ninajyu - Tumblr blog

[ninajyu]

It's summer! IT'S SUMMER!!! I need to keep reminding myself of that. The answer is easy. Megan Boni lmao. Will I turn into a Hufflepuff? There is a very specific square neck corset bustier top I am looking for. Paul Mescal, I am obseeeeessed with you. Taking an undetermined pause from Bach, the Bridgerton soundtrack, Paula Abdul, and Celine Dion. Green juice and pilates, don't @ me. It creeps up when least expected and maybe that's how it will be for a while. Prayers up to the highest of heavens and to the depths of the soul. Everyone is deserving of big love. So much respect for the mail carriers in this heat! All that we need, He is. Fleece shorts. It is so challenging to do even the smallest thing right now. The Olympic trials have been chef's kiss muah muah muah.

[ninajyu]

Have passport, will must travel. Back strengthening. The Dior Book Tote Club. Day 3 of caffeine weaning was day 0 of Advil which was a promising sign and not getting coffee on a 6am flight, well by George. Does makeup function as a protective cloak from further sun damage? Turns out, the vibes mattered. ~Golden Mind~ Did someone say... raw vegan cheesecake? Tiredness comes in all different shapes and sizes. "Wealth." I watch one SNL skit from 7 years ago and all of a sudden, I only see semi-vintage SNL skits in my feed which either suggests that I consume that little YT or the algorithm is of the obsessive kind. Acupressure yay or nay. Booooooks.

[ninajyu]

There's nothing quite like seeing, hearing, and witnessing how accepting and supportive children can be. They are capable of understanding and feeling such big things, we just need to be patient enough to explain it to them and listen to them.

—random social media post

[ninajyu]

Thankful Thursday 227

That mom and baby were safe. That I arrived home in one, unharmed piece. That I remembered to book my pilates class this morning. That somehow, my phone battery lasted the whole day. That there is tomorrow, where I will I will I will make cinnamon rolls!!

[ninajyu]

Thankful Thursday 226

For who is God, but the Lord?     And who is a rock, except our God?—

—Psalm 18:31

But I was a sobbing mess with the whole psalm, no doubt

[ninajyu]

Thankful Thursday 225

Over a year since the last one, which is telling in some way. Today:

My mom's voice when she answered the phone this morning

The reminder that making this decision is a privilege

The purity of Luke 16:10

How the sweet and sour tofu bowl showed UP. Aaaaand the miso coconut cream mushroom uDON~!

Finding out the difference between toothpaste fluorides

Lé resistance band

The smell of garlic cooking

[ninajyu]

On 2023

It was nice to clean up my personal inbox, to take inventory of the year, and for the last few days of 2023, let my mind wander about what I learned as I attempted to summarize it in advance of 2024.

Honestly, 2023 was pretty terrible. I mean, truly uniquely unfortunate. Pronounced failure, mysterious health challenges and absurd injuries, and dear losses are at the top of the charts. But there were these crystalline points that I could pick up right in those hellish moments. Or I'd feel things so intimately distinct and other, exactly in that moment, that I knew there was something that simply needed language applied.

And as the year was winding down, I felt a surge inside--to work heartily, and to be absolutely unstoppable in it. There was no magical work ethic that magically appeared on Jan 1. It was simply the train continuing course.

But 2023 taught me that this motivation can be like a fling. Ephemeral, shriveled up in the face of circumstance, pulseless at the snap of imbalanced hormones. So I'm just trying to take steward this and hope that maybe, just maybe, it'll stay a while longer.

A few other lessons learned but chiefly, without Christ, I can exist but it's such a paler version when compared to the adventure-filled, favor-drenched, others-focused, and empowered self that I walk as when He is my cornerstone and shepherd--my All in all. I cannot lose my Everything.

This year, my only resolution is to lotion my feet more frequently. That's important! And floss. Oh boy, do I need to be more consistent about that, too. And to seek Him with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength.

[ninajyu]

Light and life to all He brings Risen with healing in His wings

—Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, George Whitefield's adaptation of Charles Wesley's original Hymn for Christmas-Day

[ninajyu]

Justice and mercy, healing and redemption, are your great labors.

—Douglas McKelvey, A Liturgy for Those Flooded by Too Much Information

[ninajyu]

In the business for a big tea mug. I feel so disconnected and connected all at once. Jeanssss. Odd weather reinforces that autumn is a feeling as much as it's a season! This week's great experiment is to see how my skin and bowels respond to cheese... At the center of my awareness. The place where time seems to fly by. It's been so lovely to get more steps in~~~ Compassion. Where did all of my rings go?

[ninajyu]

In the darkness we were waiting Without hope without light Till from heaven You came running There was mercy in Your eyes To fulfill the law and prophets To a virgin came the Word From a throne of endless glory To a cradle in the dirt Praise the Father Praise the Son Praise the Spirit three in one God of glory Majesty Praise forever to the King of Kings To reveal the kingdom coming And to reconcile the lost To redeem the whole creation You did not despise the cross For even in Your suffering You saw to the other side Knowing this was our salvation Jesus for our sake You died And the morning that You rose All of heaven held its breath Till that stone was moved for good For the Lamb had conquered death And the dead rose from their tombs And the angels stood in awe For the souls of all who’d come To the Father are restored And the Church of Christ was born Then the Spirit lit the flame Now this gospel truth of old Shall not kneel shall not faint By His blood and in His Name In His freedom I am free For the love of Jesus Christ Who has resurrected me

—Hillsong Worship, King of Kings

[ninajyu]

Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise... If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world...

Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.

—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

[ninajyu]

I have been longing for Jesus.

I've come to find that so much of my own lexicon of encouragement, comfort, and edification relies on pointing the arrow towards Christ. It's been challenging to color? expand? this language without feeling that in some way, I'm actually diluting or altogether forsaking the essence. I've also come to find that the pinnacle of peace and self-confidence comes while in the will, in the shadow, of Christ.

So this longing has been fueled by what appears to be a diminishment of my very own substance. A distance from the sine qua non of my life.

I have been longing for Jesus.

[ninajyu]

Encouragement is an elixir that goes deeper than perhaps the giver intends. I’m a noodle girl, in a noodle world. Yes, the library. It’s pretty easy to inhale a pound of strawberries in one sitting right now. Tube tops. Diamonds. Tea and candles. Less coffee, more ashwaganda. Boom.

[ninajyu]

I should feel discouraged, embarrassed, and annihilated. Instead, I feel... I feel so free. Honestly, I feel light. How can failure make you feel that?

[ninajyu]

At times a trip feels too preemptive, too indulgent, too impossible, but the last few days are signaling to me just how necessary it is now the question is how to take one for $0. That iced oat milk latte was not the move. It’s always about trust, isn’t it. That You’d send that along simultaneously humbles me and makes me come face to face with the root of my reluctance. Where are my sunglasses? Just bit into a cube of sugar, I mean a *strawberry* wow! 

[ninajyu]

The forecast has no more rain for the foreseeable future and surprisingly a little bummed by that aaaaand puzzled by how it’s colder now than when it was raining. Bulgari serpenti, Cartier tank. As much as I enjoy cooking, what I’d appreciate more for the next month and a half is someone to cook my meals for me. Asking all the questions. There are so many feel good shows/movies coming out this year yayyyy. It would be great to lean my full bed down to a twin. Getting an analog alarm clock to minimize phone distractions. Lots of black lately which reminds me of New York days, and then hearing Tina Turner’s What’s Love Got to Do with It sent. me. It’s serious time!!! Them chunky rings from Loren Stewart. When people say a portable speaker is a must, it’s hard to relate. A bit homesick. Less shortness of breath and generally feeling like my physical capacity is finally returning. A shift? I think so... Cute quirky cups and dinnerware. Do something everyday. Thinking about the future has me thinking about the past. Nice scents.