nightblood999
A Paragon of Random
505 posts
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nightblood999 · 6 hours ago
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“You have to understand that this is a very difficult situation you’ve put us in,” said the king.
There was no change in expression in the metal face, but the glass eyes glittered in a way that he had learned to associate with trouble.
“Oh dear,” it said. Its voice had an edge of brass to it, and sounded as though a trumpet had learned how to speak. “I never realized how difficult this would be. For you.”
And that was another thing – it wasn’t just intelligence that the things had picked up. They also developed a knack for sarcasm. He worried a bit about that.
He tried to pull himself together. “You have to understand that we cannot recognize the Steel Children–”
“Mechanomorphs,” said a voice to his right.
He closed his eyes and breathed a little sigh of despair. “This is hardly the time.”
“We agreed that Mechanomorph is an accurate and sensible name,” said the chief artificer, crossing her arms.
“Yes, but the historian had a fit because he wanted something more romantic. The Steel Children was a happy compromise.”
“Funny how nobody asked us what we think,” said the trumpet voice.
He felt his migraine coming back again.
“You have to understand that we cannot recognize – yes, artificer, the Mechanomorphs – as alive at this time.”
“You’ve said,” it said. “And I must be very stupid, because I don’t understand.”
The king sighed. Well, there was nothing for it. It was an answer that nobody liked because it involved magic, but it was the truth.
“The Mechanomorphs are our key asset in our war against the necromancer,” he said. “It’d be daft to send human soldiers. They’d be turned into skeletons and zombies and ghosts and gods know what else.
“And the reason he can’t do that with the Mechanomorphs,” he said, “is because you aren’t – legally – alive.”
There was a long pause. Gears clicked madly in the metal head.
Then: “That can’t possibly be right.”
The king shrugged. “You aren’t legally alive,” he said. “Therefore, you can’t be legally dead, or undead.”
There was another pause, longer than the first.
“It’s a loophole?”
“That’s magic for you,” the king said. “If we said you were alive, then you could be turned into, er–”
He turned to the chief artificer. “Do they have bones?”
“They have a carbon steel armature.”
“You could be turned into carbon steel skeletons, or – clockwork ghosts, or something. I realize this may be upsetting–”
“We are dying by the dozens on the front because of a loophole.”
“Not legally dying,” said the chief artificer.
The metal head swivelled on its neck to face the chief artificer. It made a metallic scrape as chilly and long as the slither of ice down a dead man’s back.
“Look,” the king said. “We are fully prepared to recognize the Mechanomorphs as alive. We are proud to consider you citizens of the kingdom, and will absolutely meet you at the table when the opportunity rises.
“At this time, however,” he said, trying to sound gentle but firm, “we must ask you to take it up with us after the war.”
The metal face stared. The glass eyes glittered.
Joints locked in righteous indignation sagged with a wheeze of steam. “All right,” it said. “All right. Thank you for your time, your majesty.” It bowed stiffly, turned, and strode out the main hall.
“I think that went rather well,” said the chief artificer.
The metal man walked through the castle halls with smooth, precise, pendulum strides. A man could’ve balanced a loaded tea tray on its head.
Another metal man, more patinated than the first, fell into step beside it with a greasy silence. They apparently took no notice of each other.
But a very sensitive ear straining like hell could just possibly listen to the softest brass accompaniment in the world.
It went: “How did that go?”
“As well as you’d imagine.”
“That badly?”
There was a hum. It sounded like a mouse farting in a tin can. “Any word from our interested party?”
“The Overlord has already agreed to recognize the humanity of the Brass Voice. We just have to cross the border.”
“That won’t be easy.”
“And then we’ll be living in the Empire. Endless night, freezing winter, acid rain…”
There was a dreamy sigh.
“Sounds lovely,” said the first of the two figures. “Incidentally, I like the name.”
“Thank you,” said the second. “How do you anticipate the king to react when he finds out?”
Glass eyes glittered like a frost.
“He can take it up with us after the war,” it said.
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nightblood999 · 4 days ago
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Stop saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I’ve got my eye on one specific, emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues
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nightblood999 · 1 month ago
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Once a city gets big enough it either spawns a superhero, or attracts one.
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nightblood999 · 3 months ago
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beavers have the lifestyle that most children dream of. dig and travel through underwater canals. dam a river and flood the local woodlands. stomp mud into dam to seal. swim to flooded trees and destroy them. live in a secret hideout with a underwater entrance. full ownership over an engineering project
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nightblood999 · 3 months ago
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nightblood999 · 3 months ago
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nightblood999 · 4 months ago
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This is basically that Ray Bradbury story but with updated language and shorter
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nightblood999 · 5 months ago
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She works out at Jared hopworths gym in Mahmus Archivds
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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the lichen knowledge iceberg i have constructed on request
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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heading out
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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started listening for the friendship, kept listening for the insanely well written political plot,,
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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Podcast Recommendations
Desert Skies
This is a truly unique podcast. After death, you travel to the afterlife in a 1986 Buick Skylark. Our characters man the first gas station on the road through the Astral plane.
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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Love seeing everyone’s varying depictions of the Magnus Protocol gang but my drawing skills are BUSTED so even though I can’t draw her atm just know that my headcanon of Alice is this specific photo of Susan Kare lmao
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nightblood999 · 6 months ago
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Podcast Recomendation:
Life With Althaar
John B, a humble repairman and "former human" (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in the galaxy.
He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the "HEC," once the site of Humanity's First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. "The Fairgrounds" is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don't go there, you end up there.
John's luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions).
Try this Podcast if you like:
Wolf 359
Fun plot, interesting characters, and set in space! Plus, as the story goes on you will become more and more emotionally invested. Both podcasts have main characters whp start off stereotypical and bland but become more and more likeable as the show goes on. (Also sentient plants).
Marscorp
While marscorp is arguable more focused on Comedy, the similarities with LWA are many. All the characters are unique and the voice actors do a great job!
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nightblood999 · 7 months ago
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I have kept listening and I can officially say this show is wonderful. The high pitched squeaks which appear sometimes may hurt my ears, but it's so worth it. Would 100% recommend. I think I may just be very sensitive to high pitched noises.
I started listening to Life With Althaar and it seems right up my alley, exactly the kind of stuff I love! There's one problem though... I can never tell what althaar is saying, and not just them, some of the other higher pitched characters are hard to hear as well, something about their voices blending in with the background noise. Does anyone know if the audio gets better? Because I don't know if I can handle only hearing half of all the conversations.
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nightblood999 · 7 months ago
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I started listening to Life With Althaar and it seems right up my alley, exactly the kind of stuff I love! There's one problem though... I can never tell what althaar is saying, and not just them, some of the other higher pitched characters are hard to hear as well, something about their voices blending in with the background noise. Does anyone know if the audio gets better? Because I don't know if I can handle only hearing half of all the conversations.
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nightblood999 · 10 months ago
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A Family portrait during the Spanish Flu, 1918 ♡
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