nonoparkersaurus

[nonoparkersaurus]

Day 2 - Working from home with Parker

Parker capitalized on some excellent networking opportunities today.

After a harrowing gator attack early this morning, he informed our CCO via staccato shout about predators and how they eat meat and toys.

During a training with IT, he shyly punched me in the kidneys then dramatically fell on the floor. The IT guy knew instinctively my kidneys of steel must have done some real damage to the poor boy. I hope I’m not reported to HR for that.

After lunch, while reviewing revenue calculations with Mike from accounting, Parker smoothly explained how Pachycephalosaurus would bang heads. Knowing Mike is a visual learner, Parker head butted me to demonstrate.

I think he’s getting noticed at my company. Wine, anyone?

[nonoparkersaurus]

Day 3 - Working from home with Parker

Today I asked my husband to take a vacation day to care for Parker. I had 3 hours of back-to-back meetings in the afternoon, and there is no way to do be productive with the equivalent of a caffeinated lemur bouncing around my office. No matter how I thwart the AAP’s screen time recommendations, the moment Parker hears another person’s voice, he KNOWS it's on him to ensure we stay on task. Not even Wally Kazam can compete.

The morning started uneventfully. Parker slept until 9am (must be nice), had eggs made for his breakfast, and played with his dad. I hope he doesn’t get used to this nonsense.

I did hear him inquire as to whether I was in my office (I locked the door because I’m no dummy). Knowing I��d be missing a full day of engaging toddler activities like nose picking and playing “find the soiled pull-up before the dogs do”, Parker courteously scream-narrated an episode of Wild Kratts for me through the door. I do love to learn about...whatever he said. I do not know what the animal of the day was, but I did learn that his enunciation is NOT enhanced when his mouth is pressed to the glass door. Also, that glass holds the snot and drool marks shaped like nostrils surprisingly well. So not a total loss for my education.

The hubs really engaged with Parker today. They did some laundry together, which is great because I’m running out of clean work jammies. I could also hear some intense conversations about the quality of Parker’s kangaroo imitation. See the attached video if you would like to weigh in on Parker’s skills!

[nonoparkersaurus]

Day 1 - Working from home with Parker

During a morning meeting with my company’s Marketing team, Parker ran into my office, Porky Pig style, to yell that he peed in the bathroom. I would have been proud, but he peed everywhere except in the toilet. 

For my afternoon meeting with our executives (CEO, COO, CCO, CTO), Parker ran into the office to yell at me that he had to poop. I was prepared for chaos this time with my boss running the meeting (per my request) and had my mic muted. I was able to step away and avert the poop crisis with minimal embarrassment. Parker, unhappy with this smooth meeting experience, stalked me until I had to speak. At the most opportune moment (for him), he ran back in to tell his audience all about the animals he’d recently seen. For the finale, he climbed me like a spider monkey and snatched everything his chubby arms could reach on my desk. 

I’m lucky to have the most understanding management team...but I’m not sure how many days like this I’ll survive. 

Send help! Or wine!

[nonoparkersaurus]

Parker Fun Fact: Parker's favorite animal is a pachycephalosaurs (pack-ee-sefa-la-saurus). These dinosaurs were known for their thick bony skull, and they used it for extreme head-butting competitions. When your kid's favorite animal is a dog, you can expect to hear some barking. When your kid's favorite animal is a pachycephalosaurs, you can expect a concussion.

Photo from https://www.dkfindout.com/.../dinosaurs/pachycephalosaurus/

[nonoparkersaurus]

I decided to start documenting my life with a toddler, for my own therapy and entertainment. I’m sure someday I’ll look back and laugh. Lots of parents blog, but I’m not blogging about just any toddler. 

I have a PARKER, aka Parkersaurus, aka The Parkinator. 

Read my stories, when you’re at your wits end, and pump yourself up with the knowledge that you’re not a mediocre parent with a child actively trying to take over the world.