neodith

[neodith]

straight men are on something else

[neodith]

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

[neodith]

When you turn 18, you go to the Chapel to summon a Familiar, then your future is decided based on its shape. All you can do is name the creature and then the summoning does the rest. After you name it, the priestesses all stare at you with horror in their eyes, then scream when it appears.

[neodith]

"They're going to bury you three feet deep, because you've only ever been half a man" sounds like a raw ass line from Shakespeare or something buts actually from me yelling at my cat for stealing my sandwich while I was getting a drink.

[neodith]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[neodith]

Time loop

Guys, let's make a sandwich. I'll start:

Bread

[neodith]

this is about procrastinating. or executive dysfunction. i think

[neodith]

ANYWAYS, hi! I am gonna be busy and stuff, so might not be one here in a long while (then you look at my activity and see 7+hrs everyday for the rest of the week...), but setting that aside here's some updates :)

-boifrien :) -hoco dance was amazing -my frien has a crash and burn bf (i dont like him, i hope he leaves soon) -THE HEAT FINALLY WORKS IN MY HOUSE

[neodith]

woowoowoowoowooowoowoowoowoowoowoo

[neodith]

eternal imprisonment in a coin is suddenly looking really good

[neodith]

you know I have to do every single silly trend with them

[neodith]

recently we were out on a hilltop taking photos of the comet and suddenly some car's headlights blind us from across the bay. literally four miles away.

who the fuck is out here with these nuclear fusion powered headlights. who puts naval searchlights on their fucking toyota tacoma.

[neodith]

i was trying to get a pic of my shiny Treecko in battle and i accidentally made an anime opening

[neodith]

Percy listens to those whale noises that people use to sleep and he just listens to them like a podcast.

And any time he hears someone like Annabeth listening to them he's like "Wow Daphne is really something else. Honestly I can't believe she would do that"

And like she's like "what?"

And Percy just translates the entire thing to her and instead of calming sounds to help her concentrate she now has Percy tell her all the whale drama which she is oddly immersed with.

[neodith]

words can't describe how much I love these dorks, help.

It's probably an unhealthy obsession at this point. My family doesn't understand and I have a hard time talking to people who do, lol.

[neodith]

[neodith]