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pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

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I paused Kung Fu Panda Holiday at the perfect moment

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Why does no one talk about the fact that there is litERALLY AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA UNDER THE STAGE OF EVERY BROADWAY MUSICAL WITH TRAINED MUSICIANS THAT LEARNED EVERY SINGLE SONG AND PLAY THEM EVERY SINGLE NIGHT

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A ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴡᴀs ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴍ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ, sᴏ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴍ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴏɪʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴘᴏᴛs ᴏғ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. Sʜᴇ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀʀᴏᴛ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ, ᴀɴ ᴇɢɢ ɪɴ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴄᴏғғᴇᴇ ʙᴇᴀɴs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴏɪʟᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ, ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴍ sᴀɪᴅ, “Lᴏᴏᴋ, ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ʙᴏɪʟɪɴɢ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. Tʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀʀᴏᴛ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ɪɴ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ sᴏғᴛ. Tʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴡᴀs ғʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴀʀᴅ. Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏғғᴇᴇ ʙᴇᴀɴs ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ɪᴛsᴇʟғ.” Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sᴜᴘᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏғғᴇᴇ ʙᴇᴀɴs.

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i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

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i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

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they’re going AT it

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