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Fic Questionnaire

Thank you, @enteselene, for tagging me! I'm a tiny fic writer, but I like talking about my fics, seeing that I have nothing else in my life.

1. How many works on AO3?

150 (50 of them are a series of ~500-1,000 Kylux ficlets written to a list of prompts)

2. Total AO3 Word Count?

1,155,848

3. Top 5 fics by Kudos?

Ease My Mind (a TBSATDH one-shot I wrote and slapped on AO3 within three hours after finishing the show because I wanted to try my hand at writing polyamory)

When the Line Connects (a fluffy MCU Steve/Bucky comedy that features fannish practices as a love language)

Hold His Broken Pieces (a dark Kylux story about non-sexy sex slavery and a long, convoluted, but ultimately hopeful path to recovery)

Give This Man a Hug (a gen MCU story about Steve Rogers needing—and getting—a goddamn hug)

Compatibility in the Time of Cholera (my very first omegaverse fic, a Kylux story featuring an epidemic that turns all heats into fuck-or-die situations where Hux finds a creative solution to handle the issue)

4. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for Fullmetal Alchemist (Roy/Ed), Marvel Cinematic Universe (Steve/Bucky, Bucky/Loki), The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself (Nathan/Gabriel/Annalise), Our Flag Means Death (Ed/Stede), Star Wars (Kylux), and Supernatural (Wincest). I also wrote fic for Card Captor Sakura when I was ten, not knowing what fanfiction even is, and for Gravitation when I was 16, but, thankfully, those works have been lost.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. I cherish every comment and I do my best to respond to all of them.

6. Angstiest Ending?

Hands down "give me another version, a different room"; it's the second part of a Wincest trilogy "Other Voices, Other Rooms" where Sam keeps trying to kick Dean out of his life, and in this installment, it works. (They do end up together in the end, but that's a different story.)

7. Fic with the Happiest Ending?

Almost all my fics have happy endings because I'm a big, big softie. But I'll say Great Heights, a Wincest story of Sam's love for Dean that spans from pre-Stanford to Heaven and features so much angst, the ending feels that much happier.

8. Do you get hate?

Although I write Kylux and Wincest, I've never had to deal with hate (yet), possibly because I'm just a little guy, not popular enough to be noticed by someone outside a small circle of readers.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Yes, I do. All my Wincest fics are explicit because, to me, actual sex is the only thing the show lacks in terms of their psychotic, irrational, erotic relationship. So that’s the hole I’m filling (all puns intended). (I should probably note that I’m asexual, and it always thrills me when someone calls my smut hot, because I myself don’t see it like that.)

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've written about a dozen Kylux Adjacent fics, which are technically crossovers. Apart from that, I wrote a crossover between Our Flag Means Death and a horror video game Slay the Princess.

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. Hopefully, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, two, both Kylux.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, with a few other members of a Kylux discord. We are yet to post it, though.

14. All time favourite ship?

Wincest. As much as I love Kylux, and I still do, Wincest is THE sibling incest I'd been waiting for my entire life. These two boys are perfect for me. They're the answer to all my dark, twisted heart's prayers.

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A Steve/Bucky story "Shared Death Experience" that I started in 2020. It was supposed to be a story about ghosts where (almost) everyone is dead but it's a comedy. I have 10k written, and I love them, but I just don't have any time left for MCU with my life taken over by SPN events.

16. Writing Strengths?

I've had people praise my phrasing, my dialogue, my characterization, my angst, my fluff, my porn with feels, and my humor. Naturally, I myself think people are being way too kind, but that's what they say.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

Plot. I either get my stories fully (or almost fully) formed in the middle of the night, or I have to sit down and squeeze the story out of my brain with a great deal of pain. Coming up with actual events to take place in the story is like pulling teeth with my bare hands. I can't sustain long plots at all; my two 100k+ fics were written by accident. Don't get me started on Wincest case fics. Which I keep writing. Because I hate myself.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

I had Natasha use some Russian curses in When the Line Connects and a couple of OCs use Ukrainian phrases in How Deep Does the Water Go (a Kylux FBI!Hux & Hacker!Kylo AU), but I mostly avoid mixing languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As I've already mentioned, it was Card Captor Sakura. I was ten. I don't remember a single word, which, I think, is for the best.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I mostly forget every word as soon as I post a fic, and I almost never re-read my own work because I'm too embarrassed by it. However, I had the sweetest time writing "every day, we stray further," a Wincest omegaverse Christmas fic set after 15x19 where Sam softly and tenderly seduces Dean into the best relationship of their lives. This one, I did re-read and it made me happy.

Tagging @spnj2fanlw @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @fictionallemons @jaynesilver @notlikelybutpossible @nylon-rabbit (apologies if you already did it and I missed it)

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From a Wincest WIP:

The Mark and the whispers clash in Dean's head as he continues his trudge forward, the slow progress toward the peace he longs for, the escape from all this mess. He’s so close. His hands are closing over the railing, and he’s thrilled, he’s fucking thrilled. He’s going to trick the Mark—this is violence, exactly what it demands of him. No one said he couldn’t be violent against himself.

this week's word is...

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

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Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 04, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Cursed Object, Christmas, Sibling Incest, Dean Winchester in Denial, There Was Only One Bed, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester/Top Sam Winchester, written to a prompt Series: Part 23 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

Dean is determined to make Sam celebrate Christmas again, no matter how fucked-up their lives are at the moment.

What starts with an innocuous gift quickly deteriorates into being trapped in a cursed object with a monster on the loose, which, on second thought, is exactly the Winchester kind of Christmas.

Set after s04e15 Death Takes a Holiday.

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From a Wincest WIP:

The blood-water slides down his body and he looks at his hands, covered in it, and the Mark gloats, telling him this is how it’ll end. He collapses on the tiled floor, tears weak and useless running down his cheeks, and he hides his face in his palms, but he still sees Sam’s body in front of him, his worst nightmare and the Mark’s greatest wish. If it’s a prophecy, Dean really needs to go.

this week's word is...

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

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From a Wincest WIP:

“You been wanting to jump Cass’s bones since the moment you saw him.” Dean can’t suppress a snort. The very idea. “Sam, that’s insane.” He almost forgets to be angry, trying to decide whether he’s more amused or disgusted by Sam’s accusation.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

Dean drops one of Sam’s hands and reaches out to tuck a strand of Sam’s hair behind his ear. “Come home, Sammy.” Sam wouldn’t accept an order, but it’s nothing like that. It’s a promise, a confession, a resolution. The tangle of their lives, compressed into three words.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

Debbie licks her lips, slow and forthright, and time around Dean disintegrates into snapshots. One, Debbie’s nails scratch at the stubble on the side of his jaw. Two, her gin-tinged breath tickles his skin. Three, her mouth presses against his, and her lipstick tastes like wax. Four, his eyes meet Sam’s over Debbie’s shoulder. Five—what?

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

When Sam’s lips touch his, there’s no electricity jolting all his nerve endings, no wave of heat rushing through him, no blinding white light exploding in his head. There’s a quiet warmth, and a feeling of being exactly in the right place at the right time.

this week's word is...

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Chapters: 4/4 Words: 23,718 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Pre-Stanford Era (Supernatural), Season/Series 13, Season/Series 14, Season/Series 15, Series Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On (Supernatural), Canonical Character Death, Afterlife, Heaven, Canon Compliant, Pining Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, First Kiss, First Time, Explicit Sexual Content, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Heaven sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, Versatile Dean Winchester, Versatile Sam Winchester, I’m not saying that it’s a songfic, but I’m not saying that it’s not a songfic either Series: Part 22 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

It’s 2002 and Dean’s injured and that’s the perfect pretext for Sam to kiss his brother.

It’s 2018 and Sam dies again and that’s the perfect pretext for Sam to fuck his brother.

It’s 2025 and Sam would kill for the perfect pretext to stop fighting and follow his brother.

He doesn’t.

He waits.

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From a Wincest WIP:

Dean grips the steering wheel tight and presses his lips together, shutting down every possible conversation starter that pops up in his head. Three thick hours later, his mouth flies open without any input from his brain. “I didn’t fuck Cass,” he says, and is instantly furious with himself.

this week's word is...

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

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From a Wincest WIP:

“Dean.” Sam catches him by the elbow, which isn’t that unusual, but under the circumstances, makes Dean whirl toward Sam. The Mark screeches, ordering Dean to shake Sam off, clock him, show him that nothing has been forgiven. Dean drags his mind back to the case, but the effort it takes is approaching insurmountable.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

By the time they get back to the Falls, the sun is starting to dip toward the horizon, and they leave the car in the hotel parking lot, setting out to the Niagara Park on foot. Sam babbles about the occult books he’d got at the bookshop, how he’s sure he’ll find something there that’ll help them. Dean tunes most of the words out, just drifting to the sound of his brother’s voice. He’s gonna miss it so much, if he retains the capacity to miss anything.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

The first sign is when Dean doesn’t raise his hand to pet Sam’s hair. He doesn’t move at all. Maybe it’s just shock, or guilt again, or something else, something that is not the end. “Can I stay?” Sam asks, timid, shaky. Dean stares at the ceiling and he doesn’t touch Sam.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

Sam leans forward, hiding his face in Dean’s lap. There’s nothing erotic about it, just a stilted plea for comfort, for a promise that no one would ever be able to keep, except maybe Dean, selfless, genius Dean who is always there for Sam, will always be. And if he won’t, then what’s even the point?

The first weekly word for 2025 is...

✨ PROMISE ✨

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

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2024 in review

a personal post, for a change.

how do I even sum up this year?

on Feb 15, I finished SPN season 1 and immediately started reading and writing Wincest.

everything spun out of control. I forgot who I was before. I didn’t know who I’d be after.

I should’ve predicted it. arrogantly, I did not.

I was terrified by the sheer force with which the Winchester boys tore down my entire world and rebuilt it in a completely new way. I have raged about it, I have mourned it, I have shut myself off from my old social group to process, and by now I think I have mostly accepted it.

an unexpected side effect was that this insane show about family helped me bond with my own somewhat insane family: Mom watched it alongside with me and loved it and my brother turned out to be a big fan since 2005. now we finally have something to talk about.

some stats:

wrote ~332k words this year, ~248k of which were Wincest. it’s less than last year, but somehow feels much more like I lost my mind.

read ~2.5 mln words of fic, 2.3 mln of which were Wincest. not as many as I’d have liked, but my focus was all over the place.

according to my Wincest fic projects tracker, I’m finishing this year with:

21 fics posted

1 in editing

3 in progress

67 in planning

as you can see, I’m drowning in Wincest, and the only thing I can do about it is learn to breathe underwater.

I’m grateful to my new Wincest friends for accepting me and making me feel welcome. I’m grateful to my old Kylux friends for still being there for me and supporting my bout of madness.

I'm sorry for not interacting much here on tumblr. I still can't figure out how this website works, but I'm grateful for every little interaction.

Happy New Year everyone and may it be nice to us. 💛

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From a Wincest WIP:

Sam meets his brother’s thrusts, his body feeling light and full all at once. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like, having Dean inside him, his energy and his love and his relentless attention. It’s truly a gift, to be the center around which Dean revolves, and Sam’s humbled as much as he is delighted.

This week’s word is…

✨ GIFT ✨

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 15, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), Sibling Incest, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Knotting, Claiming Bites, Alpha Sam Winchester, Omega Dean Winchester, Omega Dean Winchester/Alpha Sam Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester/Top Sam Winchester, Christmas, Curtain Fic, Fluff, Sexual Tension, Sam Winchester Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Sam Winchester, Getting Together, First Kiss, First Time, Explicit Sexual Content, Dry Humping, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, the boys are happy and growing happier that’s it that’s the fic Series: Part 21 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

Twenty-five days of an adventure toward finally, happiness, or the advent calendar of Sam and Dean.

Set after S15E19 Inherit the Earth.

(written for @intotheomegaverse)