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ninjadurtles · 6 years ago

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My best advice to anyone who follows me is:

READ THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

Oh my god, this whole series was one of the most beautiful things I’ve read. I honestly cannot stress that enough. The final chapter especially was just a delight to read.

I absolutely loved the unexpected dynamic between Nathan, Grayson and Y/N. You know you’ve written well when you have me falling in love with an original side character. I honestly think Nathan is such a sweetheart and as much as I wanted Grayson and Y/N together, I didn’t just for my baby Nate. Also, Gray’s and Nate’s friendship was so damn pure. I absolutely loved it.

All the praise for you for this series. It was fucking amazing 😍😍😍

He’s Not Mine: Final Part G.D

Word Count: 6,478

Warnings: mentions of sexual acts I guess. That’s it. Is angst a warning? Lot’s of angst. Sad.

Grayson keeps his promise. He’s definitely around more, he brings you coffee in the mornings even though the building you’re in is very out of his way. Nate is usually with you when he does, both of them just nod and smile at each other. Nate is not confrontational and you have talked about Grayson’s intentions, Nate knows he likes you but trusts you enough to let whatever Grayson us doing continue. Grayson is confrontational, but he doesn’t want to start anything with Nate because he knows it’ll look bad on him and push you away further.

“Can you break both my hands so I can get a doctors note and ask for an extension on this paper?” Grayson says from in front of you, stretching out from behind his laptop where he was typing away.

“Gladly.” Nate pipes up with a smirk from where he is beside you and Grayson mockingly smiles.

“You’re both so funny,” you say sarcastically, reaching for Nate’s arm and pulling it around you, you ignore the way Grayson’s eyes follow the movement and clear your throat, addressing him.

“No one is breaking your hands, get your paper done and I’ll proofread it for you.” Grayson smiles with appreciation and goes back to typing.

You look up to Nate who is looking at you with a soft expression.

“What?” You whisper as to not disturb Grayson.

“I really like you.” He says leaning in to whisper it in your ear. A soft smile breaks onto your face and your eyes drift to Grayson, whose brows are furrowed with deep thought.

“Me too.” Your eyes don’t leave Grayson and you see how he slightly tenses, you brush it off as the subject matter he’s writing about and go back to your own laptop. The three of you sitting in silence as you all do homework.

To an outsider the three of you hanging out so nonchalantly would be weird, seeing as just a month ago, Grayson was trying to pummel Nate’s face in. There’s also the fact that both of them want to be with you and that you can’t give all your feelings to just one of them.

Ethan was the first one to speak out about how odd your situation was when he walked into the frat house to see you and Nate belly up on the living room floor as Grayson brought all of you drinks.

***

“This is fucked,” Ethan said, kicking off his gym shoes and plopping himself on the couch.

“What?” Grayson says with a tray holding two coffees and one orange juice.

“The three of you studying together, you’re not even in the same program.” Ethan motions to the mess of scattered papers all over the floor.

“We’re friends, now.” Nate says from his spot, sitting up to help receive his drink from Grayson, “thanks, man.”

You couldn’t lie to yourself, you agreed with Ethan. Ever since Grayson had decided to stay in your life, he had started to be overly nice to your boyfriend (?) and start hanging out with you both. At first, it was strange but now you couldn’t help but love the fact that your two favourite guys were friends.

“Yeah,” Ethan says breathily, you follow his eyes and you know he’s making eye contact with Grayson. Probably silently asking what his play here was. You wondered the same thing sometimes. Just as fast as his eyes connect with his twin brother’s they’re pulled to the door opening up, four huge guys step through, climbing over each other, pushing and shoving.

“Fortnite!” One of them yells and Ethan is up out of his seat in no time, dashing towards the stairs, following the other guys.

“We should probably go.” you nod at Nate’s suggestion and start to get up.

Grayson reaches for your hand and you let him take it, he pulls you up and you’re stumbling into him, putting your free hand in front of you to stop yourself from colliding with his chest. Your hand rests on his peck, your other still held in his, your faces inches apart.

You stare into his golden speckled eyes, he’s so beautiful you could cry. You hear as Nate starts shuffling with something at that pulls you from the hypnotization you were under.

“Thanks.” You softly say, he only nods and swallows. You step around him to pick up the rest of your stuff from the floor.

When you’re done Nate is halfway to the car, carrying your bags and you’re still in the house putting on your shoes.

“See you tomorrow?” Grayson says and you shyly nod your head, the air awkward around you two.

Grayson steps towards you and kisses your cheek, his lips soft and plush against your cold cheek. He lingers a little too long for it to be friendly and when he pulls away you’re checking to see if Nate saw. Luckily he hadn’t and you wouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone.

“Bye, Grayson.”

***

So yeah, it was weird, but you didn’t care, not when you got to be with them both to some capacity.

Maybe it was selfish, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

“You and Nate seem to be getting close.” You mention one night, you’re standing outside in a fluffy black coat, the wind blowing, messing up your hair. Grayson has his hands stuck in his pockets, his nose rosy from the cold, his hair sticking up in the wind. You wanted to run your hands through his hair and fix the loose strands. You can’t though. You don’t think your now boyfriend would appreciate it.

“Yeah, he’s cool.” You’re waiting for Nate to arrive to go into the restaurant, your table being reserved for 8:30.

“Mhm,” you hum, not knowing how to break the awkward silence.

“You made it official with him then?” You curse the fact that they talk to each other now, you wanted to be the one to tell Grayson that yes, Nate is your boyfriend.

“Yeah. He told you?” Grayson nods but stays quiet, watching you.

“Are you stopping?” You ask but can’t explain your question further because you see Nathan approaching the two of you.

Before Nate can reach you, Grayson places his hand on your back and leans to whisper in your ear.

“Never.” He then moves to hug Nate, leaving you standing in shock.

He still has hope that you’ll be together and though you may have a boyfriend, it doesn’t stop from making your heart flutter.

***

“We’re friends right?” Ethan is placing all kinds of trinkets into a small cardboard box, you’re both alone, Nate and Grayson taking out boxes to the moving van.

“Of course.” He goes back to stuffing things in the box quietly before he speaks up again.

“That means I can tell you something, one friend to another.” You nod your head, yes and he continues,

“Don’t hurt my brother anymore, because if you do, we won’t be friends.” It’s been almost a year since Grayson had last made his intentions clear, you didn’t think that he would still feel that way about you, especially since his relationship with Nate had evolved into something else.

“E, I didn’t know he still felt that way.” You can hear the other two men approaching and hope that Ethan can tell you what he knows before they make it into the dorm.

“Well, he does. I’ve been trying to protect him from you ever since you started sleeping together. I’m still doing that, but he doesn’t seem to understand. You’re moving in with Nathan and he still doesn’t see why he has to move on. You need to let him go, please, just tell him to give up.” Ethan finishes just as Gray and Nate step through into the room, Nate grabbing you from behind and kissing your temple. You don’t see the smile on Grayson’s face falter, and what Ethan told you starts to appear false.

He doesn’t still feel the same, he’s been with girls since you. He can’t feel the same.

Why do Ethan’s words suddenly ring in your head, filling you with something unknown.

You have to tell him to move on, for him and Ethan and Nate.

You just don’t want him to.

***

“Have you not moved on?” You spit out, Gray is seated quietly at your kitchen table, doing something on his phone.

“What?” He says clearly taken aback, placing his phone down.

“Ethan said you’re still into me.” He said more than that but you need to keep it short.

“Don’t listen to anything Ethan says.” You take that as a yes, he has moved on and everything can go back to normal, with no awkwardness from your pat.

“Okay. Good.” You stir the pasta, hoping it won’t stick the bottom, you really don’t need Gray and Nathan making fun of you again for another 30 years.

“I haven’t though.” You turn to him, eyes wide, “moved on.”

Of course, of course, this is happening, of course, you have to open your mouth and ask a stupid question. You hate Ethan so much right now.

“You’ve been with other girls though!” You screech, Gray’s face into one that can only be described as ‘duh’ and he stifles a laugh.

“You can’t expect me to be celibate for more than three weeks, tops.” You make a disgusted face that he laughs at.

“You’re gross.” You hate that you feel sad about the news that he’s been with others.

“I have needs.” You scrunch up your nose in disgust and go back to stirring the pasta.

“You have to move on, Gray.” The kitchen goes eerily quiet and you let the steam from the pot hit your face.

“I’m trying.”

***

Sometimes you catch yourself looking at Gray for long periods of time. When he’s over at your place playing video games with Nathan, or when you invite your friends over for movie nights and drinks. You look at him and think of what could have been if you had just waited for him instead of finding Nathan.

Probably nothing since the only reason he figured out his feelings was because of Nathan.

Life goes on though, you and Nathan have a small little apartment where you spend most of your time studying. It was better than living in the dorms, you needed it to be quiet to concentrate on school work. You needed privacy that dorm rooms didn’t provide.

Second-year comes and goes and soon you’re panicking over your third-year courses that start in less than a week.

“You’ll be fine.” Your friend Jenna is over trying to help you figure out why your booklist isn’t working.

“Maybe I got expelled from all my courses and that’s why I don’t have books.” Jenna rolls her eyes and fiddles with the web page.

“What could you have possibly done to get yourself expelled?” You pout knowing that you had done absolutely nothing.

“They found out I’m a horrible person for loving two people.” You blurt, throwing yourself on your bed.

“Loving two people doesn’t make you horrible, it makes you confused.” She sighs.

You feel horrible. It’s been a little over two years of you and Nathan being together and you still can’t shake Grays completely off you. You still felt something for him. Everyone you told, told you to take some space from him, but you couldn’t imagine your life without him in it for more than a few days.

It would be weird telling Nathan that you needed time from Gray, they were friends after all and it would only make Nathan suspicious of your feelings.

University life had taken a toll on both of them, Nathan didn’t have friends at the school and Gray only had Ethan, the frat guys not being as reliable. Nathan had told Gray his mom was sick before he even told you, not wanting to worry you because of all the exams you had on your plate.

They were so important to each other and you couldn’t be the reason they were no longer friends. Not when you still had third and fourth year to get through.

Gray didn’t want you like that anyway, not after you told him to move on, he had a girlfriend for the whole summer, only breaking up because she had to go to wherever she went to school. You didn’t pay attention to her. You didn’t care that he moved on, of course not, you just didn’t care about her either.

Or you fooled yourself into not caring about Gray not wanting you anymore.

***

“You should go, have fun.” Your hand is on Nathan’s forehead, feeling how hot he is. Your heart constricts at how tired he sounds.

“No, I’m staying with you and taking care of you.” He had come home feeling under the weather, you told him he needed to rest up and then you could go to the party, only when he had woken up, he had the full blown flu.

“I’m going to be sleeping the whole time, you were so excited for this. Go celebrate Jenna, I’ll be fine.” You hesitate before nodding your head.

“Okay, but I’m calling to check on you every hour.” He smiles tiredly, snuggling into the pillows.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

***

You get to the party, music blasting through the speakers, sweaty bodies gyrating against one another. You squeeze by trying to look for a friendly face, preferably the face of your friend, wanting to wish her a happy birthday.

You don’t find her, but you find a toothy-grinned Gray who is slamming his body into yours, lifting you up into a strong hug.

“Hi!” He says loudly over the music. He puts you down by sliding you down his body and gripping your shoulders.

“Where’s Nate?” Gray grins a little too crazily which tells you he’s had too much to drink.

“He stayed home, he isn’t feeling too well.” He licks his lips and looks behind you at someone, nodding at them, squeezing your arm gently, excusing himself to go after whoever called his attention.

You turn around to see where he’s going but don’t see the person he’s following as they disappear behind the corner.

Your stomach hurts.

***

You find Jenna eventually and wish her a happy birthday, giving her the ceramic rose gold pumpkin candle holder you got her. After that, you go looking for your other friends who texted you that they were here.

As you do, you walk in to find Gray with his hand up some girls shirt, your face heating up immediately as you slam the door and run to the empty backyard.

You don’t want to feel this way, you hate the jealousy that consumes you, the tears that fill your eyes.

You want to go home to Nathan, you want to forget whatever it is you feel for Gray.

You don’t hear as the sliding door opens behind you and as footsteps come near you. You don’t look up when he sits beside you, sighing.

“I’m sorry.” He speaks first, his voice slurring slightly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You finally look up at him and he’s looking straight ahead into the dark.

“I liked it.” You frown in confusion and he continues, “the feeling when you found us. I liked it.”

“Oh.” You have nothing to say to that and you sit in silence for a few moments.

“You’re killing me.” He slurred

“Gray-”

“It hurts so fucking bad.” The guilt consumes you at his words.

“I want you so bad. All the time. I want you but I can’t have you because he’s my friend now, that uh- that wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to be your friend until you realized you wanted more. I wasn’t supposed to find a real friend in him.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can think to say.

“You can’t tell him that I still love you, I can’t lose you both.” He looks at you, eyes glossy, your facade falters, you want to tell him that maybe you still love him too.

“I won’t.” You sit in silence with Gray beside you for what feels like forever. Your hearts beating for each other, both of you too involved with someone else to notice.

***

After that night, something clicks, you and Grayson don’t hang out alone as often, you don’t talk as much as you once did and you don’t stay too long whenever he’s over at your place. Making excuses of having to go study or meet a friend for a project.

Nathan buys all of it, you and Grayson know better.

***

You hate the fact that you actually grow apart from him. Your feelings for him get pushed into a little box in your heart and you convince yourself that they’re forgotten, that you don’t feel anything.

So when you Nathan tells you that he’s invited Grayson and whoever his girl of the week is to the beach house for spring break, you’re ecstatic.

You think about a career change, acting would better suit you.

You call Jenna and Ethan, who then invite their significant others. You need the buffers.

***

The fire crackles as a warm breeze hits you and makes goosebumps arise on your bare arms. You look up to the sky and look in awe at the thousands and thousands of stars, the light from the fire illuminating your face. You feel eyes on you and you know they aren’t your boyfriends.

“I’m going to head to bed, I’m exhausted.” Ethan’s girlfriend says, winking at Ethan who gets up with her and follows her to the house.

“They aren’t sleeping, are they?” Jenna asks giggling

Everyone shakes their heads, Jenna laughing to herself as the silence continues, Grayson having put down his guitar a while ago.

You turn to Nathan who’s next to you and whisper that you’re tired and headed to sleep. He kisses your temple and tells you he’ll be in soon.

“Good night guys, see you tomorrow.” You say getting up and walking towards the house, you walk over to the kitchen to get a glass of water before you go upstairs. The house is dark, the light from the fire illuminating it slightly. The back door opens and closes quietly, Grayson coming into view.

“Sorry. I thought you were in your room.” You put your glass down and go to walk away but he stops you, grabbing your arm. You freeze and wait for whatever he’s going to say.

“I miss you.” He hunches down, trying to capture your eyes.

“Stop.” Your voice is firm but it doesn’t stop him from standing close to you.

Your eyes don’t leave his, captured by how beautiful he looks in the half-light. He leans forward, his eyes moving down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You swallow in unison, your head moving forward. Before you can move anymore and kiss your ex-whatever when your boyfriend is outside, the door opens and in walks Grayson’s date.

“What the hell?” She whispers harshly, not trying to cause any problems.

“We were just talking.” You back away from Grayson as he reaches for her, she turns on her heels and bolts up the stairs, Grayson following her.

When Nathan walks into the house, you’re still standing in the middle of the kitchen, wondering if your relationship is about to end.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

It doesn’t though, instead, you have front row seats to moans, groans and screams of “Gray, Gray, oh yes, Grayson!” from the room beside your own, all night. You can’t fall asleep so you torture yourself by listening to him fucking someone else.

“Damn,” Nathan says, rolling over and spooning you.

You don’t notice you’re crying.

***

He doesn’t look at you in the morning and you’re so so angry that you do the same thing that night. As Nathan fills you, you scream in pleasure, banging on the wall, begging the world to let him hear you, let him hear you how satisfied his friend was making you.

You feel gross afterwards, Nathan’s asleep and you, once again, settle for a sleepless night.

***

“That was mature of you last night,” Ethan says, bedhead on full display, yawning and dragging his feet into the kitchen.

“He can do it but I can’t?” Ethan grabs a clean mug from the cabinet and continues to serve himself coffee.

“This dance you guys have got going on, it needs to stop. It’s been years.” You slam your plate down on the counter.

“He told me he missed me and not even an hour later he’s fucking her.” You storm out of the kitchen and to your room, you just want this week to be over.

***

The girl he brought, you don’t even remember her name, leaves that afternoon, probably tired of the unspoken games you and Grayson keep playing.

You don’t blame her, you’re tired too.

You’re being horrible. You almost cheated on Nathan, and the only reason you slept with Nathan last night was to get back at Grayson for the night before.

You’ve never felt like a shittier person than now.

You hated this version of yourself.

You had to stop.

***

I still love you.

You hate that that’s the only thing you can think when you look at Grayson as he cleans dishes that night. You’re so mad at him, you have a boyfriend and you love the wrong man.

“Last night was stupid.” He says, feeling your eyes on him.

You walk away.

***

“Whatever is happening between us needs to stop. I love Nathan. He’s your friend and we can’t hurt him.” It’s a rare moment where you’re left alone with Grayson, everyone else is setting up at the beach and you had decided to sleep in, finding Grayson on your way out of the house.’

“Okay.” You walk beside him in the direction of the beach where your friends are. The sand making it hard to walk in your flip-flops.

“Can we please go back to being friends?” He says it so quietly, the wind sweeping his words away, you almost miss it.

“I would really like that.” You want to be friends with him so bad, he’s so important to you and you’re willing to try, even with all your history.

*** You don’t hang out with Gray as much, but you are friends, you text all the time, you don’t bolt from the room when the other steps in and he sometimes brings you coffee when you Snapchat that you’re falling asleep in class.

You might never truly be over Gray, there are boundaries that have been crossed and your hearts might always be latched to one another’s but for now, you like where you both are in each other’s lives.

***

You don’t see much of anyone when year four comes around, practicums and honours papers keeping you far away from your social life. Gray and E go home to Jersey for winter break and Gray comes back with a girlfriend. You’re too busy to even process the news and when you do, you aren’t really bothered by it. Probably because your own boyfriend had just gotten back from a semester abroad and you were too busy re-acquainting yourself with him.

Distractions, always distractions.

***

The relationship doesn’t last. They break up right before finals and Gray pretends that it doesn’t hurt him but you know him better.

You ignore the pain you feel when you realize he’s hurting over this girl by throwing yourself into graduation planning.

***

You don’t see it coming. You’re too busy distracting yourself with graduation, and parties and finals. You don’t see it coming when he tells you he made a reservation and you don’t see it coming when he takes you back to where you had your first date.

You don’t see it coming until he’s on one knee in front of you and your heart is a lump in your throat.

You tear up for all the wrong reasons.

You tear up and start shaking because it’s the wrong guy on one knee in front of you. You tear up because you can’t see yourself walking down the aisle towards him. Not him with blue eyes and dark hair. No, you see yourself walking towards golden brown eyes and a smile that’s enchanting.

You tear up because, after all this time, you realize you can’t keep lying to yourself. Because after four years, you finally let yourself let go of the idea of perfect Nathan.

He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves better than you.

You run.

***

You run and end up at the one place it would be expected you end up. You always end up where he is, something pulling you towards him.

You knock at his door furiously, your knuckles turning red. When he opens the door and reveals his face your breath is taken away. You should have known, all this time it’s been him.

“Are you okay?” He says worried, startled by your shaken appearance.

“He asked me to marry him and I didn’t know what to do so I came here.” You rush out, walking past him into his apartment.

“Oh.” Is all he says, picking underneath his nail, looking at anywhere but you.

“Yeah.” You breathe out, looking at Gray, asking the universe for a sign that he feels the same.

“What are you going to do?” He’s wary about the subject you can tell, and maybe it’s a good thing.

“I don’t know. I love him but-” I’m not in love with him.

“Don’t marry him. Please.” The sign you wanted, but you needed to know that if you did this, Gray and you could be together.

“You can’t ask me that, not unless you tell me why.” He looks at you, eyes sad.

“You know why.” Why can’t he just tell you what you want to hear. If he won’t tell you then you’ll tell him.

“Be with me then!” Your voice cracks, a big broken cry ripping through you.

“I can’t do that to him.” You’re being selfish again, you see the tears in his eyes. You’re making him choose between his friend and you.

“Gray! I love you!” You scream out, he shuts his mouth and shakes his head.

“And you’re my everything but you can’t. We can’t.” Your shoulders start shaking. Sobs shaking violently through you. You feel like you’re being engulfed by a dark cloud. A cloud that is never going to stop raining upon you.

“Just-” his voice shakes with such emotion that your eyes instantly flood over with tears.

“Just don’t marry him.” It’s his turn for his voice to crack and you walk up to him, tugging him towards you until his arms are around you, his face tucked into your neck. Both of you hold each other, crying at the entrance of his home.

I can’t bring myself to say goodbye.

***

By the time you walk back into your apartment, it’s midnight, the light in your bedroom is on and you brace yourself for what’s to come.

You push the door open and find Nathan laying on his side of the bed, he’s studying for his last final. The ring box in the nightstand next to him. His head snaps up to you walking into the room but stays silent.

“I’m sorry.” You squeak out sitting on the edge of the bed, turning your body to face him.

“For what? For running away when I asked you to marry me or for loving Grayson?” Your stomach lurches as his words, eyes widening.

“I’m not stupid, I know, I’ve known. I just pretended, hoping that maybe one day it would become real. You weren’t the only one.” Your eyes fill with tears for the billionth time that night and Nathan gets up off the bed, grabbing the ring box and reaching for your hand.

“Let’s go.” He motions to the door with his head and you look at him confused.

“What?” He’s trying to take you somewhere but you need to talk about the fact that your relationship is over.

“Do you want to come with me or do you want to keep pretending until we have three kids?” You take his hand and let him drag you towards the apartment door and then to his car until you’re parked outside Gray’s place. You look towards the building then back at Nathan, confused, to say the least.

“Nathan what are we doing?” You scramble with your seatbelt when Nathan hops out of his truck and storms towards the building. Nathan has never been the one to get aggressive but you were scared that this would be the first time.

You slam the truck door and sprint after Nathan who is already in the building and knocking on Gray’s door. When Gray opens his door, his eyes are red and hair dishevelled. When he realizes who’s standing in front of him he straightens out and tenses. He looks to you and you shake your head, letting him know that you didn’t know what you were doing here.

Gray lets both of you into the apartment, trying to avoid getting kicked out if a fight broke out. You didn’t think Gray would fight Nathan though.

“What’s going on?” Gray says and Nathan motions for you both to sit on the couch. You move hesitantly over towards Grayson as you both sit, leaving some room between you two.

Nathan stands in front of the both of you and takes the ring out of the box.

“I asked her to marry me.” You don’t look to see what Gray does, only stare at Nathan as he looks towards Gray.

“But you knew that because she came here when she ran from me.” If you had just left Nathan out of this, he wouldn’t be hurting right now.

Gray doesn’t say anything.

“I went out and bought this ring because I thought that maybe, if she said yes, she would finally, finally be mine. But she was never mine.” He looks to you, sadness overtaking his face, tears welling in his eyes.

“This all started because he wasn’t yours, but he always was, you were always each other’s and I’m just the dude that fell in love with the wrong person.” Gray makes an attempt to speak up but Nathan holds up a hand to stop him.

“I understand. I mean I always knew it was going to be you two. I just ignored it because I loved you, I loved you so much, and you,” he turns his attention to Grayson who looks up from the ground, “you became such a great friend to me, I knew how you felt and you still showed up for me every time I needed you, and that’s when I realized that it was a real friendship.” He pauses, both you and Grayson don’t say anything so he continues.

“Thank you for putting your feelings aside for our friendship, thank you for loving me even if it wasn’t the way you loved him. I’m stepping away.” He finishes fiddling with the engagement ring that was meant to be yours.

You didn’t know what to say so Grayson took the lead.

“Nate, man, look-” Nathan cuts him off a waver in his voice.

“No, it’s okay, if y/n and I stay together, two of us will be unhappy, if we all go our separate ways, three of us will be unhappy, if I step back, only one of us will be hurt.”

You swallow back tears, you never meant for this to happen, you loved Nathan, you’ve loved him for years, you were just never in love with him, not the way you were in love with Grayson.

Nathan starts walking away and you quickly get up off the couch, stepping towards him and away from Grayson, you see the latter boy deflate as you leave him behind you.

“Nate, don-I’m sorry.” You want to tell him not to go, you want him to be in your life. But that’s you being selfish again because if he doesn’t fix himself, he’ll just be hurting because of both of you. He just needs time.

“I forgive you.” He shrugs, smiling and continuing to walk out of your life.

***

You don’t find it appropriate to jump straight into a relationship with Gray, you both take it slow, going on dates here and there. Avoiding the places on campus and around town that Nathan could be at. You both hadn’t spoken to him and it killed you not to have him in your life but you knew he needed time.

You graduate with your friends and the love of your life watching, but it doesn’t feel right with him not there.

***

“Wait! What do you mean you have never seen 27 Dresses?” You jump up on the bed in surprise, crawling over Gray who’s laying on his belly.

“I’m not a rom-com guy.” You look at him in disbelief.

“Bullshit!” He rolls over and pulls you down on top of him.

“We can rent it and watch it after dinner, I’m cooking.” You kiss his lips, your hair getting in the way.

“Not that we have another choice, we know how bad I am at cooking.” He snickers and moves your hair out of your face.

“I love you.” You both say at the same time, of course, you do, you’re that couple.

“I said it first.” He cries out, tickling your sides.

“No! Stop!” You start kicking your legs and flailing your arms trying to get away from him, almost falling off the bed.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go make food before you break your head.” You lift yourself off of him and pull him up off his back, clasping your hands together you walk into the kitchen.

You were going to be okay, this felt perfect.

***

“I’m going to die, I can’t breathe, it’s too tight,” Cameron says smoothing down her white dress.

“You look like a princess,” you tell her, her eyes sparkle but she turns red.

“You think?” You give her a reassuring smile walking over to where the boys were looking at their tuxes.

“Hey, handsome” you sneak your arms around his waist, your hands resting above his belly button.

“Hey, gorgeous.” He turns around in your arms and pecks your lips, checking you out in the little black dress Cameron had put you in.

“This is nice.” He touches the fabric, sliding his hand down your arm.

“Yeah, I think it’s pretty.” You hear Ethan clear his throat from beside you both, thinking that he’s only whining about your PDA again you go to shush him but before you can, your eyes catch a familiar figure in the bridal shop. You let go of Gray and he frowns, not catching on yet. He looks to where you and Ethan are looking and his first reaction is to step away from you, leaving space between the both of you, taking you back to that night on the couch.

“You don’t have to do that,” Nathan says moving closer to the three of you.

“How are you?” Ethan decides that as the perfect moment to go find Cameron, leaving the awkward situation behind.

“I’m really well.” He stares at Gray and grins.

“So she said yes to you?” Gray’s eyes widen and he stammers out something you don’t quite catch.

“It’s okay! I’m kidding, I know you’re here for your sister, I saw that she was getting married on Instagram. Gray sighs out in relief and you smile, seeing their dynamic again making you happy.

“I really have to go, but we should all hang out soon.”

“For sure, yeah, anytime.” To anyone else he wouldn’t sound desperate but to you, you know how much he wanted Nathan back in his life. He misses his friend, you do too.

Nathan leaves the and the both of you move towards each other. Gray looks sombre and you hug his side.

“We’ll be okay.”

***

You are okay. Nathan comes around and you all start going out more often, having movie nights and more importantly they start talking again. It takes time for everything to fall into place but it soon does and you couldn’t be happier.

Everything solidifies when Gray comes back one night from dinner with Nathan to find you curled up in a ball watching 27 Dresses for the one-hundredth time.

“He’s seeing someone.” He hesitantly tells you and your eyes widen, happy for your friend.

“Really? Oh my gosh, who? Is she pretty? Did you meet her?” Gray’s nerves brush off once he notices that you really are just happy for your friend, no jealousy in sight.

You are so happy for Nathan, he deserves to be happy with someone.

“I didn’t meet her, but he seems smitten.” You squeal in excitement.

“That makes me so happy for him.” He plops down next to you, taking your hand.

“Me too.”

“I told you we would be okay.”

***

Everything is good again, you have your friend back and you have your boyfriend.

“You should just move in,” Gray mentions nonchalantly while you’re cleaning up from a Friendsgiving event, not being able to go home this year due to work.

“I really should.”

You go pick up your stuff from Jenna’s house the next day and by nightfall, you’re all moved in.

***

“Gray?” You’re digging through a box of old stuff trying to find your old camera, the memory card holding a very special picture of Gray in front of the most beautiful sunset you had ever seen.

“Babe?” He calls from wherever he is.

“Have you seen my camera?” He walks into the room with a bowl of cereal in his hand, mouth full.

“Nope.” He mumbles

“I really want a picture of you that’s on it, the one with the sunset we saw on our friends with benefits second date.” Gray almost chokes on his cereal from swallowing back a laugh.

“Friends with benefits first date.”

“Yeah!” You stand up, abandoning the box.

“We can go take a picture of me in the sunset right now! Let’s go! Get your pretty little butt out to the car!” He’s setting his bowl down on the side table and pushing you out the bedroom door.

You laugh the whole way out to the car.

You love him so much. Everything was how it should have been from the start but you don’t regret anything from the past, it just got you to where you are today.

“Come on sunshine! Smile! Say I’m yours!” You jokingly say as he poses.

“I’m yours!”

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