nazlixelmas

[nazlixelmas]

"Look at you, buttering me up like I'm your own personal tub of popcorn or something." She was very aware her statement sounded ridiculous but truly she was giddy. She was with the man she loved, enjoying a seemingly normal evening and that was enough for her. "That's true though." she grinned at him when he realized she had gotten it exactly right. "I think Marisol is perfect for him, woman is feisty in the best ways. She can keep him on his toes, don't you think?"

She didn't miss the way his jaw clenched, she loved knowing the effect she had on him. It was as intoxicating as he was to her. "I mean...I'm never opposed to that, maybe in a bit?" she said with a smirk before giving him a casual wink as she led him into the tent. "Oh come on Des, you know you'll be a natural. Light as a feather you are," she chuckled quietly before contemplating his question. "Actually yes...popcorn and lemonade for now and then we can get funnel cakes after the show, sound good?"

“I don’t blame him, you always give great advice.” complimented Desmond with a grin. He’s a man who strictly gave credit, where credit was due and honestly, Nate made the better choice in confiding in his girlfriend. “He’s getting the best of both worlds babe, you’re providing him genuine advice from the female gaze. As for me, I’m simply here to build his confidence…” However, his girlfriend was quick to humble him as she pointed out what he had already said, “Damn, clocking me on date night?...You love it though, but you’re right…He needs that balance to stay grounded. He’s a great guy and I only want what’s best for him.” 

When she leaned in closer, Desmond knew that look on her face as he arched a brow, intrigued by her mischievous actions. Clenching his jaw slightly, he then scoffed and remained silent as he squeezed her hand back, matching the same firmness. “...You’re asking for it.” he countered in a cool, calm and collected tone. “In fact, we might have to cut this short and take it back to my place if you keep this up.” This time he broke out into a smile and laughed as he headed inside the tent for the main attraction. “Naz, baby, ain't no way I'm going up there. In fact my ass is sat on that seat…Now, did you want any snacks while we're at it?"

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli chuckled softly, her eyes warm as she watched Nate unravel himself with such honest awkwardness. “You know, it’s kind of refreshing to hear you admit to being a blushing mess,” she said, her voice gentler now. “Most people hide that side, like it’s a weakness or something to be ashamed of. But it’s real, and it means you’re alive to the possibility of something genuine.” She paused, thinking about her own moments of vulnerability and how rare it felt to just let down the walls. “Marisol sounds like someone who doesn’t just skim the surface. She sounds fierce, unafraid to be herself, and that kind of honesty... it’s scary and magnetic at the same time. No wonder you’re tangled up in her.” Nazli’s gaze softened as she added, “It’s funny—sometimes the people who shake us up the most are the ones who see all our cracks and still decide to stay. That’s rare, too.” She looked away for a moment, caught in her own thoughts before meeting Nate’s eyes again. “And about your ‘pathetic’ self? I think what you’re really showing is courage—the kind it takes to admit you’re falling for someone who might just knock you off balance. That’s not pathetic. That’s brave.”

Nate let out a soft groan, as if she’d just diagnosed him with a terminal case of being a loser. "Yeah, well, I used to flirt. I was good at it once," he said, lying. He always claimed he was too busy for romance, that he had obligations.  “Now I can’t hide the blushing and the way I make too much eye contact when someone hot laughs at my joke.” He popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth and sighed like a man burdened by too many feelings and not enough game.

“Okay, okay—her,” he said, eyes flicking upward as he thought of the best way to describe his crush. “Marisol. She’s… she’s kind of electric? You know? Loud in the way that makes you want to listen, and funny in a way that knocks the wind out of you. She’s not nice exactly, but she’s… sharp! Honest. She sees through people. And then sticks around anyway.” A pause. “Also, unfairly attractive. Just. Like. Unreasonably so.” He side-eyed Nazli, already anticipating the mocking. “You want more poetry, or is that enough to diagnose my affliction?”

Then, he quickly added, “And don’t get any ideas. I’m not buying you a live snake or a glitter face tattoo unless it comes with a receipt and plausible deniability. One bribe at a time.” He grinned. “But I’ll still do it. Because I am, as previously stated, pathetic.”

[nazlixelmas]

She laughed softly, a warmth spreading through her chest at Hayat’s teasing and genuine curiosity. “Soft isn’t such a bad thing, is it? I think it’s something I’m still learning to let myself be,” she admitted, the words feeling honest and a little vulnerable. “As for Desmond... yeah, he just kept showing up, steady and sure, even when I wasn’t ready to stop waiting for him to leave. It’s not always easy for me to let someone in, but with him, it feels like I’m allowed to just be. No games, no proving myself every day. Just... accepted.” She glanced over at Hayat, a smile tugging at her lips. “We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now — it’s still new, but it’s real. And for the first time in a long time, I’m not scared of where it might go.” Nazli’s tone grew softer, more introspective. “I guess what’s different is that I don’t feel like I have to carry everything alone anymore. It’s a relief, but it also makes me wonder if I’m ready to fully trust that feeling.” She shook her head with a laugh. “So yeah, I’ve got plenty of answers for your twenty questions — and maybe some doubts, too. But if you want to know everything, I’m ready to spill.”

"I promise not to make fun of you for being soft," Hayat said, grinning as she settled back into her chair. "But I'm definitely going to need way more details because this sounds incredible." She took another sip of her drink, already loving how Nazli's face lit up when she talked about this guy. A bodyguard who was stoic but soft and knew exactly when to show up without being pushy? Yeah, that sounded like exactly what her cousin needed after everything she'd been through. "So he just kept appearing until you stopped waiting for him to leave, that's actually perfect timing on his part," she continued, nudging Nazli back with her foot. The part about not having to earn his love really hit her because wasn't that what everyone wanted? Someone who just let you exist without having to constantly prove you deserved their attention. "And you're my closest thing to home too, which is why I need to know everything about this relationship that's making you glow like that," she said with a laugh. "Start with how long you've been seeing each other properly because I have about twenty more questions lined up after that."

[nazlixelmas]

She took a slow, steady breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle between them. She looked at Sahana, really looked—past the edge of defensiveness and the quick words, to the friend she’d known for years. “Maybe I got defensive because sometimes it feels like I’m on the outside, like I’m close but not quite in the circle,” she said softly, her voice carrying a hint of vulnerability she rarely let show. “I know Dante saved you when you needed him most, and I’m not trying to compete with that. I just want you to know that I’m here, too—always. Even if it looks different, even if it’s not the same kind of history or the same kind of bond. That doesn’t make it any less real.” Her smile was small, almost like a quiet reassurance—for both of them. “But today, I don’t want us to get lost in all the complicated stuff, all the unspoken comparisons or what-ifs. Let’s just be us—the messy, chaotic, imperfect best friends who know each other better than anyone else. Let’s leave all the heavy behind and focus on what we have right now.” Her fingers found Sahana’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Because honestly? Who else would put up with our kind of crazy like we do? We’re a force, a beautiful mess, and that’s enough. For today, at least, let’s just be that.”

"Don't be offended, you know what I was saying," Sahana said, her voice taking on that familiar edge when people challenged her. "I wasn't trying to diminish what we have, okay? I was just being honest about how I categorize people in my life." Seriously, why was everyone so sensitive about everything lately? She wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings, she was just explaining that Dante took her in when she had nowhere else to go, so yeah, that created a certain kind of bond. But watching her best friend's face, seeing that wounded look she was trying to hide behind her controlled expression, made her stomach twist in a way that felt uncomfortably familiar. This was exactly what happened when she tried to explain herself—somehow her words always came out wrong, like she was speaking a different language than everyone else. "Look, you're important to me, you know that. I just meant that Dante literally saved my life when I was thirteen, so that creates a different dynamic." The whole thing was making her feel defensive and guilty at the same time, which was honestly exhausting because she'd been dealing with enough guilt lately without adding more to the pile. "Can we please just go get our massages now? I really don't want to turn this into some big emotional thing."

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli’s expression softened as Cynthia spoke, a flicker of something unspoken passing through her eyes—gratitude, maybe, or the quiet ache that came with history. She rested her palms gently on the counter, fingers splayed over the velvet where the bracelet once lay, and let Cynthia’s words settle in the space between them. “You saying that…” she began, voice low, thoughtful, “it means more than you probably realize. Trust hasn’t always come easy for either of us, but hearing you say you trust me with your feelings? That matters, Cyn. Especially coming from you.” Her smile was small but sincere. “And I don’t think we’re ever really undeserving of love. Sometimes we’re just… not ready to recognize the kind we actually need. I’m glad Ezra didn’t flinch. That he stayed. You deserve that kind of love without having to armour up first.”

She reached out, brushing one of the business cards with a fingertip and lifting an amused brow. “Whoa, a Google review and promotional materials? You’re spoiling me.” A beat passed before she spoke again. “I’ll need about a week, maybe less, and I’ll text you as soon as it’s ready. Whether it’s you or your assistant, you know the Atelier’s doors are open.” But when the conversation shifted—when Cynthia mentioned Desmond—Nazli paused for a second, the teasing light in her eyes replaced by something quieter. Warmer. Maybe even a little unsure, like someone still getting used to being cared for like that. “You knew, huh?” she asked with a gentle huff, not truly surprised. “Of course you did.” Her gaze dropped for a moment before she looked back up, a wistful honesty creeping in. “It’s different with him. Like...he sees every sharp edge I’ve tried to sand down and still stays. No conditions. No expectations. Just this quiet kind of steady that still catches me off guard.”

She held Cynthia’s gaze then, her voice softer. “I’ll try to cherish it the way you said. But if I’m being honest, some days it’s hard to believe I have something good and not brace for it to disappear. Still, I’m learning. He makes me want to learn.” With a half-laugh, she added, “And as for you, don’t try your best—just behave, at least until this bracelet’s finished.” Her grin softened again, grounding them back into the moment. “I’m grateful you’re still in my life too, Cyn. Despite everything. Whatever we were or weren’t… you’ve always been someone I’ve wanted good things for. So thank you—for the trust, the chaos, the honesty. And for still seeing me.”

Nazli made this whole process seamless and easy, especially to someone like Cynthia who wasn’t big on feelings, except for the few people in her life that mattered most. With Naz assisting through the choices and decisions of this gift, it definitely helped her navigate on what she wanted for Ezra and its meaning behind it. “Your words mean a lot.” replied Cynthia as she locked eyes on Nazli. So many years have passed between them and yet, she did not have any bad blood against her as she genuinely cherished her opinion and valued her as a person overall. “I trust you with my feelings.” she said at first. “You’re spot on about it by the way. I didn’t think I would feel this type of love where it’s as real as it gets. In fact, I thought I didn’t deserve it. However, he changed all that…” Truthfully, it happened seamlessly, she was simply herself and Ezra still stayed. Despite what had happened, he was still watching over her and that in itself spoke volumes that he never stopped caring even if he did try. 

“Love it! I know you won’t disappoint Naz. In fact, I’ve already drafted my lovely google review. So how long will it take for it to complete? I don’t mind having my assistant pick it up or I’ll drop by again on a scheduled date.” She then took a couple of her business cards and planned on distributing them to some of her clients. The other thing she had ready was not only the payment, but a generous tip for all the help and last minute requests that she’d been doing for her. “You know, that’s one hell of a story when you put it that way. It’s also a nice reminder…This all has genuine meaning and I’m expressing it in beautiful pieces of jewelry—an Elmas Atelier exclusive.” 

On the topic of a specific bodyguard, Cynthia flashed Nazli a knowing look as if it was pretty obvious to those within their specific circle. “I keep tabs on you to make sure you’re safe, but lately I feel like I don’t need to do that with him in the picture.” After learning the good that Desmond brought to her ex’s heart, a genuine smile appeared on her lips as she was happy that she had someone who could do what she couldn’t have done. “Embrace it, cherish it, you honestly deserve it Nazli. I’m glad you two have each other…” Rolling her eyes, she then laughed off the warning and shrugged innocently, “I’ll try my best.” she replied as if it was a compromise. “You’re right. Trusting in fate got us to where we needed to be and I'm beyond content that it worked out for us. I'm also grateful that you're still in my life you know? I appreciate you and I just really want the best for you."

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli laughed softly, the sound warm and light as Desmond pulled her along. “Okay, first of all,” she said, nudging him playfully with her shoulder as they neared the acrobat tent, “he came to me, alright? I wasn’t out here giving a masterclass on how to ask someone out. But it's also super cute how anxious he is about it.” Her grin spread wider, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Somebody’s gotta balance out your… overwhelming confidence. Someone’s got to keep you humble.” She glanced up at him with that teasing glint that always made her feel incredibly lucky that he was the one who was here with her right now.

“And second,” she added, voice dipping low and laced with playful challenge, “if you’re threatening me with a ‘don’t test me,’ you better be prepared to back it up with a good time.” She leaned in closer, letting her breath brush his ear. “Because I don’t scare easy—and you know how much I love seeing you squirm when I push your buttons.” Nazli gave his hand a firm squeeze, then tilted her head toward the tent with a sly smile. “Now come on, Mr. Caine, let’s see what kind of trouble you’ve signed me up for. And fair warning—if they start pulling people from the crowd, you’re first in line. No backing out.” She laughed again, eyes sparkling as she pulled him forward, ready for whatever the night had in store.

When they kissed, Desmond wrapped an arm around her as he pulled her close, not giving a fuck about who's around them. Every moment he had Nazli was one that he doesn't take for granted. Once they pulled away, Des' smile never left as they held hands and haeaded into the venue. "That guy, don't tell me you were giving him advice too on how to ask someone out. I swear it amazes me how he lacks self awareness." He then observed his girlfriend and noticed her already grinning when she spoke. It could only mean one thing...And as soon as she brought up their options, he looked around for the signs and dragged her towards the acrobats performance tent. "You're a comedian." he said at first with a laugh. "Don't test me Elmas...Or else."

[nazlixelmas]

An amused smirk was on her lips as the bag of popcorn was being presented to her. She was about to take it without saying anything before chuckling at his words. "Intel huh? I'm amused." She reached over and grabbed a piece before waiting for him to continue. She had been about to ask if he was serious but of course Nate knew that as well which is why he stopped her before she could. "You forgot to flirt? That's...sad." Naz commented before they continued walking, her brow raising at his mention of her being a source. "Well first, tell me about her and then I'll tell you what to start with. All girls are different Nathaniel, we don't all fall for the same things." She commented before giving him a bright smile. "I do enjoy bribery and begging but for now we'll go with the bribe and then I'll have you buy me something else for my secrets."

Closed Starter for Nazli Elmas ( @nazlixelmas )

Location: Circus

He rustled the bag of kettle popcorn in his hand like a bribe wrapped in foil and bad intentions. Nathaniel scanned the crowd at the Devil’s Junction circus grounds, ducking under a low-slung string of lights as he caught sight of Nazli. "Hey, Naz, Nazli," he called. "I come bearing snacks!" He held up the bag like an offering at an altar. “I need intel. On the female gaze.” He paused. “And before you say anything, yes, I’m serious, and no, I haven’t asked her out, because I’m fairly certain I forgot how to flirt sometime around 2017.” He fell into step beside her. “So I figured I’d go to the source. Uh, a source. What do I do? Flowers? Sarcasm? A legally binding confession of undying affection disguised as a casual compliment?” Another pause. “…Do girls still like that?” He shook the bag for emphasis as he sheepishly asked her. “Popcorn for your secrets. I’m not above bribery. Or begging.”

[nazlixelmas]

"Hi handsome," she greeted as soon as she felt those familiar arms snake around her and that kiss to her cheek. She turned around quickly enough and kissed him properly, not at all caring who was watching. She probably should've cared since as soon as they parted, she caught sight of a mother covering her chid's eyes. Was it really that risqué? Nazli shook her head at this question before wrapping her hand in his as they began walking. "No--I got here a little bit ago, hung out with Nate for awhile and then came to meet you." She could see the look on his face and couldn't resist teasing him. "I mean--there's so much Des, we could go see the acrobats or even the...clowns?" She waited with a reserved grin on her face, needing to see his reaction to her statement.

❛ ☾ ◟━ LOCATION: cedar terrance - spectacular circus of curiosities

❛ ☾ ◟━ TIME: evening

❛ ☾ ◟━ STATUS: closed for @nazlixelmas

After spending some boys time with Nathaniel, he found himself back to the circus for date night with Nazli. Despite him not being a big fan of this scene, let alone clowns, he was willing to set aside his pride and fear for his girlfriend. A worthy sacrifice to spend as much time with her. Seeing her by the entrance, he approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Evening beautiful." he greeted with a cheeky smile. "Hopefully you weren't waiting too long? Was there anything in particular you wanted to see or try out?" He was crossing his fingers at this point in hopes that she wouldn't choose the clowns.

[nazlixelmas]

She didn’t respond at first—not in words, anyway. Her gaze lingered on Desmond like she was memorizing something—his jawline etched in quiet tension, the curve of his mouth when he smiled just for her, the vulnerability he never let the world see but gave to her like a sacred offering. She watched him mouth the words olive juice and something in her chest stuttered, a soft ache of disbelief that this was real. That he was real. Because part of her—some old, rusted part still clinging to grief and old narratives—had convinced herself for a long time that love like this wasn’t made for people like her. That safety was always temporary. That people who claimed to stay, eventually didn’t. So even now, standing in the kitchen in his arms, her heart warm and her body held, there was still a tiny voice in the back of her head whispering: Be careful. Don’t need too much. Don’t want too loudly. But Desmond made it impossible not to want.

“I used to think that if someone saw the mess—the real, unvarnished, bone-deep mess—they’d leave,” she said softly, her fingers drifting up to rest against his chest, right over his heart. “So I got really good at hiding it. At smiling through it. At making grief look elegant. But you… you didn’t flinch. You didn’t tidy me up or tell me to be strong. You just stayed. You chose to stay." Her voice faltered for a second, caught somewhere between reverence and wonder. “And maybe I don’t know how to let that all the way in yet. Maybe I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. But when you say we’ll find our way back to each other—Des, I believe you. Even if I’m scared sometimes, I believe you.” She leaned into him then, her forehead against his as her voice dropped to a whisper meant for no one but him. “And I love you. So much it makes me feel like I’ve borrowed something from a softer life I didn’t think I was allowed to have.”

Then he lifted her—and she laughed, startled, her arms automatically wrapping around his neck. “God, you really know how to make a perfectly good emotional moment even better,” she teased, but her cheeks were flushed, her eyes full of light. “Dinner’s officially canceled. I’m declaring a state of emotional emergency—only cuddles and kisses allowed from here on out.” Nazli rested her head against his shoulder as he carried her toward the bedroom, her voice quieter now, but no less certain. “I’m all yours too. And I think I finally believe I can be… without fear.”

FIN.

A wave of realization washed over Desmond as he remained silent processing Nazli’s words with admiration and relief. She was able to clear his mind and put things into perspective, a good sign that he’s unlearning his self-destructive mindset. “I guess, I didn’t think of it that way. I’m so used to giving it my all that failure was never an option.” he admitted with a grimace. “But this was a gentle, if not well needed reminder that it’s all a work in progress and that I’ll have my good and bad days, but that doesn’t define me as a person…” Leaning into her touch, he found absolute comfort and warmth in knowing that Nazli chooses him every time. “Thank you.” he sincerely replied. “For everything.” 

Their code word was definitely special as a grin crept onto his lips as he thought of the kids that he played ball with, using it as a play on words for ‘I love you’ when it came to their partners. “It’s perfect,” he agreed. “You know if you say olive juice it mouths off like you're saying 'I love you'.”  He then did it without saying it out loud as the movements of his lips mimicked the expression. “It’s not only a lovely reminder, but it’s a helpful one at that. It’ll help me understand the situation more and learn to take it with grace.” Still keeping her close, Desmond listened and not once did he interrupt Nazli as her worries and words were completely valid in his eyes. As much as he didn’t want to worry her, this was a part of his life that he hadn’t hashed out yet and still continued to carry out like a bad habit. However, the feeling of being the Grudge Box was an understanding for him and him only. Now that he has a girlfriend who he loves to the end of the earth, he knew he had to make adjustments to his current lifestyle. 

“Dully noted.” he confirmed with a firm nod before capturing her lips once more. He didn’t want to create any empty promises that he knew he would break. Instead, he listened and absorbed what he had to do should he choose to escape to his vices. Hearing her admit her love for him made him one of the happiest men in the world. Nothing else mattered in that moment, but themselves and he was going to savour each second of it. “We’ll always find our way back to each other, that I can believe and promise.” He laughed along with her, a mischievous smile crept onto his lips as he lifted her from the ground and began heading to her bedroom, “At this point, dinner can wait. I'm all yours, love."

[nazlixelmas]

She let out a soft laugh, but there was no deflection this time—just that warm, almost shy glow she hadn’t worn in years, not like this. She rested her chin in her palm, eyes glinting as she looked over at Hayat. “Okay, okay, you want the full rundown,” she said, mock-surrendering. “He’s a bodyguard. Like… very stoic, very guarded—but somehow still manages to be the softest person I’ve ever met, just… not loudly.” She paused, her smile softening at the edges. “It started off slow. We’d see each other here and there through work, and I didn’t think much of it at first—but he just… kept showing up. No pressure, no angles. He was just there. Every time I started to pull away, he didn’t chase, but he never disappeared either. It was like he knew I needed room to grieve and space to breathe, but also someone to quietly keep the light on.” She looked down briefly, tracing a fingertip along the rim of her glass. “And I didn’t realize how much I needed that. Someone who saw the mess and didn’t try to clean it up—just sat with me in it. I don’t feel like I’m trying to earn his love. I just… exist in it. That’s a first.”

Then she glanced back up at Hayat, smile pulling a little wider now, teasing. “We’ve been seeing each other properly for a little while now. It’s still new enough that I get butterflies, but settled enough that I know it’s not going to vanish the second life gets hard.” She nudged Hayat gently with her foot across the lounger. “And yes, I will give you more stories, but only if you promise not to make fun of how embarrassingly soft I’ve gotten.” There was a pause, then something quieter. “But it means a lot, you wanting to know. Really. You’re the closest thing I’ve got to home.”

Nazli let out a soft laugh, the kind that came from deep in her chest—part amusement, part relief. “Okay, fine, I was deflecting. But in my defence, you asking me to spill everything feels like karmic payback for every time I pried into your life over bad coffee and midnight texts.” She nudged Hayat again with her foot, more affectionate this time, before curling her fingers around the stem of her glass. “Yeah… he is kind of perfect for me. Not in that storybook way where everything’s easy or predictable—but in the way that he makes space. Like I don’t have to shrink myself or censor the hard parts of my story to make him stay.” Her voice dipped a little as she continued, not sad, just honest. “He’s not afraid of the silence. He doesn’t rush to fill it. And when I told him about Mom and Dad, he didn’t flinch. No platitudes, no awkward shift in the conversation. Just... stayed.”

Her gaze grew distant for a moment, thoughtful. “I think that’s when I knew. It wasn’t just that he showed up—it’s that he kept showing up, without needing me to earn it. And I didn’t realize how much I’d been bracing for someone to walk away, even now. Grief makes everything feel temporary, you know? Like even the good stuff is on borrowed time.” She glanced at her cousin, something soft flickering behind her eyes. “But with him, I don’t feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop anymore. I feel... safe.” Nazli tilted her head, lips curving in a small, wry smile. “And yes, I have more stories. But I'd feel bad hijacking this whole day with that..I want to know more about what's been keeping you busy Hayat, and happy too. Because that's important."

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli stopped walking, just for a second, but it was enough. Enough for the space between them to shift. She looked at Sahana—not angry, exactly, but wounded in that quiet, controlled way she always was when something really mattered. “Like family?” she repeated, the words soft but unmistakably pointed. “That’s what I am to you?” She let out a breath, shaking her head with a dry, humourless laugh. “God, Sahana, I don’t know what else I have to do to prove I’m not some honorary placeholder you keep at arm’s length when it suits you. I’m here. I’ve always been here. Through your storms, through mine, through all the things you never say out loud.” Her arms folded loosely across her chest, as if holding herself steady. "I get that Dante has taken you in, but you were...you were always my sister in everything but blood. I thought you knew that." Her voice grew quieter now, not wanting to make a scene as she continued. “I know I've been away a lot, travelling and such but...I never thought that would change our bond. You’re my family. Not ‘like.’ Not ‘sort of.’ You are it.” Then, quieter—“So when you say things like that, even as a throwaway, it hurts. Because I don’t keep you at a safe distance. I never have.” She looked away, then back, her voice more even now. “But fine. Let’s go get our spines cracked and pretend this didn’t happen. You know me—I’ll be over it in ten minutes, but I’ll remember it forever.”

"Of course, you're like family, and I'm glad you said that because I lose sight of it sometimes when things get hectic," Sahana replied, standing up and dusting off her hands. "A deep tissue massage would be amazing, my shoulders are so tight and tense. I really need someone to get rid of these knots." She already felt better just hearing Nazli say they'd be there for each other, because isn't that the definition of family? Not the kind that came with guilt trips and expectations, but the kind that just existed without conditions. The marriage thing still sat heavy in her stomach though, all those secrets she couldn't share yet about Sterling and everything that came with loving someone from the other side of this war. But maybe today could just be about them, about remembering what it felt like to have someone who understood her chaos without needing explanations. "You're right, thanks for the reminder. I need that." she said, while walking towards the treatment rooms. "Let's go terrorize some poor masseuse with our running commentary and see if we can make her question her career choices while she tries to fix whatever disaster my back has become."

[nazlixelmas]

closed for @blackbcxwarning ( for christian )

Nazli caught Christian just outside the café, her tone steady but carrying a quiet urgency. “Hey, Christian. How--uh how are you?" She knew it must not have been easy with Gavin missing but she couldn't pretend it didn't affect her too. "Have you heard anything from Gavin? I know he's missing and sometimes he does tend to disappear now and then, and so I’ve had Desmond looking into it ever since...I heard and… I’m honestly worried.” She paused, searching his face before continuing. “Gavin’s always been like a big brother to me, and if something’s wrong, I want to be there—to help however I can. If you’ve heard anything, or if there’s something I should know, please let me in.”

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli didn’t look away—not when he questioned himself, not when the fear spilled out between the lines of everything he was trying so hard to say. She stood there, hands still resting gently against his chest, feeling the unsteady rhythm of a heart that carried more weight than anyone deserved. The vulnerability in his voice hit her somewhere deep, not because she doubted him—but because she recognized the ache behind his words. That deep-rooted belief that love had to be conditional. Earned. Withheld until perfection could be guaranteed. She drew in a slow breath, then let it go just as slowly. “Des,” she said quietly, “what if it’s not about breaking the habit all at once?” Her eyes searched his face—not for reassurance, but to give it. “What if it’s about recognizing when it’s trying to take over… and choosing differently in small ways each time? Even if you don’t get it right every time.” Her thumb brushed lightly over the edge of his jaw. “I didn’t fall for the version of you who never messes up. I fell for the man who stays, who listens, who tries even when the voices in his head tell him to run. That’s who I’m choosing.”

The mention of the code word made her smile softly—fond and a little sad, but moved nonetheless. “Yeah. I like that. Something just for us. So when the words won’t come, the truth still can.” She paused, considering, then added, “What about olive? Like peace, like offering… like a reminder that we’re still on the same side even when everything feels like a fight.” She could feel his hand rubbing soft circles into her back, grounding her in return, and it steadied something frayed inside her. But even that wasn’t enough to dissolve the fear she still carried—the one she’d finally named. Her voice was quieter now, not because she was uncertain, but because what she felt ran deeper than volume. “I know why the Grudge Box makes sense to you. I know what it gives you. But Des… I also know it’s not where I want to find your name on someone’s lips one day when I’m not there to pull you out. I don’t need you to walk away from it overnight. But I do need to know you’ll be honest with yourself—about what it’s costing you.” Her fingers tightened just slightly against the fabric of his shirt. “Because I can’t be the only one fighting to keep you whole, especially if you don't realize what losing you would do to me.”

When he kissed her, she melted into it—slow, sure, a hand reaching up to rest against his cheek as if to silently echo everything she hadn’t yet said. When he spoke again, her eyes shimmered—not with uncertainty, but with clarity. “I love you too,” she whispered, forehead pressed gently against his. “And we’re not going to lose each other. Not if we both keep choosing this—even when it’s messy. Even when it’s hard.” She pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him fully. “So when you go quiet… say olive. And when I get controlling and afraid, I’ll say it too. And we’ll find our way back from there.” 

A soft laugh escaped her lips then, unforced and weary but real. “God, after all that… how are we supposed to just eat dinner like we didn’t just hand each other our entire souls?” She shook her head, gently tugging him into her arms again, just holding him close as she softly spoke again. “Forget the food for now. Just stay here with me, like this. That’s enough. More than enough.”

To share this kind of vulnerability with someone was scarier than war itself. In truth, Desmond harboured his feelings to protect himself. It took a level of trust and acceptance to even admit to the demons in his head and with Nazli, he was willing to let go and say it for what it is. He braced himself, thinking she would see him in another light, the fear that she might have towards him and the potential of losing her if she didn’t want to be with someone with this much baggage. However, such negative thoughts dissipated the moment he felt her touch as he looked at his hands and noticed that she had reached out to him. It was in that moment that Desmond realized it was okay to trust his heart completely to her. 

“But what if it gets to a point where I can’t break that habit?” he asked in a hushed whisper. “What if I pushed you to the brink where you stop reaching? I just…I know that I’ll have moments where nothing else matters to me, but you? I can’t let anything happen to you. I won’t be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt you.” There was slight panic in his tone as reality started to set in. Was this even worth pursuing? Does she even want to see him through the bad? However, Nazli’s touch grounded him again as Des felt her heartbeat and he listened attentively to her words. Suddenly, he could feel his heart beating loudly after receiving this confirmation that they both wanted to unlearn parts of themselves that they knew they needed to work on. It was acceptance, trust, and growth all in one and it made Desmond realize how much he loved the woman before him. 

“Thank you…” he managed to say out loud. “You taught me that it’s okay if we don’t get it right. So as long as we try to approach it with patience, love and acceptance then I’m with you every step of the way if you feel the same with me.” He then nodded and swore that he was going to give it his all to not push her away completely. “I will do my best to not constantly repeat this avoidant habit of mine. I acknowledge that I’ll have moments where I will still do it, but I’m telling you right now that I won’t be in the right mindset and protecting you matters most to me. I will do what I can to get myself out of it, but I want you to know that I want you to stay and I want this to work.” He paused before reaching up to caress her cheek, “And as for you, I will stay and I will wait for you to come back to me even when things get tough. You ask for space, I’ll be right outside your bubble, waiting…You want to control the situation, I’ll let you, but I’ll also remind you that I’ll be here once you’re ready.” Suddenly, an idea came to mind as he met her gaze and asked, “Should we have a code word that only both of us know that we could say if things get rough? That way the other person is aware of what they’re going through. I know communication is key in a relationship, but sometimes it’s hard to find the words to convey what you’re truly feeling you know?” 

Desmond held onto her and remained silent once she spoke about her true feelings about his involvement with the Grudge Box. He expected it and if anything, he knew that could have been an absolute deal breaker to end things right there and then. However, to hear her understand, yet still manage to speak up on how she felt about it helped put things into perspective for the bodyguard. “I hear you and I appreciate that you’re still staying,” he said at first. “That part of me in the Grudge Box is something I’m still unlearning, yet at the same time still wanting to hold on to. It’s where I feel comfortable, secure and…with you in the picture, I know how difficult it’ll be to get out of it as I truly don’t want to hurt nor worry you all the time.” His gaze softened as he rubbed her back in circles to soothe her from thinking the worst of the situation. He listened, he understood and he was willing to try, that’s what he learned at this very moment. “Okay.” he simply said. “I will be real as I can get and I will do what I can to rely on your support when the going gets tough. I just have to see it as I’m not a burden and it’ll take time…” He then pulled away slightly to tilt her chin up and leaned down to kiss her gently, “I love you so much…” he murmured against her lips. “And I’m going to do everything I can to not lose you.” 

[nazlixelmas]

Her smile lingered as she watched Cynthia light up, that familiar spark in her eyes making the Atelier feel warmer somehow—like despite all the lives they’d both lived, this space still allowed room for softness. And Cynthia, for all her razor-sharp edges, was letting hers show in a way that made Nazli want to match her honesty with tenderness of her own. “I’m really glad you’re doing both,” she said, arranging the trays with a careful hand. “I think there’s something poetic about that—the strength of the signet and the intimacy of a shared bracelet. Bold and subtle, just like you.” She paused, letting her words land. “And between you and me, I love seeing this side of you. Not because it’s softer or sweeter, but because it’s real. And that’s what you’ve always deserved—to be known like that.” Her gaze flicked upward, the corners of her mouth quirking. “Don’t worry, your terrifying reputation is safe with me. I won’t tell a soul you’re just a hopeless romantic underneath all that couture and chaos.” There was no judgment in her tone—only deep affection, the kind you could only carry for someone who’d once broken your heart and, in time, reminded you that it had healed stronger. At the mention of 'Fated,' Nazli stilled, her fingers curling gently around the bracelet sample. That one word—simple, absolute—wasn’t chosen lightly. She knew that, and she didn’t ask for explanation. “That’s beautiful,” she said quietly, a reverence in her voice. “I’ll make sure it’s done right. Clean. Understated. But intentional. Like it’s always belonged there.”

Then, with a soft laugh, she added, “and for the record, I know you’d never let yourself be owned. That’s not what engraving is. It’s a reminder, a marker. Not of possession—but of meaning. And if Ezra makes you feel like your world flipped upside down in the best way… then maybe that word is the whole story.” She hesitated for a beat before continuing, something gentler threading through her voice. When Cynthia mentioned Desmond, she knew she shouldn't have been surprised that the other had noticed it. “He...I shouldn't even be surprised that you know we're exploring something together." She laughed softly before nodding, "Desmond’s…he's really wonderful and he's trying. And that’s something I don’t say lightly. He’s not perfect—far from it—but he listens. He stays. And when I get scared or quiet or even unkind with my grief… he doesn’t run. That’s new for me.” Her eyes flicked to Cynthia’s. “You don’t need to go full assassin on him. Not at all. Irrespective of what happens between he and I, alright?” Nazli might have understood the other's line of work but that didn't mean she'd ever want to have anything to do with why someone wasn't around anymore. Nazli stepped back slightly, her expression more thoughtful now. “I think we both fell into something we didn’t think we’d ever trust again. And somehow… it’s working. Maybe fated’s not just for you after all.”

“As you should, in fact it’s a privilege.” Cynthia continued to keep things light as a proud smile crept onto her lips after hearing how Nazli’s been handling things. She had to admit that she could tell she had done some growth on her end. The effort she’s made was more than enough for Cynthia to know that she didn’t have to worry too much about her. “Of course, you’re doing what you can and that’s what matters. I’m rooting for you and if you need anything, you just let me know.” Her observation about Ezra had her smiling from ear to ear as it was spot on. Her boyfriend saw her for who she is, regardless of affiliation, upbringing, status, etcetera. “You always knew how to articulate and process such sentiments. I wish I was better at it, but I’m starting to learn…Thank you, that’s exactly it.” 

Cynthia then happily clapped her hands as she was definitely leaning towards doing both. “Ugh, you know me so well. I’ll definitely do both.” The more ideas Naz presented, the more excited the CEO got as she was looking forward to curating something as special as this to symbolize her relationship with Ezra. “And that’s between you and I because I refuse to let the public know how soft I am.” Cynthia pointed out in a matter of fact tone. “But you are right, he does make me feel…Like deeply and it’s insane at times how one person can just change your entire world upside down in so many ways.” 

When Nazli said she was proud of her, the assassin’s gaze softened as she appreciated her kind words. “You’re sweet Naz, thank you. It means a lot.” she gently replied with a warm smile. “Hm, Mr. Caine better be treating you right or he’s a dead man and you know I won’t hesitate.” Although their relationship had ended, she still wanted the best for Nazli regardless of what the circumstances were. She was someone she valued in the long run and she wouldn’t change her opinion despite their differences. “No engraving, but you know that doesn't sound like a bad idea.” she joked at first with an eye roll. “As if I’ll be anyone’s property, but now you got me thinking about the engraving in his bracelet…” Her voice trailed off as she thought of the suggestions Naz had given her. “I’d like it to be a word…If you could engrave ‘Fated’. He’ll understand what that means.”

[nazlixelmas]

Nazli let out a soft laugh, the kind that came from deep in her chest—part amusement, part relief. “Okay, fine, I was deflecting. But in my defence, you asking me to spill everything feels like karmic payback for every time I pried into your life over bad coffee and midnight texts.” She nudged Hayat again with her foot, more affectionate this time, before curling her fingers around the stem of her glass. “Yeah… he is kind of perfect for me. Not in that storybook way where everything’s easy or predictable—but in the way that he makes space. Like I don’t have to shrink myself or censor the hard parts of my story to make him stay.” Her voice dipped a little as she continued, not sad, just honest. “He’s not afraid of the silence. He doesn’t rush to fill it. And when I told him about Mom and Dad, he didn’t flinch. No platitudes, no awkward shift in the conversation. Just... stayed.”

Her gaze grew distant for a moment, thoughtful. “I think that’s when I knew. It wasn’t just that he showed up—it’s that he kept showing up, without needing me to earn it. And I didn’t realize how much I’d been bracing for someone to walk away, even now. Grief makes everything feel temporary, you know? Like even the good stuff is on borrowed time.” She glanced at her cousin, something soft flickering behind her eyes. “But with him, I don’t feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop anymore. I feel... safe.” Nazli tilted her head, lips curving in a small, wry smile. “And yes, I have more stories. But I'd feel bad hijacking this whole day with that..I want to know more about what's been keeping you busy Hayat, and happy too. Because that's important."

"Oh, so you finally admit you were deflecting," Hayat said with a laugh, settling back and getting comfortable because this was clearly going to be a proper conversation now. "And Desmond sounds absolutely perfect for you, honestly. Someone who listens and doesn't try to fix everything or rush you through your grief? That's rare." She couldn't help but smile at how Nazli's whole face changed when she talked about him, like she'd found something she didn't even know she was looking for. The part about him not flinching when she mentioned her parents really got to her — that kind of acceptance wasn't something you found every day, especially when you came with complicated baggage. "I love that he just kept showing up until you realized you weren't waiting for disaster anymore," she said, nudging back when Nazli's foot bumped hers. The threat about grilling her if she looked at anyone too long made her laugh because yeah, that was definitely going to happen now that turnabout was fair play. "Fine, but you better have more stories about this guy because I'm not done asking questions yet."

[nazlixelmas]

Her smile softened, but there was a quiet weight behind it as she squeezed Sahana’s hand. “Delightful menaces… I like that. It’s funny how we can be so chaotic on the surface, but underneath it all, there’s this deep need to just be seen and understood without having to dress it up or hold it back.” She paused, letting the moment settle. “Sometimes I think the noise, the mess, the wild energy—it’s all just a way to keep the pain at bay, you know? But with you, with us, it feels different. Like it’s okay to breathe through it, to be vulnerable without losing ourselves.” Her eyes flickered with something quieter, almost hesitant. “That kind of space, that kind of safety—it’s rare. And maybe it’s the only thing that’s kept me and you grounded through everything.” She gave a soft laugh, a little weary but sincere. “If the masseuse can survive our antics, she deserves a medal. But beyond that, it’s knowing we show up for each other, no matter how messy the days get—that’s what really holds me steady.” Nazli clutched her best friend's hand tightly and nodded at her, "you know that while Dante is your family--you have me too right? I'm your family as much as you're mine Sah, don't forget that." She'd noticed the way the other had almost been quiet when she spoke about martial wisdom and she almost had to bite her tongue from asking if Sterling was causing trouble as well but held back. She trusted Sahana to come to her if she needed to talk. "So--I'm thinking a deep tissue massage, thoughts?"

"Yes, emotionally taxed queens is exactly what we are," Sahana laughed, getting to her feet and taking Nazli's offered hand without hesitation. "And you're right about the dramatic car crying being therapy—honestly, we should probably charge people for our expertise at this point." She felt lighter already, like some invisible weight had lifted just from being understood so completely. Her best friend always knew exactly what to say, didn't she? The playlist debates and French ballads and switching between topics at lightning speed—that was just them, and it worked. "Your back carrying generations of family trauma is so real though, mine's been doing the same thing with all the Castaneda stress lately," she continued, squeezing back as they headed toward the spa entrance. The married wisdom comment made her stomach flip a little because wow, there was so much Nazli didn't know about Sterling and the secret wedding and everything that came with it. But maybe that conversation could wait until after they'd been properly pampered and she could think straight again. "I love that you called us delightful menaces, because that's going on my business cards now. We're definitely going to give that masseuse a hard time with our antics. I always leave a good tip anyway and we might be annoying but, we're nice enough."

[nazlixelmas]

"You don’t owe anyone your exhaustion, Hannah. Not the diner, not the customers, not even the world.” She stood, offering her hand with steady warmth. “Sometimes stepping away is exactly what we need to find our way back.” Her voice was calm but firm, like an anchor in the storm. “Call your boss from the car, fake the sick day, whatever it takes. We’ll get you out of here and somewhere quieter—somewhere you can breathe without the noise pressing down on you.” She gave Hannah’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve got more ahead of you than this shift. And I’m here for whatever comes next.” Nazli had a thought about Hannah's circumstances but she didn't want to trivialize the other's hard work and so once they were in the car did she speak up. "Are you--content working there, or could you see yourself perhaps looking for something else? And if you'd rather not talk about work in general--say the word and I will end up discussing pizza toppings with you instead."

the longer that hannah worked for the diner, the more she wondered if there was something else that she needed to do with her life. her previous plans had been altered and there wasn't any going back, so she kind of felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. taking in a deep breath, she looked over at nazli. "let's do it. i don't want to finish this shift. i'll make the money up another way." after all, she couldn't handle another difficult customer. she refused to, if she were being honest. "let's get out of here. i'll call my boss from the car and let him know i got sick. i'm sure he'll understand and if he doesn't fuck 'em, you know?"