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I know you’re not reading this

Earlier this week, I texted a couple of my friends asking if they were free one particular night.

“We’re going to ___’s house tonight. Sorry.”

AKA a place where I am not welcome. Because of something stupid I did nearly six years ago. When I’m reminded of it like that, in my face like.. all my friends are hanging out tonight but with this one family that hates me so I’m left out... I go into a downward spiral and it’s all I can think about for at least a few days. My brain floods up with thoughts like.. How can I fix this? How can I make it right?

I’m not a bad person. I swear I’m not. I made an awful mistake one time. One stupid night. It’s indefensible and by far my biggest regret.

It bothers me that they’re totally fine with the other person who participated in the same mistake when in reality he was the main offender in this situation. And what bothers me, even more, is that he threw me under the bus when he explained to his then-girlfriend and her brother--our mutual friend--that he cheated on her.

“It was her idea.” “She got me drunk.” “She begged me to stay.”

Literally, none of that is true. Not even slightly. But that’s all they have to go on, so they think it is. Fuck my side of the story. It’s always the girl’s fault, I guess. Sluts. I guess her brother and I were never really friends. I’m kind of ok with that, to be honest, but I hate that I hurt her.

Yeah, I’m still friends with the other guy, the cheater. He’s grown up a lot in those six years. He came up to me about a year after with the realization of how horribly he had treated me, his “best friend,” in the past (with this and other asshole things he had done) and that he was so sorry. It was the most sincere I had ever seen him, and he hasn’t done anything like that to me or anyone else since, so I mostly forgive him. I just wish he would set the record straight. It might not mean anything at all, given the end result is the same, but at least then I would know that they know the truth. I would have closure. Perhaps closure I don’t deserve.

Regardless, I’m not innocent. I fucked up badly. I will never not be sorry for what I did on December 30th, 2011. I will never not regret my actions (and lack thereof) from that night. I will never go a day where I don’t think about it, even for a second.

I know you’re not reading this, but please believe me: I’m so so so fucking sorry that I hurt you.

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ugh

I’m having one of those days where I can’t get out of my own head no matter how hard I try to escape. It’s crippling.

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False Negative

I’m about to whine about something that only privileged millennials whine about. I realize this, but I can’t help myself.

There’s something really shitty about having a birthday in this day an age.

As much as I appreciate all the people - many who I’m close with, many who I never speak to - who wished me a happy birthday yesterday, and I really really do...

I can’t help but be sad about the few important people in my life who didn’t. And by that, I mean people who know my birthday without Facebook reminding them.

Sorry I’m not worth the five seconds it takes to send a text message.

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My hero ❤️🤘🏻

Dear Daughter... never lose yourself

The question I get asked the most is, “What is it like being a woman in a male dominated industry?”. But this question and subject is has faded to a sheer gray and has become almost irrelevant if you are actually paying attention. The tables are shifting, and I no longer am the only girl working on tour or on a video shoot set, or performing at a festival etc. Whether you are a girl in music or carving your own path anywhere in this world …There’s definitely a revolution rumbling underground, and the dawn of a new evolution of thinking. Personally, I’ve always taken the side of talent, not gender. Because in the bottom line in my world is that no matter boy or girl, if you can’t bring it every night no ones gonna buy a ticket to your show. When we discuss subjects like gender equality, we are not only imploring people to view and treat Females equal to Men, we are fighting to open up people’s minds to the idea that Human is Human. No matter the gender, sexual preference, race, age, size etc. And currently, we more than ever have a responsibility to encourage our young men and women to be pro human, to love one another, to love who they are, and to follow even their craziest of dreams. But There are people right now in this world breeding and spreading hate like a cancer. We must be conscious that even the smallest breath of hatred or the tiniest whisper of kindness sparks an idea. Be wary of which one you choose. I choose kindness. I usually stay away from talking about things like religion and politics because in the spirit of equal rights… every one has the right to believe, love and live how they want to. But we are currently in a state of emergency and it’s no longer about the “right” to believe… its about “right and wrong”. So I’m taking a cue from John Lennon who said, “Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.” And here’s my truth. 1. I cannot as a strong women who respects herself and her body, ever vote for Trump. 2. I cannot as a compassionate human who chooses love over hate ever vote for Trump. 3. And I cannot as ‘one of the boys’ who wants a Real Man role model for our American boys to look up to Ever vote for trump. And I do not care what anyone may think of me for this statement.

Because If I can spread just a little bit of love and logic in its simplest form by saying this… it’s worth it. I feel as if I have a responsibility in my current position as a musician, to pass on the love, the guts and the defiance of my Rock n Roll predecessors to whoever will listen, and even some who won’t. The Beatles were ahead of their time defying the US segregation laws in the 1960s at their Gator Bowl gig stating, “We play shows for people… not just one group of or another.”- John Lennon, George Harrison, Paul McCartney and Ringo. “Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King Jr. “It’s a moment in time, you will never remember all the faces you’ve met or the places you’ve visited in this life, but the people you’ve touched will remember you for the rest of their lives, so you must make it Good for every single one of them!”-Ronnie James Dio So, My Dear Daughters and Sons, you have the power to change this world for the better. Stand up for what you believe in, no matter what the outcome, respect yourself and spread the Love, Guts and Rock n Roll!

And through it all, year after year Stand or Fall I will be right here for you.

Love, Lzzy Hale

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This may be my favorite ig post ever ❤️☮️🤘#Repost @officiallzzyhale ・・・ I will never apologize for being pro human and pro unity and I will never follow anyone who builds their empire on racism, sexism, intolerance and hate. I am a musician, and music knows no age, sex, color, gender or species for that matter ... it is a universal language, and therefore I will stand by its gospel. Remember ignorance usually speaks the loudest, empty vessels booming with arrogance. But we must listen for the soft, modest and well spoken, truth.

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The Drama in my Head

I keep imagining some crazy climactic moment occurring in my life that I know will never occur. Not only that, but they would involve the worst things happening to the people I care about most.

Primarily, it involve Mike and I getting together for good. 

I feel so awful writing that. I feel even worse thinking it on a semi-regular basis. I keep having visions  of myself at the bar with our friends wallowing in whatever version of self-pity I’ve come up with this time. Then suddenly a song I haven’t decided on yet crescendos as he surprisingly walks in, strides towards me and kisses me a la Ted and Robin’s first real kiss, forgetting who else is there and seeing this.

He then declares his love for me and claims he’s been in love with me since we met. I tell him I love him too and the vision ends.

How fucking horrible.

Even worse, I had a new one today. I envisioned Mike coming to my house distraught because he broke up with his fiancé because she cheated on him with his best friend (and I am friends with both of them). 

HOW FUCKED UP IS THIS?

(Note: I say “visions” because it’s not dream I have when I sleep per se.. It’s what I picture during the day at any given moment based solely on feelings)

In the meantime, he’s been messaging me more often recently, which likely means absolutely nothing. But my dumbass anxious brain keeps reading into it. I keep feeling the need to message him back immediately and entertain him and prove to him that I’m the best girl for him.

I guess the only thing I can say is that I’m really struggling right now and I had to get this out of my head somehow. Judge me all you want, the 2 people who might read this. I’m working on it. We’re all just trying our best, right? I’ll get past this because by no means am I going to hurt my boyfriend. Ever. Because I love him. 

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#describeyourselfin3fictionalcharacters #robinsherbatsky #monicageller #elliotreid

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When you so desperately want people to stop treating you like trash

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It's been a long time since I've seen you with water instead of ice. #woodloch #laketeedyuskung #iwishwecouldstayhereforever (at Woodloch Resort)

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It's a beautiful day for baseball ⚾️💙 #Yankees (at Yankee Stadium)

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The bad part about good memories...

...is that you can't go back and relive them.

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Someone else please caption this because I'm too busy laughing 😂 #buttons #blankie #pocketbeagle #dogsofinstagram

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Today...

I talked to my mom on the phone. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “World Peace.”

😥

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Yup.

My parents are going to think I’m doing drugs when I say, “Going out for a walk”. But I’ll really just be trying to catch pokemon. What a turn of events

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On Wednesday night’s episode of The Nightly Show, host Larry Wilmore delivered a powerful indictment of police violence against black Americans. While the media had been quick to point out Alton Sterling’s criminal record, Wilmore brought up a famous white criminal to show what a true double standard it is.

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Ballpark No. 13 #minneapolis #targetfield #letsgoyankees ⚾️💙 (at Target Field)

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🆘This poor pup is lost in NYC please share and help find him!! #Repost @watsonthepocketbeagle ・・・ SOS I got off leash when the doorman was walking me and I am lost:( I ran towards lincoln center! No one can find me! I am chipped! Please help and call 812-219-4070 and please tell everyone you can!!!!! #lostdog #dogsoftheuws #dogsofnyc