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ninglush · 8 days

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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (16) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ debrief ! + kimi's note

hi !

i've gotten a few asks in my inbox regarding part 16 that (i feel) lean towards negativity @ babydaddy!oc.

as much as i appreciate interactions,, it surprised me with how it (my work) was received. i understand that everyone has their own opinions, but some of the asks come off more as a vent/hateful pov,,

and listen,,, i get that this is a fanfic LOL

but the reason i'm making this a post is that, truthfully, i don't want to (individually) answer these asks. i've spent the past few days reflecting on the feedback i was given and the chapter itself... i've concluded that i’m all abt conversation (!!!) but don’t think these asks lead the ones i want to have on my blog. i also don't want to share them because i feel that these opinions undermine the experience of other readers who enjoyed and resonate with the chapter.

at the same time, i also don’t want them to go unaddressed because these are real ppl who spent time and sent thoughts in. one way or another, i believe my work resonated with u and the most i could ever really ask for as a writer is to write something that makes people feel.

so to those anons that sent in these asks, i want u to know i that i’ve let your thoughts sit with me and i think you made good points. in that same sense, i want to defend my work and explain a few things..

context:

full bbydaddy timeline (as of 16)

bbydaddy was originally meant to be a one time scenario

upon request, i extended the series multiple times

since the series extended,, in terms of plot,, i took as an opportunity to dig deeper into their dynamic (as a family, as lovers, and as individuals)

one: bbydaddy!jk and bbydaddy!oc's lore

first and foremost,,, there are no sides.

there are layers to their relationship. both characters go through and process differently. oc's experiences should not be invalidated just because her emotions are voiced 'wrong.' the career and the depth of it can and should be looked from different point of views. though i didn't write it in, i personally pictured oc to be the eldest daughter in her household. the constant need to be the best is a natural feeling for her and isn't necessarily seen as a flaw through jk's eyes. if anything, she believes in him more than he believes in himself. in her pov,, that's how she loves him. she wants more for him because she believes he deserves more and that he's worth more. it wasn't meant to be a 'greedy' attribute but i understand where it initially comes off as that.

all in all, i think this is one of my very few fics where i picked her flaws on purpose and wrote some in by accident. as a writer, i thought this brought more authenticity in her character as well as sparked the ongoing questions of; what does it really mean to love someone and how much of yourself can you give until there's nothing left? and when there's nothing left; what then? do you pick the pieces together? do you learn and move forward or do you stay where you are and feel it. feel everything and drown in it so you don't miss a thing?

i think oc's character dives into those concepts really well. initially, as i read the asks and 'reviews' on oc,, i felt bad for her (LOL) because truly... she's so misunderstood.

as for jk... i think that man is delusional to the core. but !!! that's my error. i think in the beginning,, bbydaddy jk has this... douche-ness in him that really captures and captivates their dynamic. over time, as the story goes on, you see how fragile he actually is and how pathetic he can get. him proposing to oc was 1) bad timing 2) inconsiderate since he was definitely in his own headspace for thinking and putting his feelings first 3) jus for the drama. LOL !

all in all, i don't think jk did anything wrong (neither did oc) i jus think their relationship is the sole definition of timeless but untimely.

two: asks and anons

please don’t send in asks that bring negative vibes. if u don’t like a character (it’s ok to feel frustrated and all) u can jus move on. no need to send in 'fuck her' if its not in an ironic way 😭 be mindful and remember ur manners. jus cos u’re on anon doesn’t mean u’re held any less accountable !

if u have nothing nice to say,, don’t say it at all. i may not be ur fave writer and this may not be ur fave character or fic ….

and that’s ok.

u are probably not my fave reader anyway 😝

i am not the only smau writer on this app or fic writer at that. i'd encourage u to branch out and find new writers if my characters frusterate u so much (ToT)"

i love receiving silly asks and heartfelt ones even more so when they’re abt my plot and are positive notes regarding my writing! i look forward to those because they remind me of my growth and make me feel appreciated. these fics and smau i make take time btw. like... lots! unfortunately, i'm not talented enough to wake up and write a fic all the way through the end in 1-3 sittings. i need like 5 business days to figure out which jk pic i'm using bro

anon will be turned off for my peace of mind (for now). ikkk it's annoying bc most of u guys are so kind and sweet ,, but it feels like every time i turn it back on,, ppl get ballsy and like srsly???

i am scared of balls

three: kimi's note

at the end of the day, i’m jus a girl writing a silly little story in her free time!

did u catch that? in my free time. the time i put into sitting down, writing, fixing and pacing plots, etc; are all unpaid. i do this because i want to share my creativity and delusions. with that, as a fic writer, i understand and have accepted that there are times when i should feed into the audience/readers' expectations and needs...

and that’s exactly it.

i get to pick and choose what to feed into, what i give out, and what i keep.

with being on tumblr for 4yrs, i've seen so many fic writers leave bitter notes because of how nasty their asks inbox gets. (thankfully, mine is nothing like that) i will not let my inbox become that. i refuse to let my blog and fics burn me out.

i’ve grown so much as a writer over the years. i'm so proud of myself too. yet, i am aware and understand that i am still continuing to learn abt what boundaries i need/have when it comes to my work. i am learning what that means with my social media presence. i am learning how to not let passive/negative asks bother me. i am learning.

if u've been following me long enough, u know how often i take breaks to take care of my mental health, school/work schedule, and maintain/improve my quality of fics.

to be honest, i was really hurt and discouraged when anons gave their 2 cents with my break idea. i posted that to communicate where my headspace was and to have received entitled and inconsiderate responses really threw me off. although, i understand it may not be that serious to the ones that sent it in and i (probably am) overreacting,, i would still like to put it out in the universe that i am not okay with receiving responses like those. please think before you send in. some things are better left unsaid and often unnecessary as it makes me feel like i'm jus a content machine or smt.

and in case u forgot—

i am a real human with feelings (sometimes with too many).

i'm thankful to have realized and accepted my (known) boundaries. i'm grateful for the confidence and security i have with my wonderful readers and work, knowing that i'm worth the wait.

i know i can and will be taking all the breaks i want. i will binge/content dump all i want. i will take 2 weeks if i want.

through all of this,, i promise to do my best and be better in the future !

if u read everything,, thank u. i wanted to say everything from a place of love and reflection,, so i appreciate u taking the time to understand me. i hope i continue to be a writer u look forward to.

promise ! i'll make u proud ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

all the love,

kimi ♡

79 notes · View notes

ninglush · 1 month

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i think my heart bursted 😭

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (11) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: hi !! sorry for the mini wait ,, hope u guys enjoy …. i’d rlly appreciate ur thots for this series as i’m still contemplating on extending or ending it soon !! thank u 🫶🏻

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

"mama!"

as you turn your head, your eyes light up at the sight of zion. you watch your assistant push the big conference glass door open for him. he bolts through, smiling brightly. you get up from your chair and bend down, opening your arms for him to crash into. zion giggles, launching himself at you. you squeeze him tight before picking him up.

then, you see jungkook running in after him with flowers in his hands.

"zion, we have to wait for mommy's meeting to finish—oh.." jungkook looks at his son, defeated. then, he pouts at you. "hi. sorry. we planned on waiting in the lobby but your assistant recognized zion and brought us up."

you shrug, trying to regulate your heartbeat. jungkook looks good (as usual) but something about him and this gesture weakens your knees.

"no," you breathe. "don't apologize. this is sweet of you two. are those flowers for me, z?"

zion nods.

"f is flowers for mama!"

you shoot jungkook a glare. in response, he tightens his lips and puffs his cheeks. "seriously? we just talked about his alphabet—stop laughing!"

jungkook ignores you.

he moves past you and greets your colleagues. he recognizes some from past christmas parties and others from the stories you've shared. they make small talk as you sneak in kisses and cheek squishes on zion. when their conversation ends, they slip out of the conference room leaving you and your little family.

swiftly, jungkook moves closer and takes zion from your arms. he whispers in zion's ear and then motions at you. zion offers you the flowers.

happily, you accept the flowers and thank him. then, you purse your lips for a kiss. "wow! thank you, baby."

when zion pulls away from the kiss he declares; "welcome mama. dada turn!"

without a second thought, you take a shot at jungkook. "did you teach him that too?"

jungkook chuckles. "you wish."

"says who?"

he rolls his eyes at you playfully. "awh! come on. you're just annoyed cos you know he thought of it himself."

"he's mischievous," you agree. "only means he's truly your son—"

"yeah, yeah," jungkook leans forward and gently kisses your cheek. "whatever you say, mama."

you laugh into the crook of his neck. zion laughs along and you scrunch your nose at him.

"daddy's annoying, z."

zion nods in agreement.

offended, jungkook gasps and tickles zion.

"what are you teaching our son?" jungkook pouts.

before you can answer, your attention shifts to the door where three interns enter snickering.

"sorry to interrupt, ms. ___... but is this your son? he's so cute!" one of the three interns asks, entering the conference room. you nod as jungkook shows zion off.

"zion, say hi."

zion bows his head and introduces the family. "hi! this my dada, this my mama, this me!"

"hi zion!" another intern chimes. "did you know your mommy always shows us videos of you singing? can you sing for us?"

"yes!" zion cheers. "want to hear my abc's?"

you clear your throat, unsure of what he could possibly pull.

"zion baby, maybe let's not sing your abc's—"

"a is for back together—"

jungkook covers zion's mouth.

"h-hey, buddy... why don't you sing itsy bitsy spider instead? do the dance too." jungkook suggests, ensuring his tone of voice is positive enough to convenience his son.

zion gasps. "yes, dada! itsy bitsy spider dance! cos i'm spiderman?"

the three interns awe.

they tell zion that he in fact is spiderman. jungkook puts him down, letting zion make waddle his way to them. the three interns bend down, all bonding and competing for zion's attention.

jungkook makes his way back to you. he wraps his arms around your waist and tilts his head at you.

"okay, fine.. i'll stop with the alphabet thing."

you huff. "good."

"you're not mad right?"

"about the alphabet thing? no, i'm not mad," you assure him. "why would i be mad?"

the word mad is a little strong. did it come off like that? maybe you should work on your facial expressions. having a resting bitch face comes with a lot of cons.

jungkook shakes his head, realizing you two were talking about two different things. "no. not that. not the alphabets... what i meant was; i didn't know if you wanted to see me here. disrupting your day or whatever.."

"oh that part? no. it's fine. i always wanna see you—y-you and zion, i mean.""

jungkook blinks at you.

"you and our son," you repeat. "especially our son."

jungkook smirks. "yeah?"

"yeah."

it's then that you realize how close he is to you. not so secretly, you take in his scent. he's freshly showered and his clothes smell like his favourite detergent (of course. he's pretty anal about laundry). it makes you laugh.

"what? why are you laughing?" he asks, smile disappearing.

snorting, you answer him. "nothing. you just... you love downy."

"so what?"

"it's just funny—hey!"

jungkook uses one hand to grab your ass. he grabs a handful. he loves your ass. only has (always will). you laugh, playfully shoving him away.

"yah! we're in public." you laugh.

jungkook squints at you. "should we go to your office then? zion has literally 3 babysitters right now."

"jungkook—"

he pokes your sides, shutting you up. "okay, but for real... aside from zion and i being obsessed with you; we're here to deliver some bad news."

you swallow, letting your mind run wild. what could be so bad that jungkook came over with zion to your work place? if it was a family emergency, he would've given it to you straight. yet, he seems to be calm about everything... surely, it can't be that horrible, right?

your eyebrows furrow together. "what's happened?"

"the unit above that was leaking? apparently, their floors flooded so now our unit's ceiling is leaking. they have to go in and figure out the pipe situation or whatever..." jungkook explains.

"what? holy shit. what do i do—"

"i went in to look for myself. it's not the end of the world but they definitely have to do some damage control. while i was there i just packed your clothes and zion's. grabbed your other stuff too but if i'm missing anything we can go back and—"

"what do you mean? like we can't go home tonight?"

jungkook shakes his head. "not for a good week or two."

"are you serious?" you panic, taking your phone out to check your emails and text messages.

... and there they are. 3 missed calls from your building manager, a lengthy message, and an email detailing everything.

"fuck," you hiss. "so.. what am i supposed to do?"

jungkook sighs, rubbing your back. "relax, okay? the furniture is fine. i moved things around and they said they would check in to make sure nothing in our unit gets ruined... but in the meantime... do you want to stay with your parents or—"

"you."

a beat

"if that's okay?"

jungkook nods, holding himself back. the truth is, it was more than okay. it was perfect actually. he's never been so thankful for a bad thing to happen... but goddamn was he over the moon for this. to be able to sleep in the same bed as you and his son for the next week or so? holy shit.

duh, it's okay.

you take a deep breath and shut your eyes. you try to process your feelings... the entire situation isn't that awful, it's just inconvenient and you didn't expect it to happen. you hate surprises like these. jungkook knows that better than anyone else therefore he thought it be best that he plays damage control for you. grabbing your belongings, picking zion up from daycare today, and delivering you the news personally... it made sense to. also, he didn't want you to stress and struggle without him by your side. of course, he has to be here for you. why would he want you to feel alone in this?

when you open your eyes, you realize jungkook pulled you in for a hug. as you lift your arms to wrap around him, you suddenly pull away when nam joon awkwardly enters the conference room.

"hey joo—nam joon," you greet him. your eyes shift to jungkook. jungkook gives you a look and your tummy feels a little weird. his gaze is stern and his jaw is slightly clenched. you know he caught your slip but you also know he's probably pleased with the way you corrected yourself.

"is that zion? wow, he's grown so much. looks like he's stealing the intern's hearts right now." nam joon asks, admiring your son.

in attempt to lighten the mood, you hit jungkook's chest. "seriously, what are you teaching our son?"

luckily, jungkook chuckles.

nam joon smiles politely. then, he extends his hand. "jungkook, nice to see you again."

jungkook shakes his hand, gripping it tightly. nam joon's eyes drop to the handshake.

"yeah."

... is all jungkook says in response to nam joon.

an odd silence falls between you three. for a moment, you all stand there and watch zion. zion waves at you and jungkook and you two wave back. nam joon watches as jungkook naturally puts his arm around your waist and feels out of place.

nam joon clears his throat.

"oh, did you need something?" you ask, refocusing. "i thought you had to meet a client this afternoon?"

nam joon moves past jungkook, closer to you. he hands you a few papers. you take them and read your name. "your contract is revised. your vacation days are approved. just need you to sign these so i can get my secretary to process them."

your eyes light up. "oh my god! really?"

nam joon smiles. "really. also, i didn't mean to, but i overheard about your unit situation. if you need a play to stay or the day off today—"

jungkook mimics nam joon's throat-clearing noise. he tugs you close and looks directly at nam joon in the eyes. "actually, the day off today would be perfect."

without noticing (as you've been flipping through the papers), you look up at nam joon and give him a hopeful looks. "hey, i did just wrap up with a client... and it's friday..."

nam joon laughs at your cuteness. "go home, ___. enjoy your weekend. your vacation is next wednesday, right? take the extra monday and tuesday off... enjoy your vacation."

your eyes light up for the second time today. jungkook hates it. he hates it even more when you break away from him and give nam joon a half-assed side hug. nam joon catches jungkook's death glare and thinks wow, this guy is ridiculous.

when you pull away, you excuse yourself to sign the papers and quickly look through it. when you finish signing and reading through, you hand the paper back to nam joon and join zion.

jungkook and nam joon watch you hold zion and laugh with the interns. it's an attractive sight, to say the least. you're so good at everything and you always make it look so easy. you're effortlessly funny and ambitious to the point there it's beyond attractive—it's compelling. then, there's the way you laugh. the way you throw your head back is so fucking graceful that the two boys catch each other starstruck.

"i asked her out."

jungkook clenches his jaw. a part of him is in disbelief at how blunt nam joon is. like, who the fuck does he think he is to be saying stupid shit like this? god. the ego on this guy... whatever. jungkook bites nam joon's bait.

"how'd that go?"

"i think you know how it went." nam joon chuckles. it's like he admitted defeat. suddenly the tension is cut and there's space for honesty. hence, nam joon's cue to confess.

"i always thought she was pretty. when she started at the firm, i wanted to ask her out but quickly found out she was in a relationship with you... not only that, but i think i met her when zion was only 1. i moved on. it wasn't that serious and honestly, she was so happy with you... then, you two split or whatever... and it took me 3 months to ask her out. when she said yes, i couldn't believe it. so, of course, i had this whole date planned. i reserved a rooftop table for us. i had the chef make a new menu for us... then, she stood me up. she told me she wasn't ready and that sometimes, it feels like it's hard for her to catch her breath. like she needs air and she wasn't ready to move on because she hasn't exactly given up yet... and that's okay with me. it was never about me anyway... since the beginning, i just wanted to be there for her."

nam joon exchanges a look with jungkook.

jungkook's throat feels dry.

"it's you, isn't it? you're her air."

zion falls asleep on the drive home.

when you arrive at jungkook's, you carry zion in while jungkook carries your bags. jungkook's place is tidy and you can tell he spent more effort into making it more aesthetically appealing for you. he took out scented candles and prepared towels and slippers for you by the bed. the studio looks more spacious in general.. you wonder what changed but you're also too exhausted to care.

"wanna do take out for dinner?"

"sure," you say as you place zion on the bed. "i'll probably wake him up in an hour. did you see how social he was with the interns? felt like he was about to run away and marry one of them."

jungkook snorts. "i'm guessing zion hasn't told you about his daycare girlfriend yet, huh?"

your eyes widen.

your heart drops.

"he has a what?"

jungkook bursts into laughter. "oh my god! ___, y-your face! god, you're such a mom now. this is so crazy..."

you attack jungkook. hitting his chest and tickling his underarms. "are you kidding me? don't joke about him it like that! my heart literally—"

"you honestly think i would let my son have a girlfriend before i get mine back?"

you pause.

"you're annoying."

jungkook laughs even harder. "i know! too bad you had a baby with me."

you roll your eyes at him. then, he tugs you close and sways you back and forth. "don't be mad. you're just hungry. grab my phone and order dinner."

pushing him away, you head over to the kitchen island where he left his phone. taking it, you stare at the lock screen. it's a picture of you and zion.

"what's your password?"

"hasn't changed."

oh.

okay..

you feel your heart race as you type in your birthdate.

jungkook watches and as you scroll through his phone. as you choose a restaurant, countless notifications begin to ring in from his groupchat with his friends.

"jungkook, your friends are texting—"

"ignore it. i already told them i'm not coming," he says, as he ties his already neat living room. "you're ordering us korean food, right? can you get me some—"

"it's yoongi's goodbye party... isn't that important?"

jungkook whines. "he'll be back! i don't get why he has to have a party."

"he's leaving for 1 year? dude, this is important!" you urge him, walking over and passing him his phone. "you're going! it's just one night. zion and i are fine here."

"... i don't want to go. i want to be home with you."

"i'll be here when you get back," you laugh. "and is this about yoongi's girlfriend? damn, he really said fuck long distance."

jungkook sighs. "at least him and his girl are together. feels like we're ldr—"

"not everything is about you, jungkook." you tease. "come on! go be a guy and have fun with your friends. tell yoongi i'm happy for him."

truth be told, you've always liked jungkook's friends. they were always so kind and soft-spoken. the chaotic ones like jimin and taehyung are single handedly zion's favourites. yours are the hyungs... yoongi especially.

"what?" jungkook scoffs. "jealous? your precious yoongi is in love with someone else."

"yes," you play along. "completely heartbroken, actually. wanna be my rebound?"

jungkook's gaze lowers.

"i hate that. don't say shit like that again."

you laugh hard, trying to lighten the mood. you make crying faces at jungkook and tease him. he ignores you, heading to the bathroom to get ready. you annoy him as he begins to get ready. he stays silent, letting you act cute. at one point, you sit on the sink and block him for seeing his reflection in the mirror. you fix his hair and pinch his cheeks. then, you kiss him and smile against his lips when he kisses you back.

when he gets carried away with the kiss, you jump off the sink and practically push him out the door. he asks for one kiss goodbye and you give in. jungkook promises to be home soon and tells you that tomorrow you guys should go to the aquarium or something. you agree and continue to push him out the door.

he stalls.

you laugh and get annoyed.

he kisses you one more time before really, truly, and finally going.

jungkook's mission is to show up, drink whatever shots they give him, and hurry home to you. he'll take the hits and swallow every raging question they have about your weird on-and-off-again relationship. he'll take the commentary and he'll soak in the empathy his friends water him in. he'll get irritated when they question why you're taking so long to get back together with him and he'll probably cry on the way home... doesn't matter though because this time, he'll come home to you.

jungkook wouldn't have it any other way.

1am is when jungkook comes home.

you wake up to him unlocking the door and stumbling to the bathroom. he manages to shower and you giggle at the moments he bangs into things and the whines follow. shortly, he makes his way to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of water.

sneaking out of bed, you open his nearby closet and grab a shirt for him.

that's right.

he's tipsy, freshly showered, and shirtless.

the dream, right?

"jungkook, here—"

"oh my god."

sleepily, you squint at him. "what?"

"you're so pretty."

sighing, you shove his shirt to his chest. he giggles, taking the shirt and thanking you. he puts it on and continues to drink more water. you look around his counters and spot his medicine tray. walking over, you search and find medicine to help with the obvious hangover to come. handing it to him, he smiles at you sleepily and takes it.

as he swallows the medicine, you rub your eyes and wake up a bit more.

"your mom came by."

jungkook groans. "and what? did she nag you to tell me to eat my meals?"

you snort, hitting his shoulder. "she told me to hurry up and marry you."

jungkook chuckles.

"for once, i agree with my mom."

"yeah?"

"yeah."

jungkook moves closer to you and stretches his neck. he looks for zion and furrows his eyebrows in confusion when he realizes zion is no where to be found.

"hey ___... where's our son?"

"your mom took him after dinner. he's sleeping over. said to pick him up whenever," you explain. "she said to rest and get married or something.”

"oh," jungkook yawns. "is that it? are we getting married tomorrow?"

you can't help but play along. smirking, you tell him; "you'd like that a lot, wouldn't you?"

jungkook chuckles. "i'd like you to quit your job more actually."

"wow! are you this drunk?" you giggle. "mad brave for saying that."

he glares at you. "i make enough to support all of us. you're unhappy with the firm? quit and take your time looking for a new one. quit being a lawyer for all i care. start your own firm and use my card to pay for it. i don't care."

gasping, your cheeks flush red. "you're so fucking drunk."

"i'm not drunk."

"right," you yield. "if you were drunk, you'd be trying to have sex with me right now."

he squints at you. "drunk sex isn't my favourite."

slightly offended and surprised, you ask, "really? what's your favourite then?"

without hestiation, jungkook answers you.

"morning sex."

"really?"

"i love waking up next to you. i love how easy it is... don't get me wrong, the freaky shit we do is great! i just think the laziness and warmth of morning sex between us is like.. 100 times more intimate and i miss that, you know? i miss being close to you."

jungkook's confession moves you in a way that you've never expected his words to. sure, he says things that throw you off... but you've never known about this. no wonder he was always so adamant on morning sex all these years. honestly, he probably impregnated you with zion during one of those morning sex sessions. it slipped your mind though... and maybe that's exactly it. he's right. morning sex has always been effortless and natural between you two. it's always been easy and so fucking good.

you miss it too.

then, jungkook say another thing.

“i also miss coffee in the morning with you.”

“where did that come from?”

“i bought a nespresso.”

huffing, you make a confession. “ohh.. i don’t drink much coffee these days. don’t know if i even like it anymore.”

“i know,” he tells you, eyes glossy. “when did you stop?”

for some reason, you have a gut feeling he isn’t talking about coffee anymore… and it stings. you aren’t too sure of what to say or do… so you make the most of it and you redirect the conversation.

“did something change in here, by the way?” you ask, looking around. “it feels different.”

jungkook thinks for a moment.

“i got rid of a drawer… emptied it cos the clothes inside went to your place.”

“ohh…” you snicker. “that’s… yeah—“

out of nowhere, jungkook blurts; “i love you a lot.”

you nod. “i love you a lot too.”

“___, i hate being broken up with you,” he laughs. “it’s the worst. like, it’s not even that it’s exhausting… it’s that… it’s so sad. i just.. i don’t get it, you know! what am i supposed to do?”

“i don’t know either,” you choke out. “i’m sorry.”

defeated, he sighs.

“i know. it’s okay… i don’t blame you. plus, i’ve been doing pretty good with the whole winning you back thing, right?”

you laugh.

he does too.

then, a silence falls upon you two. it’s nothing intense or tense for that matter… just a little comforting. to simply soak in each others presence is another blessing jungkook is thankful for.

"can i ask you something else?" jungkook inches closer to you. you let him. soon, his hands are on top of yours and he's standing right in front of you.

looking up at him, you tilt your head and offer a soft smile.

"are we over?" he asks, voice shaking. "are we really over? cos it doesn't feel like it."

"what does over mean?" you ask in return.

he shakes his head at you. "what’s up with lawyers and avoiding questions? fuck, ___… don't change the subject."

"i'm not changing the subject," you defend yourself. "i'm asking you... what does over mean to you?"

jungkook doesn't have an answer.

tongue-tied, the best he can do is say; "whatever over means... it's not this. it's not us... and honestly? if you don't know what it means... then it's not over. we're not really over. yay."

"yay?"

"shut up." he hisses. "i'm tired. i love you. i'm sad my mom took zion. i wanted us to wake up as a family."

you pout, instantly feeling like a horrible person for giving zion away so easily to his grandma. "awh, poor daddy."

jungkook rubs his eyes, pretending to cry. you laugh, shoving him playfully. he joins your laughter before sighing deeply.

"the guys miss you."

for some reason, these 4 words make your heart ache.

"i miss them too."

"miss them enough to get back together with me?" jungkook attempts, wiggling his eyebrows. "yoongi says if his girlfriend dumps him and you never get back together with me... he'll come in and steal you from me. he said he can't wait to be zion's step-dad."

you laugh for the nth time.

"it's not funny," jungkook cries. "i almost punched my best friend cos i was so pissed."

you aren't worried in the slightest. jungkook's friends have always been good at handling him and because they're good at handling him.. they know exactly how much to push and pull before he acts a certain way.

"you're a good dad," you admit to him. taking his hand, you rub your thumbs against his skin. he looks at you lovingly, more than ready to believe whatever you have to say to him.

"you're always the first to zion's events and always know how to put him to sleep. he asks for you more than you know. i never thought that the whole 'my dad is my hero' thing was real until you two bonded. he copies everything you do and everything you are. he's kind and thoughtful. he's funny in ways that take away my exhaustion. jungkook, you are the best dad there is. i don't say thank you enough for doing everything you do for zion. i appreciate you, truly. you're the best thing to have ever happened in my life. truth is, i don't think i could have anyone else's babies. you're it."

right then and there, jungkook feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders. he isn't sure if he has completely sobered up or if it's because of everything you just said.

he then dips his head low and you tiptoe to kiss him.

against your lips, he smiles and murmurs;

"we're so not over."

when jungkook wakes up, you're naked.

you climb onto him, laughing as he rubs his eyes dramatically to make sure this isn't a dream. as you throw your head back, he places his hands around your back and pushes your body close. he kisses your breasts to up your neck. then finally, your lips.

it's slow and so fucking french.

bonjour, mon amour.

it doesn't take long for jungkook to take his shirt off and slide out of his shorts and underwear. without warning, you slip his dick inside of you. it's easy. his morning wood has not and did not disappoint.

inside you, he moans at the feeling.

so soft.

so tight.

so fucking good.

you place your hands on top of his lower abdomen to stabilize the way you grind on him. as his dick is inside of you, you feel it twitch and harden with each second you grind yourself on him. harder and harder, jungkook grunts at the sight of your pretty folds just smashing and leaking all over him.

as you lose your breath, you bring your hands back. placing them on his upper thighs, you take this opportunity to ride him sensually. moving your hips back and forth (and a little up and down), jungkook watches as his entire cock is being eaten up by you. god, he loves the view. he places his hands on your waist, helping and guiding the way you move.

you moan.

"f-fuck... feels so good, jungkook. you're so big. so fucking b-big—a-ahh! ah, ah, ahhh.. f-fuck!"

jungkook rubs your clit.

his eyebrows furrowed, eyes on you, and his mouth is slightly agape. he's so into it. he loves the way you're reacting to his touch and he loves the way your pussy clenches to his cock.

“prettiest cunt,” he pants. “h-holy shit. so fucking swollen. look at that! a-arghhh.. my pretty woman, ohhh! f-fuck, i love you.”

“i l-love you too, honey.”

jungkook loves the way you say it. it makes him feel some type of way.. his stomach twists and turns. he feels like his dick is about to explode.

after a few moments, you feel yourself approaching your climax. fuck, he was right... morning sex was easy. at this pace, he could easily drag this... or he could let you cum and do it over and over again.

just when you're about to tell him you're close, he takes a hold of you and switches. jungkook rolls you to your back and keeps himself inside you while doing so. towering over you, you giggle at the position change.

"what? a naked woman on top of you wasn't enough?"

he rolls his eyes.

"morning sex is my favourite," jungkook grunts. "let me have this."

you smile at him. "whatever... i was close, just so you know. now you have to start over. i feel like i lost the high."

jungkook laughs before leaning in and kissing you. he kisses you so fucking good you squeeze his ass. in response, he rolls his hips, digging himself deeper in you. you moan and he takes the opportunity to kiss your neck. bringing his kisses to the back of your ear, he hums; "that's okay, honey. i can show you what devotion is."

jungkook is no liar.

he does exactly as he says.

he fucks you he's missed you for years. he knows when to drag out the orgasm and when to give it to you. he fucks you with your legs over his shoulders. he fucks you doggy style, hitting inside you so deep... he lets you ride him again and this time, he goes crazy with groping your breasts and playing with your nipples.

morning sex with jungkook is everything you remembered and more. it was warm and easy. it was cozy, sloppy, and messy at the same time... but it felt good. to wake up beside him and have him right away... yeah. it felt good.

to be able to laugh and kiss beneath the sheets. to be tangled with one another and greeted by the gentle sunlight. to be together and to feel the love between you two… well, it feels like home.

jungkook cums a whopping 3 times and prioritizes your 5 leg-shaking orgasms.

when you tell him you want to suck his dick to even the score, he jokes and tells you that he has jerked off to your selfies almost every day for the past week. you tell him it's gross and if that was the case; it would've been better to film a sex tape or something.

jungkook laughs and reminds you that he has the baby monitor on. he'll just watch the playback when he misses you.

you tell him he's gross but take his phone and give it to him. you lay underneath him as he places his dick on your lips. you kiss it, holding the length with your small hands. jungkook cums almost 3 minutes into the hand/blow job (loser alert). quickly, he takes a picture of his cum over your face.

"there," you say, licking the cum off. "you have the baby monitor sex tape and that picture. jerk off all you want... we're even now."

"no need," jungkook laughs. "you're here for a week or so, honey."

the day passes by with a quick shower (together) and brunch. he cooks his heart-shaped pancakes and you cut up fruit. you two sit and watch the accidental sex tape you two made through the baby monitor and laugh at how stupid you two look.

when you two finish, you clean up and get ready to pick up zion together. with plans to cafe hop, jungkook opts to drive and take his car. you agree and follow through.

as he starts the engine and gets to driving, the sun shines at his face. he squints.

"can you get my sunglasses, please? they're in there," jungkook points at the glove compartment. you nod and open it. easily, you find jungkook's sunglasses and hand it to him.

as he puts it on and as you're about to shut the glove compartment, you see it.

tiffany & co

jungkook does a double take. then, he decides... fuck it.

"do you want to see it?" he asks, trying to decipher if you were about to freak out or not.

instead, you purse your lips and take a deep breath through your nose in.

"it's yours," jungkook adds. "do you want to put it on? for fun or whatever?"

"maybe not today," you tell him with a gentle tone. though, truth be told, you were curious... but you didn't want to feed in and wear the ring unless you were ready to actually marry him. plus, where's the magic if you look at the ring right now?

"someday?"

"someday."

he'll take that.

jungkook reaches for your hand and you give it to him. he kisses it before placing his hand on your thigh. you feel so high school but it's also such a relief.

he continues to drive and you think about it.

you think about everything... how he has and will be the only man you've ever love(d). how you can't see anyone else being the father of your child(ren). how when you think of home, you only see him. how complicated you've been and how patient he's been... and it's then, at exactly 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days when the feeling sinks in.

then, you think about it some more.

you really think about it..

by the end of the car ride, you know.

you know.

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ninglush · 2 months

Text

baby daddy jk has my heart 🫶🏽

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (9) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ *nsfw*

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: some smut. some angst. some fluff <3

🏷️ permanent taglist:

@joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

when you arrive home, zion is fast asleep in jungkook's arms.

you tiptoe towards them and kiss zion's forehead. he shifts a bit but jungkook automatically pats his bum. he's literally asleep, yet his daddy senses are on. you aren't sure why, but your heart tugs at the sight... that's okay, right? for you to feel some type of way when you see them asleep together in your bed?

jungkook and zion truly look so alike.

from their doe-eyes to jungkook's cheeks—even their freaking hair! you can't help it. whenever zion gets hair cuts, he looks like a little man. a mini jungkook... and who wouldn't want that? jungkook has and will always be the most handsome to you.

yet, zion acts exactly like you. it's like the biggest bite in the ass ever. his pickiness and sensitivity root from you. the way he compromises and admits defeat (rarely) are completely you. his sweetness is copied by you but his cheekiness is definitely from jungkook.

zion is the perfect mix.

sometimes your heart aches. sometimes your heart fills up with joy. sometimes it makes you second-guess everything. sometimes it gives you gentle clarity.

"where's my kiss?" jungkook murmurs, eyes still closed.

your lips curve into a tired smile.

"have you guys been sleeping in my bed for the past 2 nights?"

jungkook rubs his eyes, sitting up. he then pulls his arm away from underneath zion's head. "yeah. he wouldn't sleep on his bed and i couldn't sleep on the couch. sorry, did i overstep—"

"no," you interrupt him. "what's mine is yours. it's always been like that."

he nods.

"still waiting for my kiss..."

you roll your eyes but give in. jungkook purses his lips, waiting for yours. instead, you kiss his forehead and pinch his cheeks.

"can you put him back in his room? i've been sleep training him to be more independent... and i miss my bed. he usually climbs into bed with me by 7am anyway."

sleepily, he complies with your request.

as he leaves with zion in his arms, you grab your flimsy nightgown from your closet and go to shower. then, as you step into your bathroom, you think about your closet... it definitely was a mess when you left.. yet, everything is folded so nicely. did he organize it up for you?

huh.

as you turn the water on and step in, you can't help but wonder what will happen tonight. sure, the nightgown is an obvious tell to jungkook that you're down to fuck—but aside from that... you wonder what else he could say or do tonight that will have you tossing and turning.

truth be told, the 2 nights away that was filled with work was exhausting. like, so beyond tiring that you felt miserable. it was so weird to be indulged in work and not come home to your boys... not that jungkook has been home with you since the separation; but the thought of it... it just... it felt good.

for the first time in a while, you felt it.

the want to be together.

as in, the desire to be a family in one house... all together... all over again.

it shook you to your core.

but there was also a relief that overcame your mind. you've never been the type to fight peace anyway (which is also why you asked for a separation 8 months ago... because you didn't feel any back then).

perhaps the poets are right.

time changes things.

people change.

... and so does love.

jungkook has a fistful of your nightgown while you have a fistful of his hair.

his tongue has been nothing short of perfection against your clit. there isn't a single inch of your pussy he hasn't devoured. he does it so well too. what you said was true... him eating you out is never relaxing.

of course, jungkook knew how to tease the shit out of you. how to drag your orgasms and make you last as long as possible. if he felt mean, he'd do it until you cried from how much your pussy throbbed from the edging. god, he was so mean sometimes.

but tonight, he's so nice to you.

he flicks his tongue at all the right spots. you squirm and all he does is wrap his arms around your legs and tug you closer. moving your pelvis to the rhythm of his licks; you feel yourself tighten and the need to close your legs. so, you do so. you close your legs, burying his face deep into you.

jungkook loves it.

god, he fucking loves this.

he eats you out like there's no tomorrow. he slurps you up as if you're the freshest thing to drink. he spits in between his sucking (completely unnecessary. you're literally drenching your sheets already) because he knows you feel it. you feel the heat of his saliva and the way it drips down your folds. how nasty it must make you feel because you like it so much.

again, jungkook loves this.

"that's it, honey..." he praises you. "doing so good. so fucking pretty—y-you're just the prettiest, aren't you? you know that, right? the absolute prettiest."

"s-shut up!"

"come on! ... my little starfish," jungkook chuckles. "say you're mine and i'll let you cum tonight."

you attempt to shoot him a glare. "t-thought you're gonna b-be nice to me tonight..."

he shrugs, reaching up and brushing the sweaty strand of hair off your forehead. "i'm whatever you want me to be."

you don't answer him. instead, you moan and murmur; "fine.. fine. yours. i'm yours."

sigh.

he loves this.

he loves you.

there is literally no other way of putting it.

he loves every hair pull you accidentally jolt to doing. he loves the way you mumble his name in between hitched breaths. he loves the way you watch as his head bobs up and down, right and left, and right in the middle. he loves the way you react to his nose, gliding and causing your pussy to pulsate like crazy. he loves the way you gasp when he slips his fingers inside you and the way your walls tighten around him.

it's everything.

to see you completely fall apart against his touch. to feel the way you let go of his hair and search for his hands, intertwine them, and need them the way you do. to see you come so undone; you release everything you have. you squirt, making a mess on his fingers. your gasps come out like stutters, but your moans take over.

a huge relief is lifted off your shoulders.

you can always count on jungkook for the most mind-blowing orgasm. he just knows your body so well. he does it so good. he's so good to you.

as you catch your breath, jungkook gets up to grab a towel from your cabinet. he returns to you, wiping your inner thighs and then your folds. he then lifts you up a bit to place the towel underneath. without an exchange of words, you open your arms and he collapse in them.

there, you two lay.

his head is on your chest as you play with his hair.

mumbling against your skin, he asks; "what time is it?"

"like.. 1am?"

"oh," jungkook yawns. "kinda early."

though it's true, you know you aren't as young as before. before, you two used to leave the house at 1am... now, with zion's routine and your career; you were usually asleep by 11pm.

"you're gonna regret saying that when zion comes in at 7am and jumps on the bed." you laugh, tugging on his hair a bit. "and when he demands for pancakes so you have to get up and cook them—"

"i can cook them."

"i know," you remind him. "you like making them heart-shaped... cos you like to show off."

"cos i love you, actually."

"yeah, yeah."

he chuckles and you kiss the top of his head.

then, a silence falls upon you two. a part of you wonders if he's asleep already and if you should shut your eyes and follow... but then, he speaks.

"are you okay?" jungkook asks you, as gentle as possible. "you just... you seem really stressed these days. you're handling everything well, by the way.. i just want to check up on you... cos i can take zion on the days you're busy, you know? it's no problem. i can also come by and help out in the house—"

"yeah," you think for a moment. "did you do my laundry? i saw everything in my closet was folded."

"i did."

"okay. thank you. you didn't have to."

"i know."

"okay."

jungkook sighs. "so... are you okay?"

you pause.

"should i quit?"

jungkook pulls away from you. he sits up and stares at you.

"are you kidding me?" is all he manages to say even though a million and one things run through his mind. "is that what you really want to do?"

"i d-don't..." you shake your head, eyes beginning to gloss with tears. "i just.. i feel so drained? like i'm not here for zion enough.. like i'm not present in moments with him. sometimes i cook breakfast without even realizing i'm burning the food because i'm daydreaming of a different life—i d-don't know. i don't know anymore. i'm so tired of winning all the time too. does that even... does that even make sense?"

jungkook looks at you sincerely. with all his heart, he can feel your pain and wants to do anything and everything to ease it. he knew something was up with you. he fucking knew it. you were like this before you asked for a break. you were like this when your best friend moved away. you were like this before graduating from law school.

it's a lot.

he knows it.

you have a lot on your plate and you've always been on the go. jungkook has been fortunate enough to have had time in his career and projects to pace himself... whereas you've always been the best of the best. the demands are crazy and coming home to wanting to be the best mom possible (which you are) must be completely exhausting.

he can't imagine how stressed you must be. he can't imagine what it's like to be you. he can't imagine what it's like to not be with you in moments like these.

"hey," he reaches out for you. you tighten your lips before burying your face to his chest. he wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and easing your mind with his words. "you're brilliant, you know that? you have completely paved such a life for zion. you did it for yourself too... and it's tiring. i can't imagine how tired you are, honey. it's okay to rest and it's okay to need help. it's okay to put things down and it's okay to pick them up again when you're ready. you don’t have to do big things just because you’re capable of it… doing the right small things is good too. it’s more than enough, actually. ___, if you want to quit, if you want to lose, if you want to not want anything—so be it. do it all or do nothing at all... do it and let me be beside you through it all. i'm always going to believe in everything you do. i'm always going to give you what you need. i don’t want you to burn out. i’m here to protect you, you know? i'm always just... going to be... and you're... you're always going to—"

"shut up." you place your finger on his lips. "c-can you just hold me tonight or something? put me to sleep."

"okay, baby. should i sing you a lullaby too?" he chides as he kisses the top of your head. a little sleepy, he shuts his eyes as he rests his chin on top. as you pull yourself closer to him, you rest your head on his chest.

"... and can you leave more clothes here?"

jungkook's eyes shoot open. his heart flutters and in every possible way there is; he falls in love with you all over again.

"y-yeah," he clears his throat, attempting to hold himself together. "i can do that. i can leave more clothes here."

"okay," you yawn. "i love you... always."

"always," he repeats. "... forever too! i love you forever."

you snicker, teasing him about how cheesy he is. he laughs, blaming you for starting it. soon, you two talk about each other's day and little things zion does that make your heart glow. suddenly, then all at once, you two fall asleep.

it's beautiful, isn't it?

to be falling in love at the same time (once again).

you were right.

not that jungkook doubted you or anything—but you were right.

zion climbed into bed with you two at 7am. his eyes were barely open as he dragged mr kookie along with him. a few whines escaped his lips as he's frustrated and half asleep. to soothe his son, jungkook pulls him in and wraps him in his embrace.

you're still asleep when this happens but the slight movements make you responsive. shifting, you put your arm around jungkook and nuzzle yourself into the crook of his neck. he stretches his neck and kisses your forehead. then, he turns to his other side and does the same to zion.

zion then lets out a sleepy giggle from jungkook's kiss. his eyes are fluttering shut, but it's obvious he's fighting the sleepiness.

"dada?"

"mhm?"

mid yawn, zion asks; "you stay?"

"i'm staying."

jungkook breathes this moment in and holds you and zion tighter. he can't believe how lucky he is. how blessed he is for this second chance. how happy he is for this new beginning.

he’s so grateful for his forever and always.

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