notesfromgirlx

[notesfromgirlx]

What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds

[notesfromgirlx]

Now I kind of want a buddy cop movie about intergalactic police forces trying to integrate  a new human member and trying really hard to be welcoming and supportive.  

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

[notesfromgirlx]

Concept: That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (”that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders” etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.

[notesfromgirlx]

This actually reminds me of why fish swimming in a school is helpful to their survival. When a predator comes and they react the sheer volume of possible targets confuses the predator as they attempt to pursue multiple target. Unlike what you might think, that a larger target pool increases the likelyhood of a predator catching one “fish” a large enough number will actually increase the chances that every “fish” escapes. If you look at the clip you can actually see the cop wavering between possible targets until they’ve all gotten a fair sized head start. 

So. Remember kids. Be good. Work with others. Share. and stay in school. 

Cop catches teens smoking pot

[notesfromgirlx]

[notesfromgirlx]

If Hugh Jackman can deadlift 405 pounds, he shouldn’t have settled merely for Marius. He could’ve picked up Enjolras as well. You know what, add Eponine. Street gamines can’t possibly weigh that much. Man let’s just add the whole of Les Amis (including Gavroche). It’s Hugh Jackman. He can take it. 

[notesfromgirlx]

So this one time my father picked me up from a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) meeting after high school. I was the vice president of our GSA. I was helping to organize a bake sale. I was telling my dad about this. My dad got really quiet and I could see the gears turning... so I mentioned my gay best friend and could see him go “is my daughter a....... good supportive friend? Yes. Yes. She is a good supportive friend. This is good. I have a good daughter. Who I raised to support her friends and people who needed help. Yes. Good. Good talk.” 

family member: why do you even care so much about gay rights??

gay person about to invent being an ally: oh? You haven’t heard?

[notesfromgirlx]

I’ve answers phones at four different offices, one of which had different company names depending on what line was ringing, all in under five years. 

I’ve never given the wrong company but when I’m tired and harried I’ll occasionally pick up the phone and just freeze as I try to remember who I’m currently working for. 

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[notesfromgirlx]

Let me post this before it becomes an act of treason or sedition.

[notesfromgirlx]

Here lies Alex. She was not going to be leaving the house until I was going to be leaving the house and then I had to go to work. 

Here lies Asia. They are not going to be able to make it.

[notesfromgirlx]

new year’s resolutions for my cat

eat right: more food from food dish, less lint from floor

get more exercise: jump for enriching dangle toy, not hide under bed till scary feathers go away

treat others with kindness: if awake before 7 am, no run at bed for flying leap to head of human even once, let alone over and over until human get up

stay positive: food coming soon. no need for scream

develop independent life skills: try eat food maybe once or twice without insist human sit on floor nearby for moral support. just try!

practice self-care: get on lap when human have full cup of coffee and about to watch the crown, not five minute before human leave for work

learn meteorology: if too cold for human to open window sixty second ago, it still too cold now. also cold outside bedroom window, bathroom window, living room window. all windows the same

[notesfromgirlx]

#11 the lyrics are not gay if you read what they’re actually supposed to be but when you listen to the song it’s *really* hard to understand the lyrics, resulting in gay interpretations.

the six types of gay songs

the song is explicitly about romantic love between two people of the same gender

the song does not contain explicitly gay lyrics, but is performed by a gay artist

the song is not sung by a gay artist, but the singer is of the same gender as the subject of the song and does not change the pronouns

the song is supposed to be about straight people but if you squint, the narrator is clearly in love with Jolene herself, come on

the song itself is ambiguous but the music video was extremely homoerotic

neither the lyrics nor the singer are gay but like, it’s just really catchy…

[notesfromgirlx]

You can recycle old/unwanted cds to make a drop spindle 

Also spinning goes better if you can focus on something with a steady beat as it helps novice spinners figure out a rhythm to the work... and helps mildly less novice spinners not overthink the whole thing.

In a pinch you can use cardboard to make a shuttle that works decently for a beginner’s loom, but I wouldn’t suggest it for more complicated stuff. 

If you’re weaving a pattern where the threads will all be used equally double check before you start that the threads are as close to the exact same thickness as they can be or you will cry when you realize later that they weren’t. 

i told ya we’ve canceled discourse n we’ve moved on to homesteading skills

[notesfromgirlx]

I got literally halfway through the first line before my brain autocorrected to start singing this song correctly. 

Some witches once told me The throne was gonna hold me. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. They were looking kind of weird They were women but with beards And they said there’d be a crown upon my head.

See a dagger coming and it won’t stop coming Home to my wife and we murder King Duncan Didn’t make sense not to live for the crown Your cred goes up but your mind goes down.

So much to plot, so much to scheme So what’s wrong with taking the king’s seat? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine till you kill Banquo.

Hey now, you’re a Scot star, get your kilt on, go slay Hey now, Thane of Cawdor, get the show on, this play And all the witches agree None of women born can harm thee.

[notesfromgirlx]

I’m thinking about her

[notesfromgirlx]

It’s almost as if Hugh Hefner was projecting a force-field that protected creepy famous men, and with his death they were suddenly exposed.

[notesfromgirlx]