notagainnoah

[notagainnoah]

It was funny, how one's affections for another person could make one pay attention to nearly everything that happened around or regarding that person. Noah had never been a man of details, and his attention span hardly ever held onto one person unless they were infinitely interesting. In a way, his attention span had actually lessened with his travels; sure, he paid a lot more attention to his surroundings, but, as people had woven themselves in and out of his life in the past few months, so he had come to pay less attention to them. Remember less details. Care less. Which suited him fine, really -- Noah had enough mirth in him, he had enough love for life to always welcome and say farewell to people with happiness. Though he didn't extend deeper care for the people that wove themselves in and out of his life, he was nonetheless always equally glad that they appeared and that he got to share experiences with them.  With Oliver, it was different. For all the people Noah had let go of since he left Annapolis -- closer friends, family, even his mother, somewhat -- Oliver had... remained. Been something of a constant. It was funny, how Noah's affections for the man had lingered, as strong as they'd been when they first popped into existence. It was funny, how Noah's affections made him pay more attention to Oliver, remember more details and care more. It was funny how Noah's affections for Oliver made him register the way the other man moved closer; it was funny because it normally wasn't something Noah's mind would jump to, yet, in that moment, he even felt his heart give another chuckle, vibrating in the small space between himself and Oliver.  He recovered quickly, however. Noah's eyes had admittedly darted to travel Oliver's body, though as the other man spoke, Noah managed a cheeky grin at the compliment. Well -- not only was it true, but, it was coming straight from Oliver. But then the conversation toned down a tad, and Noah sharpened his ears -- probably for the first time in history -- as Oliver went on to answer his question. He kept his dark eyes to Oliver's muddy blue, and the more the other man spoke, the more Noah could feel his face twist into a frown. First of confusion, as though what Oliver said somehow didn't make sense, or as though the other man was somehow making it up; yet the more the truth of Oliver's words settled in on his face, so it did on Noah's.  Pappy? Yeah, he remembered. Noah was going to meet him. They'd talked about this. Fleetingly, Noah pondered about Pappy's residence -- did he reside here? On the farm? Oliver continued, however, so Noah's thoughts settled. Couldn't take care of him anymore... tears falling-- wait, tears? Noah searched Oliver's face -- looked right into the pain, into the loss and hurt -- as though there was more to come. As though Oliver wasn't finished, as though Pappy had lived to see past 22 November 2013. As that thought crossed his mind, and as Oliver averted his gaze, it hit Noah squarely in the -- well -- in his everything. The realization that there was no more. Oliver had finished talking, and the tears and the pain and the loss only amounted to one thing.  Before Noah could stop himself, he'd scooted over to the other man, leaving no space at all between their bodies. He didn't touch Oliver -- in fact, if truth be told, Noah had no idea what to do or how to comfort his friend, so he merely let their legs touch naturally in their proximity. "Hey," he nevertheless prompted softly. He paused, unsure of what to do next. Well -- he'd barely reacted to the news, himself. Everything sprung up in him at once; he wanted to comfort Oliver, but had no idea how; he wanted to distinguish his own feelings, but couldn't figure out a way to. The loss cut deep in Oliver, that much was obvious, but... Noah had never met the older man. He felt pangs of sympathy for his friend, but, it was all strangely limited. At least when it came to his loss. When it came to his pain, Noah found himself with a strange desire to rid Oliver of it completely. He wished Pappy hadn't died, he wished he could somehow revive him and make Oliver happy again. It struck Noah that Oliver had lost Pappy only two months ago -- simultaneously not long ago at all but also too long ago; Oliver needed his support here and now, but Noah had also missed his window of proper support.  Strangely, this made him blurt out, "I should have been here." Noah watched Oliver closely, an expression of concentration in his face. His mind worked furiously to come up with something else to say, something of more importance, something that could soothe Oliver properly. But what could he say? He was sorry for his loss? Well -- he was... in a way. He was sorry for Oliver's pain. He was sorry that Pappy no longer existed. But he couldn't say that, could he? It sounded... weird. Between two close friends, you didn't say "I'm sorry for your loss", did you? You said meaningful, poetic and beautiful things, and you hugged and-- hugged!  It was a poor life-line, but, it was as life-line nonetheless. Without thinking it through at all, Noah quickly scooted to sit next to Oliver, slithered an arm around the other man's shoulders, and pulled him into a side-ways hug. 

Oliver was still in some state of shock, but it was a welcome state, one that took his mind off of Pappy for the first time in months and one that also brought Noah Winters along with it. He was still slightly embarrassed by his offhand comment and the state of himself and his bedroom, but it hardly mattered once Noah sat down. There was more than just a dip where the other man sat, there was an actual man sitting there and Oliver could only react to that, to him. Noah was too close now, no barrier or space between them, no glass like there was once before. There wasn’t even anyone in the room to break Oliver’s distraction but he had a feeling he wouldn’t let himself anyways. Noah Winters was in his bed, breathing his air and—and touching his beard? Oliver met Noah’s gaze intently, his bearded cheek absently and unknowingly tilting towards Noah’s hand. He would close his eyes in bliss if he could break his trance with Noah. But he could not look away, Noah’s hand was strong on he smiled as he went, like it was where he was meant to be.

Oliver smiled back. A shy smile he tried to bite back at first but was soon smiling at the sides and ruffling up his thick beard slightly. “Don’t need to ask,” he found himself saying aloud, willing Noah to stay just a little longer with his eyes. It felt fitting almost, their first touch after all these months to be so… intimate. It could’ve easily gone another way, a brotherly hug or an awkward pat on the shoulder of some sort. But no, it was much more than that and Oliver found himself unconsciously shifting closer to Noah, wishing it was still going on. “Don’t feel too bad, man. Your beard still looks nice,” Oliver pointed out, suddenly wanting to caress Noah’s beard himself just to make sure. “…You look nice,” he finished up, unable to deny the truth in his voice. He had a mind to be embarrassed again but all he could really feel was the stare of Noah’s brown irises and the warmth the body next to his provided.

And he was wearing blue, teal at that. The fucker. Only Noah Winters could come back into my life, wear teal, and look at me like that all at the same time, he almost thought out loud but knew better than to actually say it. “No, not really…” Oliver purposefully let himself trail off and began playing with his hands. “Do you remember my grandfather, Pappy?” he began, blue eyes searching Noah’s and body still involuntarily moving closer to his and relishing in his heat. “Well he, uhm. He got sick again.” He was losing his nerve now, gripping his hands in lap tighter and eyes now searching Noah’s frantically, looking for the words he couldn’t say.

“I came back here to… to take care of him.” The words felt heavier on his tongue and Oliver could no longer keep the emotion from his words. He never cried in front of Noah before. Not that he shouldn’t, it just felt unfamiliar doing anything with Noah, even if it felt right at the same time. Noah was this untouchable entity before. He was far away and out of Oliver’s grip, but not his mind. It was easier before, somehow. He couldn’t mess up on skype or text message and if he did it hardly mattered when Noah was in some unknown city and not right next to him like he was now. How did I ever do anything around this man? Oliver asked himself.

“I took care of him for awhile until, he couldn’t anymore,” the tears could be heard in his voice. Oliver didn’t try to stop them only spoke, slowly and quietly so he could remain understood. “That was in November. The twenty-second.” Finally Oliver tore his eyes from Noah’s and looked at his hands in his lap. 

[notagainnoah]

Only when Noah had blurted out the most unceremonious greeting his mind could conjure, did he stop to briefly reflect over... well, just -- over Oliver. Not only did the beard -- he was damn sure he'd never seen Oliver grow it to such an amount before -- slightly surprise him, but for some reason, his mind (amazingly enough) recollected their texts almost immediately. Something was wrong. Oliver was back in his hometown -- heck, he was back in his homehouse. Childhood home. For the first time in Noah's life, he made a mental note -- a note to keep recollecting that text conversation. For the moment, however, Noah merely grinned at the other man, and moved further into his room.  "It suits you, y'know," he grinned, and absentmindedly closed the door. "Looks kinda fluffy." A desire to touch it immediately rose up through his chest, though before he could follow the impulse to ask Oliver if he could, the other man spoke once more. A boisterous laughter escaped Noah as Oliver questioned the reality of the situation; amusement etched itself into every creak and crevice of Noah's smile as he shook his head at Oliver. "Not today, you're not," he replied quickly, and winked. 

Noah didn't bother to reply to Oliver's inquiry, but simply strode over to the bed and sat down. Frankly, he thought it was long overdue -- in fact, he should have sat down the moment he entered! Getting closer to Oliver was almost like shining a bright light at something very dark, illuminating all its details; for one, Noah noticed immediately that he'd forgotten to remove his jacket. He also immediately noticed just how attractive Oliver was, and how attractive he was with a beard, almost as if the man was a source of heat, sending Noah's blood circulating faster -- making its existence known further -- the closer he got. Before he did anything else, however, Noah immediately extended a hand to caress Oliver's beard. It was a gentle caress, almost careful, as if Noah wanted to feel each and every one hair individually. As if he wanted Oliver to feel the skin on skin contact in detail.  The grin grew wider on his lips as he met Oliver's eyes confidently, and shrugged. "Prob'ly should've asked, but I wanted t'do that since I came in just now," he said cheerfully, almost as if it hadn't been anything out of the ordinary for the two. Almost as if he'd been oblivious to the way his heart had practically chuckled, made his ribcage vibrate. "Thought I'd get it outta the way," he added, and winked. Only then did he withdraw his hand, however. "Now, that's a much more impressive beard than mine -- and I wear mine all the time!" he said in an incredulous manner, and raised his eyebrows at the other man pointedly. "Can't believe I let you outshine me, man." Noah shook his head in dejection, though winked at Oliver once again.  "You okay, though?" Noah asked, his tone much softer now. He removed his jacket to reveal the teal shirt below -- the brightest color of blue he'd worn so far -- before he leaned back on the bed, making himself comfortable. 

“No need to do that over the phone, dude.” Oliver read and reread Noah’s text, confused as to what the curly-haired man had up his sleeve and simultaneously hearing his voice in his head. It’d been long, much too long since they spoke in anything other than text messages. Oliver regarded this with guilt, but it wasn’t much more than he gave any other than Ava and that’s because she was right there, unrelenting yet gentle unlike the well-wishers that continued to stop by two months later. How could they not with Oliver not as much as stepping outside within the past two months and their natural affinity for caring for their neighbors? Oliver tried to keep that in mind when he willed them away at their knocks that came bi-weekly. He knew he should want them there, want anything or anyone in lieu of the loneliness he felt, but it was that very loneliness that allowed him to stay where he was, to wallow in it.

Oliver looked to his laptop, closed and sat atop a pile of clothes and things he hadn’t bothered to pick up. His room was the only Ava spared with her cleaning. He was grateful for that. He opened it slowly, waiting for the telltale sign of Noah to pop up. His heart pounded as the blue eyes scanned the screen, waiting for the inevitable of Noah’s Skype call and the ache of truth Oliver had to give him. But it never came and Oliver drew his attention to the sound of Ava welcoming someone downstairs. Who was it now? The William’s again, he wondered, puzzled why the voices continued and they weren’t shooed away with the rest within a couple of minutes.

Nothing could have prepared Oliver for Noah Winters’ head (and then the rest of him) popping into his childhood bedroom. Well, his bedroom bedroom now, he supposed. “Noah,” he breathed out, voice ripe with incredulousness and unlike his own. Leave it to Noah to bring up the recently-acquired scruff on his face instead of the fact that he was here, in his bedroom, in Mayfield, in Ohio. “Yeah, it’s new,” he said with an unconscious ruffle of his facial hair and a small smirk he couldn’t stop from forming to accompany his blush. Noah looked the same, a little taller maybe but that was probably because Oliver was seated on his bed and the other man stood, as if he belonged all along and this wasn’t a shock. “You’re here,” he found himself saying, eyes tracing over Noah’s face again and again as if he’d disappear within a moment’s notice.

“I thought you were going to Skype me.” Oliver gestured to his open laptop and shut it, eyes still not accustomed to Noah across the room; Noah who he’d still yet to touch when he was so near. “Am I dreaming?” he asked suddenly, then blushed furiously at himself. “Sorry I—want to sit down?” Oliver scooted and patted the spot next to him, needing the contact of the other man for this to be real and if he were honest with himself, simply because he just needed it. 

[notagainnoah]

There was absolutely no need to do anything over the phone, Noah mused. Not because he had his laptop with him, not because he had access to one, nor because he was somehow going to video call Oliver in any other manner. There was absolutely no need to do anything over the phone for the simple fact that Noah had exercised himself once and for all -- in his entire life -- to be there physically for another person. Not that he usually detested the thought or anything, but if people didn't call on him, he wouldn't come. Especially not if that meant giving up a job and a possible place to live at in the process. 

Yet, there he was. Squat in the middle of Mayhem. No-- Mayfair. May...held? Some town in some state in some country. Either way, Noah was there. Squat in the middle of it, see. Well. Maybe not middle. More like outskirts. Then again, the entire town -- or was it a village? -- felt like the outskirts of a larger town, so everywhere Noah had went, it had felt like he was just three or four bus stops away from cafes and restaurants and pubs and libraries. Though he wasn't. Not by a mile. Or miles, rather. Hundreds of them, he didn't doubt. He didn't really have the vaguest knowledge of if that was true, but, Mayfield --- Mayfield! That was it! -- sure made him feel like it. It made him miss Annapolis a little. Then again, Annapolis made him miss LA, San Francisco, Seattle, and New York. Especially New York. That city had been a bliss. 

Nevertheless, Noah's thoughts immediately went back to Mayfield, and inevitably the person he'd traveled there for. Oliver. Oliver Lockwood. Oliver Lockwood who, while in Mayfield, apparently lived on a farm. A farm. Noah wasn't going to lie -- when he'd first spotted it, he'd double-checked the address. Then, with a smack as his palm connected to his forehead, he'd remembered that it was a detail Oliver had actually shared with him. So, he'd only gone on to hurry up to it, and now stood tucking his phone back into the front pocket of his jeans, which was just a little difficult, seeing as they fit so tightly against him.  In a short moment, however, Noah finally knocked on the door, the cheeriest of smiles on his face. When the door opened, however, it wasn't Oliver who met him. True, it was a familiar face, and Noah was led inside pretty quickly by the redhead, so he didn't much ponder about her presence. If anything, it was a delight -- she was a delight. She seemed happy to see him, even though they'd never directly interacted. Eventually, she led Noah to Oliver's room, and left him just before he entered. Without knocking, of course.  Nevertheless, he had the decency to stick his head in briefly before he appeared bodily, to give Oliver at least the smallest of windows to react. "Heya, so--," he started, though immediately paused. "Y'grew a beard?" he blurted out, and outright laughed. It wasn't mocking, or incredulous -- more enthusiastic than anything. "Man," he said, lacking the grace to even pretend not to have said it with as much appreciation as he did. 

[notagainnoah]

Text to Oliver

Oliver: no. not really.

Oliver: can you talk now? i don't think i could explain it right over text. probably couldn't explain it right either way.

Noah: no need to do that over the phone, dude. hang on just a sec

[notagainnoah]

Text to Oliver

Oliver: in my bedroom...

Oliver: i've seen better days but it's nice to hear from you

Oliver: i mean, i'm sorry i haven't gotten back to you lately. ava told me you skype called a few times.

Noah: that doesn't sound entirely good! you okay??

Noah: yeah it's okay man! didn't have much time on those occasions anyway.

Noah: just checkin up on ya tho! you okay??

[notagainnoah]

Text to Oliver

Noah: ayyyyyyyyy I really hope u see this & answer!! where are u at :)

Noah: right now I mean!

Noah: right at this second. like. physically!

Noah: also how are you etc ;)

[notagainnoah]

(x)

[notagainnoah]

The Hobo King. Now - I could definitely live with that, aye. Allegiances? Aren't we fancy! You'll be my squire-boy-thingy then, eh? 'Cause - y'curls are dandy, and all, but I need m'self someone who'll fill my bath and bake my cakes, y'know. Cardboard bath - with muddy enough water, sure. But I still need someone t'do the job.  Hey - I already respect ya. Don't fret. I just maintain' that I'm the one who should be worshipped, though! Suure ya didn't. Don't be 'mbarrassed - we've all got those kinda things in our lives. I won't judge you, y'know. 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

Ahaha - deal. We'll be the cutest hobos in all of Annapolis, I tell ya. No one can match our curls - an', well, no one'll probably want t'match our curls, I mean; it'd be a crime, y'know? We'll build ourselves a nice little cardboard home an' flourish into a great hobo-family. Sounds like a plan, eh? King? I can live with that title! I'll be the prettiest darn king the hobos've ever seen, if 'm perfectly honest with you. Dunno if they'll be able t'handle that, though... 'm turnin' twenty-five on the thirty-first. Hah - guess that makes you older'n me! Hang me up? Well, well, Lockwood - you're really pushing the kinky here. Didn't know y'had that in you. An', just for future reference - I look damn beautiful wherever I am! But, hah, you're right. I'd look absolutely stunning hung up in your living room. 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

Ahaha, alright, alright - might be 'm slightly underestimating you, there. But until y'bake a proper hobo-pie, I won't give you the benefit of the doubt. An', let's just put it this way -- y'll know what a hobo-pie is when you've lived on th'street long enough. Chances are that you'll invent the hobo-pie, if 'm honest. Hey, hey - now you're just gettin' kinky with me. Tapin' my mouth shut? Who'll sing for the people then, huh? My voice's simply enchanting - or what d'you say?  "The Lost Boys" - s'that a stage-name suggestion? 'Cause. I dig it. Even though 'm twenty-five-to-be. May, eh? Ahah - I might, now that you've given me the idea, hillbilly. Don't be 'mbarrassed if y'can't keep it down, though. S'not exactly th'same as wrestling a bear. 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

Hopefully, y'know. If not - I know who t'blame. Can y'handle the dirt on the street? Pretty sure it hails from the sewers, y'know - s'probably radioactive an' stuff like that. S'kinda big difference between radioactive mutants tryna' eat you for breakfast, and a little horse-poo to go with your coffe! Nah, nah - what really gets you the goods, see, is the use of your eyes. I was born with that puppydog-glaze, y'know, but you're gonna have t'work on it a little. Blue's beautiful, y'know? Deep brown's just plainly sayin' "save me." Damn, you'll live a short life, Ollie. Ah, well, 'course I will! We'll eat nothin' but candy, and skip 'round in our underwear like we're proper mentals! Or did I get the "last month on earth" experience wrong? Could'a sworn it was something about underwear and candy... When's the date, though? 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

Ah, s'alright. Neither am I.  ... that was easy! I was sure you small-town folk'd be more stubborn, y'know -- I guess s'the charm of white polka dots, ain't it? Ya might wanna keep an extra one of those, see - life on the street's hard, y'know. Can't promise you'll live t'see your next birthday! 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

Your little antics didn't heal it, 'm sorry to inform you. But - what can I say? Either you've got it or y'don't, an' I guess my split lip and finger-less gloves jus' takes the cake, don't they?  I gotta give it to ya - you're the first person to catch on, Lockwood. 'm afraid I'm gonna have to kill you now, though. Ain't no way to turn back. S'much as I'd like t'have been your hobo on display - m'secret's out. If it's out, it ain't a secret, and it's gotta stay a secret. I need t'make my money, y'know! That's, unless of course - you join me. 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

No! Wasn't even moving my arse anywhere, was just, y'know, relaxing on a couple'a stairs in a public area, and this dude comes up like he's real sympathetic, gives me this sandwich. Ah, well, if there is, we'll know soon. I've already eaten it! Guess I've nailed the homeless lifestyle completely now - without bein' homeless, I mean. 

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

[notagainnoah]

I guess't really pays off t'look like a right homeless punk.

Just got myself handed a sandwich from some random dude on the street. 

[notagainnoah]

whiskey

I don’t much mind what alcohol it is; s’long as it’s alcohol. Whiskey can be nice, though. If not t’drink, see, s’pretty fun setting it on fire. Dunno why’d anyone waste’t like that, really, but hey - to each his own, I s’pose.

[notagainnoah]

twobrokenwyngs:

Every part of me just exploded.