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[nnekochaan]

Prologue: The Spring that will never return

The way he looks at Shizuku is disgusting. It doesn’t matter how much he tries to bury his face under his soft, blonde hair. Even from the other end of the classroom, Hana can see it clearly. It’s one of the only things she understands perfectly these days. 

Shizuku, the girl with the brown hair. The rival Hana never expected

“Of all the things,” Hana thinks to herself. It’s so sad that the only thing she can do at this point is laugh.

Hana can kind of understand it; Shizuku is smart and simple - and honestly, so direct that there is nothing to misinterpret. It doesn’t matter that Shizuku looks exactly the same every day; her pigtails always perfectly symmetrical. Somehow- somehow he finds something new in her. If you look hard enough, his eyes sparkle every so often as he tries with all of his might to contain the smile that’s forming underneath his cool, smug face. It’s gross. And yet, Hana looks at him the same way. But something is different today - it’s not Shizuku who is next to him. It’s Hana. 

"How did I get here,” she starts to panic. “This isn’t right. I don’t sit here.”

Hana’s thoughts are suddenly silenced as he smiles. She could die in this moment. 

“Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting,” the voice in her head grows painfully louder with each syllable until-

Her alarm goes off. Of course. He would never look at her that way. Oh well.

Hana shut off her alarm, eyes half shut. It’s another day, but it’s far from ordinary. She doesn’t even know what ordinary is anymore. Ever since she transferred to that cram school, Hana has suddenly lost interest in everything around her. It’s not that she’s lost her sense of contentment, but rather, the opposite; for the first time in Hana’s life, there is something that she wants and it scares her.

She look over at her alarm clock: 6:00am. Less than 10 hours until she gets to see him. She rolls her eyes at the thought: Why does she think this way? When did she start to think this way? 

“Does it matter?” She finally says aloud, her voice echoing softly in the empty bedroom. It does. It matters more than anything. Otherwise she wouldn’t be in this predicament. 

“There’s no such thing as a problem you can’t solve,” she suddenly recalls him saying; his voice so crisp and clear, it’s almost as if she’s hearing him say it all over again. “Just an answer you can’t face.”

“Fine. Today will be the day, then,” she declares. “Today will be the day I tell Yama-kun I love him.”