ng123456789 - Tumblr blog

[ng123456789]

Hey, Naz, here’s some pics of birds without wings. Thinking about you and hoping you’re doing alright <3

this has literally made my day 

[ng123456789]

naz we miss u

🥲 me too. i wanna come back. i just don’t know how to. it’s overwhelming. i’ve been like doing really shit mentally recently. funny that i was going on ab how i’m in such a better place but then shit goes south. who knows maybe i’ll go back to youtube as a way to cope again but i’m sorry for being so out of the loop, i just don’t know what to do lol. hope everyone is okay 

[ng123456789]

whats the name of your yt channel?

i’ve deactivated my channel for the time being. if i ever do return, i’ll make sure to let you know

[ng123456789]

i have honestly missed you a lot and I don't know if you will see this but I wanted to let you know I met one of my best friends through you!

ah that’s awesome, i’m so glad to hear it. i hope you’re both doing well!

[ng123456789]

how are you doing?

i’m okay! i’ve been in a bit of a rough patch for the past week or so because i’ve finally gotten off my sleep meds so i’m coping with the withdrawal symptoms, but i’ve been spending the free time with my friends and watching anime :)

[ng123456789]

Hey I'm so glad you're okay!!! Are you gonna be on here much anymore? Missed you <3

i can still talk with you guys on here if you’d like. i’m not opposed to it in the slightest but i suppose i don’t think many people care or remember me like they used to. but feel free to chat with me, i’d love to speak with some of you

[ng123456789]

i’m aware that it’s been four months since i announced my rebrand, and i’m also aware that i’ve been keeping you all in the dark for those four months. i want to apologise. no matter what was happening in my personal life, i’d always interact with you all. i’ve just stayed silent all this time, which is a bad move on my part. i get tons of messages saying that what i’m doing, not uploading or interacting with you guys, is ruining all the hard work i put into my channel. the simple truth is that people lose interest over time, especially if you’ve been silent on social media for so long. i almost felt like it was justified because i have a very small audience, but i’ve been seeing your messages of concern and i want to clear the air.

i mentioned that i was going to start uploading again in january. clearly, that didn’t go to plan, as it’s now february and i still haven’t uploaded. the thing is, i don’t know where i stand with this whole youtube thing. i initially started my channel in january of 2018, when i began to stop going outside. as a result of that, i pretty much lost everything. i lost my friends, my education, and i was alone. the reason why i made a youtube channel was so i had people to talk to. even if it was two or three people - i just wanted to live somewhat of a normal teenage life and at least have contact with other people my age. youtube was a place for me to go when i felt lonely. interacting with all of you on tumblr, in live streams, on twitter, grounded me.

as you all know, i went outside for the first time in 2019. it was around the time i rebranded. that wasn’t the only change though - i also finally made friends. real friends. a group of sixteen people that have changed my life. i always thought friendship was overrated, until i met them. the bond we have, the connection we have, is something i’ve never experienced before. the amount of laughter and tears we’ve shared, the amount of dumb shit we get up to, the amount of love and solidarity is something i’ve never felt. all this time, i was searching for something to fill this empty hole of loneliness, and i could finally stop looking once i met them.

as a result of this, i’ve been slacking on social media. i’m finally at a place where i can focus on what’s important. my friends, my education, my therapy sessions and most of all, my recovery. and that doesn’t mean my channel isn’t important to me, because it is. i just don’t know if i want it to be my main focus at this point in time. for now, i just want to focus my energy into other things. this doesn’t mean i’m quitting youtube. i just think that, for the moment, i need to breathe and take each day as it comes.

honestly, the future terrifies me, but i hope i take you all on this journey with me. my channel is on a pause for now, but i’m looking forward to when i come back. i won’t let you guys down.

see you all soon 🥰

[ng123456789]

i sent u a dm in here like a month ago ;-;

i’m so sorry idk what’s going on but my messages just won’t load,, if u have anything u want to say then feel free to dm me on insta instead or u can send an ask!!!

[ng123456789]

How are you?

as my friend dice would say

i’m vibin B)

[ng123456789]

How was your birthday?

good! my friend sky spammed me 666 happy birthday messages. best birthday ever

[ng123456789]

happy birthday 🥳

❤️

[ng123456789]

your last anon.... oh only 23 million people no biggie 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LMAO FR

[ng123456789]

The fuck kinda loser stans bts oml scarlet

imagine calling people losers because of who they stan lololol the entitlement is real

[ng123456789]

2020 gonna be your year sis I can feel it

dude this means a lot to me,, i really hope it is,, ily ):

[ng123456789]

Sis said “One bultoreune and we’re dead” NAZ I CANT WITH YOU SOSKSKSKSKKSJSKSKSK IM DYING

hhhhhhhhh lmaooo

[ng123456789]

yoongi can choke me to death please and thanks

y’know,, none of us even have the capacity to capture yoongi’s essence,, he just transcends above all,, he’s like thanos,, one bultaoreune and we’re dead

[ng123456789]

omg since when have you liked bts? that’s amazing

since 2015 actually! literally would die for them cough especially yoongi cough