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nightgamein98-blog · 7 years ago

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Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

** I decided to just post this directly on the blog because I believe every person who has an abusive mother should read this.

1. Everything she does is deniable.

There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn’t live through her abuse would never believe the connection.

Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word. She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or the way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ("I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)

2. She violates your boundaries.

You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you. (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn’t like kumquats.) You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs (“Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!”) You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.

Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you’re punished for your insistence (“Since you’re old enough to date, I think you’re old enough to pay for your own clothes!”) If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your “independence.”

3. She favoritizes.

Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself.

4. She undermines.

Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them. Any success or accomplishment for which she cannot take credit is ignored or diminished. Any time you are to be center stage and there is no opportunity for her to be the center of attention, she will try to prevent the occasion altogether, or she doesn’t come, or she leaves early, or she acts like it’s no big deal, or she steals the spotlight or she slips in little wounding comments about how much better someone else did or how what you did wasn’t as much as you could have done or as you think it is. She undermines you by picking fights with you or being especially unpleasant just before you have to make a major effort. She acts put out if she has to do anything to support your opportunities or will outright refuse to do even small things in support of you. She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you’ve done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it. No matter what your success, she has to take you down a peg about it.

5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

She lets you know in all sorts of little ways that she thinks less of you than she does of your siblings or of other people in general. If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person’s side even if she doesn’t know them at all. She doesn’t care about those people or the justice of your complaints. She just wants to let you know that you’re never right.

She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): “You were always difficult” “You can be very difficult to love” “You never seemed to be able to finish anything” “You were very hard to live with” “You’re always causing trouble” “No one could put up with the things you do.” She will deliver slams in a sidelong way - for example she’ll complain about how “no one” loves her, does anything for her, or cares about her, or she’ll complain that “everyone” is so selfish, when you’re the only person in the room. As always, this combines criticism with deniability.

She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn’t like as much. She’ll let you know that her relationship with some other person you both know is wonderful in a way your relationship with her isn’t - the carefully unspoken message being that you don’t matter much to her.

She minimizes, discounts or ignores your opinions and experiences. Your insights are met with condescension, denials and accusations (“I think you read too much!”) and she will brush off your information even on subjects on which you are an acknowledged expert. Whatever you say is met with smirks and amused sounding or exaggerated exclamations (“Uh hunh!” “You don’t say!” “Really!”). She’ll then make it clear that she didn’t listen to a word you said.

6. She makes you look crazy.

If you try to confront her about something she’s done, she’ll tell you that you have “a very vivid imagination” (this is a phrase commonly used by abusers of all sorts to invalidate your experience of their abuse) that you don’t know what you’re talking about, or that she has no idea what you’re talking about. She will claim not to remember even very memorable events, flatly denying they ever happened, nor will she ever acknowledge any possibility that she might have forgotten. This is an extremely aggressive and exceptionally infuriating tactic called “gaslighting,” common to abusers of all kinds. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your intuition, your memory or your powers of reasoning. This makes you a much better victim for the abuser.

Narcissists gaslight routinely. The narcissist will either insinuate or will tell you outright that you’re unstable, otherwise you wouldn’t believe such ridiculous things or be so uncooperative. You’re oversensitive. You’re imagining things. You’re hysterical. You’re completely unreasonable. You’re over-reacting, like you always do. She’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down and aren’t so irrational. She may even characterize you as being neurotic or psychotic.

Once she’s constructed these fantasies of your emotional pathologies, she’ll tell others about them, as always, presenting her smears as expressions of concern and declaring her own helpless victimhood. She didn’t do anything. She has no idea why you’re so irrationally angry with her. You’ve hurt her terribly. She thinks you may need psychotherapy. She loves you very much and would do anything to make you happy, but she just doesn’t know what to do. You keep pushing her away when all she wants to do is help you.

She has simultaneously absolved herself of any responsibility for your obvious antipathy towards her, implied that it’s something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you angry with her, and undermined your credibility with her listeners. She plays the role of the doting mother so perfectly that no one will believe you.

7. She’s envious.

Any time you get something nice she’s angry and envious and her envy will be apparent when she admires whatever it is. She’ll try to get it from you, spoil it for you, or get the same or better for herself. She’s always working on ways to get what other people have. The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law. They’ll attempt to forbid their daughters to wear makeup, to groom themselves in an age-appropriate way or to date. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law. This envy extends to relationships. Narcissistic mothers infamously attempt to damage their children’s marriages and interfere in the upbringing of their grandchildren.

8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.

Any time she talks about something that has emotional significance for her, it’s a fair bet that she’s lying. Lying is one way that she creates conflict in the relationships and lives of those around her - she’ll lie to them about what other people have said, what they’ve done, or how they feel. She’ll lie about her relationship with them, about your behavior or about your situation in order to inflate herself and to undermine your credibility.

The narcissist is very careful about how she lies. To outsiders she’ll lie thoughtfully and deliberately, always in a way that can be covered up if she’s confronted with her lie. She spins what you said rather than makes something up wholesale. She puts dishonest interpretations on things you actually did. If she’s recently done something particularly egregious she may engage in preventative lying: she lies in advance to discount what you might say before you even say it. Then when you talk about what she did you’ll be cut off with “I already know all about it…your mother told me… (self-justifications and lies).” Because she is so careful about her deniability, it may be very hard to catch her in her lies and the more gullible of her friends may never realize how dishonest she is.

To you, she’ll lie blatantly. She will claim to be unable to remember bad things she has done, even if she did one of them recently and even if it was something very memorable. Of course, if you try to jog her memory by recounting the circumstances “You have a very vivid imagination” or “That was so long ago. Why do you have to dredge up your old grudges?” Your conversations with her are full of casual brush-offs and diversionary lies and she doesn’t respect you enough to bother making it sound good. For example she’ll start with a self-serving lie: “If I don’t take you as a dependent on my taxes I’ll lose three thousand dollars!” You refute her lie with an obvious truth: “No, three thousand dollars is the amount of the dependent exemption. You’ll only lose about eight hundred dollars.” Her response: “Isn’t that what I said?” You are now in a game with only one rule: You can’t win.

On the rare occasions she is forced to acknowledge some bad behavior, she will couch the admission deniably. She “guesses” that “maybe” she “might have” done something wrong. The wrongdoing is always heavily spun and trimmed to make it sound better. The words “I guess,” “maybe,” and “might have” are in and of themselves lies because she knows exactly what she did - no guessing, no might haves, no maybes.

9. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

This need is a defining trait of narcissists and particularly of narcissistic mothers for whom their children exist to be sources of attention and adoration. Narcissistic mothers love to be waited on and often pepper their children with little requests. “While you’re up…” or its equivalent is one of their favorite phrases. You couldn’t just be assigned a chore at the beginning of the week or of the day, instead, you had to do it on demand, preferably at a time that was inconvenient for you, or you had to “help” her do it, fetching and carrying for her while she made up to herself for the menial work she had to do as your mother by glorying in your attentions.

A narcissistic mother may create odd occasions at which she can be the center of attention, such as memorials for someone close to her who died long ago, or major celebrations of small personal milestones. She may love to entertain so she can be the life of her own party. She will try to steal the spotlight or will try to spoil any occasion where someone else is the center of attention, particularly the child she has cast as the scapegoat. She often invites herself along where she isn’t welcome. If she visits you or you visit her, you are required to spend all your time with her. Entertaining herself is unthinkable. She has always pouted, manipulated or raged if you tried to do anything without her, didn’t want to entertain her, refused to wait on her, stymied her plans for a drama or otherwise deprived her of attention.

Older narcissistic mothers often use the natural limitations of aging to manipulate dramas, often by neglecting their health or by doing things they know will make them ill. This gives them the opportunity to cash in on the investment they made when they trained you to wait on them as a child. Then they call you (or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you) demanding your immediate attendance. You are to rush to her side, pat her hand, weep over her pain and listen sympathetically to her unending complaints about how hard and awful it is. (“Never get old!”) It’s almost never the case that you can actually do anything useful, and the causes of her disability may have been completely avoidable, but you’ve been put in an extremely difficult position. If you don’t provide the audience and attention she’s manipulating to get, you look extremely bad to everyone else and may even have legal culpability. (Narcissistic behaviors commonly accompany Alzheimer’s disease, so this behavior may also occur in perfectly normal mothers as they age.)

10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

This exceptionally sick and bizarre behavior is so common among narcissistic mothers that their children often call them “emotional vampires.” Some of this emotional feeding comes in the form of pure sadism. She does and says things just to be wounding or she engages in tormenting teasing or she needles you about things you’re sensitive about, all the while a smile plays over her lips. She may have taken you to scary movies or told you horrifying stories, then mocked you for being a baby when you cried; she will slip a wounding comment into conversation and smile delightedly into your hurt face. You can hear the laughter in her voice as she pressures you or says distressing things to you. Later she’ll gloat over how much she upset you, gaily telling other people that you’re so much fun to tease, and recruiting others to share in her amusement. . She enjoys her cruelties and makes no effort to disguise that. She wants you to know that your pain entertains her. She may bring up subjects that are painful for you and probe you about them, all the while watching you carefully. This is emotional vampirism in its purest form. She’s feeding emotionally off your pain.

A peculiar form of this emotional vampirism combines attention-seeking behavior with a demand that the audience suffer. Since narcissistic mothers often play the martyr this may take the form of wrenching, self-pitying dramas which she carefully produces, and in which she is the star performer. She sobs and wails that no one loves her and everyone is so selfish, and she doesn’t want to live, she wants to die! She wants to die! She will not seem to care how much the manipulation of their emotions and the self-pity repels other people. One weird behavior that is very common to narcissists: her dramas may also center around the tragedies of other people, often relating how much she suffered by association and trying to distress her listeners, as she cries over the horrible murder of someone she wouldn’t recognize if they had passed her on the street.

11. She’s selfish and willful.

She always makes sure she has the best of everything. She insists on having her own way all the time and she will ruthlessly, manipulatively pursue it, even if what she wants isn’t worth all the effort she’s putting into it and even if that effort goes far beyond normal behavior. She will make a huge effort to get something you denied her, even if it was entirely your right to do so and even if her demand was selfish and unreasonable. If you tell her she cannot bring her friends to your party she will show up with them anyway, and she will have told them that they were invited so that you either have to give in, or be the bad guy to these poor dupes on your doorstep. If you tell her she can’t come over to your house tonight she’ll call your spouse and try get him or her to agree that she can, and to not say anything to you about it because it’s a “surprise.” She has to show you that you can’t tell her “no.”

One near-universal characteristic of narcissists: because they are so selfish and self-centered, they are very bad gift givers. They’ll give you hand-me-downs or market things for themselves as gifts for you (“I thought I’d give you my old bicycle and buy myself a new one!” “I know how much you love Italian food, so I’m going to take you to my favorite restaurant for your birthday!”) New gifts are often obviously cheap and are usually things that don’t suit you or that you can’t use or are a quid pro quo: if you buy her the gift she wants, she will buy you an item of your choice. She’ll make it clear that it pains her to give you anything. She may buy you a gift and get the identical item for herself, or take you shopping for a gift and get herself something nice at the same time to make herself feel better.

12. She’s self-absorbed.

Her feelings, needs and wants are very important; yours are insignificant to the point that her least whim takes precedence over your most basic needs. Her problems deserve your immediate and full attention; yours are brushed aside. Her wishes always take precedence; if she does something for you, she reminds you constantly of her munificence in doing so and will often try to extract some sort of payment. She will complain constantly, even though your situation may be much worse than hers. If you point that out, she will effortlessly, thoughtlessly brush it aside as of no importance (It’s easy for you… / It’s different for you…).

13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

If you criticize her or defy her she will explode with fury, threaten, storm, rage, destroy and may become violent, beating, confining, putting her child outdoors in bad weather or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.

14. She terrorizes.

For all abusers, fear is a powerful means of control of the victim, and your narcissistic mother used it ruthlessly to train you. Narcissists teach you to beware their wrath even when they aren’t present. The only alternative is constant placation. If you give her everything she wants all the time, you might be spared. If you don’t, the punishments will come. Even adult children of narcissists still feel that carefully inculcated fear. Your narcissistic mother can turn it on with a silence or a look that tells the child in you she’s thinking about how she’s going to get even.

Not all narcissists abuse physically, but most do, often in subtle, deniable ways. It allows them to vent their rage at your failure to be the solution to their internal havoc and simultaneously to teach you to fear them. You may not have been beaten, but you were almost certainly left to endure physical pain when a normal mother would have made an effort to relieve your misery. This deniable form of battery allows her to store up her rage and dole out the punishment at a later time when she’s worked out an airtight rationale for her abuse, so she never risks exposure. You were left hungry because “you eat too much.” (Someone asked her if she was pregnant. She isn’t). You always went to school with stomach flu because “you don’t have a fever. You’re just trying to get out of school.” (She resents having to take care of you. You have a lot of nerve getting sick and adding to her burdens.) She refuses to look at your bloody heels and instead the shoes that wore those blisters on your heels are put back on your feet and you’re sent to the store in them because “You wanted those shoes. Now you can wear them.” (You said the ones she wanted to get you were ugly. She liked them because they were just like what she wore 30 years ago). The dentist was told not to give you Novocain when he drilled your tooth because “he has to learn to take better care of his teeth.” (She has to pay for a filling and she’s furious at having to spend money on you.)

Narcissistic mothers also abuse by loosing others on you or by failing to protect you when a normal mother would have. Sometimes the narcissist’s golden child will be encouraged to abuse the scapegoat. Narcissists also abuse by exposing you to violence. If one of your siblings got beaten, she made sure you saw. She effortlessly put the fear of Mom into you, without raising a hand.

15. She’s infantile and petty.

Narcissistic mothers are often simply childish. If you refuse to let her manipulate you into doing something, she will cry that you don’t love her because if you loved her you would do as she wanted. If you hurt her feelings she will aggressively whine to you that you’ll be sorry when she’s dead that you didn’t treat her better. These babyish complaints and responses may sound laughable, but the narcissist is dead serious about them. When you were a child, if you ask her to stop some bad behavior, she would justify it by pointing out something that you did that she feels is comparable, as though the childish behavior of a child is justification for the childish behavior of an adult. “Getting even” is a large part of her dealings with you. Anytime you fail to give her the deference, attention or service she feels she deserves, or you thwart her wishes, she has to show you.

16. She’s aggressive and shameless.

She doesn’t ask. She demands. She makes outrageous requests and she’ll take anything she wants if she thinks she can get away with it. Her demands of her children are posed in a very aggressive way, as are her criticisms. She won’t take no for an answer, pushing and arm-twisting and manipulating to get you to give in.

17. She “parentifies.”

She shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up for herself. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers. Your friends were never welcome in her house. She didn’t like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. She wouldn’t buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with “Now that you’re making money, why don’t you pay for that yourself?” You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was “so happy you could take care of yourself.”

She also gave you tasks that were rightfully hers and should not have been placed on a child. You may have been a primary caregiver for young siblings or an incapacitated parent. You may have had responsibility for excessive household tasks. Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. You were often punished out of the blue, for manufactured offenses. As you got older she directly placed responsibility for her welfare and her emotions on you, weeping on your shoulder and unloading on you any time something went awry for her.

18. She’s exploitative.

She will manipulate to get work, money, or objects she envies out of other people for nothing. This includes her children, of course. If she set up a bank account for you, she was trustee on the account with the right to withdraw money. As you put money into it, she took it out. She may have stolen your identity. She took you as a dependent on her income taxes so you couldn’t file independently without exposing her to criminal penalties. If she made an agreement with you, it was violated the minute it no longer served her needs. If you brought it up demanding she adhere to the agreement, she brushed you off and later punished you so you would know not to defy her again.

Sometimes the narcissist will exploit a child to absorb punishment that would have been hers from an abusive partner. The husband comes home in a drunken rage, and the mother immediately complains about the child’s bad behavior so the rage is vented on to the child. Sometimes the narcissistic mother simply uses the child to keep a sick marriage intact because the alternative is being divorced or having to go to work. The child is sexually molested but the mother never notices, or worse, calls the child a liar when she tells the mother about the molestation.

19. She projects.

This sounds a little like psycho-babble, but it is something that narcissists all do. Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. This can be very difficult to see if you have traits that she can project on to. An eating-disordered woman who obsesses over her daughter’s weight is projecting. The daughter may not realize it because she has probably internalized an absurdly thin vision of women’s weight and so accepts her mother’s projection. When the narcissist tells the daughter that she eats too much, needs to exercise more, or has to wear extra-large size clothes, the daughter believes it, even if it isn’t true. However, she will sometimes project even though it makes no sense at all. This happens when she feels shamed and needs to put it on her scapegoat child and the projection therefore comes across as being an attack out of the blue. For example: She makes an outrageous request, and you casually refuse to let her have her way. She’s enraged by your refusal and snarls at you that you’ll talk about it when you’ve calmed down and are no longer hysterical.

You aren’t hysterical at all; she is, but your refusal has made her feel the shame that should have stopped her from making shameless demands in the first place. That’s intolerable. She can transfer that shame to you and rationalize away your response: you only refused her because you’re so unreasonable. Having done that she can reassert her shamelessness and indulge her childish willfulness by turning an unequivocal refusal into a subject for further discussion. You’ll talk about it again “later” - probably when she’s worn you down with histrionics, pouting and the silent treatment so you’re more inclined to do what she wants.

20. She is never wrong about anything.

No matter what she’s done, she won’t ever genuinely apologize for anything. Instead, any time she feels she is being made to apologize she will sulk and pout, issue an insulting apology or negate the apology she has just made with justifications, qualifications or self pity: “I’m sorry you felt that I humiliated you” “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad” “If I did that it was wrong” “I’m sorry, but I there’s nothing I can do about it” “I’m sorry I made you feel clumsy, stupid and disgusting” “I’m sorry but it was just a joke. You’re so over-sensitive” “I’m sorry that my own child feels she has to upset me and make me feel bad.” The last insulting apology is also an example of projection.

21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

She’ll occasionally slip and say something jaw-droppingly callous because of this lack of empathy. It isn’t that she doesn’t care at all about other people’s feelings, though she doesn’t. It would simply never occur to her to think about their feelings. An absence of empathy is the defining trait of a narcissist and underlies most of the other traits I have described. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists do understand right, wrong, and consequences, so they are not ordinarily criminal. She beat you, but not to the point where you went to the hospital. She left you standing out in the cold until you were miserable, but not until you had hypothermia. She put you in the basement in the dark with no clothes on, but she only left you there for two hours.

22. She blames.

She’ll blame you for everything that isn’t right in her life or for what other people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she’ll blame you for her abuse. You made her do it. If only you weren’t so difficult. You upset her so much that she can’t think straight. Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink. This blaming is often so subtle that all you know is that you thought you were wronged and now you feel guilty. Your brother beats you and her response is to bemoan how uncivilized children are. Your boyfriend dumped you, but she can understand - after all, she herself has seen how difficult you are to love. She’ll do something egregiously exploitative to you, and when confronted will screech at you that she can’t believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such a trivial thing. She’ll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish, cruel and exploitative behavior. She can’t believe you are so petty, so small, and so childish as to object to her giving your favorite dress to her friend. She thought you would be happy to let her do something nice for someone else.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable. Manipulating. She’s making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties. Being selfish. She doesn’t mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way. Blaming. She did something wrong, but it’s all your fault. Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours. Putting on a self-pitying drama. She’s a martyr who believed the best of you, and you’ve let her down. Parentifying. You’re responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.

23. She destroys your relationships.

Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Unless the father has control over the narcissist and holds the family together, adult siblings in families with narcissistic mothers characteristically have painful relationships. Typically all communication between siblings is superficial and driven by duty, or they may never talk to each other at all. In part, these women foster dissension between their children because they enjoy the control it gives them. If those children don’t communicate except through the mother, she can decide what everyone hears. Narcissists also love the excitement and drama they create by interfering in their children’s lives. Watching people’s lives explode is better than soap operas, especially when you don’t have any empathy for their misery.

The narcissist nurtures anger, contempt and envy - the most corrosive emotions - to drive her children apart. While her children are still living at home, any child who stands up to the narcissist guarantees punishment for the rest. In her zest for revenge, the narcissist purposefully turns the siblings’ anger on the dissenter by including everyone in her retaliation. (“I can see that nobody here loves me! Well I’ll just take these Christmas presents back to the store. None of you would want anything I got you anyway!”) The other children, long trained by the narcissist to give in, are furious with the troublemaking child, instead of with the narcissist who actually deserves their anger.

The narcissist also uses favoritism and gossip to poison her childrens’ relationships. The scapegoat sees the mother as a creature of caprice and cruelty. As is typical of the privileged, the other children don’t see her unfairness and they excuse her abuses. Indeed, they are often recruited by the narcissist to adopt her contemptuous and entitled attitude towards the scapegoat and with her tacit or explicit permission, will inflict further abuse. The scapegoat predictably responds with fury and equal contempt. After her children move on with adult lives, the narcissist makes sure to keep each apprised of the doings of the others, passing on the most discreditable and juicy gossip (as always, disguised as “concern”) about the other children, again, in a way that engenders contempt rather than compassion.

Having been raised by a narcissist, her children are predisposed to be envious, and she takes full advantage of the opportunity that presents. While she may never praise you to your face, she will likely crow about your victories to the very sibling who is not doing well. She’ll tell you about the generosity she displayed towards that child, leaving you wondering why you got left out and irrationally angry at the favored child rather than at the narcissist who told you about it.

The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. She then passes that on to the others, creating the resentments that prevent them from communicating directly and freely with each other. The result is that the only communication between the children is through the narcissist, exactly the way she wants it.

24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful.

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nightgamein98-blog · 8 years ago

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Protective older brother Rin

A short little drabble about Rin’s protective side, written for Rin’s birthday(reposted from fanfiction.net)

It was an ordinary Monday afternoon in the Samezuka dorms. Or at least it was supposed to be. Swim practice had been cancelled due to “pool cleaning maintenance work”. Grumpily, Rin went back to his room. Not interested in doing his homework, he opted to laze around on his bed instead, staring blankly at the ceiling. His phone was broken when Momo had thrown it into the pool as a bet, he was not happy about that. Apparently the redhead made a bet with another member of the swim team that he could piss Rin off and get away with it. He lost said bet. And now Rin was bored out of his mind, nothing to do since Sousuke was using the shared computer in his room.

“Yo, Rin.” Sousuke called over, trying to get his attention. Rin turned over to face the other boy, not wanting to get off the bed. He just wanted to laze around today.

“What is it?” he grumbled sleepily. He was too tired to do anything. It was Monday, after all.

“Come check this out. Gou posted something online.”

The mention of his little sister had Rin up in a flash. No incest. He dragged his feet over to the computer screen. Sousuke was on some website called Facebook. It was apparently some form of social media. For the life of him, he could not figure out how that thing worked, and just gave up after 3 days of trying. Gou, on the other hand, was more successful. She was an active user, constantly posting pictures of muscles and stuff, occasionally about the Iwatobi Swim Club. This one particular post, however, which Sousuke had drawn his attention to, was causing his eyes to bulge out. The post was dated Saturday, around 9pm. He crashed at Sousuke’s place that night, meaning he didn’t get to see her that day. The post read:

“Thank you for the date today! I enjoyed it so much! The movie was pretty interesting too… I can’t get enough of those muscles!! <3333”

“!!!!! WHAT?!!!” to say Rin was furious was an understatement. His whole face was red, Sousuke could tell he was probably mentally writing down a list of suspects to chase down for dating his little sister. Without another word, Rin marched out the door, grabbing his jacket on the way. Chuckling slightly, Sousuke scrolled down to view the picture that came with the post. If only Rin had stayed for a little longer, it would have saved him so much effort in searching…

The obvious first suspect was a certain Mikoshiba. More specifically, Momotarou Mikoshiba. It was no secret that he was head over heels for Gou. His muscles were something to look at too, for someone his age. Like, how can a 15 year old boy have the muscles of a 19 year old? Rin was in front of said boy’s room door in less than a minute, impatiently banging on the door. When no one answered after, say, 2 seconds, he forced it open with a loud thrust.

“MOMO!!” said boy was hanging upside-down off the top bunk, for god knows what reason. The sudden intrusion had caused his feet to lose his balance, sending him crashing to the ground head-first.

“Ow!!! What was that for, Rin-senpai?!” he shouted back, rubbing his head in pain.

“I didn’t do anything. You fell yourself.” Rin towered over the younger boy, staring down at the figure lying on the floor.

“What did you come here for, Rin-senpai?” Nitori was on his own bed, watching the scene unfold before him. He didn’t seem at all fazed by Momo’s ridiculous antics.

“Ah right. Back to the point.” Cracking his knuckles, Rin picked Momo off the floor, slamming him into the nearest wall. Gripping the peach boy’s shirt tightly, he was about to strangle him. With his free hand, he raised a threatening fist.

It was safe to say Momo was now terrified. Behind them was a shaking Nitori, bubbling with fear, not daring to step into whatever conflict Momo had gotten himself into this time. Maybe Rin was here to pay Momo back for ruining his phone.

“WHERE DID YOU GO ON SATURDAY?!” it was a seemingly normal question, but in this situation, Rin was yelling as if it were a life or death question. His overprotective brother side was finally showing.

“I went to town, Rin-senpai….” Momo muttered sheepishly, fear covering his eyes, blocking any form of rational thought, if he had any to begin with. “I went to the bulk store with Nitori-senpai!” he brightened up, looking at his smaller senpai hiding behind the bed.

“….Huh?” Rin was legitimately confused. What would Momo possibly need from the bulk store? It was more like a factory, where you could get 50 of something for the price of say, one. Hell, you needed a member’s card to shop there. Releasing his grip on Momo, Rin took a better look around the room. Indeed, there were some new items strewn about. In the corner, there were 10 boxes of corn flakes cereal stacked high, it looked like it would fall any moment. On the table, there were pens of all colours and shapes strewn about, and Momo had apparently tried to make a pen tower.

“Rin-senpai do you want to see my new water gun from the 100¥ store?!” Momo was already holding said water gun, pointing it straight into Rin’s face.

“No.” with that tone, he could probably rival Haru for flatness of a voice. He was in no mood to deal with Momo’s nonsense today. He had more important things to do. Leaving Momo in the somewhat-capable hands of Aiichiro Nitori, he marched out the door, slamming it behind him. Onto the next suspect. A rather unlikely one, but better safe than sorry. He would check on everyone on his list, regardless of how unlikely it would be.

He cursed everything today. Why was the sun so damned hot? Why did the bus break down, making him walk the rest of the way? Why was he even doing this in the first place? There was only one thing he was thankful for by the time he got to his destination. The fact that his suspect never locked his front door, ever. He learned the first time he came over, when he wasted 5 minutes standing outside waiting for Haru to come out. He had given up and marched straight in, finding the front door unlocked, much to his annoyance. Now, he was standing in the middle of the living room, his target nowhere in sight.

“HARU!!” he screamed into the house, hoping said boy would hear and come out from whatever hole he was hiding in. …No response. Sighing, he decided to poke around the house instead, maybe find something that might be helpful to his little ‘search’.

He had searched the entire first floor, there was no sign of life anywhere. The only indication that someone was even living in the house was the laundry room. He had gone in there, and found Haru’s boxers and swimsuits hanging on the laundry rack to dry. Haru had boxers with fish on them. Go figure.

He was about to leave the house, when he heard a running of water from upstairs. How had he not thought to look in the bathroom? He ran up the stairs, banging on the door once he found what he thought was the bathroom. He could hear sloshing of water from a tub from the inside. He was at the right place.

“Makoto?” Haru called, but apparently didn’t make a move to get out of the tub.

Rin just got more pissed. That Haru was too reliant on Makoto! Thrusting the door open, he marched into the bathroom, paying no heed to Haru’s shocked face.

“Rin…? What are you…?” Haru was cut off as Rin grabbed his shoulders, yanking him up and out of the tub. Thank god he was wearing his swimsuit this time.

He dumped Haru on the floor, right in the middle of the hallway, still dripping wet. Towering over him so he was trapped between him and the wall, Rin glared down with menacing eyes. “Haru! Where did you go on Saturday?” simple question, straight to the point.

“…Huh? Why did you come all the way here to ask me that?” Haru’s voice was flat as ever, but his eyes gave away some sort of emotion. Shock? Absurdity? Whatever. Rin didn’t care.

“JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!”

“Fine… I went to the city.” Haru was shaking his head, flicking water droplets all over Rin.

“… For what?” Rin was glowering. This was NOT the time he wanted to deal with Haru’s crappy attitude. He could act like an ass any other day, just not today.

“Would you believe if I said I went out with my girlfriend?” that’s it. Now Haru’s just trying to mess with him. Not doing a good job at that.

“NO.” flashing the trademark Matsuoka glare, Rin drew closer to Haru, menacing gaze in his eyes. “Tell me the truth, Haru. Seriously.” Rin’s voice had calmed down to a sort of pleading, he didn’t want to sound like he was a needy child. But really, his anxious older brother side was taking over full force now.

“Fine. I went to visit my parents, they force me to do that once a month. Happy now?” Haru turned away, not wanting to look at Rin’s ridiculous dumbstruck face. He’d just burned Rin, hard. It’ll probably take Rin a week or two to recover from that burn.

“Thank you very much.” Rin tried to snarl back, Haru simply smirked. He’d won this one. Rin couldn’t hide the embarrassed red in his cheeks. Not wanting to deal with the apathetic freestyle swimmer anymore, Rin stalked out of the house, leaving Haru lying on the floor where he’d dumped him.

On to the next suspect.

This suspect had a higher probability of actually being the culprit. Nice guy, loads of muscles to feed Gou’s muscle fetish, tall and hot, and overall perfect boyfriend. You know who we’re talking about here. It’s Tachibana Makoto.

Rin had been banging on the door for the past 3 minutes. There was only 1 pair of shoes outside the door, Makoto’s usual orange sneakers. Meaning he was the only one at home, or he was too lazy to bring his shoes into the house after stepping in. Hmm, Makoto wasn’t one to usually ignore people banging on his door. Meaning something was rather wrong here.

Not waiting to find out, Rin headed to the back door and tried to open that one. Locked again. Apparently, the Tachibanas value home security far more than a certain Nanase. Looking directly up, he could see a bedroom window open. And a few rocks very conveniently placed in the garden. Grabbing one, he hurled it into the open window. No sound. Taking another, he took another throw. It bounced off the side of the house with a loud CRACK, landing back on his head. It hit him on the forehead. Rubbing his forehead a little, he had to admit his aim wasn’t that good. That’s why he was on the swim team, not the basketball team. Grabbing another. Third time’s the charm. Step back, aim high, and throw.

That did the trick. It seemed to have hit SOMETHING, because he heard a CRACK and someone shouting from inside. It sounded like curse words, but Rin couldn’t tell. He didn’t want to. Instead, he took a deep breath and shouted out. “OI MAKOTO! YOU IN THERE?”

He distinctively heard a loud grunt coming from inside, followed by heavy footsteps. Running back around to the door, he wanted to be ready to give this guy a good questioning/beating for whatever he’d done. Standing outside, he expected to see a usual cheery Makoto, smile and all. What he did not expect, was the teenage boy, looking groggy, grumpy, hair all over the place, wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Which is saying something, considering the size of Makoto. Where would he find clothes that were baggy on him? Anyways, back to the point.

“Rin. WHY are you here?” Now this was new. Always happy Makoto, is grumpy. He stared back at Rin with tired eyes, indicating lack of sleep. Oh right, he was here to ask something.

“Makoto, I’ll be quick.” Rin had to clear his throat, because honestly, he was still reeling from the sight of a rather different Makoto than the one he knew. “Where did you go… on Saturday?”

“To watch a movie.” Geez, was Haru’s bluntness starting to rub off on Makoto after all this while? Wait…. Movie?

“…. Who were you with?” Rin tried not to act too surprised. Haru had that leverage now, he didn’t want to give it to Makoto too.

“…The little sister.” Makoto’s eyes were drooping, he had to stifle a yawn. He clearly wasn’t interested in entertaining Rin at the time. Turning back into the house to leave, he wasn’t prepared for the shove that came.

“WHY DID YOU GO OUT WITH GOU?!” Rin had just slammed Makoto to the wall of his own house. Simple question. Tone left to be desired. Whatever, culprit found.

“…What are you talking about? I didn’t go out with Gou…” Makoto was looking even more confused now, not even trying to fight back against Rin’s death grip on his neck. He was simply too tired to put up a fight.

“…Huh?” now for the second time today, Rin was feeling incredibly stupid. Who could blame him? Overprotective brother mind taking over logical mind, hello?

“I brought Ran to watch this new movie because my parents weren’t free. Speaking of Gou, I did see her at the movie theatre with some guy.” Rin started to loosen his grip on Makoto, leaning his face closer to the other’s. Now he’s paying attention.

“What did the guy look like?” this could be his biggest hint all day, Tachibana had better not mess it up like he usually screws things up by being too wishy-washy. Seriously, his head was always in the clouds, how did he manage to take care of himself, much less Haru?

“I couldn’t see, it was dark.”

“Great help.” Really. Very helpful information was provided right there. “What about after the movie?” he tried to sound nice, because he was asking a favour of Makoto, least he could do was not be an ass about it. But the way Makoto was acting made it really difficult to play nice. He just hoped the air-headed giant would get the hint and spit it out already.

“I’m not quite sure…” really? Right now? How does Makoto manage not flunking out of school? “He had a hoodie covering the back of his head… ah! It was a Samezuka swim team hoodie!” Makoto was snapping his fingers and beaming up like a child who’d just figured out how to do his homework. In all sense, it looked kind of cute, but Rin was in a rather foul mood so it just looked annoying to him.

“Thanks Makoto.” Yes. Rin Matsuoka is thankful to someone for the help. It’s not that big of a surprise. But the info he got, while vague, was the biggest hint he had all day. “I’ll be going now. Go back to sleep or something.” Rin brushed out the door, slamming it shut on his way out. Makoto looked sick, he didn’t want to stick around and catch some nasty germs or something.

Rin was jogging back to Samezuka. The sun was beginning to set, he’d spent 3 hours running about interrogating his suspects. And he still hadn’t found his culprit. ‘Wearing a Samezuka swim team jacket.’ That narrowed it down quite a bit. Who on the swim team had feelings for Gou? Then it hit him like a rock. How did he not notice until now? The one who sent him on this wild goose chase in the first place! Such an obvious distraction! That guy was childhood friends with Gou, nice to her while being a jerk to everyone else, it was so obvious! Yamazaki Sousuke had some explaining to do. Rin was going to be back to the dorm in 5 minutes, and he’d better be ready to give some explanations by then.

Rin had just sprinted all the way from Iwatobi’s district 60 to district 40 in 10 minutes. (A/N: I don’t know where Samezuka or Haru/Makoto’s houses are. So I’ll just number the districts like this to indicate the huge distance between.) Normally, it would take a 20 minute bus ride, but Rin was rather fit, and he had a major sense of urgency. He could run really fast when he wanted to, he had the stamina for it too. Reaching the door of his shared room, he was huffing and panting. His search was almost over. Just past this door.

BANG! Rin just slammed open the door loud enough, he was sure that whole dorm block could hear the slamming of the hardwood door against the cement wall. He didn’t care. He was on a mission, and said mission was about to come to an end. “SOUSUKE!” he was too focused on the person lying on the bed in front of him, he’d neglected to close the door after stepping into the room. What irked him more is the fact Sousuke had decided to use Rin’s bed while he was out. What nerve! This guy has some real balls, he had to admit. Barely anyone dares to go up against an angry Matsuoka. Especially when that Matsuoka is Rin.

Now Sousuke was looking rather surprised for someone who should’ve expected this coming. He’d just been grabbed by the front of his shirt, thrown off the bed and onto the hardwood floor of the dorm with a loud THUD. Rin, the person who’d obviously thrown him, stood over him in all his glory. Menacing gaze staring down to the helpless teen, he actually feared what Rin might do to him in his ‘blind rage’. “Sousuke. How dare you.” Rin was hissing. Soft (compared to before), calm, but filled with venom. Not to be mistaken for safety. RED DANGER ALERT. ANGRY MATSUOKA RIN ON THE LOOSE.

Sousuke could only look up at his best friend in shock, maybe a tinge of fear in his heart. Angry Rin was not something to be trifled with. “Rin… what are you?” he could barely mouth out the words before Rin stepped on his face. Literally. Slammed his entire right foot, shoe and all, into Sousuke’s face. The dirt landed in Sousuke’s mouth. It was disgusting. Rin had not bothered to remove his shoes when he entered the dorm.

“How dare you. Going out with Gou, and then tricking me into a wild goose chase?! YOU DID THIS FOR LAUGHS DIDN’T YOU?!”

Now it’s true that Sousuke liked to do things just to see his friend’s reaction, or see how dumb Rin could get. This time, however, he was genuinely confused. “Rin! What are you talking about? Get off me!” yup, Rin was sitting on Sousuke’s chest. And pressing a hand down on his injured shoulder. If a stranger came through the open door at the moment, he might think they were having sex or something. Because Rin’s legs were spread open, one on each side of Sousuke’s chest, with poor Sousuke looking up at Rin in fear/horror/bewilderment. Rin was sitting on his diaphragm, making it harder to breathe by the second. He was already panting. As a swimmer, he could hold his breath, but not for so long. If he didn’t shake Rin off soon, he’d faint from oxygen deprivation.

“Not until you tell me the truth!”

“WHAT TRUTH?! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” Sousuke was trying desperately to hump his chest to force Rin off, but despite appearances, Rin was stronger than him. Probably due to his entire body breaking down from the brutal training over the years.

“You went on a date with Gou and didn’t tell me, then you lied to me and sent me on a wild goose chase just for LAUGHS!” Rin had finally gotten off Sousuke’s chest. Thank god. But instead, he was slammed into the nearest wall, with Rin gripping his neck tightly. At least he could breathe.

“I’m your best friend! You think I’ll… do something like that?!” he managed to choke out, taking in very shallow breaths due to the vice grip on his throat. “Have you forgotten I was with you for the entire time on Saturday?!!” with one surge of strength, Sousuke used his good arm to grip Rin’s wrist, twisting it at an odd angle, effectively reversing their positions.

Now for the third time in the day, Rin felt incredibly dumb. This had to be the record for the number of times in one day he was made to feel stupid. Rin’s back was pressed against the wall, Sousuke’s eyes looming down on him dangerously. He suddenly felt guilty for accusing his best friend for something he had nothing to do with. “Sorry…” he tried to say.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t really matter.”

“It matters! So who’s the one who went out with Gou on Saturday?!” Sousuke had backed away, choosing to lie on the bottom bunk, but Rin didn’t really care. He still had a mission to fulfil.

“You know, if you didn’t run out of the dorm when I showed you that post, it would have saved you a whole lot of trouble.” Sousuke pulled himself up from the bed, heading off to the computer. Rin was still standing frozen in spot from where Sousuke had left him in their little scuffle. Yup, this had to be the most number of times in a single day when he was left feeling like a complete idiot.

Sousuke had booted up the computer and called Rin over. They spent 5 minutes searching through his news feed until they could finally find the post from before. Needless to say, Sousuke was rather afraid of what would happen when he scrolled down to the picture. So as a warning, he spoke first. “Rin, sure you won’t try to kill the guy in the picture?” knowing full well Rin’s anger issues when it came to being a protective older brother.

“Yeah, yeah. I promise not to kill whoever went out with Gou on Saturday.”

Not so satisfied, Sousuke didn’t move. Rin was already very irritated from the day’s events. He shoved Sousuke off the chair by his right side, making him land on his left shoulder, the uninjured one. Even in his irritation, Rin cared about his friend’s safety. He grabbed the mouse, scrolling down to view the supposed picture of Gou and her ‘date’. It couldn’t have been more obvious. Why didn’t he think of it before?!

“!!!!! MIKOSHIBAA!” his face was contorted with rage, tick marks forming all over his forehead.

“Oh? That’s his name? I couldn’t recognize him. Is he related to Momo?” Sousuke sat up on the floor, rubbing his left side where his giant ass had landed on.

“OH. HE’S MOMO’S BROTHER ALRIGHT.” Rin seethed as he stormed out of the room, down the hallway to where Momotarou and Nitori’s room was. If one person could figure out where Seijurro Mikoshiba had disappeared off to after graduation, Momo is the only one. After all, they seemed rather close when he saw the brothers bonding together in the occasions that Seijurro had come back to visit the Samezuka swim team.

He didn’t even bother knocking. He just slammed open the door to the dorm room when he reached. “MOMO!” he looked around the seemingly empty room, just as messy as when he’d entered a few hours earlier.

“Oi Momo. Where are you? I need to ask you something important.” Stepping into the room, he turned to the blind corner where the closet was. There stood a furiously sweating Momo and Nitori, backs pressed to the closet. “…. What are you guys doing?”

“U-uh! Nothing, Rin-senpai!” Nitori stuttered, which was perfectly normal, since he could hardly speak properly in the presence of his senpai.

“Anyways, Momo. I needed to ask you something important. Do you know where to find your brother? I need to speak to him urgently.” Rin’s voice was calm as ever, masking the deep anger he held within for the older Mikoshiba.

“I-I don’t know…” Momo was really sweating here. His eyes darted over to the closet for a quick glance, hastily turning back to focus his gaze on Rin.

“Really. Why are you staring at the closet? Can I take a look inside?” Rin knew full well this was highly inappropriate, but with the way Momo was acting, something fishy was up, he just knew it.

“N-No!! I keep my personal stuff in there…” Momo screeched, throwing his arms up behind him, as if it would stop Rin from trying to open the closet.

‘Like porn? I wonder if Momo even owns porn…’ this kid was about as predictable as a hurricane, which is to say not at all. One would never know what’s up when he behaves weirdly. Shoving him aside, since Momo was smaller than him after all, Rin placed a hand on the wooden frame of the closet. It was shaking a little, you wouldn’t be able to tell if you weren’t in direct contact with the surface.

‘What the hell?’ he steadied himself, throwing open the wooden doors as violently as he could. Out popped a huge man with orange-red hair. The one person he’s looking for.

“What the hell was that?! Hello Captain Mikoshiba.” Rin snarled. “How nice of you to drop in.” bad puns over there, Rin’s not sorry.

“H-Hey Matsuoka…. What brings you here?” Mikoshiba looked up, trying his best to feign innocence. Judging by the look on Rin’s face, he’d drastically failed.

“It just so happened I was looking for you…” Rin was glowering by now. Seijurro had stood up to face him at their full height, forgetting the fact that he was still in his little brother’s dorm room, with another of his juniors.

“Okay. I’m here. What do you need me for?” he was trying to sound as calm as possible, sort of working this time around. He held up his hands in front of his chest defensively, knowing full well of Rin’s rather short fuse.

“YOU SHOULD KNOW DAMN WELL WHY I WANT TO SEE YOU, MIKOSHIBA!!!” Rin hollered, grabbing the front of Seijurro’s shirt, shoving his former captain against the nearest wall.

“WHOA WHOA! Calm down, Matsuoka! I-I can explain!” Seijurro was desperately pleading with the angry Rin, not really working since he was in a rather compromised position.

“Explain why you went out with Gou without telling me! I would love to hear it.” Rin snarled, the same voice he used against Sousuke.

“It’s a f-funny story… really…”

“I’d love to hear it.” Rin’s eyes narrowed a little, obviously hinting to poor Seijurro that he was losing his patience. “Out with it!”

“So uhhh.. I asked Gou-san out to catch this movie I wanted to watch. I wanted to go with Momo but he decided to leave me instead to go shopping.” Seijurro sheepishly tried to explain, glaring over at his little brother who’d backed into the other corner of the room. “she agreed, and that’s it.” “Are you sure that’s all there is to it?” Rin towered over the ex-captain, obviously not satisfied with the explanation.

“I swear! That’s all there is to it!” Seijurro squeaked defensively. “I’ll call Kou-chan right now if you don’t believe me..” he said, reaching for his pocket.

Not wanting this creep to make any more contact with his beloved little sister, Rin snatched the phone out of Seijurro’s hand and handed it to Momo. “Nope. Not gonna happen.”

Handing it to Momo, the phone probably wouldn’t have a good ending. Maybe it’ll go into the pool like Rin’s phone. Maybe Momo would look for porn in it. Rin didn’t know. Rin didn’t care.

“Get your ass ready, Mikoshiba. You’re in for the beating of a lifetime.” Rin cracked his knuckles, Seijurro gulped. Throwing him onto the floor, Rin raised one foot, and slammed it down onto Seijurro’s face. Hard. And again. And jumped onto his chest too, for good measure. That went on for a good 5 minutes with his juniors cowering in the corner of the room. “Well, I’m done.” Rin looked down to a bruised, suffering Seijurro. “You can go back to doing whatever you were doing. I don’t care.” Without another word, Rin slammed the door on his way out. His job was done. Culprit found, culprit beaten up, he was going to take a long deserved shower and get some SLEEP.

And that makes the daily life of protective older brother Rin Matsuoka.

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#free! iwatobi swim club #free! eternal summer #gou matsuoka #rin matsuoka #yamazaki sousuke #makoto tachinaba

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