nimcoconut

[nimcoconut]

worst part of reading choices is the constant what if's i keep asking myself. what if dumbledore had got them out of there? what if regulus had fallen in love with james sooner? what if sirius had taken him with him that day? what if he had just gone with james after the ministry attack? what if he had just stayed at hogwarts? what if he had brought cerci to the cave? what if what if what if.

[nimcoconut]

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

[nimcoconut]

the thing is, jegulus makes perfect sense to me genuinely. And I understand the gripes that people have with it, so i'm going to try and outline my thought process. i could talk about how good of a ship this is for HOURS.

• Regulus and James would have constantly been in each other's orbit at Hogwarts. Think about it. They're both on the Hogwarts quidditch teams (regardless of if jenes was a seeker or chaser ik it's up for debate) we all know how serious James Potter took quidditch. they would've been marking each other in games, taking notes of tactics etcetc. Plus with Sirius being James' best friend he would've been even more acutely aware of Regulus, like come on. If nothing else, then because of the arguments the black brothers would get into at hogwarts. And the stories Sirius would tell him in their first few years at Hogwarts, because hello, before Sirius went to Hogwarts who was his closest ally? who did he survive an abusive home life with? REGULUS. so james knew of him, DEFINITELY was introduced to him on the hogwarts express during second year (before slyhtherin sorting).

• James being Sirius' best friend and ultimately in Regulus' eyes, the person who replaced him as Sirius' best friend. He would've resented him, because before him and Sirius fell apart, they were all each other had and SUDDENLY sirius has this other rock, this but that he admires so much. You're telling me he wouldn't be raging at being replaced? On high alert of awareness, not only for his brother that he was steadily losing but on his best friend who replaced him???? the tension?? hello?? And once they got to know each other and he has that "oh so this is what he saw in you. oh wow" Moment??

•James potter, sunshine reincarnate, who believed in others even when it came to his own detriment would 100% try to save regulus. Believe he could. A lot of people say this doesn't fit James' character because he "wouldn't lie to his friends" But I think you guys are putting him in a box. I think he's just as capable of keeping a secret as anyone else. Especially when he thinks it's for a bigger purpose.

•I love the idea of a love greater than Regulus' loyalties to his families being what inspired him to take the horcrux. Like The symmetry of both Black brothers being guided by James into the light?? That his love saves them both in different ways?? How is it not the perfect ship.

Enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, regulus falling first but james falling harder, the COMPLICATED nature of it. how much of this is vindictiveness towards sirius and trying to take something away from him, of reclaiming and how much is just pure admiration for someone so good and selfless? How much is this about James' saviour complex? You anti jegulus people are not seeing the bigger picture.

ALSO HOW IS IT ANY DIFFERENT TO DRARRY??? Its the PERFECT foil to drarry. Because this truly is a world where history repeats itself. Pressured into the dark arts by his family's expectations but couldn't stomach pushing through when it actually came down to it? And his beautiful sunshine boyfriend who embodies the GOOD in the world despite everything. Give me 10 more of it right now.

[nimcoconut]

nothing on my mind except how during their relationship all james was thinking about was how happy he is to just be with Regulus and then in Regulus' POV he's just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and convincing himself he needs to leave.

[nimcoconut]

grieving regulus black harder than i've ever grieved any family death or friendship breakup.

[nimcoconut]

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

[nimcoconut]

this is literally wolfstar.

new ship dynamic called schrodinger’s divorce where characters are simultaneously bitterly divorced and fondly married for twenty years

[nimcoconut]

YOU'RE NOT. I LOVE U TOO. he literally made me so makes me so mad holy shit. Both in choices AND i'm canon they let him get away with too fucking much just cause he was the "leader" of the good side

If I could fist fight Dumbledore right now I’d do it

[nimcoconut]

and win. that scrawny ass bitch is more beard than muscle.

If I could fist fight Dumbledore right now I’d do it

[nimcoconut]

his mother's fears coming true oh just let me end it all god

james telling remus they will always have his back and he will never be alone and after everything happens it’s remus of all people who ends up all alone, with best friends dead and a soulmate to blame. fuck. that hurt. 

[nimcoconut]

i’m reading choices by messermoon right now and i know the ending is going to be unbelievably painful, heck, it already hurts so much right now and i’m only halfway through. but there’s absolutely no way i will stop. i just love the marauders too much. and i just love james and regulus too much. what they have is so fucking beautiful and special. their love for each other is bigger than life. i think that’s why it aches. every scene where they’re with each other, where they’re just happy, sharing a memory and a kiss, makes my chest ache because i know it will end and once it does, it will tear me apart

[nimcoconut]

i just sobbed and hyperventilated over regulus blacks death in choices !!

[nimcoconut]

rewatching gof bc i watched poa in theatres yesterday and am watching ootp in theatres tomorrow. and im getting to the scene where harry goes into the pensieve and goes to the court room. and like i’ve seen this scene many times but. “mr rosier is dead” and it’s like. it’s hitting me bc oh he died in the ministry of magic. the attack on the ministry. where regulus got injured and james went to see him and…like i forget that canon compliant fics take place in canon and that harry potter is canon…therefore these events take place after the fanon canon compliant events. and that regulus black and james potter were in love in this fanon canon universe. and that regulus black was present when evan rosier died and his death being referenced in gof is a reference to the attack on the ministry in choices which is not canon but could exist in canon because choices is canon compliant. and jegulus is real not because jkr wrote them into the canon hp books, but because the magical wizarding universe itself that exists itself is thing and they existed in that universe in choices. so they exist in hp movies too…technically

[nimcoconut]

“All the reminders of the boy he couldn’t save” I think it’d actually be less painful if someone just stabbed me in the chest

[nimcoconut]

rip regulus black you would've loved mitski

rip regulus black you would’ve loved florence + the machine

[nimcoconut]

real asfk i was sitting there with james, blind leading the blind, nodding my head when he said he would NOT let them be doomed.

Violently sobbing over Jegulus breaking up

I know from the beginning Reg told James he couldn’t be saved but wow I didn’t expect it to hurt this bad

[nimcoconut]

"leave the heroics to people who have less to offer the world."

Even in his final moments Regulus Black never fully grasped how fucking important he was, never understood his own worth. He never got the chance to. Because Regulus actually DID have a lot to offer the world. He was a potions prodigy. Outsmarted the 7th year advanced students when he was just a kid, altered the laws of potions magic, making a gaseous potion on the first try. He was an amazing seeker, he was getting scouted before he even left school. Even beyond that, he had so much love to give, quiet hesitant love, but LOVE. He could've been so fucking great if he was released out in the world. He had so much to offer.