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Does Social Media Make us More Lonely or Connected?

Staying Connected through Quarantine

I wrote this entry before, but sitting here in my bed stuck in quarantine, I began to rethink my stance on the question. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen anyone other than my family. The COVID-19 outbreak has been a truly terrifying time in everyone’s lives at the moment. Not only that but it had a serious effect on people’s mental health. I knew at the beginning how challenging social distancing was going to be as I'm the type of person who needs to see friends and have regular interaction to feel somewhat sane. Now that it has been ten days into quarantine, I don't feel as bad I thought I would just because of social media. I would have never thought it would be so beneficial to me at this time, but it makes me feel so much more connected to the people I love.

I have a group of friends that I’m very close to, though we all go to different schools. We see each other virtually every weekend or after school. When we were all hit with quarantine most of us were longing for friend interaction. Through social media, we have found ways to still feel like we are somewhat hanging out all together. We have a group chat that is constantly being used whenever someone is feeling bored. Which you can imagine is a lot as everyone is stuck at home. We also have been talking multiple times a day over video chat. I have never been a person who has been into facetime, but now it is my new favorite thing. We call even when there is nothing to talk about, but still having that somewhat face to face with friends is very healing when you’re feeling lonely. It does feel like you are getting some interaction throughout the day even if it’s through a screen. I’ve downloaded a Netflix extension which allows you to watch movies at the same time as your friends. As well as I have played countless games that connect all of your phones so you can play at the same time. My favorite thing I have done is had a ‘sleepover’ with my best friend. We just turned on facetime, did some facemask at the same time, made some tea, and then we propped the phone beside our beds and had a late-night convo before we fell asleep all done over facetime. It is clear that social media is giving me a sense of connectedness I need in these quiet times

Although I would say that social media has been beneficial in these times, I would never say it is a complete substitute. It will never come close to actual in-person interaction but it does a good job of giving even the needed feeling of connectedness. Marshall McLuhan quote, “There are no remote places. Under instant circuitry, nothing is remote in time or space. It’s now.” I interpreted this of how widespread social media is. There is no such thing as remote unconnected places. I can talk to my family members around the world whenever I want and have access to all my friends through out the day.  Social media allows us to access connections and communication everywhere we are. That is why I still feel connected to everyone I love even though I have been stuck in my room for 240 hours.

some blurry photos of my friend interactions right now^^^ 

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How I felt after realizing all media is a construct

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Online Value Messages: Does the Internet make us nice or mean?

How to Ruin someone’s life: cancel culture

I think we can all admit sometimes we enjoy being angry. One thing is for sure the internet LOVES to be angry at someone or something. If you think about it, there is never really a time where someone isn’t ranting on twitter or a hashtag is trending. This somewhat hate-driven movement on social media is a weird way of finding a community to all ban together. It's a security blanket to many people, taking anger out onto someone else online to feel better about yourself. As mentioned before, the internet is a platform where anyone can say anything. This can be for the worse as everything you've made public is now accessible. This accessibility became a serious issue for celebrities because now everything they chose to post online can potentially ruin their career. Let's take into consideration Kevin Hart, well-known comedian, He was chosen to host the Oscars in 2019. After this was announced, old homophobic tweets that Hart had made resurfaced online. The tweets disturbed many as displayed his thoughts towards potentially having a gay son. Hart said he would break a dollhouse over his head if he saw him playing with it. Homophobic tweets like this continued from 2009 to 2011, before he became a well-known celebrity. Kevin Hart did not realize the severity those old posts were to his career. When these tweets came back into the light before the Oscar nominations. Hart received a wave of hate and criticism from the LGBTQ+ community. After apologizing Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Oscars.

I would never excuse the offensive and unsettling things Hart tweeted, but I feel towards the fact these tweets will be pegged on him for the rest of his career. He said he would never repeat those jokes today and posted multiple apologies on twitter before the nominations. The apologies don’t matter to the public, he said those things and those tweets will be attached to him as long as his career. They will unfortunately resurface and resurface whenever someone decides to bring them up again. This has happened to countless celebrities, YouTubers, influencers, something they said years ago is pulled up and the internet goes crazy. Hashtags, drama videos, articles, spread everywhere. My question is, ‘What is the point?’ If they have grown as people, should they still be ridiculed for their actions? This cancel culture is very scary for celebrities as something said on the internet can ruin their whole career. In this world of social media shaming, it’s one strike and you’re out. Cancel culture does not only affect celebrities, but independent businesses are also impacted by the internet. Think about the last time you were curious about a new restaurant, you probably searched up the reviews. If you saw a super negative review, the likelihood is you will probably choose another place to eat. That comment someone else chose to post online could potentially ruin a business. Reviews online are essentially permanent and it's hard to get yourself back on your feet. The fact that everything a business has worked for can be taken away from them by strangers online is terrifying. Even Barack Obama himself, weighed in on the cancel culture phenomenon, describing it as an overly judgmental approach to activism that does little to bring about change. This part of social media needs to learn forgiveness. People should apologize for their actions but should not be attacked for mistakes they made years ago. We must recognize and accept people grow. Cancel culture allowed us to understand the power of people’s voices banned together, imagine the impact if we strived for actual global change rather than canceling Kevin Hart.

(note: I really dislike Kevin Hart as a comedian, I just used him to prove my point.)

https://medium.com/the-ascent/has-social-media-made-us-mean-2778aceddf67

https://www.billboard.com/articles/events/oscars/8492982/kevin-hart-oscar-hosting-controversy-timeline

[niamhmedialogs]

Dear Instagram,

There is no easy way to say this, but I think we should break up. Our relationship is not healthy, I depend on you too much. So much of my time is wasted on you. Hours of my life scrolling and scrolling till my thumb cramps up. Even after all those hours, I realized I don't even enjoy it. I feel like when I'm with you my mind turns off. I’m cut off from the world around me but you create the illusion I'm more connected. Sure I can see what my friends from across the world are doing, but do I really need to see what they had for breakfast in the morning? Do I need a constant reminder of what everyone is doing at all times? What concert they went to, pics of their last vacation, or their favorite iced coffee spot. Why do I need to remind people of what I'm doing at all times? What value does this really have? And is it healthy for me to be seeing people’s ‘perfect’ lives constantly? Because honestly after hours of looking at this content, I will not remember a single thing I saw on the app. I only feel bad that my life isn’t as ‘perfect’ as the people I follow. It’s annoying that I still feel this way knowing it’s all a construct and I shouldn’t give Instagram that much value in my life. I should seek happiness elsewhere and not seek the validation that I am having just as much fun as everybody else. This constant cycle of knowing it's a construction but forgetting as soon as I click onto the app is infuriating. I keep saying I’m going to delete the app and somehow I never do. Whenever my mind goes blank I find myself scrolling. I don't even remember clicking on the app, but somehow I'm drawn back to you. You are aware of how much I need you. You are designed to be like that. You are designed to get people addicted. We get the attention we crave on the app. Feeling bursts of happiness when we get a like, a follow a comment. When you think about it it really isn't anything. That little has no value, but somehow we have given it one. It gives us sweet validation after posting, the validation we are loved and people care. In reality, no one really cares about your last post. We are trapped in this social media bubble, cause as soon as you delete it you feel even worse. You feel like you are missing out on all of the parties, the group chat convos, everything that makes you feel connected is lost once you delete the app. ‘Fomo’ and validation is what fuels you. The saddest part is even though I say we will break up, deep down I know I can’t leave you.

Unfortunately yours, Niamh

https://www.businessinsider.com/psychology-of-why-instagram-is-addictive-2014-11

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Online Value Messages: Does the Internet make us nice or mean?

How to ruin someone’s life: the Internet trolls

On May 5th, 2017, about twenty minutes after posting a picture on Instagram, I received a comment on the post. The comment read “KYS” (kill yourself). It was made by a kid that attended my old elementary school. I had never had a class with this kid or even had a conversation with him before. This comment was quite out of the blue, but having grown up with the internet like many others, our generation has learned to grow a thick skin when it comes to things said on the internet. There is so much hate and negativity thrown around the internet most of have learned to ignore it. The thing that puzzled me was there was nothing controversial or problematic about my photo at all. The post was of little grade nine me in the park with a group of friends. This made me further question his reasoning behind his comment and what leads people to leave hateful comments on a post?         

     The internet is the first platform in history that anyone can access and contribute to with virtually no censorship. With a platform where everyone is anonymous, it diminishes one's accountability for their actions. This open platform is a recipe for a hateful environment, as it lacks the consequences of real-life that keep people civil and respectful. In our everyday lives, we don’t say hurtful things to people, because we might tarnish our reputations, lose our jobs, or face other sorts of punishment. We police ourselves to avoid these social consequences. We find more strategic ways to deal with our emotions to not lose face. In a place where social consequences don't exist, it is open range for anyone to say any mean or hateful thing whenever they want. 

      This environment created a group commonly referred to as ‘internet trolls’. People who “antagonize others online by deliberately posting inflammatory, irrelevant, or offensive comments.” This group of people thrives on the internet as they can get away with almost anything. They are untouchable behind a screen and free to go as far as they want. In many cases, it does go too far. For example, BBC covered the story of a young girl from Leeds, whose life was ruined by trolls on the internet. She was targeted online on the Live.me streaming app. She began receiving death threats daily and incredibly obscene comments. The ‘trolls’ went to lengths of superimposing her face on pornographic images and sharing her address as a “house to burgle”. From the comments online she has felt unsafe in her own home and goes on anxiety medication. All from people on the internet not realizing they are taking things too far, unaware of their effect on the person on the other side of the screen.        

    The reason there are so many cases like this girl, where things go too far is the “lack of eye contact”. People can not see the extreme impact of their actions. They can't see the person’s face, the pain and sadness they cause. The screen disconnects people from reality and the severity of their actions. As I now reflect on the boy who commented on my post. The comment itself directed at me wasn’t as concerning as the fact this boy could be commenting on a person’s posts where it could have a serious impact. He is not aware of everyone's personal situation. I have a feeling he commented things similar to that often and ignorantly. My biggest regret from that situation was not reaching out to that kid. I am sure he wasn’t thinking of his words' impact, as those comments on his end seemed to have no consequences. If I went back in time I would message him telling him the horrible impact those three letters can cause

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-41693437

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Deconstructing a Meme - My investigation of a potentially harmful meme

About a year ago, I came across a new meme that took Tiktok by storm. The meme started with a person filming themselves in the mirror saying, “this is my voice a day of *insert anything*” progressively their voice would change over time. The meme although a simple concept was quite funny as people created unique concepts. The first one I remember seeing was. “This is my voice one day of living in soviet Russia” where the guy's voice progressively turned into a thick Russian accent over a year. I decided to look deeper into the meme. Finding out who started this meme? What sparked its popularity? Why did people find it so funny? From my internet deep-dive, I discovered the meme’s harmful origins and how it affected many people.

First I researched the origins of the videos, who created this meme and put it on Tiktok? The first video posted to Tiktok On December 1st, 2018, YouTuber Totallionelml uploaded a video of TikTok of her voice progressively changing “after watching anime”. The video gained traction but really blew up 16 days later, when popular YouTuber Akame Hyuna, Reuploaded Toallioneml’s video. Within two weeks, the video gained over 218,000 views and over 500 comments. After the TikTok trend became viral. Scrolling through you could find versions of this meme. To get an idea of this popularity I went onto google trends and was able to form a graph from the number of google searches of the meme. (linked down below).

I found the simple meme quite enjoyable. The Tiktok concept, for the most part, seemed like light-hearted humor. When further research I found the meme’s true origin. I was shooked to find out the videos were based on ones made by the trans-community. As testosterone progression videos amongst the trans community were widely popular. These videos often depicted them in the camera saying “this is my voice 1 week on testosterone” and showing the overall progression of their voice. I was shocked to find this out. Was this meme covertly taking a jab at the trans community?

I decided to look into what the trans community had to say about this meme. I found a Reddit thread that was titled “This is my voice a month on ___" TikTok meme: is this offensive? “ This thread encouraged trans people to open up about their feelings towards this meme. I pulled out some comments from the thread. A person by the handle of “lietkeynes” commented, “I mean it's stupid and cruel but I feel like the best thing to do is ignore it. They want a reaction- don't waste your energy on them. Or support trans YouTubers who are documenting their transitions.” Reddit user “Penn215” commented, “I think that's super fucked up and transphobic.” another person by the handle of “Reservoirdogging” wrote, “I do feel a bit weird about people outside our community referencing that, but I watched half the video and to be fair some are pretty funny, and they’ve just taken the format to make unrelated jokes”. From what I saw, many found the meme quite offensive, as testosterone progression videos are significant in the trans community. Twisting those videos into a meaningless meme was quite appalling to them. What I found interesting was many of the people in the comments said not to bother with the meme. It was just a meme and was going to blow over eventually. Some even realized that most people that were contributing to the meme were completely oblivious to its roots and had no intention of mocking the Trans community.

Researching this meme was an eye-opening experience. It was able to show me that memes, ones I gave a chuckle and a like to, could hurt people. As we consume media in a shallow and empty way, we fail to look deeper into a post. Posts are fleeting parts of our experience online, as soon as we scroll past them they leave our mind. We should begin to take a moment to question is this meme or post harmful to someone? Many times it is, and we don’t even know.

(Example of some Tiktoks compared to Trans artist Chella man’s testosterone progression video).