neglecteddistress

[neglecteddistress]

𝑹𝒆𝒃𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒅 𝒂 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 ; the battle to get back to us.

The one thing that Carina DeLuca had wanted from a young age was to be a mother. She wanted to experience parenthood, to be pregnant and go through the whole process but she wasn’t going to just settle with anyone. She had watched her parents’ marriage fall apart and had seen what it had done to both herself and her younger brother, Andrea. She wasn’t going to bring a child into something that would fail, but that was exactly what she had ended up doing.

Through the fear of being a bad parent, Carina managed to become that very thing she feared. She had met @attentiveheroism​ who just so happened to make her fall so hard in love that she married her. Maya really was the exception to her ‘no marriage’ rule, but now that the two were married, Carina wanted children. Maya said no at first, but in time, her mind changed and the couple began trying for a baby, which turned out to be the hardest thing they had done.

Carina’s eggs kept failing to take and so it put a strain on their marriage, their relationship. Not only that, but Maya had gone through her own downward spiral when life at work was made to be hell. Maya had to work hard on her trauma, working with a therapist before the couple came together again. After that, they tried again for a baby. Carina would carry Maya’s eggs this time and on their second attempt, they found out that they were pregnant. The pregnancy was easy and Carina finally got to experience what carrying a child felt like, but when Elodie Andrea DeLuca-Bishop was born, the Italian’s attitude changed.

Being a mother was hard. All Ellie did was cry and it was breaking Carina’s heart. Carina slipped into postpartum depression and wasn’t sure how to bring herself out of it. She worked hard for 3 years in an attempt to heal but then one phone call ruined all of her hard work. Her father, Vincenzo, had passed away. Carina moved to Italy for a few months to say her goodbyes and hold a funeral for him but when she refused to come back, it caused the arguments to start again. Eventually, she came home and on Ellie’s 4th birthday, she was confronted with an ugly truth. 

Ellie handed Maya some drawings that depicted Carina in an aggressive and sad way. Maya wanted more for Ellie than what she had grown up with from her own father and from what Carina had grown up with from her father. She told Carina that she needed to get help or she was taking Ellie away from her until she could prove she changed. The next day, Carina left. She moved back to Italy, served Maya with divorce papers despite both of them still loving each other and worked on healing in Italy.

It had been 3 years since she had left. Her old friend, Gabriella, had convinced Carina that she needed to get help and needed to get back to her family before she lost them for good. Gabriella had given Maya the address that Carina was staying at in Italy and for 3 years, Maya wrote to her every month with updates on Ellie, gifts from Ellie and photos of everything they had been up to in the hopes that Carina would come back to them. On Ellie’s 7th birthday, Carina opened it all and realised just how much she had missed. She needed to go home... She wanted to see her daughter and wanted to make amends with the woman she loved.

After a few more months of getting everything in line, Carina packed up and moved back to Seattle. She spent a week sorting out her two bedroom apartment, setting up a basic room for Ellie and getting everything prepared to possibly see her daughter again before she decided to contact Maya with the latest phone number from one of Maya’s letters. Placing the box of letters on her living room couch, Carina pulled out her phone and took a deep breath, pulling up the contact information for the love of her life that she had let go ever so easily back then... 

[TEXT : Maya Bishop. Maya, hi. It’s Carina. I know this is really sudden, but I’m back in Seattle. I know I have no right to be reaching out after 3 years of silence, but things have changed. I’ve been working on myself and... I miss you. And Elodie - or should I say Ellie now. Can’t believe she’s 7 already. Anyway, I’m back and I want to see you both again, if that’s okay? I would love to see Ellie, but I can understand if that’s too soon. I don’t know how hard it’s been on you or her, so I respect any decision you make. If we could meet up, though, I would appreciate it. I could cook for us? Love, Carina.] 

Carina read over the message several times, changing it many times before finally settling on the message. She hit send and made herself busy at home, trying not to check her phone every few seconds. This was going to be a tough decision on Maya, but the ball was in her court now. Carina wasn’t going to force her into making any decision she wasn’t comfortable with. She had no right to do such a thing... She just missed her daughter and missed her... Maya. She missed Maya.