nathanism - Tumblr blog

[nathanism]

me, living my life: chaotic stupid

[nathanism]

paloma-espadas‌:

“Shit. You watch it, buddy.” Paloma had been minding her own business when she felt the air nearly knock out of her from the bump with a brick wall, except it wasn’t a brick wall, it was a man. Her sharp words had come out on instinct, but as she looked up at the man, a smile crept on her face. Her eyes scanned him up and down and up again. “Unless you mean watch you by watch it, I wouldn’t mind watching you.” It was almost as if she could feel her friend’s eyeroll from miles away when her demeanor changed. “Why is a pretty face like yours brooding about?”

Nathan tilted his head as he observed the woman in front of him. She had basically hissed at him and now she was trying to hit on him. Relaxing his stance, he let his eyes wander her form before returning his gaze to her face. He totally ignored her friend, his attention solely focused on the woman in front of him. She was quite beautiful, which spurred him on to continue conversing with her and sparked an interest in him. He was so shallow, he thought, but that thought quickly vanished from his mind. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Besides, we haven’t even exchanged names and you’re already prying. Names Nathan.” 

[nathanism]

niko-valentine‌:

Niko had just finished up another shift at the station and he was walking downtown, running some errands he had promised to get done for his mom when he bumped into the other man. He was too focused on the donut in hand to have noticed him before it was too late. “Sorry, man. You alright?” He swallowed and that was when he saw the smiliarities. The brown hair and dark brown eyes. They all shared certain features, Cass had shown him a few pictures of her family in the past and Niko was sure it was one of the Brookes brothers. “You’re Cass’ brother, aren’t you? I’m Niko Valentine.”

Nathan moved a few steps away from the other man, and then eyeing him after he brought up Cassandra. “Uh, no worries but yeah, you’re correct.” He nods his head. He had just moved to the town, and hadn’t really delved too deeply into any of his sibling’s lives here and what they had been up to. He had still yet to have any real, meaningful conversations about everything. “Nice to meet you. Names Nathan. You friends with Cass or somethin’?” It seemed only inevitable that Nathan would be his sibling’s friends and all those connected with them. 

[nathanism]

biigbxn‌:

Leaning closer to the other, Benji watched as Nathan navigated his phone. “Hey. You have the app and know how to open it. You’ve graduated from grandpa to golf dad.” The bartender moved to type on the phone, simply searching for barbershop. “You wanted a barbershop so you type ‘barbershop’. It’s crazy how intuitive technology can be sometimes. Just imagine you’re talking to the town crier from the olden days.”

Nathan let out a snort and said, “just what I always wanted to be, a golf dad. I think you’ve made my dreams come true.” He jokes, and watches the younger man find the barbershop on the map. “So, like, you don’t have to put in specific names for places or anything. I could write bar and it’ll just pop up with any bar in town?” Nathan asks before he follows up with an apology. “Sorry, I am really not a technology guy. I never even got a phone until -- until well,” He rubs the back of his neck, remembering the way his wife had badgered at him to get one. “My wife use to bug me about it, so I got one.” He says, although his smile sort of fades into a frown. “Anyway, thanks for the help, uh, what’s your name?” 

[nathanism]

jack--valentine‌:

Jack walked down the street, sending a message to the family chat about brunch, when he felt himself bump into someone. He backed up a few steps and glanced up, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry man! Got distracted, I didn’t make you drop anything did I?” He asked, eyes scanning the area around them.

Nathan took a few steps away from the young man, and shook his head. “Nah, you’re good.” He tells the guy, giving a small smile. As he was brought back to reality, he decides that he should probably get some job applications or something. He’d thought about applying for any of the Eden’s schools, but seeing children would probably just make him more depressed. “If you aren’t in a rush, could you perhaps point me in the direction of the library?” 

[nathanism]

aria-clark‌:

The day had been nice, and Aria had been too busy to truly enjoy it. She’d been running all over town, delivering files and messages to the various parties involved in her work, and now, with the sun setting, Aria felt as though she finally had a moment to herself. She needed that moment, to ponder over her feelings over her dad’s return- and the whole situation with Parker. It just felt like it was too much too fast, and while she’d never complain to either of them, she couldn’t just bottle it up. Not again. It hadn’t gone well the last time she’d tried to do that. But, she wasn’t that great at walking while distracted, and when she was almost quite literally knocked out of her own mind, Aria immediately flushed and looked up with wide eyes to the man she’d bumped into.

“ I-I’m so sorry- ” She clutched her bag, knuckles white.

As the girl apologized, Nathan felt a it bad for being so snappy. He rubbed the back of his neck, before giving a shrug. “No worries, no worries, I’m not going to scream at you or anything.” He told her, and then moved to create some more distance between them. He had been knocked out of his reverie, and was now coming to the realization that he did not know how to return to Cassandra’s place. “Do you happen to know Cassandra Brookes?” Nathan asks quickly, before the girl can scurry off. “She’s my sister and I’m new to this town and I’ve been trying to get use to the place but I happen to have forgotten how to get back and my phone is actually dead.” He explains, pulling out his phone even to a dark screen. A younger man had helped him find the barbershop, but after exploring more of the town his phone eventually died on him and so he no longer had that handy map. “Could I perhaps use your phone?”

[nathanism]

Nathan had thought it would have been a good idea to move to Eden, to be around his siblings and to make sure that nothing happened to them. It had been a choice born out of desperation and grief, but he hadn’t realized how much he really missed all of the Brookes siblings being together. He hadn’t seen or communicated as much with his younger siblings as he did with Andy, especially with Cass. He had always just gotten along great with Andy, them being closer in age. When she had her accident, his reaction wasn’t as worried as it should have been -- he was too focused on his own problems. Now, he had been hit with the realization that he couldn’t lose her, either, or Alex -- or anyone ever again. 

Nathan sat at the table, book in his hand as the room had turn silent. Although, being back together was great it could also be awkward, and sometimes, even tense. Still, Nathan tried not to cause any trouble to his two younger siblings and merely kept to himself unless he was needed or wanted for something. With Alex’s question, his eyes turned from his book to the man. “I managed to find the barbershop and the library, thanks to some of the locals i ran into on the street. There’s a pretty handy navigational app on our phones, and somehow I’m just finding out about it today. I feel like such an old-timer sometimes, you know, like a what’s the word... boomer?” He replied with a chuckle, marking his spot in his book with a bookmark and laying it upon the table. “Oh, well, if you ever have any time, I’d love a tour from you guys. I do have one important question, though. Where’s the best place to grab some food around here?” He inquires, looking between the two. 

@cassandrabrookes​ @aleksanderbrookes​

It hadn’t been long since Nathan had arrived in Edens Town, something Alex hadn’t expected at all. Not that he was upset about the fact that his brother was in town. While Nathan and Alex were opposites in many ways, it didn’t mean Alex didn’t love his brother as much as one could, and he was happy that all three of them would be able to spend more time together. Their lives had changed in so many ways over the years, but hopefully being in Edens Town would be good for all of them with their own problems, some worse than others. In a horrible way that Alex would never admit, having Nathan there was a reminder that his own problems were minuscule and easily able to be gotten over in the long run. Anna might’ve hurt him and they might’ve broken up, but how could one compare that to truly losing your wife and child? The fact was none of them had any idea if Nathan would ever be able to move on, not that Alex could blame him if he didn’t. The three of them sat around the dinner table in Cass’s house. Things still felt a bit awkward as they all got used to being back together again. Wanting to include Nathan in things, Alex looked over to his brother and gave him a small smile. “So, what’d you do today? I’ve been visiting a few places around town that I didn’t get the chance to visit before. I could take you around to some of the more interesting places if you want, and I’m sure Cass has suggestions too.” Alex was lucky in that he automatically had the stables to occupy his time. Nathan wasn’t quite so lucky.

@nathanism​ @cassandrabrookes​

[nathanism]

location: downtown who: open (@edtstarter​)

Nathan stood on the sidewalk downtown, eyes turned toward the sky to watch the setting sun. He had been spending his days roaming around the town, trying to get acquainted with the place combined with the fact he felt some sort of guilt being around Alex at all. So, Nathan dilly dallied throughout Eden with nothing much to do. He’ll probably just end up at some bar again that night, but for now, he was enjoying the sunset and the serenity the town seemed to emit right then. It was only then did someone bump into him, while he was spacing out, eyes set towards the horizon. It pulled him from his thoughts, eyebrows furrowing as he said, “hey, watch it, will you?”

[nathanism]

moranaxwallis‌:

It was early in the evening so the bar wasn’t too busy, so Ana decided to have a walk around the floor and actually speak to some of the patrons before it got too crowded and she just wanted to knock everyone out. Sometimes owning a bar had its drawbacks. 

Speaking of drawbacks, she turned and spotted a familiar face approaching her as she moved away from a table. Familiar in that she threw him out literally but not before having him on the ground after he started picking a fight with another one of her patrons. “Oh I remember you alright,” she assured him with an eyebrow raised, her stance currently far from friendly. Although she had to admit she was surprised he actually came back to apologise for his behaviour; most people just never come back. “Well, I’ve got to admit, no one ever actually comes back to apologise so thank you,” she told him before adding, “How are the injuries?”

“Ah, well, perhaps today I was feeling a little bit of good in this ol’ heart of mine.” Nathan chuckles, patting his chest where his heart would be. “Well, no, I suppose I’m going to be in this town for awhile so better to make friends then enemies this early on.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders. As she asks about his injuries, he rolls his shoulders. His muscles ache from trying to fight, and then inevitably getting slammed into the floor. “Ah, nothing too serious, thank you.” He’s quite grateful the lady hadn’t caused any serious damage, as he expected she totally could. “I’ve never actually had my ass handed to me like that. You train in something?” He questions, becoming intrigued with this women who could probably beat his ass.

[nathanism]

biigbxn‌:

Benji tilted his head slightly, faking offense. He pursed his lips slightly before looking slightly to the side and back to Nathan. “Oookay. Well. I’ll give you a pass because you were probably born in like, 1970, but there’s this app called Google Maps. You can use it to find pretty much anything. I’ve been emailing Google to add my apartment is a business, but that hasn’t gone anywhere. Anyways, I can teach you how to do it.”

Nathan laughs at the guy’s comment and says, “might as well have been.” He then looks back down at the phone in his hand. He had never been a tech savvy kind of person, and lately with all the new iPhones and VR and everything has sure started to make him feel a little old. He looks around his phone for the Google Maps app, pulling it up once he finds it. “Okay, this right?” He asks the stranger, showing him the screen. “What’s the business you’re trying to put up?” Nathan inquires, moving to stand closer to the man to watch the instructions.

[nathanism]

Nathan had gotten caught in some conversation he hadn’t wanted to be apart of. He was merely trying to find his way around town, being a newcomer and all. He typed away at his phone, shooting a text to Cassandra and begging the universe she would reply quickly so he could make his exit. Alas, that would not happen.

He slowly brought his gaze to the other man, as he was called out for being on his phone. “Hey, man, I have no idea who you are. I’m just trying to find the barbershop.” 

Location: Legends Bar Open: Anybody @edtstarter​

Benji looked at the other, faking a sense of incredulity. “Are you seriously checking your phone at the climax of my story? You know what, you don’t deserve to know what I taught my cat to do.” He said, shaking his head as the other made eye contact with him again. “On a totally unrelated note, did I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes of anybody I’ve ever met?”

[nathanism]

location: tingle with: @moranaxwallis​

Nathan had stopped at that same bar the night he had popped up in Eden. He had reminded himself he should probably apologize to the owner for the commotion he had caused that night. His body was still sore from the complete ass whooping that the woman had caused him, and he hadn’t even gotten her name. Still, he was trying not to be such a dickhead at times, and thought it be best if he gave a sincere apology in person. He stood in the entryway, rubbing the back of his neck before taking a deep breath and heading deeper inside. He almost thought he would be banned from the place, but no one uttered a word as he made his way inside.

He spotted the woman, swallowing his pride before approaching her. “Remember me?” He asks, trying to be all casual. “I’m the guy... you, uh... well, I was the drunk idiot who you put on the floor.” He lets out a chuckle, rubbing his sore shoulder. “I’ve come to apologize, for causing such a spectacle that night. The drinks were great, so I sort of uh, hope you don’t ban me from here forever.”

[nathanism]

BASICS

name & nicknames: nathan brookes ;; nate.  age & dob: thirty seven ;; december 22, 1983. gender & pronouns: cismale ;; he/him. hometown: pilot point, texas. time in edens town: nathan just moved there, arriving around a few days ago. district: ashford. occupation: he’s applied at the library, hopes to get a spot in there.  family: aleksander & cassandra brookes.  secret: he had an affair in college. 

( @edtintros​ )

PAST.

Nathan grew up in Texas, on a ranch in a little town north of Dallas. His childhood was one of normalcy. His parents were always supportive, always loving and he had never felt out of place with his own family. Although, he hadn’t the love of horses as they did or the ranch life, they still loved him and wanted him to achieve his dreams all the same. He worked hard on the ranch, and always was around when his family needed a helping hand but he had no prospect of ever taking over their family ranch, or continuing to work there throughout his life. This was not news, or surprising to anyone. The boy had dreams of going to college, getting a degree, becoming a well known writer, perhaps becoming an English professor or opening up his own bookstore somewhere. He had always been imaginative throughout his childhood, and usually had many drawings and short stories taped along his bedroom. 

He excelled through school, always focusing his time on studying and writing. Nathan always had his nose in a book, trying to learn all that he could. He was a quiet kid in school, never exactly stood out by his personality but always with his appearance. He did have an active social life, thanks to his older brother. Nathan had never been one to really shy away from people, anyway – he was just never a initiator like Andy. Although, he ended up sleeping around a lot, never having any fulfilling relationships as he didn’t care to fall in love after watching Andy’s love life crumble through his fingers. He had come to not believe in such a thing, perhaps, he was even afraid of it. Never letting anyone steal his heart, always keeping it caged, he would never allow anyone to hold it. He didn’t want to end up hurt and heartbroken, he was afraid of feeling such things. Besides, his friends have joked that Nathan’s always been controlled more by his dick then his head and heart. 

Nathan did have that tall, dark and handsome appeal that attracted a few girls throughout his schooling experience, but most of them weren’t all too interesting to him. There was only one in particular that caught his eye. At first, it seemed as if both of their feelings for each other were shallow. They both had gone after each other, mostly based off of appearances. They had never fallen in love with each other but they were both arm candy to one another, and enjoyed showing each other off. Although, their personalities seemed to be quite the opposite. She was this preppy, outgoing, loud, cheery, bright-eyed girl and he was just the nerdy bookworm who knew way too many facts about everything, and thought with his dick too much. With that, their relationship through high school was quite rocky and dramatic. They often were fighting, involved in some drama or another, or cheating on each other. Of course, they hadn’t ever made anything official until senior year but they still managed to have a tumultuous relationship that everyone knew about. Everyone joked that they’d never make it past high school, that their relationship was never that deep and wouldn’t stand the test of time and growth into adulthood. Surely, they’d ditch each other before graduation.

Except, they ended up showing those people wrong, at least, if only for awhile. They stayed together through graduation and college. Mina hadn’t any idea what she wanted to do with the future, and Nathan had decided to attend a college out in Dallas. Somewhere he could stay close to family, but be able to go explore the big city while in his 20s, too. He suggested to Mina that she could come, if she so pleased and had nothing better to do. They had spent quite some time together throughout their senior year, becoming closer and getting to know one another past the surface level. He sort of wanted her to come, but never expected anything of her. He enjoyed her company now, although, he was still not in love and he thought the same with her. Well, with nothing else to do, Mina had smiled brightly at him and agreed to move with him to Dallas. They both got jobs and worked hard while Nathan was pursuing an English degree. He had decided he wanted to become an English professor later in life, while writing on the side until he became a fully acknowledged author. During their stay in Dallas, they decided to just get married -- and so they did. 

It seemed the two of them had grown out of their high school schemes. They didn’t fight much anymore, spent most of their time together and took care of one another. They had grown into adulthood, so everyone had thought. Nathan had thought so too, but the moment he caught himself falling in love with Mina – he panicked, and tried to shut it all down. He started to distance himself from Mina, more. Always busy with school, always busy with work, something or another. It was during this time that Nathan ended up having an affair with another woman he met during one of his English classes. She had such a broad vocabulary, and loved all the same literature as him. Not only that, but she was enjoyable to look at and he ended up lusting after her. It could help him get Mina off his mind, to keep the lock around his heart. It wasn’t long before a group of students all decided to go out and get wasted after completing their finals and he tumbled into bed with this woman. It was something he didn’t immediately regret, and continued seeing her and sleeping with her for a few months afterward. Mina had never found out, and eventually Nathan ended the affair when he found out Mina was pregnant. He ended up regretted, filled with guilt with what he did as his relationship with Mina had actually deepened and their bond was quite strong. Still, he never told her. He thought he’d find the perfect time, but it never came.

They moved back to their hometown once Nathan graduated, and had hopes of raising their daughter there. Life went on, and things were pretty easy going. Nathan took a job as a teacher at the local high school, where he loved every second of it. He took care of his wife and daughter, somehow, even on a teacher’s salary. Nathan had come to really want to take care of his family, so that they didn’t have to work as hard. He even got two jobs, just to make sure that Mina didn’t have to go out and get some part time job that she’d probably end up dreading and hating. He took care of them, and life was good, it was happy. He tried all he could to make up for the affair, being as nice to Mina as she deserved. He’d come to realize that she was special, that perhaps, it wasn’t so wrong to be in love with her and he just needed to come clean about everything and his feelings. He shouldn’t be so scared of being in love with his wife, for Christ’s sake. He had hoped to tell her, after their vacation in Disneyland. He was going to sit down with her, face his fears, and tell her the truth like she deserved. She deserved everything, and Nathan felt so bad that he was just now realizing all of this at thirty four years old. 

They went on one vacation, a little birthday present for their daughter after just turning ten. She had wanted to go to Disneyland, so they had been saving up for it. The little family enjoyed their time, and Nathan was thrilled to see the never ending smile on his little girl’s face. They spent the whole vacation in each other’s arms with big grins on their faces. During their last day, they got separated in a crowd and Nathan had called their names and looked for hours for them but never did. He contacted the police, there was an investigation but nothing ever turned up. They simply disappeared and Nathan never saw them again after that. It was something that shook the Brookes family, they all lost part of their family and will never know what became of them. 

He became quite depressed, losing his job and his apartment and having to move back into his childhood bedroom. Nathan didn’t know what to do, and felt as if his wife and daughter might still be out there but he had no idea. He never got to tell his wife what she deserved to hear, never got to tell her that he had fallen in love, that he was an idiot, that he wanted to be whatever she needed. The guilt ate him alive, the heartbreak too, the dread of not knowing what happened to his wife and child. He had no answers, and there never were going to be any. The police had said they were probably dead by now. He didn’t do anything for two years, wallowing in depression and just barely being able to get out of bed. His parents worried, he was always on this cusp of death, teetering on a cliff. 

PRESENT/FUTURE

His sister, Cassandra, got into an accident around the time that his family disappeared, something that he had overlooked at the time. He had been stuck in his own head, incredibly depressed and broken. It was only during a phone call when she was updating him about her condition two years later, did he finally shake himself awake again. Remembering his sister’s accident, how quickly someone can just disappear from your life, it all spooked him. He was so thankful she had made it, and so he felt as if he needed to move out to Eden to make sure she stayed okay. Especially when he heard that Alex was going to be moving out there too, he had decided to pack his belongings and head there too. He wanted to keep an eye on the family that he had left, to make sure that they didn’t slip through his fingers like his wife and daughter. He needed to feel as if he had any control on his life, so he moved out to the town they lived in. 

He has moved in with Alex, for the time being. He doesn’t plan on staying, and is currently looking for his own apartment. He’s still quite depressed about everything, and has been looking into seeing a therapist and getting some type of help. He thinks he could try to rebuild his life, but he feels as if he’s too old and too bitter to ever have some sort of normal life again. He’s still incredibly guilt-ridden and the cage around his heart has only tightened. He had let himself fall in love, and terrible things happened. He keeps going for his siblings, to see their achievements and to be there for them when they need him. It feels like all he can do now, as he feels so lost in life. Everything slipped through his fingers, and now he’s trying to pick up any pieces although it hurts.

He wants to get better, he wants to repent, he wants to change. 

OTHER/INSPIRATION

aesthetics: a warm cup of coffee on a rainy morning, long car drives with the windows down, boots that are worn and dirty, flannels, sweaters, disorganized bookshelves, dirt paths that lead to nowhere in particular, old pianos that play off tune, written letters never sent. 

hogwarts house: ravenclaw. 

personality type: isfp. 

He has always been the closest with his older brother Andrei, as they are closer in age. They were only one year apart, and Nathan followed him around everywhere. They were quite the duo throughout high school, the Brookes boys. Nathan hasn’t seen him in a few years, really misses him, wishes he could just talk to him about everything and hug his brother again. 

Nathan is actually kind of a fuck boy™. He’s gonna try to fuck his feelings away!

His whole wife and child disappearing is a big mystery. He sort of believes they are out there somewhere, perhaps waiting for him to find them. He doesn’t want to really believe they are dead, yet he has no idea or any leads. They simply vanished. He has many theories, one that has started to haunt him is that Mina found out about his affair and took his daughter and left. 

He was a big cheater in high school, the complete opposite of his brother, Alex. It was quite known, but the older he got people assumed he had grown up. He has never told his family about his affair, though but he feels as if the guilt is eating alive at him and he’s so close to breaking. He’s afraid if he ever talks about any of it, that his siblings will hate him. 

i’m so sorry this was so long and such an info dump! i’m open to any connections and potential plots for this hot garbage man. my dms are always open!!

[nathanism]

[nathanism]

[nathanism]

[nathanism]

tag dump 

( growing older and older ;; visage )

( it was something far too good to feel ;; headcanon )

( i keep looking for something even though i know that it's not there ;; musings )

( your obsession with rocks and brown and fucking the whole town is a reflection on your mental health ;; aesthetics )

( these moments are oh so fleeting ;; interactions )

( the moment was nice while it lasted ;; para )

( ive been tryna call ;; texts )

( is nostalgia a cruel joke ;; answered )

( out reading ;; task )

( out socializing ;; event )

( oh we’re sitting over the horizon ;; aleksander )

( call me in the morning and tell me how last night went ;; cassandra )

( we sat there smoking cigarettes at five in the morning ;; andrei )

( and then i learned the truth how everything good in life seems to lead back to you ;; mina )