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Cancer. Such a scary word. One more bump in the road. Living it. Fighting it. Kicking it’s ass.

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So... me and my scar are ready to be out and about. Today I get the results of the biopsy. Nervous? You bet! But, honestly, being in the know will eliminate the constant starte of anxiety I’m currently in. So, wish me success today... not luck!

Here is my daily mantra:

I, Valeria, am healthy.

I am safe. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am resilient. I am here for an amazing purpose.

No matter what those results reflect today, my entire thyroid and the 3 cm node is outside of my body and is no longer a danger to myself. Any treatment I have to receive is to prevent anything that might come up in the future.

I will be ok. I will be more than ok! PHENOMENAL! That’s the word 🙌🏼

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I have been up all night reading about how having my entire thyroid removed has affected my lifestyle and what changes need to be made. I am 29 years old and on New Years I found a tiny lump in my throat and thought it was all in my head. Three months later, the lump was still there and I was headed blindly through a long road that would forever change my life.

I have been gaining weight for quite some time now and have been too tired to actually want to do something about it. The small efforts I have done haven’t had any results and in my own frustration I gave up.

After realizing that my depression and anxiety were merely a symptom of what is now my diagnosis, I understood that it wasn’t all in my head... I’m not crazy. Honestly, I don’t think anyone will ever understand how relieved I am to know now that it wasn’t crazy to feel that something wasn’t right with my body or looking for answers about it.

I am exactly 12 days post-op. I am just getting started in this journey of living without my thyroid and I want to do things right. I want to live in what I consider to be a good and healthy body. I want to someday be a mom. I want to stop struggling with anxiety and depression. I want to have this be the start of a new chapter in my life.

So, where do I begin?

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Day one

This isn't my first day dealing with depression, anxiety or all those awful feelings that make life so much more harder. When you decide to tell a story, you should always start from the beginning. But I have decided to purge myself and I am sorry that I spoiled the end: a girl who drowns in depression but refuses to drown. Actually, I think I'm right in the middle of this amazing story and there's a whole future ahead. So, let me introduce myself... my name is not important. I am 27 years old and I was born in paradise. A paradise with beautiful beaches, mountain peaks filled with snow, deserts, plains and the oldest grounds, the highest waterfall in the world and the largest reserve of oil in the world. Can you guess where I'm from? The country that freed all of Central and South America from the kingdoms of the old continent and now stands alone struggling to keep democracy alive. VENEZUELA This country that has the most beautiful women in the world, the best food and the best people. Where amazing soap operas are made and baseball is tradition. A country with such a rich culture and brilliant minds that have contributed in all the areas of knowledge. Today people are dying of hunger and because basic medicines are impossible to find. People are killing each other, people are eating from the garbage, families are separated because they differ on ideologies. Our country is fragmented in two. But anyways, that's only part of the reason why depression has come to sit and ponder in my mind. As people in my country say: my story is more "arrecha" than a Leonardo Padrón Soap opera. So many things have passed in the last 27 years; good, bad, sad, exciting but never boring. I was an 8 month baby... I could not wait to come into the world and my big sister [who is 3 years older than me] took it upon herself to give my mom such a fright that this beautiful baby girl came into the world 2 months before her due date. My mom never wanted to know the sex as she was always sure it was a boy. Big surprise there! [first of many disappointments] She always jokes around by saying that my dad would tell her "it's a girl and she's going to love me more". He was right about the sex but I love my mom to infinity and beyond. I guess you could say she's one of the heroines of this story. The divorced not long after I was born, and this is where the first act of love from my mother took place. Unlike many divorced mothers, my mom never spoke ill of my father and to this day me and my sister have never heard the true reason why they split ways. She knew having a father figure was more important than anything else. Now I must explain, my mom was not my dad's first wife. During his life he married four times and, if cancer had not come a knocking, he would have married a fifth. His first marriage lasted 6 months and no child was procreated. Then came my father's second wife. She was a twin, one of the prettiest women I ever got to meet [inside and out] and the bearer of my oldest sister. She was born almost 15 years before me and was an only child until my father met my mother. There are 15 years of things that I don't know about her but wish I did. My father married my mother and with a few bumps on the road my sister was born. She was this chubby, tan baby. The first granddaughter on my mom's side and of course the light in my grandmother's eyes. Then came me, an extremely white, cranky, independent baby. So, you might be wondering how it is possible that the same man and woman could have created a really tan baby and a really white one with nothin in common physically. Easy! Venezuelan genes are the best. My grandpa is a blonde, blue eyed stud who stole the heart of a mulata when se was 15 years old and made her his wife after graduating from law school and a doctorate. They have been together for 61 years and counting [I'm hoping this is the case with me and whomever I marry]. They had 3 children: my mom, and my tow uncles. We describe their skin color as the way Venezuelans take their coffee; my mom is Cafe con Leche, my first uncle is Guayoyo and the youngest is Tetero. All of them so different, all of them so loving and unites as one. I always tease my grandma that she had my mom and came out of the hospital pregnant with my uncle and the same with the youngest. As it is custom in Venezuela, my uncles are my sister's and my godfathers. [Oh, yeah... my family is Catholic. Sometimes I think that they're catholic for somethings and for others they bend the rules to their advantage... and this includes me.] Well anyways... not long after my mom divorced my dad, she met the man who would be my stepfather for 15 years. I will NOT be writing about him other than to say that if it weren't for him I would not have the most honorable, cranky, independent and beautiful little brother ever. To be continued...

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Life is too short to be boring.

(via defineyourgrind)

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#Goodmorning #inspiration #motivation #quote #quoteoftheday #trialsntresses #morningmotivation #repost #rp #quotes #teamnatural #morninginspiration #inspirational #morning #wakeup #change #life #wisdom #bestquotes #qotd #truth

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This... This is another daily struggle. Getting up and doing what has to be done. I make plans, I make lists, I set the alarm and every morning I fight with myself.

"You have to get up" "But I'm so tired" "Get up" "I really don't want to" "You're not going to accomplish anything from bed" "I know, but I just really don't want to get up" "Get up, get up, get up"

How can I deal with this?

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Today is the day!

For More Tips Please Visit Our Page: www.TopHealthMag.com

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I don't knit, but I do leave things half way. I do give up to easily and try to move onto something else and leave that half way too. It's a constant struggle but something I'm willing to work on.

Some words of motivation for all those knitters with projects half done - Finish What you Start by Irina Troitskaya  

Irina says of her illustration “I’ve seen so many potentially excellent, but unfinished works. Hopefully it’ll help someone carry on”

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New day!

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Try again... Each day just get up and try again.