nidochara

[nidochara]

370?! I don't even know 370 pornstars. Fuck, I don't even know 370 politicians or actors/actresses or historical figures or even likeable people. Top 370 favourite pornstars. Really?! That implies he knows more than 370. How fucking long is that list?!

[nidochara]

"Deserve to be a lesbian" - wait a second, I have so many questions.

[nidochara]

The way that we learn about Helen Keller in school is an absolute outrage. We read “The Miracle Worker”- the miracle worker referring to her teacher; she’s not even the title character in her own story. The narrative about disabled people that we are comfortable with follows this format- “overcoming” disability. Disabled people as children. Helen Keller as an adult, though? She was a radical socialist, a fierce disability advocate, and a suffragette. There’s no reason she should not be considered a feminist icon, btw, and the fact that she isn’t is pure ableism- while other white feminists of that time were blatent racists, she was speaking out against Woodrew Wilson because of his vehement racism. She supported woman’s suffrage and birth control. She was an anti-war speaker. She was an initial donor to the NAACP. She spoke out about the causes of blindness- often disease caused by poverty and poor working conditions. She was so brave and outspoken that the FBI had a file on her because of all the trouble she caused.

Yet when we talk about her, it’s either the boring, inspiration porn story of her as a child and her heroic teacher, or as the punchline of ableist, misogynistic jokes. It’s not just offensive, it’s downright disgusting.

[nidochara]

I'd ask if the straights are okay but.. jesus.

[nidochara]

Opinion of the day. When someone says that illustrated child porn is fine because there “aren’t any victims,” they make it clear that they don’t actually see paedophiles as a problem, or see anything wrong with paedophilia as a fetish/concept. Or any problem with paedophiles being in our society and having no issue getting eg a job in a school despite being a regular consumer of illustrated child porn. They see the victims of paedophilia as the problem.

[nidochara]

"Drop the T" sorry babe we founded this bitch we stayin here

I’m curious to why you all think this. History disagrees with you.

The first homosexual person credited with speaking publicly in defense of homosexuality was Karl Heinrich Ulrichs in 1867.

The term homosexual was coined in 1869 by homosexual Karl-Maria Kertbeny, who put forward the view that homosexuality was inborn and unchangeable, and fought to legalize it.

The first ever LGB rights organization, the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee, was founded in Berlin on 1897 by homosexual Magnus Hirschfeld.

America’s first LGB rights organization, the Society for Human Rights, was founded in 1924 by Henry Gerber.

The first gay rights organization, the Mattachine Society, was founded in 1950 by homosexual Harry Hay.

The first lesbian rights organization, the Daughters of Bilitis, was founded in 1955 by lesbian couple Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon.

The Stonewall riots took place in 1969. Lesbian Stormé DeLarverie is believed to have initiated the scuffle with the police.Marsha P. Johnson arrived later when the riots were already ongoing, and Sylvia Rivera slept through it.

The T was first added to LGB in the late 1990s.

[nidochara]

darkest.hue: Trigger warning: mentions of extreme violence against women and girls

Part 1/3 (more content to come on this matter)

Note: Although it should go without saying, here are some obvious truths: hip-hop the genre is not innately violent and misogynistic and neither are Black man. Also, hip-hop is not the only genre with abusive men, and the music industry is not the only industry in entertainment with abusive men.

For years now, Black women have been calling for hip- hop to have its "Me Too" reckoning (see recommended readings). Calls have recently reignited following singer Cassie's civil lawsuit against ex-boyfriend Diddy, where she alleges years of r*pe, domestic violence, and sex tr*fficking.

Many were rightfully stunned, horrified, and heartbroken by Cassie's vulnerable account, with many demanding the entire industry be finally held accountable for its pattern of violence against women. But is any of this really that surprising when we consider the way mainstream hip-hop talks about women, particularly Black women? Is it all that surprising when we consider the toxic loyalty and blind allegiance male rappers have to each other? Or the wealth of resources these men have at their disposal to control and harm women all the while flying under the radar? Or the world's disregard for the safety and protection of their Black women/girl victims?

Let's discuss.

Recommended readings for further investigation:

Ms.Magazine: "Black Women, Hip-Hop and #MeToo: 'On the Record' Spotlights Music Industry" by Janell Hobson

Buzzfeed News: "Will Time Ever Be Up For Abusive Men In Hip-Hop?" by Sylvia Obell "Confessions of Video Vixen" by Karrine Steffans

Vox: "Megan Thee Stallion, Me Too, and hip-hop's cycle of misogynoir" by Fabiola Cineas

[nidochara]

The tags is where it's at. That needs to be said.

To this day, I have yet to find more compelling peaking material than Rachel Dolezal. I can’t believe radfems haven’t made a habit of bringing her up in every single anti-trans argument, regardless of topic. But every time she’s brought up, TRAs obscure the argument by splitting hairs about race and culture and ancestry and gender and biology and spectrums, until all their allies simply go silent in confusion and fear, not feeling convinced but too scared to ask for clarity. All arguments they come up with in response choose to focus on why race and gender are different, or why Dolezal is just lying for the attention, but that distinction is completely unnecessary and misses the point as to why people rejected Dolezal in the first place. Black people didn’t reject Dolezal because they thought gender or sex was inherently more fluid than race or ethnicity, or because they thought Dolezal was lying about what she believed herself to be. They rejected her solely because of the harm and insult it would cause black people for a member of the oppressor class to be permitted to disguise themselves as a member of the oppressed. It would obscure your ability to talk about racism where it happens, it would take away opportunities for actual black people, and it would reduce black people to a racist caricature that anyone can vibe with, rather than human beings with a vast range of opinions, interests, and features.

They don’t continue to reject Dolezal because of some purely biological, scientific reason; they reject her because of the potential for harm it would create, reasons which are deeply emotional. Because that’s really the deciding factor on why we tell people they’re not allowed to do something: because it will bring harm to others or themselves. So don’t ask them: “How are race and gender different?” That only gives TRAs the opportunity to get everyone lost in the weeds. Instead, keep an unwavering focus on this single question: “Who would it harm if we recognized Dolezal as black, and how would that harm manifest?” There is literally no answer that TRAs can give to that question that doesn’t also apply to recognizing men as women. Either Dolezal is just as valid as trans people are, or they’re both invalid. Either way, TRAs have to take the L on something, or else just keep spitting death threats and burying their heads in the sand, insisting that white people are an oppressor class but men aren’t. But the point of focusing on Dolezal isn’t to peak the zealots, it’s to peak the normies listening in who’ve probably never been confronted with such a massive cognitive dissonance before. The point is to make the fence-sitters start feeling uncomfortable about not being able to defend their own beliefs, which will compel the braver ones to start asking even more questions that TRAs damningly can’t answer. Eventually, trans allies will get tired of getting rage and accusations of bigotry instead of actual answers, and maybe then they’ll finally realize they’re better off leaving and seeking out their own answers.

everything you've written is spot on, but i've seen this debate happen several times and inevitably the answer is just, "you're racist for even making this comparison." or, when terry crews (a Black man) made this comparison, "you're transphobic for even making this comparison." most liberals are so scared of being labeled as either that they will simply back down rather than demand a reason why it's supposedly racist/transphobic, and that's what transactivists are really counting on. that's kind of their entire game plan. they need to make it so everyone is so terrified of being labeled transphobic that they don't dare ask any questions let alone criticize the ideology.

[nidochara]

Oof. Speaks about other people needing to be educated about Hitler and cites American and Australian newspapers. Doesn't speak a singular fucking word of German, relies on biased, translated sources but believes they're educated. Don't talk about Hitler or WW2 as if you had a singular fucking clue.

Because he would definitely like a left wing woman's tweet about female erasure

[nidochara]

"I'm uncomfortable when we're not talking about me?"

northern ireland: finally makes gay marriage legal :D

trans activist: how do i make this about me

[nidochara]

"can i be mean for a second?" you can be mean for 10,000 years and i'll hang onto your every word, my queen. my goddess

[nidochara]

The best explanation for the ambivalent feelings that arise if you understand misogyny but still have men in your life you care for.

I noticed you got some pretty obnoxious asks, specifically from men/males recently and I'd like to say I'm sorry on behalf of my gender.

That said, it seemed like you didn't have a particularly high opinion of men in general and I was wondering if that's something you'd deny, as in, you don't classify all dudes as the same whiny, incel, sexist, etc dickheads?

This is a difficult one to answer, because I have a husband and a son, who I absolutely adore. I don't consider them (or my brothers, or my step-father, or my friends) to be any of those things.

But it's also easy to see how simple it would be for them to fall into misogynistic ways of thinking. My husband is pretty good at spotting things like that, but he's also said things like "Women shouldn't be property managers" when he was angry. This is a man who has often defended me and my opinions against his own friends and family, but he can still say things like that in anger? Does that mean he was just mad, or does that mean it's an internalised belief?

And my *son* - he's still tiny. He's lovely and he sticks to me like glue. But he came home from school last year and said that all the boys were talking about how girls can't run fast and they can't go to school in some parts of the world because they're "too dumb". I asked him if he thought it was true, and he said no, but all the other boys said it was, so he didn't know. And even though he's only 9, other boys in his class have talked about pornography to him. And their parents didn't care, or see a problem with it.

So it feels like the social community of men is overwhelmingly negative towards women, from a young age, and it takes a lot of work from mothers/ female partners to combat that sexism. And that's *annoying*. Because what it leads to, is active, violent sexism. It's easy for a little kid to hear "Girls can't go to school in Afghanistan" and then a friend says "it's because they're dumb" and they internalise that girls are dumb. They can't make decisions. They can't have choices. They're objects. It speeds toward the end station of that train of thought, which is that you can treat women like less than human.

Like the guy in my asks the other day who said that women on a reality show is "proof" that women can't cope with difficulty. They take what they see that fits with the stereotypes they grew up with, and unless it gets combated - and they're willing to take that conflicting information on board - they do become incels or just awful men.

I do have to combat it daily in the children around me, and I'm lucky with my own son because he talks to me about everything, but not every child is going to ask those questions.

It's also hard for me to think peacefully about men because I worked for so long in womens crisis (and to a lesser extent, mental health for both sexes). It wasn't just men in poverty hitting their wives. It was rich men, powerful men, educated men. White men, men of colour, men who you would see on the street and they'd smile at you and you would never know they *forced a woman to dance on broken glass* to get her car keys back so she could escape. Or if they'd follow us to the safe house. Or if they'd hurt the pets to get back at their victim. Or to a somewhat lesser extent - you'd never know this man masturbates to "Young barely legal asian small bust crying teen PUNISHED WITH ANAL" and then they greet you at work like they're normal - because they think they are.

I love the men in my life. Individually, I can talk to them. If they say something, I can reason with them. But day after day of dealing with battered women, trafficked women, underage girls who have been violated, the statistics we had to compile every three months on domestic violence, dealing with the family courts and uncaring police officers..

It really does break you. That's why I left, that's why I work so happily in a department store now. I fuck up selling something to someone, they get a refund, life goes on. I used to go into work and a woman would refuse to stay in the safe house because "my kids need a father" and I'd wonder if the next time I saw her face it would be on the news because she was murdered.

[nidochara]

As a queer Gen Z, I constantly think about how there’s such a huge chunk of the queer community that’s simply… missing. So much of the queer community died during AIDS that almost an entire generation of us is simply not there anymore.

Those queer people were supposed to be our teachers, our mentors, maybe even our parents or grandparents. Those queer people were supposed to be there for us. They were supposed to be at pride events, welcoming all the young queers. They were supposed to be representation in our careers. Those people were supposed to be there to help us navigate life as queer people, and it’s devastating for both us and them that they never got to do it.

[nidochara]

almost as if… you cant change se- (gunshots)

[nidochara]

Peaking can be really overwhelming and some people in that community can be seriously nasty. It's okay to have to talk about it, to let it all out. If crying cleanses the soul, venting cleanses the mind.

Sorry for posting so much, I’ll probably slow down in a few days…I just peaked like a week ago and it’s sort of been a floodgate of me realizing how much insane crap I just put up with and made excuses for in the trans community, how much marginalization and silencing I let myself be subjected to, how many times I convinced myself things were fine even when they were talking about murdering and raping people of my sex in front of me.

[nidochara]

this thing of transphobes saying “lgb” makes me ACTUALLY violent. like, i ACTUALLY want to punch them right in their fucking mouth

[nidochara]

Well.. fuck. Just.. fuck. Fuckity fuckity fuck.

Oh yeah, this is gonna be a banger