nostalgia-a-mind-trick

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Every time I wake up, first thing I do, feel my body, feel the hurting in my stomach if it's intense, if it hurts so much, feel my tired weak muscles, my tired arms, shoulders and legs, I stand up and feel that dizziness rushing into my whole body, so I sit down, close my eyes and breathe " damn it feels so good" I say to myself and I just smile. It feels so good feeling my stomach empty, no food no drinks, nothing, just emptiness. The feeling makes me alive, makes me feel I'm existing, I actually do exist in this world, m in control, I ve control over my body. It makes me happy whenever I s++ve, no more numbness, I can truly feel myself, every part of my body I can feel it, I don't know how to explain this, but it's like a connection rising between me and myself, this how I reconnect with her. And boom I wanna s+++ve more and more and lose more and more w eight. St+++ving it's like some ecstasy to me. It makes me feel real, so much real. It makes me feel something. Something that only I can understand.

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(pics aren't mine)

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Source: Pinterest

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“Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but “steal” some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.”

— Albert Camus, from Notebooks, 1951-1959

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Everytime the infection in my bones cures, 

I hope it lasts longer than seven sunrises. 

My locks soaked in slick grease become soft and luscious overnight. 

Why can't it last?

In moments of elation, I know my past is not knocking at my door,

In mourning, I hear the rattling thumps and screams 

From a child I do not remember anymore.

She feels familiar, close to me but somehow oceans separate us. 

She is in me, she is in you. 

I watch the sunrise from afar, I revel in it through the smudged window. 

I see the angry moon, glaring at me as if it knows something I do not. 

I pray to ancestors in these moments, 

Begging

Pleading

Wishing 

I was anywhere but in these shackles.

I do not need go now, I feel it in my fingertips as they grace your frame 

I see the outline of your weary heart and know I belong in it for years to come. 

The softness in gazes, the happiness is blinding in our cocoon, the whirlwind of to-do’s hush for brief moments 

as our souls play together, running wild, enjoying the freedom of our devotion 

I will not die, not yet, not with you.

-written by me-

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here's the reason you procrastinate

based on Fuschia Sirois' research

everyone procrastinate at some point. research suggests that almost 1 in 4 people procrastinate on a fairly regular basis, and the rates are even higher among college and university students ( 50% of them procrastinate regularly and about 85-90% do so occasionally ).

because procrastination is so common we tend not to put too much thought into it, in the end what is the problem? it's just delay.

well, it's not. actually procrastination is harmful delay ( so defined by the researchers ); it is a form of delay which is:

voluntary

unnecessary

involves important tasks which you intended to do

people often underestimate the consequences of procrastination and how debilitating and harmful it can be. if you delay dealing with ( for example ) your academic works, of course you can expect some negative results in that area, but what about the collateral consequences of it?

research has shown that people who have problems with procrastination have low physical and mental health and practice less healthy behaviors. they deal with depression, stress and anxiety.

just think about the enormous amount of stress that procrastination brings: first of all, constantly chasing deadlines. deadlines can nag anyone, even those who don't struggle with delaying, but then it ends, the job is turned in, and everything goes back to normal. for procastinators this is not the case, they will keep putting off important things and will constantly end up with an imminent deadline.

so, if it's so harmful for your health, why do people do it? some people think it's about laziness or poor time managment, but actually:

laziness isn't procrastination. if you're lazy you don't have the energy to do anything, instead procrastinators are always busy with a thousand non-essential tasks to do, in fact they avoid doing one specific task, not every task ( for example if i need to study, but i'm procrastinating it, i end up cleaning my room )

poor time managment it's actually a symptom of procrastination, not a cause.

from a psychological perspective the origins of procrastination are rooted in negative emotions and the urge to cope with them through avoidance. so actually procrastination is about poor mood managment, not poor time managment.

procrastination starts when we have a task that's unpleasant, but we have to do it. and we use procrastination then as a way to get relief from those negative emotions associated with the task, so basically it's not even about avoiding the task, but it's about avoid the negative emotions that we associate with the task.

we need to avoid stress and aversive feeling that come with the task, especially when we don't feel like we can manage those negative emotions at the moment. so we take the task, we put it aside, and it's instant relief. it's fast, it's easy and it works for a little while, then that sense of shame, guilt and self-blame starts to kick in.

so why do we keep procrastinating? for that sense of relief, because that made us feel rewarded and we tend to repeat behaviors that rewarded us. this can easily lead to a cycle of procrastination.

however, the negative thoughts that we have ( "why didn't i start earlier?", "i'm letting myself down" etc. ) don't actually make us take action. they just add layers of layers on pre-existing negativity.

so how do you get out of the procastination cycle?

go back to valuing your task, if it's so important that you do it, remind yourself why you are doing it

remember that we tend to overestimate the discomfort that a given challenge will bring us. probably your task isn't even that time-consuming, unpleasant and frustrating

be compassionate and and forgive yourself, it's an effective strategy to reduce the negative emotions associated with the task. you are not the first nor the last person to procrastinate, we are all human and we all make mistakes. research has shown that doing so reduces the risk of procastination.

hope you enjoyed this little explanation, here's my sources: https://youtu.be/xTEPNxx0MsA

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You're not always going to be motivated. So you must learn to be disciplined.

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I will succeed. Not immediately. But definitely.

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gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.

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the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

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“The person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged or given an ultimatum.”

— Mandy Hale

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Source: Pinterest

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@lovesdaya

[nostalgia-a-mind-trick]

[nostalgia-a-mind-trick]

i like my body when it's with your body