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Batfam and Danny, Part 9

At the Justice League Watchtower.

Diana: Good morning everyone and thank you for coming to this pronto meeting. I known we all have busy schedules so I'll make this quick. Bruce, Clark, and I have been investigating an operation by Lex Luthor. He has been moving round large amounts of radioactive material to a secret lab in the Sahara Desert, we currently do not know what he is planning but last night the radioactivity around the base spiked. We believe that there was some leak of the radioactive materials and we need a plan to contain it.

J'ohn: Are there any civilians in the region?

Clark: No, the lab is far out into the desert. The closest town is a small village with a population of about 1000 people an hour and a half away.

Hal: I could but up a temporary shield around the lab and try to contain the radiation as much as possible.

Bruce: That would be a good start.

Arthur: This is concerning, how can I help?

Diana: There is another shipment currently on a Lexcorp boat heading towards a port in Algiers we need you to stop it.

Bruce: Oliver, you will help Arthur take control of the ship.

Oliver: Got it.

Diana: Barry, while we believe the town and its residents will be safe, we'd like to keep you on stand by just in case.

Barry: Yes ma'am!

Diana: That's all from us. Now that we are together we should start making a solid plan, we start this operation 10pm, local time in Algeria. That gives us 8 hours to prepare. Any questions?

Oliver: Just one question, who's Bruce's new kid?

Everyone turned to look at Danny.

Danny: Hi!

Bruce: This is Danny, alias Phantom, he's Jason's kid... and my grandson.

Barry (laughing): Congratulations Bruce, you're a thirty-four-year-old grandfather.

Arthur: Is he helping us with the operation?

Diana: Yes, Danny is half-ghost and immune to radiation, he'll be helpful if the radiation levels are higher than we expect.

J'onn: You have a quite mind young one.

Danny: If I let you read my thoughts there's a fifty-fifty chance your brain may get scrambled.

J'onn: I see...

Billy: I'm here! Sorry I'm late, just had to finish something before I could leave- Billy looked around the room till he saw Danny. He jumped back and covered his ears.

Clark: You ok there Billy?

Billy: Who is that kid?

Danny: I'm Bruce's grandson.

Billy: ...

Clark: Why?

J'ohn: The gods in Billy's mind all just screamed bloody murder and told him that under no circumstances, should he make Danny mad.

Everyone looked at Danny but before anyone could ask question Constantine walked in.

Constantine: You known if you're going to call a random meeting at least give us more than 3 hours to get ready- Constantine froze when he saw Danny. Shit...

Danny (grinning): Constantine!

Bruce: You two know each other?

Danny: Yes, he's the fool that sold his sold his soul to a hundred separate demons who are all now petition me to decide who actually owns his soul.

Constantine: ...

Hal: Why would they petition you?

Danny: I'm their king.

JL: What!?

Danny: And another thing Constantine, come over here. A green light encircled Constantine throwing him across the room, placing down in a chair next to Danny. You didn't pay your taxes for the last tax season.

Constantine: I- your majesty, I'm not a citizen of the Infinite Realms.

Danny: Actually you are! Danny summoned a scroll. According to section 8, subsection 45, clause B of the Infinite Realms Citizenship and Nationality Status Governing Deaths, Resurrections, and All Other Avoidances of Death Act, also known as the IRCNSGDRAOADA, due to your soul being more than 80% owned by citizens of the Infinite Realms, you too are a citizen of the Infinite Realms, and thus have to pay taxes.

Constantine: I-

Danny: You owe the Crown, aka me, $25,000.

Constantine (nervous): Would your majesty be so kind as to wave my taxes for this year, given I did not know I had to pay?

Danny: I'll give you... 120 days to come up with the money, if not I'll send the tax collectors after you.

Constantine (terrified): You- you're too kind your majesty. Constantine picked up a folder from the table. I'll just read the report... I- got to go. Constantine left the room.

Bruce (tired): Danny...

Danny: I was joking, I'll wave the his missing taxes.

Hal: Why is he so scared of tax collectors?

Danny: The tax collectors in the Infinite Realms are not just nerds with suitcases, they are nerds with suitcases that also carry paintball guns.

J'onn: Paintball guns?

Danny: The paint will never come off till you pay your taxes.

Berry: That sounds so fun!

Arthur: I'm happy to have another king on the team. Finally I have some to talk to about the duties of ruling.

Danny: Tell me about it, for some reason, people can't just do as their told.

Arthur (crying): You understand me my pain.

Clark: Where does your family find these children?

Bruce: We don't find them, they find us!

Diana: As fun as this whole conversation is we do need to prepare for the mission. Let's get to work.

JL: Yes ma'am!

(Master Post)

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Batfam and Danny, Part 7

It was a nice sunny day in Gotham, Alfred had set up a family picnic in the gardens of the manor. For the most part it was peaceful, Dick, Jason, and Tim had only gotten into five distinct arguments/fights in the last hour, Cass and Barbara were meditating under a tree, Steph was suntanning, Duke was enjoying the food Alfred made, Damian was giving Danny another lesson on swordsmanship.

As for Bruce, he was happy seeing his family get along and getting a chance to relax and have fun. He quietly wished that this day could continue without any unexpected surprises.

A green portal opened above them and a white and green blur came out of it and pounced on Danny. Danny stumbled to the floor with a white-haired, green-eyes girl on top of him.

Danny: Ellie!

Ellie: Danny!

They got up and hugged.

Ellie: I've missed you!

Danny: I've missed you too.

They got up.

Ellie: So this is your new family?

Danny looked around to see the rest of the batfam ready to fight.

Ellie: Jumpy aren't they?

Danny: Yeah they are. He looked at Ellie. Ellie if you don't mind can you detransforms? We're currently just together as civilians.

Ellie: Sure thing. Ellie detransformed.

Danny: Everyone this is Ellie, my clone/little sister. Ellie this is my family.

The Bats looked at Danny and Ellie back and forth.

Ellie: You didn't tell them about me did you?

Danny: I could have sworn that I did.

Jason: No Danny you did not!

Danny: Ellie this is my dad Jason.

Ellie (running up to Jason, giving him a hug): Hi! Danny's told me so much about you in his letters!

Jason: Hi, good to meet you too. Jason looked down at her. So... you're a clone?

Ellie: Yeah, I was created by Vlad back when he was still evil. We're all chill now.

Jason (looking at Danny): Kid, how could you not mention you have a sister?

Ellie: Well he doesn't have A sister.

Jason: Danny!?

Danny: I have another sister, an older one, her name is Jazz, she's 19 and lives in Metropolis. I sometimes fly over there to visit her.

Jason: Kid!

Danny: Sorry, Jazz doesn't want to be involved with this superhero stuff while she's in college unless she really needs to, and Ellie lives in the Infinite Realms full-time.

Jason: ...I can't even be mad, this is exactly the kind of thing I would pull.

Ellie: You're family is weird.

Danny: And I love them all the same.

Alfred: Miss Ellie would you like to join our picnic?

Ellie: Oh I wouldn't want to intrude.

Damian: You came out of a portal, and attacked my nephew and pupil, disrupting our lesson, you have intruded.

Ellie: Damian I presume?

Damian: Indeed.

Ellie (choosing chaos): Danny also writes about you, you're his favorite uncle.

Dick and Tim: WHAT!?

Damian: I am?

Ellie: Yes, he loves going on patrol with you and your swordsmanship lessons.

Damian: ...You are welcomed to stay as long as you like, niece.

Ellie: Thank you.

Ellie walked towards the picnic table and started eating some strawberries. Meanwhile Dick and Tim approached Danny.

Dick and Tim: Explain yourself!

Danny: She's lying I don't have a favorite! [Internally: Ellie's not wrong that Damian's my favorite, but I've never written that down!]

Dick: Good, because we all know I'm your favorite.

Tim: In your dreams Richard, I am.

Dick: No you're not Timothy.

Tim: Yes I am.

Dick: No you're not!

Dick rushed towards Tim and the two started fighting.

Damian: Let's continue our lesson Danny, we've wasted valuable time, we don't need to watch does two fight it out for the sixth time in the last hour.

Danny: Yes sir!

Alfred: Master Duke, thank you for not losing your composure.

Duke: Too busy eating right now to care.

Bruce (on the brink of tears): Why does the universe hate me? Why can't we have one normal day?

(Master Post)

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1. He does in fact wear clothes patched together! I headcanoned this but was NOT expecting it to actually show up officially. Looks like three suits to make one.

2. That is in fact a knee brace

3. They kept his hair long! It’s combed back now in a long braid behind his back

4. Looks like he’ll be an NPC we’ll be able to chat with often if this is where our player will stay.

5. Looks like he has some relation to Zygarde based on the bow tie

All around so very happy to see him!! Can’t wait to chat, I hope we’ll get to know him more. Being a key character to visit means I can get a handle on his personality

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Sweet war

The Justice League was no stranger to summoning powerful entities, but as the glowing green portal ripped through the air in the Watchtower, there was an unspoken tension among them. They had expected a dark and ominous figure. Instead, a teenager with stark white hair, glowing green eyes, and regal black-and-green robes with a shimmering, ethereal crown atop his head floated before them.

Danny Phantom, the Ghost King, had arrived.

The moment he set foot—or rather, floated—on the Watchtower’s floor, he held out a gloved hand, his expression neutral but expectant.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” he said. “I assume you called me for something important. Where’s my offering?”

John Constantine, ever the opportunist, smirked and stepped forward. With an exaggerated flourish, he reached into his coat and pulled out a cigarette before dramatically crushing it between his fingers. Then, placing a hand over his chest, he said, “How ‘bout my soul, mate?”

Danny turned to him, eyes narrowing slightly before his lips curled in distaste. “Ew. No one wants your broken, old soul, Constantine.”

The League collectively inhaled sharply. Superman coughed to cover a chuckle. Batman’s lips twitched ever so slightly. Zatanna stifled a snicker behind her gloved hand. Constantine, looking slightly offended, scoffed and took a drag of a new cigarette. “Well, can’t blame a bloke for tryin’.”

Wonder Woman, arms crossed, took a step forward. “Then tell us, Ghost King, what is it that you desire?”

Danny crossed his arms, looking at them all appraisingly. Then, with a small smirk, he said, “Honestly? I just want some good homemade sweets. Best you can find.”

Silence stretched between them as the request sank in. Then—

“I know just the thing,” Superman said immediately, a fond smile spreading across his face as he thought of Ma Kent’s famous homemade pies.

Batman hummed. “Alfred’s cookies.” His tone was decisive, as if it were an undeniable fact that they were superior.

Superman’s gaze sharpened. “You think your butler’s cookies can top my mom’s pies?”

Batman turned his head just enough to meet Superman’s challenge. “Yes.”

Danny, watching this unfold, raised a brow. “Wait—”

Flash grinned and clapped his hands together. “Oh-ho! This just got interesting.”

Wonder Woman smirked. “A contest of sweets, then?”

And just like that, the battle lines were drawn.

Superman wasted no time contacting his mother, explaining the situation with excitement in his voice. Meanwhile, Batman sent an encrypted message to Alfred, who replied with a simple: Understood. Commencing preparations.

Danny, who had just wanted some cookies or pie, now found himself at the center of an intergalactic baking war.

“Uh,” he started, watching as Superman and Batman prepared to bring their respective champions into the fray. “…This isn’t what I expected, but I’m not complaining.”

Constantine clapped him on the back. “Buckle up, kid. You just started the Bake-Off of the Century.”

And so, the great Bake War between Ma Kent and Alfred Pennyworth commenced, all for the favor of one very amused Ghost King.

Two days later, the Watchtower kitchen was in utter chaos.

Flash had somehow been appointed the official taste tester and was already on his fifth plate, buzzing with sugar-induced energy. Green Lantern had made a bet on Alfred and was wearing an apron that said Kiss the Cook, despite not actually doing any cooking.

Martian Manhunter was curiously sniffing a pecan pie, while Wonder Woman was critiquing Superman’s rolling technique. "Kal, you are treating that dough as if you were forging a sword. Relax. Let it breathe."

Batman, meanwhile, had an array of meticulously measured ingredients lined up in front of him. Alfred had given him explicit instructions, and Batman followed them with the precision of a man planning a high-stakes infiltration.

Danny was sprawled across a floating chair conjured from his own ectoplasmic energy, munching on a cookie from an early batch. “You guys do realize I could just declare both the winners, right?”

Superman shot him a look. “That’s not how this works.”

Batman nodded gravely. “There must be a victor.”

Danny snickered. "You guys are way too into this."

Constantine lit a cigarette and leaned against the counter, watching the madness unfold. “This might be the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

Alfred and Ma Kent, meanwhile, were exchanging polite but intense glances, silently acknowledging each other as true culinary warriors.

The Ghost King had spoken. The battle for baked good supremacy would rage on.

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Joker Hates Teenagers

The cold metal chair creaked as Danny shifted, his hands bound behind him with an overcomplicated array of ropes, chains, and something that looked suspiciously like a slinky. He let out a slow sigh, blinking lazily at the man pacing before him.

"And so, my dear ghostly guest, you see, it's all about the punchline! The grand finale! The fireworks! The city, watching in horror as I—"

Danny yawned.

Joker stopped mid-monologue, his grin faltering. "Oh, come on! Not even a little bit of fear? A smidgen of existential dread? This is some of my best material!"

Danny glanced around the dimly lit warehouse. "Look, no offense, but I've been kidnapped, like, thirty-six times. This is barely cracking the top twenty."

The Joker huffed. "You kids these days, so desensitized! Back in my day, a death trap meant something! But nooo, here you are, not even flinching at the idea of being broadcast live as I—"

"—as you dramatically kill me, Gotham gasps, Batman arrives last minute, yadda yadda. Seriously, man, get some new material." Danny wiggled his fingers, already phasing through the ropes. "You know, I could just leave."

"What? No, you can't just leave! That ruins the whole—"

Danny stood up, letting the ropes and chains clatter to the floor. "Welp. Good talk, but I think I'm gonna bounce. 0 out of 10, would not recommend this kidnapping."

The Joker blinked, momentarily stunned into silence. Then he lunged, pulling a gun from his coat. "Oh no you don’t, kiddo!"

Danny turned intangible, the bullet harmlessly passing through him. With a lazy wave, he floated towards the ceiling. "Later, clown." And then, he was gone.

Not a minute later, the skylight shattered, and Batman, Nightwing, and Robin dropped down into the warehouse in full dramatic flair.

Joker groaned. "Oh, now you show up? Perfect timing, Batsy! Your little ghost already made me the laughingstock of my own kidnapping!"

Batman’s eyes narrowed. "Where is he?"

Joker threw his hands in the air. "He left! Just phased right through the ropes! Didn’t even pretend to be scared! Do you have any idea how insulting that is?!"

Robin exchanged a glance with Nightwing. "Wait. He escaped before we even got here?"

Nightwing chuckled. "I kinda like this kid."

Batman scowled, already pulling out his communicator. "Phantom. Report."

On the other end, Danny’s voice crackled through. "Oh hey, Bats! No worries, I’m grabbing a burger. Want me to bring you one?"

There was a long pause. Then Batman sighed. "Just get back here."

Joker threw up his hands. "I hate teenagers."

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tumblr is the best bc I can say that Kermit is a butch lesbian and at least one person will agree with me

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gettin full-named and receiving psychic damage

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shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

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Friends, A grassroots movement is calling on all Americans to abstain from shopping with major retailers — including Amazon — tomorrow, February 28, as part of an “economic blackout.” The purpose is to send a clear message: We have the power. We don’t have to accept corporate monopolies. We don’t have to live with corporate money corrupting our politics. We don’t have to accept more tax cuts for billionaires. We don’t have to pay more of our hard-earned cash to Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg or the other billionaire oligarchs. We don’t have to reward corporations that have abandoned their DEI policies to align themselves with Trump’s racist, homophobic, misogynistic agenda. We have choices. Most Americans are struggling to keep up. Most live from paycheck to paycheck. Most can barely afford housing costs, food prices, and pharmaceuticals — kept high by monopolies, and fueled by private equity. If politicians won’t hear the voices of average Americans who are being shafted by corporate America, we have to deliver our message to corporate America directly. From midnight tonight to midnight Friday night, please: No Amazon, no Walmart, no Best Buy, no Target, no Disney, no Google, no Facebook. Don’t spend on fast food, major retailers, or gas. Avoid using credit or debit cards to make nonessential purchases. Buy essentials such as medicine, food, and emergency supplies, of course, but make those purchases at small, local businesses. Consider this a test run. If lots of people participate, I’m sure a longer one will be organized. (Tomorrow’s economic blackout is an initiative of The People’s Union USA, which describes itself as a “grassroots movement dedicated to economic resistance, government accountability, and corporate reform.”)' I hope you'll join. What do you think?

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the batkids all have a running joke with non-family members and mission partners where they stumble across something ridiculous and just casually throw out a “oh yeah Batman and I ran into this once” or a “B taught me how to do that actually” despite literally never having done/seen the thing before.

it started out as a joke and then it became a way to keep civilians and fellow heroes from panicking when things go sideways with an audience.

massive glowing alien that sucks out your soul? Batman fought one a few years back. defusing a nuclear bomb? B had them drilling on that once, actually. seance to rescue a civilian girl from a haunted sewer? not to fear, Batman had them do a whole unit on rescue spellwork actually

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sleepy boy

Danny is tired but happy he told his parents about him being Phantom and they took it surprisingly well. Sure they were sad but accepted what happened. It was all to good to be true so Danny remained on his guard around his parents.

But as time passed nothing happend and his parents became even more supportive of him. After finding out about Danny and how he became a halfa it was easy for the to figure out Vlad after an epic beat down of one Vladimer Masters The Fenton parents forced vlad to use his influence to get rid of the GIW

After all of that Danny finally felt himself relax all the tension left his body and he fell asleep. just a little nap.

At this time, the still unknown king of the infinite realms gained a new power. This is also when Danny begins his sleepwalking adventures.

The first time it happend the Fenton family had no idea what to do Danny had just created a portal in the middle of town and sleep walked right into it and reappeared out of a another portal on top of the school.

The next time it happened, Danny had fallen asleep in Mr. Lancers' class when he suddenly stood up, created a portal, and walked through it while also transforming into his Phantom form. Needless to say, Danny's identity as Phantom was no longer a secret in Amity Park after that.

Danny, of course, has no idea this is even happening. No one has the heart to tell him when he has finally started to relax. The people of Amity Park quickly got used to Danny randomly popping up in places via a portal, so much so that there was a segment called Sleeping Phantom Watch on the news. This was the new normal until one day Danny Portals away, and no one has any idea where he is.

The bat fam had just sat down for dinner when a lazerus green portal appeared in the dining room. Everyone freezes, watching the portal, when a white-haired teen walks out.

Everyone is immediately on their feet, ready for battle,e yelling at the white-haired boy as the portal closes behind him

"what are you doing here" Bruse growls using his Batman voice the boy doesn't respond just stands in place

Damian rushes towards the boy and presses his sword to the intruder's neck. "he asked you a question." still no response

Soon, the boy was surrounded, and they got ready to attack when the white-haired teen let out a loud snore. "Wait, is he..." Tim gets closer to look at the boy and waves a hand in front of the boy's face, who snorts. "He's sleep"

"What, no way " Dick leans forward to see for himself just as the white-haired boy starts walking again and walks straight through Dicks body as if he wasn't even there Panic erupts as Dick pats his body down, shivering "S..so cold"

The boy keeps walking, and they can't grasp him. Then another portal shows up in front of the boy, who walks through it, and it closes instantly after him.

After that, the Bat fam kept seeing the sleep-waking portaling teen all over Gotham.

During one of his sessions, he interrupted the joker who had kidnapped Jason and Damian, but this time, he wasn't alone. Behind him was a tiny green puppy who was pulling on his pant leg, trying to drag the boy back through the portal when it closed, leaving the boy and dog.

The dog seems to cover his snout in frustration, and honestly, Jason and Damian could understand. But of course, Joker had to ruin the mood.

"Well, well, what have we here?" He grins, getting into the boys's faces. "An uninvited guest, how I hate party crashers. How about I introduce you to my friend Pain. Tell me what hurts more. I never get a straight answer." Joker cackles and swings a crowbar at the boy's head

Jason and Damian yell, hoping to wake the boy up as the weapon comes down. A loud growl makes the joker pause before he could land a hit and he looks down to see the puppy growling fiercly at him standing in front of the boy. "Out of the way, mutt!!" Joker yells, kicking at the dog

A move he would quickly regret as the dog grew and grew and grew until it was the size of a large Bear with teeth bigger and longer than jokers arms which was proven as the dog proceeded to tear said arm and crowbar off jokers body

The clown screams in horror as the once tiny harmless looking puppy procedes to tear his limbs off. Soon the Joker was nothing but a head with a body. The dog was about to finish off the joker and bite his head off when the boy starts walking towards another portal.

The dog shrinks and chases after the boy before the portal closes.

Jason and Damian looked down at the crying limbless joker, and Jason burst out laughing, "That was the best thing I had ever seen in my life."

From then on, every time the mysterious sleepwalking boy appeared in Gotham, Jason was there with Damian, offering the dog treats and pets and helping the poor pup take care of his sleeping boy.

As for the rest of Gotham, they, like the Amity parkers, had become accustomed to the boy and his dog magically appearing in random places. No one bothered them, and after what happened to the Joker, none of the other Gotham rouges would even dare touch him if he showed up near them with the dog.

And if the dog wasn't there, well, the giant werewolf and the yeti were enough of a deterrent.

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I think we need one of those popular read-along blogs to tackle The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in the same way that's been done for Dracula and Moby-Dick. The number of folks around here who appear to be under the impression that reading a queer subtext into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a subversion rather than being straightforwardly material to the plot is frankly embarrassing, and I'm assuming this is because nobody's actually read the damn thing.

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Sometimes, I wish hazmat au was canon, I would be so feral about the astronaut connection.

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I had a scientific theory I needed to sketch out.

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Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)

Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!

????(cass): No.

Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!

????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.

Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!

????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?

Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!

????(cass): oh?

Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?

????(cass): Batman.

Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!

*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?

????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?

Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?

????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?

Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.

Cass: Danny very cute.

Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?

Batman: Follow. Them.

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"Your days of villainy end here," Wonder Woman declares, leveling her sword at Phantom.

She's heard from the locals that, while Phantom favors the form of a young boy, he is far older than even she. There are records going back centuries of his existence.

Phantom, however, looks confused.

"Villain....? Oh! Okay, you want to fight Dan! Yeah, lemme just go call him real quick."

"...Who?" Wonder Woman asks, now sharing the confusion.

But Phantom already has a phone out and is calling someone, promising that it won't be but a moment.

"Hey, so...yeah, I know you don't wanna talk to me but...no but someone wants to fight you...gimme a second to specify and I'll....Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman wants to 1v1 you."

Phantom holds the phone away from his ear as what can only be described as a triumphant war cry almost breaks the speaker.

Then it's just a dial tone.

Phantom smiles at her.

"Okay, he'll be here in like, four-"

"Fight me!" Another ghosts interrupts, landing in front of Phantom.

He's huge; bigger than Superman, with fire-like white hair and excited red eyes.

He looks very, very ecstatic for the opportunity to fight her.

And, well...Diana does love a good fight.

Very well!

She will fight this 'Dan' instead!