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Tumblr after 12/16/18:

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things i’ve learned from nearly 2 years raising garden snails:

- they have best friends - they’ll go out of their way to sit on their best friends, kiss their best friends, and share lunch with them - lettuce is to snails what a favorite ball is to a dog - if ur tasty they’ll give u gentle scrapes - they are SOCIAL!!!!! - they all have very distinct personalities and quirks - they like comfort, they are affectionate - u can actually tell when a snail is sleepy because they’ll only stick their stalks halfway out and wiggle them gently - they’re very curious - they’re very clean and they love maintaining their shells - cuttlebone YUMMY, make shell BIG

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I just realized the climax of the Lion King is kind of hilarious.

Because it came down to a showdown fight between Scar and Simba. And here’s something great about them: they are the weakest little shits.

Scar was this skinny twig of a lion who probably only got the 11th+ portion of any kill because nobody liked him, and the only way he could one-up anyone was through trickery, and/or by softening them up with a wildebeest herd.

Simba grew up without ever having to chase his prey or work particularly hard because he lived on a diet of insects and nothing else. Nala could kick his ass because she was a goddamn proper hunter.

So the final battle was the equivalent to a pasty-faced metrosexual teen slap-fighting a starving 60-year old

10/10

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wait for it, i promise it’s worth it

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an ex art student’s lament

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happy krimis

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useless ancient roman law facts

if you call someone to witness and they refused to show up, you are legally entitled to stand outside their house and scream, but only every third day

you can sell your son into slavery once or twice, but after the third time he doesn’t have to put up with that shit anymore

no wailing allowed at funerals

also you can only have ONE funeral per person, don’t get greedy

if your neighbor’s tree has a branch hanging into your yard, you can legally cut down the entire fucking tree

however, if some of your neighbor’s fruit from his dumb tree falls into your yard, he can legally come into your yard to snoop around get it

if you call someone to witness and they’re too sick or old to get to court themselves, you have to provide a cart for them to come in, but it doesn’t have to be, like, a nice cart if you don’t want it to

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Do this four times repeatedly and you’ll be out. But how does it work? There’s some real brain science behind it.

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As an apology for me not posting much original content lately, please accept these pictures of my favourite fungi:

candlesnuff fungus

chorioactis geaster

lion’s mane

indigo milk cap

bleeding tooth fungus

phallus impudens

octopus stinkhorn

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Straight people: tumblr lgbt snowflakes are so easily offended lmao get over it babies

One Trans Kid: Link is trans and I’m proud of him

Every straight within a 50 mile radius:

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I love how tumblr was taken down and we who are here dont give a fuck

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Low key worried this game is gonna make me a furry and I’ll been fucking a bad dragon dildo by the end of this game lmao

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Calling all artists!

If your commissions are open and you do draw OC’s, please reblog this post! 

If you are not an artist but know of one, please reblog this and tag them or just mention their url in the tags! 

And hey, even just reblogging helps! I will be keeping a comprehensive list of artists who can be commissioned to draw characters/OC’s on the blog!

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Y’all r wildin OUT