nobodygetsme94

[nobodygetsme94]

[nobodygetsme94]

At what point do you stop caring what your parents think? Mine, especially my mom, puts so much pressure on me. She takes all her frustrations out on me. I get blamed for everything. Being the eldest daughter, I have to be strong for everyone. I have to make sure the house runs smoothly and everyone is taken care of. Everything falls on me because I'm the eldest. Im her support system... but who is supporting me? Who's there to catch me if I fall ? Who's going to pick me back up and just comfort me. This growing pressure just keeps growing. I just keep going and going. There's no stopping to feel sorry for myself. There's no time for that. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. Part of me wanted to go back to school but I can't do that because I have to be here to help pay bills. I have to be working full time to try and save while helping to support a household that is mentally and emotionally draining. All I want is to have enough to buy a house and move out. House prices here are so expensive. My mom's response to me telling her I'm trying to save to move out? "Well, who's going to take care of me? Who's going to help me around the house? No one else does. How are we going to afford to pay all of our bills? You won't be able to help us out.'' What about me and what I want? I'm made to feel guilty and like a horrible person for wanting to live my own life. My childhood was cut short, I had to grow up quick and help run the household. I raised my brother when I should have been out with friends riding bikes or playing at the park. I'm just tired of feeling like a disappointment. I feel like a bird with clipped wings.

[nobodygetsme94]

ⓘ This user just wanna sit in front of the ocean and listen to the waves

[nobodygetsme94]

[nobodygetsme94]

im honestly not sure why as adults we're expected to just drop everything "childish".

Colorful clothing, hair bows/hairties, bracelets that don't cost $100 per charm, big backpacks, carrying a stuffed animal around for comfort, mismatched socks, dangling fun earrings, stickers, participation in anything fun or not made in monotone colors is seen as childish, being a baby, or just not acting your age.

and I understand being "sophisticated", the adult way to be, is all about looking put together but damn it I can sure as hell slay looking like I walked slap out of a monster high catologue, or a harujuku rave scene. I can still pay my bills on time with heart glitter in my eyeshadow. I can order at a bar if I so please with rainbow leg warmers on !! Adults can be adult without the confines and restrictions of being basic, having to be a boring brick, or following the newest trend.

just.

let people be people.

let people enjoy what they want. as long as its not harming you, just let people be themselves without going out of your way to harass them or bully them for things they like.

[nobodygetsme94]

How do you know what the right decision is? Adulting lately just feels so hard. I wish I could just skip to the good part. I just want my own house. I want to be able to have my own personal space and freedom. I want to breathe. The walls of this house feel like they're closing in, and I'm suffocating.

[nobodygetsme94]

Lately everything just feels too much. Nothing I do feels like it's enough. It feels like everyone is just disappointed and let down