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☆  ⤷  📱  𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚊

manon: that owl IS terrifiant. why is he so aggressive?? i may be one of the only ones who does feel badly when they say he's sad i missed a lesson

manon: i thought they did! i couldn't find it but perhaps i was looking in the wrong place...do you know any russian?

nora: duolingo's whole marketing thing is practice or the owl will shame and threaten you until you do

nora: i'd like to say it works but my constant level 1 of spanish after begs to differ. don't they say it's super hard to learn a language after childhood anyway?

nora: russian? yeah no i don't have the patience for learning a new alphabet. the english one was hard enough for my little dyslexic ass. i only know one person who does. some guy in my statistics class but he's weird af and i'm too good of a person to send you down that path

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☆  ⤷  📱  𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗

manon: do you suppose it's too late to try and learn russian now?

manon: i'm very worried i'm going to get so lost

nora: not unless you can speedrun duolingo

nora: but i think that much exposure to the duolingo owl wouldn't be good for you

nora: he gives off a very threatening energy

nora: anyway, i think iphones have a translation feature

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exhalcdvibes·:

“ you - ” he started pointing a finger at them, “ come with me. i need company and you’ll do. ” @interchangestarts·

“what’s in it for me?” eyebrows perking slightly in response to the question, the rest of her face remained expressionless. still, she eyed him with a certain curiosity, sizing him up. toying with the idea of taking the bait. “i’m pretty fuckin’ hungover.”

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NORA CALHOUN has been accepted to participate ! they are a 22 year old all the way from MONTANA, USA . SHE is currently studying SOCIOLOGY at the interchange.

nora calhoun

twenty-two ; stinging raw wound of a woman ; nihilist in a lacrosse uniform ; daughter to an absentee gambler ; burnt-out ex-athlete ; former golden girl

stats.

FULL  NAME  :  nora rosemary calhoun

AGE  :  twenty-two

BIRTHDAY :  november 16

ZODIAC  :  scorpio

BIRTH PLACE  :  montana  ,  usa

GENDER :  cis woman

PRONOUNS :  she / her but fine with they / them

ORIENTATION  :  bisexual

HEIGHT :  5′7

TRAITS : laid-back, good-humored, cynical, irreverent, apathetic, dogmatic, bold, competitive, directionless

AESTHETIC(S)  :  growing up too fast, weeds overcoming an otherwise manicured lawn, waking up from sleep in the position of clutching an imaginary teddy bear that hasn’t existed since your childhood, the familiar yet foreign feeling of throwing on your old high school sweatshirt years after you’ve graduated, cigarettes on your birthday cake instead of candles, a carelessness that makes some uneasy, glitter mixed with dirt on the floor after a party

MAJOR  :  sociology

MINOR  :  women’s studies

about

nora is from montana. her family started off happy but [TW: gambling, addiction] her dad had a gambling problem. turns out he was a frequent at the local casinos and underground betting. he left for vegas and nora has felt his absence ever since [end tw]

her mom drank a lot after her dad left. she worked odd-jobs but still lost the house. they were in a trailer park for a large part of nora’s early years. the other kids knew which made school hell.

as a kid, nora had a lot of...anger ? she didn’t really know how to express herself with words so she used her fists instead. the school psychologist suggested sports as an outlet for her, so it was soccer then lacrosse

her mom remarried eventually, but she married a creep. [TW: implied csa, grooming] without going into detail, he made nora feel uncomfortable in a way she couldn’t describe at the time. it caused her to grow up faster than other girls her age [end tw]

she was popular but she’s the girl who peaked in high school. nora will admit this to you in a joking manner. but if you really listen, you can hear the bitterness in her voice. a knee injury put her out of the running for a coveted sports college scholarship. luckily her grades weren’t trash so she’s still able to attend college without one

the liminality of suburbia was her backdrop growing up. cruising down neighborhood streets at 1 am, drunk after a party. not wanting to go home. finding god at the bottom of the public swimming pool after dropping acid, jumping the fence. she still has that aimless energy about her.

she drinks. she likes to have fun. she’s sarcastic and cynical, yet charismatic. she was popular and played a lot of social chess in high school. it taught her some things. she’s generally laid back but also directionless. nora can lean towards apathetic when placed in situations she doesn’t give a shit about. but she’s dogmatic about other things and still has that temper she had as a little girl. she’s not afraid to call people out or speak her mind. she’s a ride or die friend. occasionally the mom friend. she grew up taking care of her own mom. but more often than not she’s the one egging you on to do something reckless. “just one more shot” “why not stay out a little longer?” etc. etc. until you’re wasted in some dive bar belting out karaoke in a foreign language at 3 am. however she’s also that friend who will give you tough love advice. help key your ex’s car. make sure you get home safe after a wild night.

[TW: drugs] nora is a big pothead. wasn’t in high school because of sports. it made her sluggish. now she regularly converts old plastic bottles into bongs. she’s also a sloppy drunk. she’ll take anything you give her. she developed a liking for coke in high school and now does it sporadically if she can find it. she definitely shows up for class in yesterday’s outfit and smudged eyeliner [end tw]

she doesn’t really know who she is anymore ?? she went from smol feral angry child to Star Athlete and Prom Queen ™ to ??? whatever she is now. stoner who fucks around too much ? yeah, that. she’s going thru a bit of an identity crisis i shan’t lie to you

headcanons

she’s bisexual. nora hates men. it’s because of her dad and stepdad tbh. girl has daddy issues but she loathes that phrase. she’s also a women’s studies minor and it just makes her dislike men even more lol. she has sex/flings with men when she’s craving Validation™ but she definitely has past relationships with men where she’s had real feelings. probably refused to admit those feelings.

nora doesn’t laugh. she scoffs. she chuckles. she snickers. but you’ll never see her outright crack up

she has really fond memories of mcdonald’s. her father used to do scratch-off lottery tickets as nora sat on his lap. when he won chump change he’d take her to mcdonald’s to get a kid’s meal. this ritual, of course, dwindled and died once her father’s gambling got out of control. but now nora often chooses mcdonald’s, even if there were a michelin star restaurant handing out free hors d'oeuvres down the street. she’s made it a goal to try all the regional menu items as she travels

will never turn down a dare. she’s got a competitive nature from sports that never went away.  

oddly enough she’s sentimental

pretends things don’t bother her but they do

pierced her own ear as a child after watching the parent trap. her mom had promised to take her to get it done but kept getting too drunk to drive her to claire’s. so nora took it into her own hands. i say ear because she did the first one on pure adrenaline alone but then started crying and her mom found her before she could do the second.

collects vintage t-shirts

and hats

her personal style is a lot of thrifted and depop stuff. she’s a sneakerhead. rarely wears anything else on her feet. when she does, she likes cowboy boots. it’s that montana rancher gal in her. even though she’s never been near a horse in her life

doesn’t believe in astrology. *cue collective booing*. but she doesn’t shit on people who do and she’ll humor them by letting them read her horoscope.

also doesn’t wear makeup. wore it once as a kid to hopefully get the other kids to stop bullying her before she got into sports and made friends. they absolutely roasted her when she showed up in electric blue eye shadow and bright rouged cheeks. it really turned her off to makeup and for a while she had a lot of internal misogyny to unpack surrounding “girly girls” and judging women who wear makeup, revealing clothes, etc. now she’s very much “do whatever makes you happy” and  dislikes those who look down on women for any reason. plus she’s pretty gay so she loves when girls are all dolled up.

her vibe is definitely more camila morrone in her films mickey and the bear or never goin’ back. a much rougher look than camila morrone the model.

biography

TW: gambling, addiction, alcoholism, grooming, csa, vomit mention

the only of child of christy and james calhoun. he’s a construction worker, she's a full-time mom. they call a suburban town in montana home. and though they don’t have much, they’re at least middle class. the calhoun family is a happy family.

nora is a colicky baby. frequent ear infections. refuses breastfeeding and formula alike. sleeps for 2 hours, screams for 6. her mom jokes about what a difficult baby she received from god. she wonders why nora never smiles. it’s as if somehow, even then, nora knew what was to come.

from the outside looking in, all is well. fourth of july barbecues ; setting up the above-ground swimming pool every summer like a ritual ; birthday parties and holiday greeting cards. the calhoun family is a happy family.

but there’s more lurking beneath the surface. arguments in hushed voices amplified into screaming matches ; broken dishes. daddy bets the money for christmas presents on black, lets it ride. mommy spends her evenings with a wine bottle in hand. the calhoun family is a happy family

nora’s father begins to chase luck wherever it takes him. he soon finds he prefers the omnipresent neon lights of vegas to the monoculture of the montana prairies. it makes nora sick, how he leaves. nothing but a father-sized absence at the dinner table. collect calls from correctional facilities when his gambling gets him into trouble. slivers of hope followed by broken promises. year after year until nora grows into a disillusioned ‘difficult’ child. he’s still your dad, the school psychologist tells her one day during a session. nora wishes on every shooting star for a different dad.

mom drinks. mom can’t pay rent. mom works odd jobs but still loses the house. she moves the family into a dilapidated trailer park. nora spends her time kicking empty bud light cans instead of soccer balls ; putting blankets on her passed out mother so she doesn’t get cold as she slumbers on the couch.

school isn’t any easier for nora. her reputed poverty is reflected in her tattered overalls and mud-caked sneakers, a size and a half too big. as a child she struggles to express herself. stares and glances are favored over language until the ripe age of five. she’s labeled “nonverbal” by teachers and psychologists alike

when she does open up, she speaks very slow, waiting for her words to grow. and then there’s no stopping her. she becomes a loud girl. a vicious girl. a violent girl. a bully in the third grade nearly swallows his loose tooth after nora’s right hook connects with his condescending grin. but this isn’t the last time someone calls her a mean name. and the more insults are hurled in her direction, the more her tiny hands are balled into fists. the school counselor suggests sports as an outlet.

nora starts soccer. it’s like some feral instinct calling to her to run. she excels, becomes team captain. by middle school she’s invited to the parties where the girls and boys play spin the bottle and get drunk off wine coolers. she’s actually popular. it doesn’t hurt that her mom’s newly remarried ; gotten them out of the trailer park and back into suburban bliss. but mom’s new husband makes nora feel uncomfortable in ways she cannot describe. his feet mark up floors ; his presence lingers in the air ; his glances always last a little too long. nora tries to avoid being home as much as possible. at night she locks her door.

nora loses her virginity at a party. not because she necessarily wants to. but it’s what everyone else is doing, right ? as her friends ripen themselves with tales of virginities lost, nora can’t stop staring at those same friends with curiosity, thinking thoughts deemed “sinful” by the priests from before nora renounced religion and stopped attending sunday mass. she ignores those feelings, purses boys instead. the first time she does it, any hope for romance is crushed when she feels his toothfully truthful kiss ; a business kiss. isn’t that all sex is, anyway ? a transaction ? nora feels like it sometimes. the boys like nora. they quickly learn that they don’t need to whisper sweet nothings in her ear ; don’t need to call her their baby darling sweetie-pie to find their way into her bedroom. or theirs. or a coat closet.

nora learns about getting fucked up. she graduates from smirnoff ices to straight tequila. drugs enter the picture junior year. if only it were as easy as “just say no”. soon she’s walking through town at 2 am. while she’s drunk. while she’s high. while she’s both. after a party. after a lacrosse game. after mom’s passed out on the couch and her stepdad’s been drinking again. then up at 6 am for practice with a pounding hangover ; running sprints before vomiting up her hollow stomach behind the bleachers. wipes her mouth on the back of her hand, heads to the showers. it’s routine.

a knee injury kills her dreams of a college scholarship. no d1 school wants a girl with a torn ligament. nora begins to spiral without the structure and discipline sports provided. now she’s willing to do anything, wanting to numb the feeling of disappointment tightening in her ribcage. she’s wasted at graduation.

luckily nora finds her way to college. she studies sociology, can’t think of anything else. she gets the opportunity to travel the world. but she’s still hungry. ravenous even. she’s not sure what exactly for. people used to say she’d crash and burn out ; never make anything of herself. guess in a way, they were right. weren’t they?

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What kind of boys do you like

i don’t actually like boys i’m just attracted to them

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EUPHORIA Season 1 | Episode 1

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Peach pits are poisonous. This is not a mistake. Girlhood is growing fruit around cyanide. It will never be yours for the swallowing.

Brenna Twohy, from Swallowtail  (via buttonpoetry)

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adam.mendonca

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actually, growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i’ve been eighteen for years. fifteen year olds seem so young. wasn’t i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still twelve. i’m closer to thirty then to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can’t talk to my mom. i want to sit in her lap forever. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do.

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Camila Morrone in Never Goin’ Back (2018)

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late night at the gas station

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me defending my drunk friends