Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by nosce-te-ipsum-luctor-et-em-blog and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
82K
Likes Per Post
17K
Reblog Per Post
65K
Reply Per Post
1
Time Between Posts
12 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
Text
8
Photo
9
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr Inc. has $15.1M in annual revenue.
Text
Divenere
At times I find myself looking from the outside in. Like I'm really starting to wonder who I am from an introspective omnipotent way. That doesn't make nearly as much sense as I'd intended to. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, am I becoming myself? Einaudi captures the intricacy and deepness of my thought. I find myself listening to it and falling infinitely into myself. I am many things, but I am not...simple. I am always a second from unraveling. I always found divenire as a searching composition. One that is encouraging the widening of ones self. Where you are able to finally place yourself cozily into your own mind.
- M.Y.
0 notes
Text
Thinking
People wonder why I unplug sometimes. Why I sit fixated at the wall for long periods of time unmoving. It’s because I’m able to now. For a little bit, I’m able to forget deadlines and homework and just think about myself among other things concerning me. Sometimes I’d rather have the stress of school. I can’t possibly understand myself anymore than I already do. I try anyway and that’s why I’m staring because I’m thinking about me, I’m thinking about it, and thinking will it be? Am I too hopeful? I’m thinking about my family, will there ever be peace? Will There always have to be something unforgivable? I’m thinking and thinking. At this wall or at the person speaking or at my phone. I’m thinking. Just thinking.
0 notes
Text
It's happening. Again.
I catch myself holding my breath at times. I'm scattered in a million different places where my attention should be. It's been a long long LONG time since I felt like this. I feel like my life is crumbling around me. Like all of it was a fresh painting and it's pouring rain. Everyone and everything is being washed away. I can't escape my own mind and I'm almost always at tears. There is a tornado of sorrow begging to be released from inside and I don't have the courage to release it. I'm not eating. I'm barely breathing. Like a long elastic band I feel stretched to my limit and I'm snapping at unimaginable speed to that place. It's hard not letting myself just go. It starts with a tingling in my left arm right under my thumb and then my right arm starts to have a tingle and shakes. My throat is so tight that I can't speak because it hurts so much. Then I can't breathe. It's worse when I'm not angry because I can feel everything. I don't know why I'm sharing this. I guess I decided it's okay to voice it because I watched "The Perks of Being a wallflower" recently It seemed like writing helped him. It's happening and I don't know what to do about it. I'm losing control and know one can tell. I'm very good at hiding.
-M.Y.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Boulders On My Shoulders
During my stay in Chicago I realized that I missed home. A lot. I had a little dream that I would come home, fall into my Mother's arms and shortly into my own bed. That didn't happen. I found myself home in the cold environment I ran from, only to feel the need to bolt out again. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. Too much, in fact, that I let them see the worst of me. What scares me is if they can't even learn to love that...than who will? I feel like I'm carrying the weight of giants on my shoulders, nothing short of boulders. My mother and I are different, VERY different. We see the world around us differently. My mother is distant, and calculating. I'm instinctive, and I get too close. Most times I find myself numb, void of emotion or indifferent because that is what the situation requires of me. I feel like being myself is being something less than who I 'should' be. I know she means well and I know she always will, but that doesn't change that I will always feel a void somewhere in my heart. I understand her struggle and I will be everything and anything I need to be for her. I just wish that I could feel loved. Feel...something. I can't turn to the one person I need most because...she needs me more.
-M.Y.
0 notes
Text
Awkward naps and heavy tears
This is why I want to travel. I want to travel so I can touch people, make an imprint in their lives. Give them something they need or never had. I love the experience of being human and communicating with people. It makes me feel like my life is worth something. Like I can somehow put a dent in my debt to society. I feel like by being given the opportunity to live everyday I should also give someone something to live for... -M.Y.
0 notes
Text
Sneeze, Blow, & Worry.
I am left with a box of tissues and my midnight worries. Someone save me from myself.
0 notes
Text
Ache
Ah, this is painful. I'm not sure exactly what kind of pain, but I can tell you it's a hollow aching pain. It's dull infinite pain where my heart should be. With every thought it feels like my heartstrings are being strummed. I guess I saw it coming like a light at the end of a tunnel and like many others I followed it, unable to resist. I saw it coming and yet...here I am. Staring at my reflection and realizing how much of myself really isn't mine anymore. That at any given moment I could become emotionally bankrupt. This ache brings me so much joy at times. A second of hope, a fleeting moment of belief, and a feeling of belonging. I want to live blissfully ignorant in my own mind. Continue to be an unturned stone. It's comfortable that way, you know, no reason to feel the way I do or fret over my imperfections. The other part of me knows...I couldn't bear to live without it.
- M.Y.
0 notes
