nefhasmonster

[nefhasmonster]

TW SH!!

im spazzing out rn my mum threw ALL of my blades out and i want to cut SO bad. LITERALLy SHITTINF TEARS RN.

[nefhasmonster]

TW TALK OF BEING FOLLOWED/SLIGHT SH

i went for a walk just now just down the road from my flats and the security guy from my building went the same way as me , its really dark out btw bc i was near the park. he stopped where i stopped and walked so close behind me i could hear him breathing. i suffer from extreme paranoia and i literally dontt wanna leave my house again. lol.

i went outside to cvt but what he doesnt know wont hurt him 😍

[nefhasmonster]

TW SH ^^^

so many of you are so sad. it legitimately hurts my heart to see the same scars i have on so many other people. it hurts my heart to recognize the fresh blood and the little cuts in so many of your pictures... i really, truly, wish all of you the best. you deserve better than what this shitty selfish world has given us

[nefhasmonster]

TW!! ED BEHAVIOURRS.

you know itsss getting bad again when ur only eatting 2 and a half handfuls of  pasta andd making suree its before 6pm.

[nefhasmonster]

MASSIVE TW!! r@p3/@buse!!

just found out r*pe/ab*se is institutionalised in my family xoxoxoxo how fucked up!!!

[nefhasmonster]

walking through a supermarket and hearing christmas is not exciting me like it did before.i feel like im living underwater or everything is diluted.

[nefhasmonster]

tw talk of sick/fear foods etc

no bcs recovery is ery weird like, ill be halfway through a meal just ignoring the guilt and then stare a bit too hard at the foodd and be grossed out and feel sick. and also my obscene fear of bread. (its only obscene for me im only referring to myself in this sentence, im not invalidating anyone else just me xoxoxo)

[nefhasmonster]

yes mama xx this is SO loud.

"my child is fine" your child wanted to kill herself at 11 years old

[nefhasmonster]

SO! avoiding my head of year did NOT go well, i got into school at 9:30 and i shoudve been there at 8:30, my head of yr waited for me and shouted at me for 10 mins so my day was alr shit, i made my gf sad by accident then i had my head of year for english IN LAST PERIOD. we were doing macbeth and she constantly picked on me while i was fighting an anxiety attack, then she sent me out so i slammed the door bc i was angry and overwhelmed and then she shouted at me but i hate being shouted at and spoken to like im FUCCKING stupid so i had my 3rd mental breakdown of the week. 

in the bathroom stall. xoxoxoxoxo

[nefhasmonster]

If you are a mentally ill person who struggles with violent urges, impulse control, disassociation, anger control, psychosis, or other stigmatized and demonized conditions you are so fucking important and you matter and your needs matter and you deserve better

[nefhasmonster]

guys i have double maths tommorow morning and like 7 detentions that ive been avoiding all week so ig its a stay in the bathroom day! AND ive been running away from my head of year bc i keep skipping classes xx shes gonna kill me i swr-

[nefhasmonster]

its 3:45 am PLS SEND HELP

im finishing an english essay on lady macbeth that was due last week while listening to lana send help send coffee PLEASE  I AM DYING <//3

[nefhasmonster]

⚠️TW SUICIDE⚠️

i hate how parents think that its easy to life in todays society! like seriously!

they are like: all you care about is how you look, and that you are pretty and your hair is pretty BLABLABLA

i mean yes, i care about all of that because i don‘t want to get bullied or bodyshamed, so YES i fucking care about how i look

you are so lazy, you don‘t do anything, you don’t even help me in the household.

sorry that i am not helping you 24/7 but i am here trying to stay alive

your grades are getting so much worse (she means i am stupid, she just won‘t admit it)

as i already said: i am fighting to survive

yes, i skip school, have bad grades, fake your signature

yes, i act like i‘m sick, just so that i don‘t have to go to school

but not because i am lazy or spoiled, but because everything at that school breaks me.

when i sit in class i can‘t concentrate, i can‘t learn because my mind is spinning. i think if it would be a solution to kill myself