nickvalenfine - Tumblr blog

[nickvalenfine]

[nickvalenfine]

Friend: Dude wtf why did you put glitter in my coffee I was going to drink that?

Me: aesthetic

[nickvalenfine]

[nickvalenfine]

you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker

[nickvalenfine]

I genuinely think that MLB should institute one of two things:

have teams stop playing for the season once they're mathematically eliminated from playoff contention

make the two worst teams play each other in a Reverse World Series

[nickvalenfine]

You know what. That ain't right

[nickvalenfine]

It's pretty funny to me that the most tedious game to run combat in I've ever GMed, more than even d&d 5e, is Iron Oxside. The game I made.

I will be working on the next update soon lmao

[nickvalenfine]

Imagine a person who only consumes Batman-related media. That is, they only watch movies and TV shows that have Batman in them, only read books that are novelisations of Batman media, only play licensed Batman video games, and so forth. This is not so absurd an idea; Batman-related media is sufficiently popular, varied and widespread that restricting one's media consumption in this way is completely feasible. However, I trust we can agree that if you actually do this, you will be left with very strange ideas about what popular media looks like.

The next step in this analogy is undestanding that if the only tabletop RPG you're acquainted with is Dungeons & Dragons, you have the same grasp of the tabletop roleplaying hobby as our hypothetical Batman Guy has of popular media.

[nickvalenfine]

Imagine a world where every book was just a retelling of Watership Down. Every book someone recommends to you - dystopian YA novel, historical fiction, murder mystery - was carried out through the medium of sapient rabbits. Most of them even still using specific terms from the lapine language, and, by default, sharing the setting of rural midcentury Britain. Like, there are other books with other settings and other archetypes, but the vast majority of stories are shoehorned into somehow being about rabbits in burrows. You might think I'm setting up a metaphor for the corporate monopoly held by Wizards of the Coast through Dungeons and Dragons, but, actually, I just wanted you to imagine this world with me. Wouldn't it be perfect?

[nickvalenfine]

So there's this person I cannot meet. I mean, they're in the same social circles as me. They're only 4-5 years younger than me. We have mutual friends. We've been invited to the same parties. But I refuse to meet them for one simple reason.

I fucked their parents when I was 21. I met them both at a sex club and hooked up with both their mom and dad, twice my age at the time. Now this means this person I've never met, I avoid. Because I figure if I meet them one of two things will happen.

1. I will tell them about fucking their parents. This seems uncouth to me. Like, why would they want to know that??

2. I DON'T tell them I fucked their parents. This seems disingenuous to me. Like, I'd be withholding information they should have before getting to know me.

So, I keep slight tabs on their online life and try to make sure never to be at the same place as them.

I've told a few people this who are completely unattached to the situation and mostly they tell me I should try and sleep with this person, but that sounds like it could be a huge big deal and I just don't want to have that much awkwardness in my life.

oh my god

[nickvalenfine]

[nickvalenfine]

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

[nickvalenfine]

i got a semiotic parasite and now the space between my name and what my name signifies is all inflamed and itchy

[nickvalenfine]

why are these kinds of levels so alluring...

[nickvalenfine]

I swear to god one of these days were going to see a video of Amaury Guichon and he's going to be making some wings and they are going to look dope as hell, the detail of each feather will be breathtaking, he'll spray paint them to perfection, but as the video goes on, he's not building any sort of winged creature, just the wings. And then there's a human-sized harness (also made of chocolate, somehow, he can do it). And he's attaching the wings to the harness. And he's putting the harness on and he demonstrates how he can flap the wings. And then he'll be off. Out the window and up and up and up. And we'll be looking at the livestream (it's a livestream now) and we'll scream "No, Amaury, the sun! It's going to melt the wings!". But he knows this already. And he is free.

[nickvalenfine]

piel

I saw this photo of a Gannet taken by Paul Miguel on twitter and immediately thought "oh that's an angel" so I wanted to draw it out before I forgot.