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(• ʜ • ) cus yeah.

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Untitled | jonaspiontek

Location: Lake Maracaibo, Venezuela

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In that precise moment my eyes opened and as I peered into the window of your soul and glanced inside to see the secret place where only kindred souls are allowed eyes, I felt enveloped in a warm glow that burned down everything broken, everything old and painted a new dawn in the darkened sky of my forever night.

e.v.e. ( Letters to my love)

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recovery

by Denny Bitte

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“The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay. Because I know I’m good for something I just haven’t found it yet.” -Mayday Parade

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“I can’t tell if I’ve reclaimed myself or become too numb to change.”

— Dave Harris, from Patricide

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“You can call yourself a pacifist when you stop beating the shit out of yourself.”

— Katie Higgins, “Hi, Hello, My Name Is…”

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“We understood the many ways a mother’s shame can haunt a daughter’s body.”

— Blythe Baird, from If My Body Could Speak 

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More How To Manage ADHD

“I never remember to take out the trash until my trash can is full, at which point the trash bag is really heavy and the stuff at the bottom has been rotting a while, and it’s awful!”

Small brain: “Try to train yourself to take out the trash on certain days at certain times.”

Large brain: “Buy a tiny trash can. Now you HAVE to empty it.”

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sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.

“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.

you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.

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Literally me

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I’m getting really tired of this depression bullshit.

I’m really tired of that inner voice telling me I’m not as good as *insert person*; or I’m not worth loving; or I’m not as pretty, skinny, funny, sociable, and/or put together as I should be.

I’m really tired of that hollow aching feeling in my chest. Because when I have depression issues I feel it physically. Like someone carved something out of me.

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due to personal reasons I’ll be in my bedroom making no noise and pretending that I don’t exist