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From a Wincest WIP:

“Dean.” Sam catches him by the elbow, which isn’t that unusual, but under the circumstances, makes Dean whirl toward Sam. The Mark screeches, ordering Dean to shake Sam off, clock him, show him that nothing has been forgiven. Dean drags his mind back to the case, but the effort it takes is approaching insurmountable.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

By the time they get back to the Falls, the sun is starting to dip toward the horizon, and they leave the car in the hotel parking lot, setting out to the Niagara Park on foot. Sam babbles about the occult books he’d got at the bookshop, how he’s sure he’ll find something there that’ll help them. Dean tunes most of the words out, just drifting to the sound of his brother’s voice. He’s gonna miss it so much, if he retains the capacity to miss anything.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

The first sign is when Dean doesn’t raise his hand to pet Sam’s hair. He doesn’t move at all. Maybe it’s just shock, or guilt again, or something else, something that is not the end. “Can I stay?” Sam asks, timid, shaky. Dean stares at the ceiling and he doesn’t touch Sam.

this week's word is...

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From a Wincest WIP:

Sam leans forward, hiding his face in Dean’s lap. There’s nothing erotic about it, just a stilted plea for comfort, for a promise that no one would ever be able to keep, except maybe Dean, selfless, genius Dean who is always there for Sam, will always be. And if he won’t, then what’s even the point?

The first weekly word for 2025 is...

✨ PROMISE ✨

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2024 in review

a personal post, for a change.

how do I even sum up this year?

on Feb 15, I finished SPN season 1 and immediately started reading and writing Wincest.

everything spun out of control. I forgot who I was before. I didn’t know who I’d be after.

I should’ve predicted it. arrogantly, I did not.

I was terrified by the sheer force with which the Winchester boys tore down my entire world and rebuilt it in a completely new way. I have raged about it, I have mourned it, I have shut myself off from my old social group to process, and by now I think I have mostly accepted it.

an unexpected side effect was that this insane show about family helped me bond with my own somewhat insane family: Mom watched it alongside with me and loved it and my brother turned out to be a big fan since 2005. now we finally have something to talk about.

some stats:

wrote ~332k words this year, ~248k of which were Wincest. it’s less than last year, but somehow feels much more like I lost my mind.

read ~2.5 mln words of fic, 2.3 mln of which were Wincest. not as many as I’d have liked, but my focus was all over the place.

according to my Wincest fic projects tracker, I’m finishing this year with:

21 fics posted

1 in editing

3 in progress

67 in planning

as you can see, I’m drowning in Wincest, and the only thing I can do about it is learn to breathe underwater.

I’m grateful to my new Wincest friends for accepting me and making me feel welcome. I’m grateful to my old Kylux friends for still being there for me and supporting my bout of madness.

I'm sorry for not interacting much here on tumblr. I still can't figure out how this website works, but I'm grateful for every little interaction.

Happy New Year everyone and may it be nice to us. 💛

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From a Wincest WIP:

Sam meets his brother’s thrusts, his body feeling light and full all at once. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like, having Dean inside him, his energy and his love and his relentless attention. It’s truly a gift, to be the center around which Dean revolves, and Sam’s humbled as much as he is delighted.

This week’s word is…

✨ GIFT ✨

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 15, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), Sibling Incest, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Knotting, Claiming Bites, Alpha Sam Winchester, Omega Dean Winchester, Omega Dean Winchester/Alpha Sam Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester/Top Sam Winchester, Christmas, Curtain Fic, Fluff, Sexual Tension, Sam Winchester Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Sam Winchester, Getting Together, First Kiss, First Time, Explicit Sexual Content, Dry Humping, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, the boys are happy and growing happier that’s it that’s the fic Series: Part 21 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

Twenty-five days of an adventure toward finally, happiness, or the advent calendar of Sam and Dean.

Set after S15E19 Inherit the Earth.

(written for @intotheomegaverse)

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From a Wincest WIP:

His little brother is looking at him, scared and pleading, and Dean both loves him and hates him, doesn’t really see the difference. He’s here to hug him, break him, save him, kill him. Sam’s here to let him.

This week’s word is…

✨ HUG ✨

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From a Wincest WIP:

When he can’t sleep, he remembers. Dean holding his hand on Sam’s first day of school and promising him it was going to be okay. The way Dean hugged Sam in that abandoned church, begging him to live, telling him it was going to be just fine. Dean’s forehead against Sam’s as he tried to convince Sam he wasn’t leaving.

This week’s word is…

✨ CONVINCE ✨

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From a Wincest WIP:

Dean will look at Sam, eyes lingering for just a second longer than needed to check on him, and Sam will choke on air, his heart will jump, his legs will quiver. He will look at Dean and every glimpse will make his head spin.

This week’s word is…

✨ SECOND ✨

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From a Wincest WIP:

When Sam doesn’t know what’s real or not, how can he ask his brother if that kiss nine years ago was real or not? When Dean doesn’t know what’s him and what’s the curse, how can Sam ask him what he was thinking when he was twelve years younger? When they’re both all fucked-up about having Mom appear in their world, how can Sam ask Dean if his concept of family still includes kissing Sam?

This week’s word is…

✨ FAMILY ✨

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Words: 7,049 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Series Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On (Supernatural), Heaven, Afterlife, Sibling Incest, Reunion, Dean Winchester in Denial, Getting Together, First Kiss, First Time, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, pushing nerd Sam agenda, look Dean just wants to be with his brother forever and I respect that, I just think he needs to figure out in what way exactly Series: Part 20 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

Dean thinks that having Sam in Heaven with him is perfection.

Until Sam flickers and disappears—not for long, but enough to realize they’re still not telling each other everything.

It takes an awkward motel confession, a little bit of denial, and an eye-opening trip to the beach for Dean to find out what perfection really is.

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Words: 12,315 Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 05, Sibling Incest, Mind-Reading Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Has Powers, Suicide mention, the suicide mention is part of the case they’re working, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Frottage, Blow Jobs, when you can read minds and still miss all the clues Series: Part 19 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

The latest demon blood binge leaves Sam with a new unwanted power: he can now read people’s minds.

Dean handles it admirably well—right until Sam catches him unawares and learns a secret that sends him running away, though not for the reason Dean thinks.

You all know what that secret is.

Set in season 5 after episode 14 My Bloody Valentine.

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from a Wincest WIP:

“Don’t panic,” Dean says, his hand instantly going to rest on Sam’s shoulder. “I think you ain’t a proper soul. I think you might be a ghost.”

This week’s word is…

✨ GHOST ✨

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Words: 4,130 Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren Characters: Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Minor Character Death, Not Han Solo Friendly, Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Extremely Fast Burn, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Romantic Grave Digging, Huxloween 2024

Summary:

Major Hux gets lost in the woods. A stranger finds him, changing Hux’s life forever.

For @huxloween prompts Lost & The Woods.

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Words: 15,020 Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 05, Sibling Incest, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Reincarnation, Dreams, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester in Denial, Getting Together, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Anal Sex, Top Sam Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Sam Winchester, Versatile Dean Winchester, Versatile Sam Winchester, The Monster Ships It Series: Part 18 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

People are being savagely punished for things they haven’t done—not in this life, at least.

Dean keeps getting these dreams that feel like memories of the times before he was even born.

The two situations turn out to be more connected than Dean could ever guess, and the way out of both? Well, that’s up to him and Sam and the thing between them Dean pretends so hard not to notice.

Set in nebulous season 5 sometime after episode 5 Fallen Idols.

For The All-Ships Ship Week by @ficwip

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Words: 17,925 Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Season/Series 03, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Sibling Incest, Pining Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Takes Care of Dean Winchester, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Explicit Sexual Content, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Sam Winchester, how to romance your own brother, who is already desperately in love with you Series: Part 17 of Meta's Wincest Fics

Summary:

People are dropping dead as they suffer from what looks like horribly unrequited love. As Hell looms closer and Sam remains as unavailable as ever, Dean thinks he can relate.

It doesn’t help that it’s almost St. Valentine’s Day, and Dean doesn’t want to spend his last love fest on earth in the arms of some sloppy stranger.

Not that he has much choice. Or does he?

Set in season 3 sometime after episode 11 Mystery Spot.