nationalcomingoutday

[nationalcomingoutday]

Yesterday I came out to get rest of my friends as non-binary through a letter and they were all amazingly accepting. I'm so happy and I hope everyone else's coming outs went amazing!

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My Coming out story, from start to finish

I knew I was gay before I knew what gay was. I just knew I liked boys and not girls.This didn’t bother me because I didn’t understand it, I was only like 6-7 after all so why would it. Then I got older and everyone was telling me I should like girls. Not that I told anyone I didn’t but its the old boy meets girl stories you hear as a kid. I remember when I was a teenager, maybe 12-13ish I stole a copy of my Dad’s newspaper the Sun. I spent hours looking at that topless lady trying to understand it.

I then went to secondary school. I felt like crap from here, I would spend the whole lesson trying to understand why I didn’t like that “hot” girl but could spend hours day dreaming about my best friend. I felt wrong, horrible, I thought I had a mental illness and had to hide it from everyone. The closest I got to coming out was asking my Religious Education teacher the age of gay consent, she told me 18 (it was 16). I know it sounds small but that one thing, different ages of consent, confirmed for me that it was different and wrong.

I went though secondary school pretending to be “normal”, I later came out after I left school at 16. I decided to go about it as slowly as possible. I changed how I dressed (from cheap tracksuits to real stuff) my friends all said I was turning into a “emo fag boy”. They also told me they had “lost respect” for me. This just sent me head first into the start of my major depression, (I had been depressed though school but not this bad). I then thought fuck it, I decided to tell them I was Bisexual, they really turned on me then. They stopped talking to me, threaten me with violence and got some rather nasty people to jump me once or twice. (I was getting attacked a lot back then so not sure how many attacks were linked to them.) I got close to a girl I knew from school then, Jess, she saved my life, she is how I got though this next bit.

I had lost all my friends that had meant everything to me and one that I was pretty sure I was in love with. I felt utterly defeated and in all honestly if I had not had Jess there I don’t know what I would have done. I then told my parents, I remember this night like its still happening. My mum picked me up from town about half 9 at night, I was upset with all the shit happening to me and she made me tell her what was wrong. I said it, “I’m Gay, okay?” My heart sank, everything depended on this next response, “how do you know your gay?” “Stop being Silly?” “You know people hate gay people right?” “are you sure its not phase?” She said all these things and more. Everyone made me feel worse, I felt my life, my everything was over, she told Dad, we all had a big fight and I just ran out of the house crying. I told my cousin and Aunty, he met me outside, we went to his mums house and got drunk. He later told me that me being gay had made him cry because he had hated gay people. He pushed that away in the same moment I needed him most and helped me. That means a lot.

After this I had a year or so just having massive fights with my mum, I tried to kill myself once. I started self harming, saw about 3 counselors, was put on antidepressants and so on. None of this really helped. What did help was Jess. This is where she saved my life, nearly everyday I would have a cry to her and she would just listen and offer what advice she could. I learnt to always help people in the same way because of her and she was made me who I am today and I can never thank her enough.

My mum and I sorted things out in the end, because of violence in the streets I decided to move out of my parents home and up to Brighton on the Sussex coast. I am now with my boyfriend Krys, who is the best man ever and I love him so much. I am so much happier now!

Coming out may be a long and hard journey but its worth it! 

[nationalcomingoutday]

I wrote this today in honor of national coming out day =)

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I was really just procrastinating

So, I'd known I was gay for a while; and a week or two ago, I accidentally spilled the beans to a good friend and was like, "wtf why not?" last night, I got on Tumblr and saw national coming out day and kinda forced myself to text my best friend that I was gay and she was so supportive. It really fun cause she kept asking who the lucky boy was and how powerful is your gadar. Now we're Ganna go hang out at the mall sometime and I've been telling all my friends one by one. My word of advice is to find one friend, that one friend that you know is Ganna be there for you, and tell them. Even just one person knowing is a load of your shoulders. Talk about it, and make it feel more natural. I spent some time talking to my friend about fun ways to come out and it made it all seem more solid and secure. Enjoy yourselves guys and gals.

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My Coming Out Letter...

I just wanted to share my Coming out letter with you in the hopes that if even one of you are struggling in a similar place as me, that you know you’re not alone and that… as scary as it is, it’s OKAY to be proud and speak out for yourself.

***

Alright Friends and Family, please have a seat…

I was hoping that I might be able to have this conversation face to face with most of you, regardless of how daunting that might be (and frankly, time consuming). But through a series of unfortunate events, a good selection of you have already heard my story from other sources. Now, instead of lingering on that disappointment I’ve decided, after much consideration, to step up and speak for myself before it happens again.

For some of you, this is old news, for others perhaps a surprise… and for (what I hope to be none of you) this will be a deal breaker on being in each others lives.

All I ask is that if you do so choose to remove yourself from me, that you do so with respect as I intend to respect your decision in return:

I am, after far to many years, coming out. I am gay.

It’s been one of the longest and most difficult experiences of my life but I have never been happier than I am today. I’ve accepted who I am fully and without guilt. And I hope to continue whatever relationship we might have together, regardless of this fact. I’m not hiding anymore, and that is an incredible feeling.

Please, do feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions, I welcome them all with open arms.

I love and accept me for who I am, I hope maybe you can too.

-Lolita

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A while ago I came out to my closest friends as pansexual and a few months later as genderfluix (genderfluid + genderflux). Then I discovered National Coming Out Day was on the 11th of October. Guess whose birthday it is then? Mine! I'd like to use that when I'll come out to my parents. I'm not sure it will be this year but I really want to use that.

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After All These Years

When I started college in August of 2012 it didn't take long for me to notice something was different about me. I was noticing girls. I would see a cute girl and my brain would automatically say "wow, that girl is really hot." This confused me because I didn't remember ever being attracted to girls before. I grew up in a homophobic family and went to a private Christian school. Everyone around me hated the LGBTQ community my entire life. I did not ever understand this hate. Now, here I was in college, finding myself attracted to girls. I never said anything, I tried to not think about it and buried myself in my studies. When I was a Soohomore I met a girl I liked a lot but I ignored my feelings. I went on some dates with several different guys but it never went anywhere and I really didn't understand. It became more and more difficult to hide my feelings as time went by. As a junior my feelings for the same girl grew stronger than ever and I started having serious panic attacks. "I can't be gay" I told myself. I did some research on the internet and decided that bisexual best matched what I was feeling. I was satisfied with having an answer but I still thought I could go without ever telling anyone. I was having suicidal thoughts and turning deeper and deeper inside myself. Finally on October 21, 2015 I decided enough was enough. I came out to my friends one at a time and most of them fully supported me. I became much happier. It's been a year now and I'm not out to my family yet. I plan on coming out to them when I am financially independent. A few days ago while I was watching Orange is the New Black I remembered something from my childhood when Alex (played by Laura Pepron) said something that reminded me of her role as Donna in That 70's Show. I remeber watching That 70's show with my parents as a little kid. One day when I was 6 or 7 I told my parents that I was going to marry Donna, we never watched the show again. Suddenly everything made sense, the reason why I always felt so different as a kid. The reason why none of the boys in my class ever had a crush on me. I was queer. I was always queer, it is the way God made me.I had repressed that memory and many more memories of liking other girls. I have many of those memories back now. I am having a bit of an identity crisis but now I can move forward and be happy knowing that I'm just simply who I am. Some days I feel straight, some days I feel like I'm a lesbian, and some days I feel bi. It doesn't matter who I'm attracted to. I am just happy being me. There's one thing that won't ever change, even when I come out to my parents.I will always have a crush on Laura Pepron.

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Coming Out

When I was twelve, I noticed that something was different about me, and throughout the entire year, I was trying to convince myself that finding girls attractive was just me wanting to be them, rather than being queer, because I was taught it was a bad thing. 13 was the year when I started learning about my sexuality and the LGBTQ+community. At 14, I came out to my mom and close friends. It's been about four years since I started questioning my sexuality, and I couldn't be happier. I've joined my schools GSA and I'm out to all of my friend's, and my mom. It's not the ideal situation, but it's a huge step forward from being depressed, and lonely at 12/13.

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I don't know if this is considered a coming out story but here ya go: I come from a suburb of LA which is sweet right? it's pretty much the home of the LGBT community, so being gay shouldn't be that big of a deal for me; except for the fact the my whole family is very strong-practicing Mormons, and most of my friends are Mormons too. Don't get me wrong, not all Mormons are bad people but come on, they do NOT support gay rights. So suppressing my feelings was kind of my only option. The summer of last year I met a girl at work and we slowly started to become very close to each other. The only problem is that I'm in love with her, but to her I'm just her best friend. I left for college (of course to Utah which is like 90% Mormons) and everything was fine, I told myself I'll just never tell anyone I'm into girls, and I'll just get a boyfriend. I went on dates with boys but just never got into it. It wasn't until I was asked the question, "what's wrong? Are you not in the mood?" while trying to get intimate with a man I realized I could never be happy living a life like this. So that's when I started drunkenly telling my gay guy friends (because I don't personally know any gay girls) at parties that I thought I was gay but told them not to tell. After starting my sophomore year of college I put myself in a dark place. I stopped going to classes and doing my homework and hanging out with my friends because all my energy went to suppressing who I was. One day the girl from home was texting me and asked me what was wrong because she knew I had been having a hard time and we tell each other absolutely everything so she knew something was wrong. I ended up telling her that I was gay (not that I'm in love with her) and that I didn't know what to do because if I told my school friends from Utah, I wouldn't have anymore friends, and I can't tell my family because I have heard them make comments about how being gay is "gross" and stuff like that. She insured me that she would never judge me for it but that's about where my coming out ends. So I still don't really have anyone to talk to so that's why I joined tumblr to hopefully meet someone I can relate to.

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I'm not going to wish the LGBTQ community a happy coming out day-because to many of us this day reminds us of years of confusion, self doubt, denial, and fear. Coming to terms with being gay was literally the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and it took be 22 years to be okay with it. If you've already gone through coming to terms with your sexuality then take this day and remind yourself how courageous you actually are. And to anyone who is still struggling to accept or even understand their sexuality just know that you are not alone. For years I thought that the most disappointing, terrifying and intimidating thing that I could ever do was to tell my friends and family that I was gay. I thought that I would live a secret life and ultimately end up marrying a man because I wasn't brave enough to admit who I really was. To anyone still struggling with this I just want you to know that life inside the closet is safe, but it is far from fulfilling. You honestly can not even imagine the level of happiness that awaits you on the other side. I promise you will never be truly happy pretending to be something that you are not, and I also promise that this feeling will not ever go away. I'm not going to paint you a pretty picture of what it is like. People may not support you. Same sex friends may get weirded out and drift away. The opposite sex may assume your exes weren't "man enough" or "woman enough" for you and that they "turned you gay". Your christian family? They may think that your attraction to the same sex is a larger sin than adultery and completely disown you. (Legitamtely, they may think of you as dead and not even deam you worthy of eye contact.) People will say ignorant terms like "but you're so pretty"... When you're holding your significant other's hand on the street people will double take and even then assume that you are "just friends". You'll break necks when you kiss your girlfriend or boyfriend in public and people's jaw will hit the floor. None of these situations are easy things to live through, but I promise you, you will live through them. You will become a stronger person than you ever even thought was possible. And if you're lucky, people will even surprise you. Who knows, your extremely religious 90 year old grandmother will be in shock, and then after a while will start to ask to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend on the phone at night. Your parents who always imagined giving their little girl away to the man of her dreams will realize that the man of her dreams is actually the woman of her dreams; and how beautiful will two brides look on their wedding day? Your friends will realize that you dating a woman or a man is "so much more fun" because we "all like to do the same things" and they "don't have to sensor themselves like we did when you dated guys." When and if your first gay relationship ends your heart will feel as though it went through a blender; you may legitamately wish you were dead because this person that you risked everything for threw you away like garbage. But if you're really, really lucky? You find the love of your life and they make you realize that anything you ever struggled with and all of the past heart break doesn't even matter anymore; because you now know what it is like to look at someone with the most unconditional, pure love you have ever felt. So if you're scared to come out, I don't blame you. They wouldn't call it brave if it wasn't absolutely terrifying. Every situation in this post has happened to me, and it has been heart wrenching. But I promise you; even if they happen to you too, once you conquer the fear of the hate and judgement that may lay ahead of you, you'll actually start to understand what it's like to live. #loveislove #comingoutdayissoimportant

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Truth

[I wrote this on my tumblr, but thought that maybe it might help some others to read it. i hope it does.]

happy national coming out day to my friends in the #LGBT community! i wanted to write something, having seen all the powerful and beautiful posts to social media from my friends. i don’t expect what i’m about to write to be on the same level as what i have seen done so succinctly. My friends are activists by simply saying the words ‘i love you’ to those society judges them for loving. it will take me quite a few words more. I’m not even writing this on my direct social media identities. even now in a way i am shielded. I don’t talk about my sexuality very often (i’m starved like that), which to an extent is a privilege i use to my advantage, since i am heterosexual and also a male, so people typically assume something that is generally accurate.  that said, i myself am also far from normal or typical as a straight person. my quirks, kinks, and fetishes are something i love and live all day everyday. as lingerie fetishist, in a hidden way i am also a form of crossdresser. i’ve been this way my whole life, and would never change it. on a social level quirks and fetishes like mine are often treated with a stigma or used to undermine my identity. treated like a punchline or a novelty, discarded. as a male who is very much so in touch with his feminine side, the toxic realities of masculine culture are something i remain very much aware of. i benefit from the fact that these quirks and fetishes are not readily apparent at first glance, and that i’ve managed to escape close calls with quick thinking. i’m abundantly aware at all times that one mistake could be the difference between the facade i put forth continuing to protect me or crumbling to ruin. that who i am could be used to try to attack me if someone intolerant, bigoted, or repulsed by my existence discovered it.  I’ve grown accustomed to the shadows. it’s a funny twist of irony, that even though i am straight i feel i have a great deal more in common with the LGBT community than with other straight people, and though i am a man (and happy with my gender) that i feel i have a great deal more in common with women.  i’m certain i’ve only faced a fraction of the mistreatment my friends in the LGBT have. but i have faced it. i do understand. and i stand with you. <3

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"People think that Coming Out is a public statement, to tell others what we are. But actually it's to tell ourselves who we are."

LezTalk 

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My coming out story 🌈

I had been dating my girlfriend for 4 months before I officially came out. I didn't tell my friends, my family, nothing. The school eventually found out because it was obvious and I told each friend one by one, every single one getting less and less scary. Some took it well, some were shocked! But mostly got positive vibes. Then it was time to tell my dad. Me: *starts crying* Dad I need to tell you something Dad: What that you're gay? Me: Wait what.. you knew? This was a big thing for me Dad: Danika I've known for like 2 months, it doesn't make a difference for me, I love you always In the end my dad already knew, he loved me anyways, and the real friends remained friends with me no matter who or what I liked. I got pretty lucky yes, but that doesn't mean don't come out because you're afraid you won't be as lucky as I was. Coming out was one of the scariest things in my life and yes there were hard days and hard people, but I wouldn't trade the feeling right now for anything. As of today I've been out for a year and a half and I'm so proud to be who I am. Coming out will definitely change your life for the better. Be proud of who you are, it'll make for great happiness 😌

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Low key wish I could come out, but my fam isn't so open to "selfish, disgusting bisexuals" and 90% of my community is conservative, old white people so... Anyone in this situation?

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Comic-Con Callout

I came out as bisexual to several of my friends entirely by accident.

Salt Lake City Comic Con: FanX, 2017. Every year they have a bunch of panels, famous actors, incredible fan artists and creators selling goods, and just a massive amount of cosplay. This year, there it was on the schedule. LGBTQA+ Geek Speed Dating. I must admit, I blinked. It was entirely unexpected, and I desperately wanted to attend. I only recently came out to myself and stopped denying my own status. I grew up in Utah, as a member of the LDS church, and it's been a long struggle to decide that's not what I want to be forever, or even anymore. 

The LGBTQA+ speed dating panel was late in the day - about the time my friends and I had originally talked about leaving. I thought about it throughout the day, not sure whether to bring it up. My friends are all pretty firmly LDS, and I had no idea how they would take it - not to mention I live with a couple of them. We went our separate ways for a good portion of the day, but eventually, we met up on the vending floor to do some shopping.

While we were shopping, my friends and I paused before we planned to split up again, coordinating where and when to meet up to head home. Seemingly of its own accord, my mouth formed the words, "Actually, I'd like to stay later - I want to go to the LGBTQA+ speed dating panel."

Everyone just sort of froze and looked at me. I grinned to mask the panic and said, "Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm bi." Then I threw a peace sign and booked it in the direction of the bathroom to quietly have a panic attack in one of the stalls. When I did meet up with them later, no one mentioned it. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it still hasn't, weeks later. One friend talked to me about it, let me know they didn't care. Another friend texted me a couple of questions and then started making jokes about helping me pick up chicks (which are actually hilarious, and she does the same thing to all the other girls in our group about picking up guys). Other than... nothing changed. It's just the same as ever. I'd been so braced for a negative reaction, I really had no idea how to take the rather positive reaction for quite a while, and I kept dropping mentions of cute men and women around campus to test the waters. Still no one cared. I actually had a friend bring me ice cream when she found out that the woman I had a crush on was very straight.

I feel incredibly lucky to have friends who are so understanding and safe, especially in such a religious community as I live in. I'm planning to come out to my family after I graduate college this month, and have a secure job. I have my fingers crossed it will go well. If not - I'm slowly making friends in the LGBTQA+ community and learning to lean on and trust my friends more.

For the first time in a long, long time, I am wholly myself with the people I care about, and it's been incredibly freeing. I know a lot of coming out stories are hard, and rough - but sometimes things go a lot better than you expected. Sometimes, accidentally coming out at Comic Con is a brilliant move. 

[nationalcomingoutday]

Bill Bernhard coming out gay in Houston, Texas

Hi there guys Bill Bernhard here coming out bi/gay here in Houston, Texas.  I say bi/gay as I love having sex with both sexes. I love giving head while being ass fucked and I love orally pleasing a woman, making love to them and helping them bring their man to climax too. There is nothing better than making love to a man or men depending on the occasion. I love another man s warm body wrapped around mine and having that throbbing penetration over and over again. I was married twice to women and loved every minute of sex with them but the excitement I feel with a man cannot be beat. My first experience with gay sexual encounter was at the age of nine with a friend who was sleeping over of the same age. It was just caressing and that was that but it did spark my interest. At 12 a friend of mine approached me at school and asked if we could give each other a blow job so we did in the bathroom of the private school we were attending. That was also my fist kiss with another male.  At thirteen my best friend of 14 asked if he could have anal sex with me and without hesitation I said yes.  I never forgot those experiences but went on to live a normal Heterosexual life getting married having kids but never forgetting the homosexual urge out of within. It was not until my twenties during my first marriage that I had my first sexual encounter with another male.  We made love for over an hour holding each other, kissing, enjoying oral sex and the pleasures of anal sex and from that point on I was hooked. Since then I have had countless sessions with bi couples, gay couples, gay group sex and of course one on one gay making love sessions. I still enjoy the company of women as well as men and that is why I consider myself both bi and gay at the same time. There is a lot more to tell but that will be another time.

[nationalcomingoutday]

i’m a 12 year old trans boy

ever since third grade i knew i was different from other girls. i never like what they liked and i was way more masculine. it was about at this time when i started realising i wanted to be a boy. i remember once looking in the mirror thinking “what girl wouldn’t want to be a boy” however i thought this was normal and just hid it from my parents. i remember in winter break of 2016, i figured out i wasn’t a girl. i identified as gender fluid but went back into the closet because of my sister saying i wasn’t gender fluid. fast forward to the summer of 2017, i had musically and there was this cosplayer i followed called pasteltheghost. and they were female to male transgender. everything they felt was quite similar to my feelings. i soon realised that i was in fact transgender. but, i identified as gender fluid/androgynous for the first few months of seventh grade. i realised in about november or october that i was fully a boy. i came out to my parents around that time. i also had a difficult time with names. the names i went by were marah, angelo, cameron, and jake. but now i’m arin. everyone calls me that. now it’s almost been 6 months and now my parents barely address me as my birth name anymore and use he pronouns for me. and on friday i have my second gender therapy session and i’m really excited. what i’ve learned from all of this is to be yourself and if you feel uncomfortable with a label and you realise you’re something else, you can change it. nobody can say you’re not whoever you are.