noahcarlisles - Tumblr blog

[noahcarlisles]

Nah, drugs aren't for me. Gotta keep my body fresh for game day, y'know? I'll live vivaciously through you.

No! You need a music-acation. It’s a guy who sings like fucking heaven and his beats are so sick they sound ten times better when you’re high, I promise.

[noahcarlisles]

The Weeknd? That's a band, right? Sounds sort of like a radio show.

Getting high in the morning while listening to The Weeknd is probably the best idea ever. Who needs to go out when you have such perfect ambiance right at the comfort of your own house? That curfew means nothing to me.

[noahcarlisles]

I hear baking's a great way to pass time. You might just have enough time to make two of everything, one for you, and one for the handsome guy who suggested it to you.

I guess I’ll have to find other ways to entertain myself since the city’s given me the curfew of a 7 year old.

[noahcarlisles]

Well what fun is that? Take it from someone who feeds of a crowd, it's a lot more exciting than sitting around by yourself, sending death glares at everyone that walks by.

A frigid bitch? I like the sound of that. But, contrary to popular belief, I don’t mind scaring people away. 

[noahcarlisles]

There's no need to be such a frigid bitch Em, they're just trying to make nice with you. You're scaring them all away.

Why do people think it’s okay to touch me when they talk to me? Like, no, don’t touch my arm or give me a hug or do any of that shit. I will deck you in the face because I am certainly not in the fucking mood.

[noahcarlisles]

Congrats on the job, man. If it's in sales, can I have the special Noah - is - an - amazing - guy discount?

I finally landed a good job, and I wasn’t offered any sexual favors this time. Hooray for cute boss with morals.

[noahcarlisles]

I just haven't had time, football and all. Well now I do, with this origami thing and all this damn time after curfew. Be warned, people say I'm a bit of a mess when I'm drunk, apparently I like to try and take my pants off. 

You haven’t watched it?! Properly, I mean. This is a problem. Especially since it’s the best thing to happen to me all week—shut up, I know that’s sad. I will take you up on drinking with me anyway though. 

[noahcarlisles]

Urban Dictionary says Noah is extremely hot with awesome hair and is amazingly good at music. And apparently bad at spelling, which I'm not. So I'd give it an about 80% accuracy rating. 

Urban Dictionary defines Finn as a sex god and I think that gives me the right to blow off homework for partying.

[noahcarlisles]

I chose to ignore that last part, and only focus on the part where you're sort of almost apologizing. I'll take what I can get.

Truthfully, I hate the fact that I’m so bitchy. You’re such a lovely bunch of people whom I adore with all of my heart, and you totally don’t deserve my bitchiness. April Fools! I don’t give a shit if you’re butt hurt, and you all suck ass.

[noahcarlisles]

Nothing a little hand sanitizer can't handle. Honestly, that stuff is like magic eraser goo. 

Well maybe not therapy. Maybe just the installation of a home security system. 

Sounds amusing. Must’ve been annoying to take off, though.

I’m sure she’ll be needing therapy. 

[noahcarlisles]

No, my ego's been wounded far too much. I think two lunches may do it.

If I buy you lunch, will that make it all better?

[noahcarlisles]

You missed your opportunity to catch a glance of this lovely face with Sharpie circles drawn around my eyes. I should've known, why else would any of the football guys be carrying a pair of binoculars around?

Impressive, it was. I feel sorry for the chick that discovered it though, must've been scary.

Missing school was a good decision. April Fools always brings out the asshole in people. 

Though if the origami was a prank, it was pretty impressive. 

[noahcarlisles]

For all you know, I could be the killer. You could be making a powerful enemy right now, doubting me like this.

That’s exactly what I’m saying but I doubt you pulled that off, Noah.

[noahcarlisles]

So you're saying if I said it was me, I'd get a free lunch from you?

Seriously, if that origami thing turns out to be a prank then I will personally buy whoever did it lunch because that is amazing.

[noahcarlisles]

Was that a threat? C'mon, let's fight. I'm getting ready to tussle with you, Hodges.

And you may just find yourself in the eye of a hurricane.

[noahcarlisles]

See? Look how well acquainted with each other we are.

Cocky, as per usual. It’s all from the heart too, babe.

[noahcarlisles]

Watch out, you've made a powerful enemy. You may just find your underwear on the flagpole tomorrow.

I’m not sure that even having nature as a teammate would make the Titans win a single game.