nonbinary-disaster

[nonbinary-disaster]

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

[nonbinary-disaster]

this weekend has been fucking stressful

yesterday morning i found myself locked out of my personal insta account, turns out a hacker had taken over. tried to get it back multiple times but unfortunately the hacker had enacted two-factor verification on THEIR phone instead of mine, so i couldn't even reset my own password. Had to send proof of identification to meta TWICE bc the first time they claimed not to recognize my face. Finally got access to the account again today only to realize the hacker had added MY account to THEIR account center on meta, and I couldn't remove it at first bc i needed access to the hacker's made up e-mail. I had already given up by noon and made an all new account.

Eventually i got to delete my account from their meta account center and added it back to mine, then promptly logged out of all devices except mine, reset password, added two factor authentication AND alerts for when an unknown device tries to log in for good measure. Most stressful experience of my fucking life.

Now i don't know what to do with the new account.

[nonbinary-disaster]

[nonbinary-disaster]

it appeals to the tumblr demographic

[nonbinary-disaster]

CEO of Gumroad apparently now works at DOGE, saved up loads of money 'cause he fired everyone and replaced them with AI

abandon GR if you haven't already. fuck capitalism.

@copperbadge @thebibliosphere

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[nonbinary-disaster]

[nonbinary-disaster]

Phantom of the Manor

AKA "The Batfam unintentionally start giving ritual offerings to the Phantom. Danny, who's been mistaken as the Phantom of the Opera, is wondering why his hoodie pockets are full of tomato slices??" prompt idea!

Headcanon that Ghosts become more powerful the more people believe in them, kind of like deities. Danny's never really had to deal with the whole "ritualistic sacrifices to Bloody Mary" or "superstitious prayers against Davey Jones" because Phantom is a Hafta. Danny doesn't need people to believe in him or worship him.

So, he's never gotten a ritual offering before.

Which is why he's absolutely baffled when he shoves his hand into his hoodie pocket to grab his phone and feels something... squishy. And cold. Both Sam and Tucker scream as Danny jolts to his feet with a squeamish shriek. He damn near Goes Ghost as he tries to tear off his hoodie, regardless of the staring mall-walkers. Danny finally manages to fling the hoodie onto their table, scrambling to Sam and Tucker's sides, trying to breath through a panicked: "There'ssomethinginmypocket!!"

Sam carefully pokes around until she finds... squished tomato slices? They're oily and salted like a tomato caprese without the cheese. Which is an interesting choice for a snack. You'd think Danny would at least use a Ziplock bag or something?

("Ancients! Of course, I didn't put them there, Sam!")

Fast-forward a couple of weeks. Danny's going insane because why the hell are there tomatoes literally everywhere? Every couple of days (or hours, depending on the day), he finds different types of tomatoes all over the place. In bed when he wakes up. In his jean pockets at school. Even in the shower, he'll be blindly trying to find the shampoo bottle and come across a handful of grape tomatoes. He can't. Handle. It. Anymore. Danny's going to become the "Tomato Man" at school from how often he randomly pulls out tomatoes from his pockets. Like he needs another reason for Dash to mock him.

The last straw was when Danny was Full Ghost and felt something... itchy in his suit. He knew before he saw it. Danny tentatively pulled the sleeve of his suit open, silently praying that it wasn't what he thought it was, and- yeah. There's V-8 smeared from his goddamn elbow to wrist. He had to fight with tomato juice in his suit for several hours. And that's it; Danny literally can't take it anymore. He goes to Frostbite, begging the Yeti to help him with his Tomato Problem.

Only to be told he's receiving offerings. Which are apparently incredibly sacred and should be appreciated. (It'd be easier to appreciate if it was, like, cash or something. Maybe a Nintendo Switch. Instead, his patrons are worshipping him by offering... tomatoes. Great.)

So, clearly, the only option is to go straight to the source (i.e., his patrons) and tell them to Fucking Stop Giving Me Tomatoes. The next time he feels something weighty in his pocket (gross!), he follows the thready connection of his worshippers through a portal.

And Danny steps out in his full Ghost Regalia (because clearly they're worshipping Phantom, right? So Danny can't exactly show up in ripped jeans and his favorite NASA hoodie). The family sits at a dinner table... which is a little weird, since he'd expected an altar or something. But even weirder is the beady, predatory that look borderline-violent staring at him from everybody at the table. There's an uncomfortable silence more tense than dinners at Vlad's mansion.

Then, Danny carefully scoops out the soupy, baked grape tomatoes from his pocket and dumps them on the table. He doesn't wait for them to question it, just points to the tomatoes and says, "I appreciate the offerings, really, but it's gotta stop. It's gross. I have to wash tomato juice out of my clothes every day. If you're gonna leave an offering, no. More. Tomatoes. Please."

The oldest man seems jolted out of his stupor.

"Excuse me, but could you please explain why you've come to our home?" The man asks cordially. (As if Danny couldn't see him carefully gripping his steak knife like a throwing dart. And that's just rude, honestly. Danny was invited.)

"Uh, I'm Phantom? You literally give me offerings every day. Again, I appreciate it, I never thought I'd have diehard fans, but I don't even really like tomatoes. I mean, they're fine in salsa and stuff, but even I won't eat pocket-tomatoes."

"I believe there may be a misunderstanding. We don't worship a deity named Phantom nor have we left any offerings." The oldest says. He seems like he's about to continue when one of the black-haired adults interrupts him with a nervous, "Uh, B? About that..."

So. Yeah. It turns out Dick Grayson and Jason Todd forced the family to watch Phantom of the Opera, which spawned the joke of offering any food they don't like (i.e., tomatoes) to "the Phantom" (i.e., their trashcan). More than half the family doesn't like tomatoes and Alfred uses it as a punishment for breaking something, overworking, etc. They'd gotten pretty sneaky about scraping their leftovers into the bin but had gotten into a habit of saying "this one's for the Phantom, a treat for the Phantom," or something incredibly stupid like that.

Danny's just... a little relieved, honestly? Because he's literally fifteen and wouldn't really know what to do with followers if he had them. Plus, now he doesn't have to worry about waking up with tomatoes in his bed or making excuses for all his tomato-hoarding while at school. (Which was not necessarily the right thing to mention to Bruce "Serial Adopter" Wayne. Practically the whole table turned to stare at Bruce when Danny mentioned he's apparently an underage deity, waiting for Bruce to sweep in with a well-executed, "Well, it's getting late. Why don't you stay the night?" Because Bruce apparently can't help himself from collecting another black-haired, blue-eyed kid.)

[nonbinary-disaster]

Justice League hotline DPxDC

Jazz paused in her studying and turned her attention to the news she had idelly playing for background noise. She had gotten into the habit ever since Phantom and her parent’s ghost fighting started becoming a regular part of the local broadcast. Though it tore another piece of her heart out every time she saw them shoot phantom and threaten to destroy him molecule by molecule. Now that she knew Phantom was Danny she wondered how they didn’t see.

But that wasn’t what caught her attention today. Instead it was the group of super heroes that had stopped that alien invasion last month. And hadn’t that been interesting. She had been hearing rumors and conspiracies for years about vigilantes fighting crime in other cities around the world, but the video footage from the thwarted invasion was the first time anyone had really seen any of them. Well except for Superman, but he had always been really open about helping people. The fighting had been so heavy the heroes hadn’t the luxury of stealth. And now the eight oddly dressed people were on TV announcing they were forming a group to better help protect the earth’s people.

They had just finished setting up their base and have made a telephone hotline people could call and report any suspected activity of supervillains or mad scientist. The tv then showed several examples from Gotham and Metropolis’ more notable criminals.

As Jazz watched the video montage of heroes taking down different rogues a knot started to form in her stomach at how familiar it all looked. Then suddenly the local news cut the national broadcast to show yet another fight between Phantom and one of the ghosts, with her parents catching up. Shooting and shouting at both the glowing specters. A shot aimed at phantom was dodged and hit the other ghost instead. Danny was quick to suck it into the thermos and flee. The local reporter couldn’t keep up but knew the event was over with how fast Phantom flew away.

The broadcast changed back to national news. At the bottom of the screen the Justice league hotline number was still displayed. Jazz hesitates a moment wondering if this was really the right thing to do, but ultimately begins to dial anyway.

“Hello, Justice League? I think my parents may be mad scientist.”

[nonbinary-disaster]

[nonbinary-disaster]

i actually love seeing vids from like british zoos that have coyotes cause i'm like hey little buddy, i saw you outside my house last night what are you doing in the place for fancy animals. and then i remember that coyotes and bobcats and raccoons and mountain lions are americas-exclusives

[nonbinary-disaster]

#228 - #229. While male Houndoom are solitary, females often make pacts with herding pokémon, offering protection from other hunters. In trade, they choose a member of the herd to feast on when hungry and safety for their pups.

Sponsored by @freewingedwolf

[nonbinary-disaster]

🖤💜 Happy international asexuality day! 🖤💜🐀

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity 🖤💜

[nonbinary-disaster]

[nonbinary-disaster]

A random kid pulls out the Marvel cover and says "do you have games on your phone?" And Caps thinks for a moment and sighs

Marvel: My phone is really, really old, it doesn't have many games on it, but it does have this one about a snake eating apples or something…

And they pull out a phone out of nowhere. It's an old, used Nokia that's all messed up

Marvel: Do you want to play this? Is that okay?

Kid: Yes!!

And Batman is having a meltdown because not only does Marvel HAVE A PHONE, but he's letting a random kid use it to play THE SNAKE GAME

He's SO close to asking Damian to play too so he can use this opportunity to pick Marvel's number or maybe even find out his identity

Little does he know that the real phone Marvel uses for his personal stuff is a flip-flop that barely works anymore (Mr. Morris gives it to him, they're all used but they work and Billy loves them)

[nonbinary-disaster]

Starting a compilation

[nonbinary-disaster]

still sometimes think about how when my apartment got raided by cops back in 2021 i had a massive neon sign on the wall of my living room that just said "crime"