notquiteonline

[notquiteonline]

The Hero’s Life is an unceasing struggle for supremacy over his peers.

WarriorMale

[notquiteonline]

Alright, fuck yall. I’m going to reddit.

[notquiteonline]

SO I GOT LOZ BOTW CREATING A CHAMPION ART BOOK AND ITS FANTASTIC

[notquiteonline]

Only worth living if somebody

is loving you

…………….

[notquiteonline]

[skyrim guard voice] you got a boyfriend? bet he doesn’t kiss ya! [sips drink] AURGH! 

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Here’s a photo of the band evanescence playing donkey konga in 2004.

[notquiteonline]

i went to a drag show thinking it was a drag show becuase it was advertised as a drag show and after 45 minutes of no queens some guy came out and started doing magic tricks

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christians: god is formless, god can come across as anyone or anything

person: god might be a woman

christians:

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i love /r/fitness

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bye

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[PLEASE KEEP ANONYMOUS BC I DON’T WANT TO BE FIRED]

I’m a bra fitter in the UK. Won’t name the store, but it’s one that’s internationally popular so occasionally we get people from abroad coming in to bulk-buy English bras because they fit better and are cheaper.

A few months ago a German woman, who didn’t speak any English, came in for a fitting with her two daughters to translate for her. What she didn’t know was that I speak near-fluent German because I used to work in Bochum as a primary school teacher.

I fitted her for an hour (she wanted a LOT) and she slagged me off the whole time - “she doesn’t know what she’s doing / she’s so young– have they given me an intern? I want a professional / I won’t take fashion advice from a girl that heavy / she’s not using european sizing, is she stupid” - and her daughters translated VERY favourably, both of them clearly quite uncomfortable with the situation.

I put on a brave face for the whole thing, pretending not to notice, and then as I was putting in her customer info (we keep a record of all our customers) one of the daughters complimented me for pronouncing their surname correctly.

I said thanks, and casually dropped into conversation - in perfect German - that I used to live in Germany and spoke the language.

Watching all the colour drain from that woman’s face as she realised what just happened, and seeing her two daughters quietly lose their collective shit behind her, was pretty glorious. Almost made it worth it.

[notquiteonline]

Animal Crossing GameCube was so heartless. Villagers would randomly paint your roof. It was so hard to make money. One time a villager sold me a mystery item without even asking and took all the money I was carrying. 12 thousand bells. It was a pitfall seed.