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well well well if it isn’t august slipping away

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starting a collection #blackmold

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PBS Viewers Like You bumpers (1989-1999)

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I can’t wait to beat OFF again it’s been like 8 years

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i got a fully remote corporate job and now every day feels like this

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Reddit sucks bc on there you make a comment like this and people downvote it but on here it would have 10 thousand notes

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i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. you think your life is hard? try asking the cutest guy in your grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he has a fucking girlfriend. you don’t know my life or my story so keep my name out of your nasty mouth. life is a battlefield and it looks like i’ve already won.

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where is I’m a jaded teenage girl

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I AM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THAT I WILL UNFOLLOW THE FUCK OUT OF YOU IF I SEE YOU REBLOGGING THAT PHOTO-SET OF THE COCKATOO COVERED IN CHOCOLATE

That is not funny

That is not cute

It is animal abuse

BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE

BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE

Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason.

You idiots can have all the chuckles you want over the fact that that poor animal is “living the dream” but I hope you also know that it probably died from that.

And if you still find it funny then I genuinely do not want to associate you and can only wish upon you the most painful and awful death imaginable. 

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this was a coded transmission concealing information about the positions of american nuclear submarines

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keep thinking of this tweet and trying to not crack up in front of women

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hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap

do NOT smoke weed beside them

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i keep spending a lot of time on twitter for utdr content but then i start to feel my brain melt and drip out of my nose and i have to come to tumblr to solidify it

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Before and after yep hes mustard gravy

Didnt smell good so i poured it down the drain without take a bite

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they are hanging out!!!!!