nikkosuave

[nikkosuave]

God Forbid

God forbid.

God forbid they mean what they say.

God forbid.

God forbid anything that they portray

Is honest and truthful or less than deceitful.

God forbid our well being or level of consideration is of any concern or worth reciprocation.

Every fucking time you give so much

Is every time they are out of touch

Yet every time you have given up

Is every time they seem to give a fuck.

All of sudden they've been caught...

All of a sudden they've been taught..

It was no fucking problem when you didn't know

It only seems to matter when true colors are shown

Put plainly

They are willing to lie, cheat, and decpt

As long as what you know, won't take effect

They are willing to apologize, change, and reflect

Only when the truth they cannot deflect

Why is it so fucking hard to just be honest with the person you care about.

Why is it so fucking hard for someone to just do the right fucking thing.

It's sickening that the people you are willing to be your most vulnerable with don't appreciate it until it's gone. And even at that point just to do anything to convince you they're not the bad guy, would rather waste your fuckin time than just be straight up.

God forbid.

[nikkosuave]

Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In times of trouble, it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends.

-mh

[nikkosuave]

The City in The Sea

Lo! Death has reared himself a throne

In a strange city lying alone

Far down within the dim West,

Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best,

Have gone to their eternal rest.

There shrines and palaces and towers

Time-eaten towers and tremble not!

Resemble nothing that is ours.

Around, by lifting winds forgot,

Resignedly beneath the sky

The melancholy waters lie.

No rays from the holy Heaven come down

On the long night-time of that town;

But light from out the lurid sea

Streams up the turrets silently—

Gleams up the pinnacles far and free—

Up domes—up spires—up kingly halls—

Up fanes—up Babylon-like walls—

Up shadowy long-forgotten bowers

Of sculptured ivy and stone flowers—

Up many and many a marvellous shrine

Whose wreathed friezes intertwine

The viol, the violet, and the vine.

Resignedly beneath the sky

The melancholy waters lie.

So blend the turrets and shadows there

That all seem pendulous in air,

While from a proud tower in the town

Death looks gigantically down.

There open fanes and gaping graves

Yawn level with the luminous waves;

But not the riches there that lie

In each idol’s diamond eye—

Not the gaily-jewelled dead

Tempt the waters from their bed;

For no ripples curl, alas!

Along that wilderness of glass—

No swellings tell that winds may be

Upon some far-off happier sea—

No heavings hint that winds have been

On seas less hideously serene.

But lo, a stir is in the air!

The wave—there is a movement there!

As if the towers had thrust aside,

In slightly sinking, the dull tide—

As if their tops had feebly given

A void within the filmy Heaven.

The waves have now a redder glow—

The hours are breathing faint and low—

And when, amid no earthly moans,

Down, down that town shall settle hence,

Hell, rising from a thousand thrones,

Shall do it reverence.

-Edgar Allan Poe

[nikkosuave]

Maybe right now, your journey isn't about love.

Maybe right now, your journey is about you. Maybe this is the season you are being challenged to be your own savior.

To be your own safe place.

Maybe right now you're being reminded that the people who walked away were only ever leading you back to yourself,

Were only ever leaving you here.

And here you're okay on your own.

You're rebuilding.

Here, you're adapting and mending and reclaiming all of the pieces you let them walk away with.

Here, you are being kinder to your soul. You are loving yourself.

The same kind of love you have always given to others.

Here, you are not rushing your heart.

You are not depending on another human to fix it.

Instead, here you are doing that on your own.

Here, you are healing.

-Bianca Sparcino

[nikkosuave]

A Toast To Life

Life is a waste of time.

And time is a waste of life.

So let's get wasted all the time,

And have the time of our lives.

🍻🥂

[nikkosuave]

As hard as it is for me to write and share my poetry.... accidently deleting it, when I'm trying to post it, is almost just as painful as what I was trying to share. Additionally, I write and edit on here, not on paper🤦 Lesson learned

RIP "THE SECOND COVERSATION"

Ironically, the accidental metaphoric symbolism of it being erased is suiting to the poem itself.

[nikkosuave]

The Conversation

The moment I saw you standing at the bar, next to the garnishes in jars. I made it a point to get in your line of sight, in hopes that you might simply glance over and lock eyes.

Within minutes, my words widened up your eyes. As I told you, our first date would be a surpise. From there, it was not much time before you agreed and obliged.

Our first date was ecstatic. The measures taken were a little drastic. The connection was fluid and the fact that I picked your favorite number and flowers.. it was magic. You and I both could not believe that I planned it.

I didn't judge on your first mistakes, I actually tried to make you feel comfortable about them. I made it a point to be patient with your situation because I felt you were worth the wait. But as I waited.. and as I waited... and as I waited. Certain aspects felt stronger, but certain distances felt longer. More and more times, I was wronger... I was wonger... I was wronger..

Look.... I GET IT. I am not your ideal subject. I am impulsive, obnoxious, and awkwardly eclectic. I am a degenerate. A degenerate who speaks when he shouldn't and often wishes he wouldn't, puts too much energy into things that need not be prudent.

I know my faults, and you're becoming more aware of yours. Maybe I should have let you go the first time, but that is not the path I chose. I wanted to dig deeper. But as I dug, I was always reassured, you were not ready or you were not steady, because after 5 years your emotions were still heavy.

AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

So,I waited.. and I waited ... and I waited. But as I waited, we began to find comfortablilty in the in-between. A relationship with no means. You expected me to court you and chase you and elate you. As much as I loved to, how could I do that with someone who was already pulling away. Someone positioned in the grey.

I began to feel more like a side fling. So, I tried to focus more on my thing. Did my best to cover up whatever I was feeling. And we can blame it on the timing. That is a major factor. But nothing could take away the fact of, since my ex you have been the ONLY one after.

Now, that is unusual for me. A younger version would have gone on a fucking-spree. But none of this matters. No amount of time, events, or various laughters could have corrected the disconnect that had already occurred. It felt like you were held up and expecting. Which pushed me towards protecting. Protecting and distancing aspects of myself.. when all I desired was to get closer.

Late nights, I finally get time to myself. I finally have time to cuddle and kiss you or at least text you, "I miss you...," but it is too late. Because now you're alseep, so I distract with something else. The urges I allow not to be tested. For if I do, I pull evermore feelings off the shelf. But that is where they belong until it is mutually accepted.

Now, here we are finally having the conversation. It feels good to get off my chest. Honestly, you were right it WAS for the best. Some time soon, your dream career WILL lead you elsewhere. Somewhere, I can not follow. But none of this, none of this, none of this, needs to end in sorrow. I know, I will wake up tomorrow and be unbelievably grateful. Grateful, that I had the opportunity to get to know how amazing you are.

As I promised before, this is not the end. As I promised before, we will always be friends. I would say "maybe another day," but if this is the end, I don't want to pretend. If this is the end, I don't want to pretend.

Life's journey may twist, turn, and bend. However, if at any time you need me, come over, or just pick up the phone. I will always be on the other end.

-N

[nikkosuave]

MATH JOKE

What did one sexually active negative variable say to the multiplied sexually active negative variable?

If tested, we'll be positive.

[nikkosuave]

Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true

Wanted a woman, never bargained for you

Lots of people talk, and few of them know

Soul of a woman was created below

You hurt and abuse, telling all of your lies

Run 'round, sweet baby, Lord, how they hypnotize

Sweet little baby, I don't know where you've been

Gonna love you, baby, here I come again

[nikkosuave]

Smile 😶

Trust and love lie on seat's edge of moral

Action through time may harden the exterior

Yet, inside dwells content far inferior

A simple bend forces the snap of coral

Attemps to reconcile deemed futile

Fore any regrowth thereafter

Shall be followed by ironic laughter...

And all that is left is but a forced smile

And all that is left is but a forced smile

N.

[nikkosuave]

A Toast on the Coast

Here's to the shine and to the rain Heres to the glory and to the shame Heres to the humble and to the vain And may the only pain we experience Be a glass of of champagne.

[nikkosuave]

If you never heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you.

[nikkosuave]

I can't explain or show you how I feel, but I want you to know what we have is real.

You have your walls and I have mine, but I know that I can earn your trust given time.

The beginning has been rough and the fault is my own; things that could have been avoided, I should have known.

I want nothing more than to be with you, all I have to offer is being honest and true.

So, lets move foward and bring what may, Oh, and fuck you for thinking this is gay...

[nikkosuave]

"The Boy Who Destroyed The World"

Once there was boy who had vibrant glow, but as it goes, someone took it from him.

One day through the rain I heard him meekly moan, he said

"Will you wrap your arms around me as I'm falling?"

Remember when Remember when Remember when we were all so beautiful? Never Again Never Again But since then we've lost our glow.

They said it hurt their eyes but he would never know that they were filled with regret as their own dissipated.

He said, "I now feel more desperately alone, even though they wrapped their

arms around me as I'd fallen."

Remember when Remember when Remember when we were all so beautiful? Never Again Never Again, But since then we've lost our glow.

They said it hurt their eyes, but he would never know that they were claiming

regret as their own...

their own dissipated.

[nikkosuave]

Ferrari 512 Testarossa

@whiteboxblack

[nikkosuave]

Lamborghini Countach

@the_kyza