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It is still hurts so freaking bad 😞😭

Buck already has his heart. Tommy gave it to Evan and he is scared Evan would break it but after all of that does he even has his heart anymore 💔❤️‍🩹?. We will see Buck going through it, he has his people we will see his coping mechanism and I know he want it so bad to see and hear Tommy's voice but yeah that ain't the direction they're going to.

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This movie is kinda good in annoying way like what kind of psychopath and mind games is that, you can see the range of emotions and Lou pretty face all the time but urrghhh.

It is mystery thriller but more like annoyingly mystery and frustration thriller. I'm 60% focus because the 40% is me checking out Lou's pretty face. I need to reverse few scenes because I can't even hear the lines properly plus my bad English such a hurdles.

But it feels good looking at Lou Ferrigno Jr during this time of delicate emotion🥹☺️😚😉😆.

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7.04//8.06

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We can't even enjoy BuckTommy without any noise from that side since it happened. They keep on shoving their theory and bad takes and insults.

We also can't even have a relaxing time during break because they keep on saying Tommy not going to comeback. Plus all the harassment Lou get and again all the insults we saw everywhere on the actor and the show official account, making a content just to invalidate the character and hating the actor, mentioning him in your negative comments.

When he finally appeared in episode one he still get the same treatment and we saw the same situation. When episode 5 happened still the same situation. Finally BuckTommy break up, we can't even make noise and express our feeling about that in peace.

This is free world, if you can have years of delulu and behaving badly no one can't stop you and called you out(plus you people are beyond saving) still have the audacity to act superior like we aren't the viewers and fans of the show. You can't even take it watching us expressing whatever we feel because you think Tommy Kinard is outsider, Lou is outsider and Tommy deserve to be hate so does the actor and you think BuckTommy relationship is a stepping stone and an experiment for Buck.

It is up to you to feel that, to invalidating the character and development. Hating Lou is bad behavior shouldn't be proud of it. We want to enjoy the beautiful short moment and wallowing in sadness because of the break up . It is our right and freedom.

You can go laugh and make fun of us to your heart content but knowing how bad your behavior these 9 months even way before season 7 happened, I know that although BuckTommy story is short and they broke up, all the people that love Tommy Kinard, BuckTommy and Lou aren't the nasty one.

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As absolutely enraged and heartbroken I am with the way that was handled. I’m so grateful we got him. We got them. We got to see how happy Buck could be.

I’m grateful that we got someone as kind and genuine as Lou to be our Tommy. He brought so much love and care and devotion to the character.

I hope to see him again. What they were building feels too monumental to say goodbye to.

Thank you Lou, for being our Tommy and for your scrunchy smile brightening our day. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.

Signing off,

Me

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EXPRESSIONS ✨ 2/2

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A (long) interpretation of the 8x06 BuckTommy ending

I've been trying to make sense of why Tommy responded to Buck's monologue by breaking up and here are my thoughts. This is all my interpretation and my interpretation only. I'm choosing to believe it because it's the only way the scene makes sense to me. Pls dont get mad about it.

Please feel free to add on and discuss.

I think Tommy was completely ready to overlook the Abby connection until Buck started talking about his relationship with her. I don't think it's the relationship that changed Tommy's mind, but how Buck applied it to their relationship.

Buck said "My relationship with Abby was the most transformative of my life... until now" and I think that's what the nail in the coffin was. While it's incredibly sweet was he was trying to say, what he essentially actually said was "this relationship is another transformation point in my life".

Then when talking about Tommy being confident with himself, Buck says "honestly, it just makes me admire you more". If this weren't a breakup scene, Buck should have said "makes me love you more" here. Again, what he's essentially actually said is "I'm looking up to you and admiring you and learning how to be that way".

While Buck has the absolute best intentions with what he's saying, he's trying to convey to Tommy how much he likes him and appreciates him and wants to be with him (hence why he follows it up by asking Tommy to move in with him), I think Tommy took this as Buck seeing him as a guide.

With the way Buck phrased things, and the things I interpreted from it, it does come off as "you're guiding me through my first gay relationship". Again, I absolutely don't think this is what Buck meant, but I wonder if this is what we were meant to see. Buck still has Tommy on a pedestal because he loves likes him so much; he changed his life for a good way, but maybe his vision is clouded by that. He’s still in awe of Tommy, but his speech makes it seem like it’s all for the wrong reasons.

Tommy knew he was Buck's first boyfriend, they'd gotten over this hurdle in 7x05 when Tommy leaves Buck as the restaurant and says he's not ready. Buck proved he was ready by coming out and calling Tommy and announcing their relationship publicly.

But here we are, six months later, and instead of Buck telling Tommy he loves him, he's telling him their relationship is transformative for Buck and he admires Tommy. He said the wrong things with good intentions. I think Tommy thought Buck was ready for this, especially after all the progress they made and Buck saying "im ready to take the next step" and move in together, but Buck's monologue comes off as maybe he isn't ready. Whether he is or isn't, I suppose, is up to further interpretation entirely. I think Buck is just Bad with words and Tommy completely misconstrued his entire speech. If Buck really thinks what he's said and implied, maybe he isn't ready in Tommy's mind.

Now this is where I divert into two points:

I think Tommy was somewhat justified in not wanting to be Buck's gay guide. Tommy says "no matter how bad I want it to be... I'm not your last". He's falling for Buck, he wants a forever with Buck. But here Buck is telling him, six months into their relationship, that their relationship is just transformative for him. Or at least that's how it's coming across. At 40 years old, Tommy doesn't need to be someones gay Yoda, and if that's what he's being led to believe he is to Buck, I do think he's justified in breaking up. Nevermind the horrendous miscommunication of this conversation, they should've talked more in-depth and avoided this. Tommy knows, possibly from experience, that relationships like that don't last, and it's in that moment he thinks that's what their relationship is. I dont wholly blame him for ending it if this was his thought process.

The writing. Oh boy. Even Lou in interviews is interpreting the scene and I think when you have actors interpreting a scene they were in, it hasn't been particularly well written. This is the only instance we get where it's implied Tommy is Buck's guide. In every other episode he appears in, their relationship is completely normal and healthy. It seems to be in 8x06 he has been pivoted to act as an Abby 2.0, just a moving point for Buck. Obviously this links back to my points above. They've had to outright spell it to Buck and the audience that Tommy is Buck's first, not his last, and that Buck is still figuring himself out. Now to me, that reads as "we haven't displayed this well enough" which is again poor writing and borderline backtracking on 8x05. If it has to be explicitly said, then they haven't done a good job at showing it, which they haven't. Like I said, their relationship was perfectly normal and healthy up until this point, and it wasn't explicit or even hinted that this was Buck's 'starter relationship'. Buck, Tommy, and the audience were blindsided.

Knowing this still, the breakup still feels like it came out of nowhere. No foreshadowing, no hints. Even the characters dont see it coming (and apparently Lou didnt either). I don't like how it was written, and I believe the reason they gave for the breakup (first not last) is a bit of a cop out. That's not a valid reason. Buck didn't want to breakup, Tommy didn't want to break-up... Both characters were left unhappy. They have every reason to go back to one another.

Buck and Tommy should have been able to talk through it, work through it. This was all a miscommunication because Buck has never exactly had a way with words... There was no reason for it to go down this way and it feels out of character and abrupt. This should have been the hurdle. Instead, the show chose the easy way out to break them up and that sucks because it feels unfinished.

Ironically, because it feels unfinished, it also feels open. There's already fix-it fics that are completely logical. There are so many ways Buck and Tommy can reconcile following this that will be satisfying and beautiful. They can absolutely find their way back to each other and it won't feel forced.

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I guess they might show us how miserable Buck is for a decent time and after having a good time with his niece and conversation with his people and maybe them telling him thing like you'll get over, one day you'll find another, life must go on, thing like Tommy is a good people we really thought he is the one for you but maybe it is not the time yet or maybe we don't know Tommy and whatever he had went through before. He will back to himself before Tommy but better. Maybe he learned the lesson (urrrgghh I hate this so much).

I'm so into this theory they will either make Tommy a bad guy or a good guy that you can count off but he won't stay close in your life and be forgotten eventually . Like how he was before Chim called him for helicopter ride search and rescue.

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(Bare with me, it’s late and gathering my thoughts cohesively about this is not something I can do very well apparently)

I rewatched the first half of the break up scene where Bucks talking. And idk what happened to my brain after I watched it the first time. I guess I forgot it all because wtf is this speech 😭😭😭. I totally understand Tommy’s reservation cause why is he talking about getting married and engaged when yesterday he couldn’t even tell Josh that he loved Tommy. He really said “I’m not saying we get married or engaged even though we’d have the right thanks to many brave people before including you” girl please stop talking cause oh my god. Evan Buckley I love you but you sound insane. Obviously I don’t think that Buck was trying to make Tommy sound like his gay yoda, he was just trying to show Tommy how much he admired him because of what he had to go through that Buck himself didn’t. But it comes across so fan boyish. And Tommy is just sitting there like “wtf wtf wtf this can’t be happening”. Rewatching it and knowing what’s coming, Tommy totally did the right thing because the vibe Buck was giving off was infatuation that seems, in the moment, very fleeting. Tommy was protecting himself from what felt like the inevitable based on this one moment, which I think we all agree on. And maybe he didn’t see this coming because Buck seemed well adjusted after their initial hiccup. Or maybe he was just lying to himself. But he did say “believe me I didn’t see it coming either” like he felt blindsided by Buck’s words. Not him asking to move in but the infatuated language or how he’s somehow a hero for being gay. Because at no point have we seen Buck act abnormally with Tommy or treat him like he’s some gay icon. It has come across as a thriving relationship where they’re getting to know each other, but at no point (even in the beginning) has Buck treated Tommy like a gay yoda. So this behavior popping up all of the sudden is so jarring. As I imagine it was to Tommy. The whole scene was so poorly written tbh. It’s so out of place for their entire relationship timeline. It’s out of character and it just really doesn’t make any sense. Like Tommy was 100% in the right imo, because from his pov he just realized that this relationship for Buck is his most transformative and he admires Tommy for being gay. At no point did Buck say he loves Tommy. He said he feels so comfortable with Tommy and he admires Tommy and he doesn’t wanna be apart from Tommy. But he didn’t really say how he feels about Tommy. Or how Tommy makes him feel romantically. It comes across as impersonal if that makes sense. And again this scene is the outlier in their relationship timeline. It doesn’t fit. And I think that’s what’s so confusing. They haven’t had communication issues. At no point has Buck acted like Tommy was a queer hero. Tommy was aware from the beginning he was Bucks first and still agreed to go out with him after Buck said that he was ready for something and that sometimes could be with Tommy. All of this has been on the table the entire time. So this entire conversation is so fucking bonkers to me because it literally makes no sense. The way they wrote this left it open for resolution but also they could leave it as is. I guess it’s a great learning opportunity for Buck. But it’s also the biggest what the fuck ever because again this conversation does not fit their entire relationship.

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i wrote a whole ass psychology breakdown (for the first time in FOREVER) about the break-up. enjoy (if you so choose):

so I've been reading a lot in relation to Tommy's speech during the break-up (and have actually gotten through the scene several times now, mostly as a creative reference for these fix-it fics. I think one of the first things that I've seen completely tossed aside (that bothers the shit out of me as someone with over a decade of therapy treatment and a psychology degree) is whatever trauma Tommy carries.

We know that there are issues with his dad. We know Lou's lore behind him is that he spent a lot of his childhood alone. We don't know anything in relation to his mom, but she may or may not be the cause of more trauma. We know that his way of dealing with abuse of authority is to shut down and follow the leader, which is likely a mix of his military time and growing up in his father's household (and when I say this, I mean from what we saw of him under Gerrard's command). This is a person who has put years into getting himself into some version of okay after all that he's endured, and we know he still generally does it on his own.

To that end, here, have my breakdown of the break up (roughly right about the time Buck says "I want you to move in with me"). (with pictures!)

Prior to the offer, we watch Tommy process through Evan's explanation about his relationship with Abby, things being transformative for him, etc. We have to bare in mind that this is where we also start to get what I've dubbed "starry-eyed Buck". He's so in the throes of what he's saying that I don't think he's really considering the connotation of his words. At the same time, Tommy doesn't know what lore Evan is about to drop him about this prior relationship. Remember that he now has to contend with the fact that they both have strong opinions on their relations toward Abby, and Tommy can't know if their feelings toward her as a person will be the same. I think Lou played this beautifully, appearing anxious and apprehensive as Tommy listened to Evan explain that Abby was transformative for him. Then he shifts into how Tommy has been transformative for him (which, he has, and we as the audience know this, but we understand it from a bigger POV than what Evan is saying with his words.)

There have been posts about Evan putting Tommy up on a pedestal throughout this speech (and really, possibly even sooner, but this is where we really get it expressed). Tommy tries to rectify this to a degree by countering "I wasn't always that way".

To that end, we then get Evan telling him "I know, and it just makes me admire you more." Tommy gives a bashful smile, clearly heartened by the statement, and even opening his mouth as though he's going to respond to it in some form. It would be interesting to know what was on Lou's mind of what (if anything) he thought would've been said there. Are there lines that were removed in this scene? Was 'I love you' actually going to come up? We can't really know. However, there's this part of me that thinks that Tommy thought that they were having a discussion on the depth of their relationship which would've possibly brought those 7 letters to the equation. Either way, this entire bit of facial acting is SO important, because it speaks volumes about how Tommy feels about how Evan feels about him.

From there we get the "I want you to move in with me, and this, THIS, THIS is such an important point for this ENTIRE scene. It's two seconds, but it holds SO much for the narrative. This man, who seems to be on the verge of ...something, clearly (who knows if I Love You was on his mind, or if it was just the fact that Evan was expressing how much he cares about him.) The reason this is all so important is THIS REACTION:

Now again, we don't know Tommy's trauma, but the joy literally drops out of his expression and shifts to panic. Now, speaking solely from the standpoint that these two haven't even said "I love you" yet, his boyfriend steamrolled over him from a possible declaration of love straight to moving in together without discussing semantics. Further, it's not even "I want to live together", it's "move in with me". We don't know much about Tommy's house (because these shitheads haven't built him a set yet), but we know that he has a HOUSE. With a GARAGE. Buck lives in a LOFT. Regardless of how much of an asshole this makes me sound like, it's crawling with red flags. It comes across as "fit more into my life" instead of "lets do this thing together". Further, if that's not bad enough, mention of getting engaged and married is thrown at Tommy as well, which holds two major bits of information: One, these are on Evan's mind. We've NEVER heard him talk about getting engaged or married to anyone. This speaks to the importance of their relationship to him, but the lack of I Love You also speaks on his own trauma. If we truly are getting the rom-com trope, at some point there's likely to be a conversation about why he lept over it (*cough* Taylor, his parents *cough cough*). Meanwhile, as he's continued in his starry-eyed speech, this is what Tommy is giving:

Now for those who don't know how to spot it, this my friends is a PANIC RESPONSE. The shift forward, the move to get up, the literal deep breath. He's having a panic attack. Now, obviously we don't know what brought this on, but god-willing, we WILL get the answers.

Now, to his own point, Tommy doesn't just straight up pop Evan's pink bubble. He does express that it's a sweet sentiment, but that it's a bad idea. To which point we get:

"Evan, that is so sweet. But I can't move in with you." "And why not?" Because. I know how this ends." "Uh, what-what's that supposed to mean?"

At which point, we clearly get the qualities about Evan that Tommy likes. "Incredible guy. Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Impulsive." I don't feel that the expression here matters as much as his tone of voice, because we can see on his face that he's expressing these qualities from a good place. The next point of reference isn't until Tommy's next line, when he says that Evan's reaction is out of things being "new and exciting".

To that end, the way Evan is talking to him makes this statement valid. He's not talking to Tommy like they've been together for six months and have built a relationship that should be moving in this direction. (For the tenth time I will repeat, he couldn't even dignify whether he was in love with Tommy when Josh asked).

Furthermore, I think when you consider this part of the scene, you also have to consider the strain in Tommy's voice. Something about those concepts (living together, getting engaged, married) is terrifying. It definitely gives the impression that Tommy has been faced with some version of this before and he got burned. Why is this important? Because of this:

"I'm saying no matter how bad I want it to be, I'm not your last." Those 9 words are important on their own, but when you couple them with the expression on Tommy's face and what we've just seen him go through, there's a clear point to the fact that he's been through this before. I also think that there can't be enough importance placed on the way he intonates "how bad". This is not a man saying no because he doesn't want to. He's backpedaling because he's sure that he's going to get burned. We get this point further driven home with this exchange:

"I'm your first." "But hey, they can be the same thing." "But, they usually aren't."

See this doesn't read to me as someone who's scared because he knows Evan has never been with another man. They're both fully grown adults who have had multiple relationships. What this speaks to me (now) as, is someone who has let someone convince him before that he would be their forever, that they were all in, and then broke him. When you include his childhood trauma and whatever abandonment issues it's left him with in correlation with all of this, yes, it's still an extremely biphobic set of lines. But in the context of what he's expressing and why, it's not about telling Evan he needs more experience, it's about telling him that he doesn't believe that he'll want to stay settled down with him six months, a year, etc., down the road. And THAT my friends, is abandonment issues 101. "Everyone else has left, so it doesn't matter that I'm in love with you, because you will leave too, and I need to protect myself from that."

Following that, we get this: "if I were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it, but you'd end up breaking my heart."

This line is SO important, right next to Evan's exchange with Josh about his relationship with Tommy. Why? Because even though neither of them have said it, it spells out that these two are in fact in love with each other, even if they haven't said it.

"I don't think I could deal with that." Tommy is fucking GONE on him. He's expressing that if he gave himself fully over to what Evan's referring to, losing him would break him. Again, we don't have the full picture on his trauma, but we know there's a mountain there. It's also worth noting again, that the intonation he uses in these statements clearly come across as someone trying to reign in their emotions and keep it together. That says to me that we're dangeously close to touching his trauma.

I don't feel like I have to include the final few bits of the scene in gifs because they're all over the site now, but the next line gives over the fact that he hasn't really been open about his trauma to Evan, given that his immediate response to expressing all of this is "I should go". This kind of reaction is generally brought on as not being accepted for having certain feelings. Now, obviously Evan is caught off guard by the entire interaction, the same way Tommy was (but for different reasons), so we have to take all of that into account when we think about the fact that instead of countering Tommy's logic, he asks instead if Tommy is breaking up with him.

Body language is also so important here for Tommy. His shoulders are hunched in, we see him wipe his face (meaning there are likely tears), and when he turns around, he's so caught up in whatever wave has taken him over that it takes Evan asking him for Tommy to state "yeah, I guess I did" about breaking up. Further, there's the fact that he states that he didn't see the break-up coming, which goes back to my point at the top of this post, that he clearly thought the conversation was going one direction, and instead it goes the other. From this point, we have Evan reeling, because he wants to create more of a life with Tommy, while Tommy is shutting down because of whatever is holding him back.

Finally, as I've referenced before, we get this line:

"Should've known that parking spot was too good to be true."

That line makes zero sense out of context, but in consideration of someone trying to lighten the weight they're carrying (which you can literally see by the way he has his hand on his neck, which you generally only see people do as a stress response). You can also double entendre this statement that getting to be with Evan was too good to be true. We get that little inhale with the smile, and I swear to God the only time I've seen that kind of reaction is right before someone cracks.

And then in closing, we get the "I'll see you 'round, Buck," our closing gut punch. Evan is still reeling, clearly. His face is very "what the hell just happened". Tommy is clearly not okay. This entire scene has opened an entire can of worms on them without a whole lot of answers.

Now, I've owned the fact that basically from the end of 806, I felt like this had to be a swerve, and that there has to be more to the story. I've also pretty much owned the fact that if the writers did actually just do this for kicks and don't have a resolution for it, I may not keep watching. However, in the context of the fact that, for the moment, I'm choosing to put hope in some kind of resolution, these lines make so much more sense. It is worth noting though, most people in the fandom, let alone the general audience, aren't going to psychologically break this shit down line-by-line. They're not going to lean into whatever trauma Tommy has that we don't know about yet. Its why the internet has been a mess since Thursday night. But it's also why I talk about how, when this situation gets resolved (because right now I refuse to say if), Buck has to give up the loft and give more of himself. Tommy, by the nature of the show, has fully immersed himself in Evan's life, but we haven't seen or heard mention of Evan doing so at all in Tommy's life. That doesn't mean he hasn't, but we haven't gotten any version of that. So when I say Evan needs to give things up... it's about matching what he's asking Tommy to give up. Because at the end of the day, when this circles back around, he's effectively going to be asking Tommy to trust that he won't break his heart like others have, and when you have a lifetime of abandonment issues and have learned to cope by being hyper-independent and alone, moving in the opposite direction is more terrifying than anything else. ESPECIALLY when you love that person, which we saw Tommy spell out. Evan has the ability to break him (and probably already is via this cut-off-at-the-quick break up.)

So, I'm really gonna need these shit heads to figure out that they'll be more miserable apart than they'd ever be together.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

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This interview

First, I am so excited for Eddie's journey. This has been a long time coming for him.

Second, wtf. Buck living a "nightmare" after breaking up with Tommy?? "Holding on to the past" like Eddie used to??? Eddie held on to Shannon, the love of his life. The difference now is that Shannon is dead and Tommy is still alive!! If they want to this could be such an amazing story and parallel to what Eddie didn't get vs what Buck still can.

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I'd love to say a couple of things to express why I love Tommy and to respond to the whole "how can you love Tommy and why do you love Tommy when he was this and that?" I keep seeing this a lot and I just block because right now I'm not in a mood to argue with a wall.

You see, we are not dealing with Tommy from s2, we are dealing with Tommy after 7 years of that, who changed and worked on himself, and not to mention he didn't forget his past and he admitted he was not a good person.

We are dealing with Tommy who "made😭" my favourite boy happy, showed up for him, took care of him, let him set the pace, made him feel comfortable, flirted with him, slept on a tiny couch so he could be near Evan if he needed anything, told him he's adorable and a vision in a cone.

And that's what? In 9 episodes? I want more, I want to get to know him more, know more about his past ,his relationships, why he's so lonely.

He's perfect, well almost, but still perfect and he fits in the show and with evan, he fits with Eddie perfectly too, which I love so much.

I don't know about everyone else but this is why I adore him and they can never make me hate Thomas kinard.

Hashtag Tommylovingho

Co-signed: melty cheese

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I'm a little heartbroken.

I know better, I've been in fandom for a very long time and I try not to let my self get invested in canon queer relationships. 99% of my ships are fanon and not one of my canon ships have ended up together, and a lot of them end with one of them dying. I let bucktommy bring be back to 9-1-1 I was so excited thinking not only has Buck finally found someone who actually works but its a queer relationship to boot. We deserved a better end than this. Buck and Tommy deserved a better end than this. A man looking for someone to love him anyway and a man who is so deeply lonely and wants to love someone. That's who Buck and Tommy are to me.

Its not that they broke up, I wish I could really say I'm surprised, Its how they broke them up. We get this beautiful look at their relationship in 8.5 only to be cut off at the knees with this an episode later. They deserved a better ending in canon, if a breakup was always the plan but this feels off, there was no lead up no nothing. Tommy is just gone Buck is once again single and that's just how its going to be.

But, and is what I really want to say, fandom doesn't live in canon it lives in us. I know so many of you are just as hurt and blindsided by this episode but don't let that take way the joy we found in BuckTommy. Take a break if you need to, personally I don't plan on watching the show any more, I'm not interested in ciclical story telling where nothing actually changes for the characters I love. I'm also going to take the time this weekend to go on AO3 and comment on my favorite BuckTommy fics and tell the authors who create these wonderful stories how much I love and appreciate them.

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A few things that I’m absolutely baffled by:

1) what was the point of the Halloween episode? Why even include Tommy at the end? Why have Tommy look so fond.

2) the whole fucking episode honestly. What was the point? Why even create the weird ass Abby storyline, the Josh speech, to end in a few minutes? It makes no sense and was a complete disservice. ANDDDD it’s not going to lead to any growth, because apparently Oliver wants Buck to have casual sex like we’re back in season one.

3) why did Lou do not one BUT 2 exit interviews. Who approved that????? Not one Buck love interest has ever fucking done that. Did they think it would make use feel better? Was it a fuck you?

4) Buck, seriously that’s shit. That was shit to us and shit to Tommy’s character.

5) I’ve seen storylines handled with very little care on this show, but I’ve never seen one just blatantly spit in fandom’s face.

6) we’ve been in the trenches, we’ve gotten the fics (yall know the ones), the hate, Lou got the threats and the hate and we were fighting for our lives in the fandom and this is what we get?

7) They did Lou so dirty and they know it. They know not only are we mad but the GA is too. It’s radio silence and good. I’m glad.

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They both are cowards. Tommy for being scared to stay and fight, and Buck for not chasing and fight for them

And it's a tragedy. Because if they never would learn it, they can't be happy with anyone

Would Tommy even trust anyone, not "baby gay/bi" to stay with him forever and move in his tempo? Is he actually ready to trust someone to find people like 118 and his family? Because there's a thing, it seems now that he never trusted Buck and just wanted to have only honeymoon with him. Tommy do not ready to actually face the problems and talk and get through real problems. Then why try? Why not tell Buck from the start that it's casul? Why even start dating when you can be fwb? If you want a family, Tommy, you should know it's not just happiness and support, it's hurting each other and forgive for it and move forward changing and chosing each other again. That's what 118 is. That's how you stay with them and Buck. You should let people break your heart and glue it back together. Not run firts thing to protect it

Would Buck ever fight, really fight, and not be passive when things are hard? Bc he never tried to stop Abby or come and see her. He never tried to proof to Ali that he can be more careful and shit happens to all people (literally episode before Shannon died). He and Taylor were a mess and he was on blame too, not trying to talk and change together more. And now he just let Tommy go without a fight. He just let people leave him, because it's easier

They both never would be happy till they are doing this shit again. We have two hamsters, who swears they are tired of the wheel, but when things get hard and they should actually chose to move on from the wheel, they rush to it.. because it's easier, that's what they know how to do

It's a tragedy that two people might never be really happy just because they are cowards to do smt new. To actually try to live new life

But we saw them be brave. We saw Tommy chosing to stop laying to himself about who he is, we saw Buck to change how he sees relationship when he could chose to fuck around more in 1s. We saw Buck brave fighting for his family. Maybe one day they'll be brave enough to break the wheels they are running and be each other forever

Unfortunately, it's not today

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I just feel like I need to post my way through these feelings, I thought I would feel a little better by now.

The thing that keeps echoing in my head is all the talk of things being a romcom, the slow burn, the longing, the hurdles…

The way this just feels abandoned, like they ran out of time and had to end it. But where were all the hurdles?! This is a hurdle. I keep wondering if it’s foolish for me to hope, because I want to make sense of this. They had their first bump in the road, moving in together is a big deal and it’s something that can be worked out.

They just spent so much time laying out potential story ideas for Tommy, but if this was always going to be how it would end up then why not foreshadow it? Why not show Tommy being a little reluctant and hesitant about things, even just asking Buck to slow down a little in the Halloween episode which they filmed after this breakup.

They were together for six months, Tommy knows what Buck is like so suddenly complaining that he’s impulsive because he wants to move in together is just so weird.

Yes, he’s impulsive. He probably has ADHD. He invited you to the wedding, how is this now an issue for you? Do you think this impulsiveness is going to lead to him cheating? Where’s the proof of that either?! It all just feels so out of character!

I feel stupid for feeling this way, but I really resonated with this relationship and Tommy. I bought into the romance because it felt different, I just feel used, frustrated and confused.