nataliipham

[nataliipham]

What are you Thankful for?

I’m thankful for a new life in Christ Jesus.

I am thankful that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.

I am thankful for God’s forgiveness and His unfailing love for me.

I am thankful that I am saved by grace alone and not by my work.

I am thankful for God’s provision.

I am thankful for my husband and my two daughters and my extended family.

I am thankful for the difficult circumstances because they brought me closer to God.

I am thankful for a supporting church community as well as the sisters that God brought to my life.

I am thankful for Jesus because He won victoriously and He mended my broken relationship with God.

I am thankful because of John 3:16.

#thankful2019

[nataliipham]

Have you ever ... feel guity haging out with one kid over the other?

I have and I’m sure if you have more than one kid, you probably had this feeling when you first brought home a newborn and witnessed a toddler’s reaction. Angela cried when she saw me holding Trinity for the first time at our house. With her little brain, she recognized that she was no longer the only “baby” in the house, somehow she just knew that love has to be shared. Angela was very clingy weeks before Trinity was born. I’m sure she sensed that her little sis was coming and she wanted all of mommy’s attention. I used to feel really bad because my family would lock the door so Trinity and I could stay in the room to nap while Angela stayed outside. Angela would cry and bang on the door. I think she felt abandoned. As time goes by, Angela got used to Trinity’s presence and things got a lot better. I still spend a lot of time with Trinity because she needs a lot of care. For a period of time especially when we had to stay in the hospital with Trinity, I felt really bad for Angela because I felt that I didn’t take good care of her. When I looked at her fingers with all the cuticles with some bleeding, I wanted to cry. Even to this day, I don’t have a lot of time with the toddler so I try my best to spend more time with her on Saturday. Thanks to my mother-in-law and husband, this wish of mine is possible for most Saturday. I hope and pray that Trinity will get better so we can take her out as a family :)

[nataliipham]

A Miracle to Document!

More than a week ago, Trinity had a surgery where her ENT doctor was trying to open up her airway in hope that the procedure will improve her sleep apnea and avoid the placement of a trach tube. I was praying, hoping, and preparing for the worse. The worse here is the trach tube placement because it is a life-changing procedure. It will probably allow Trinity to take in 100% oxygen when she sleeps but of course there are other caveats that come with it such as caring will require some work, using antibiotics if she gets a cold to prevent the growth of bacteria, the inability to hear her voice, and other therapies may be impeded. With this surgery, I have asked my church’s prayer team as well as the mommy’s group to pray for Trinity and God answered our prayer in a miracle way. According to Trinity’s doctor, there was only a small chance for him to be able to open up her airway. Yet, he was able to do it and the sleep study that followed after showed no sleep apnea 😊 All praise to God. He is good to my family and He is sovereign.

[nataliipham]

Trinity’s Journey

My second daughter will be seven months tomorrow. About six months ago, my husband and I found out that she has a genetic disorder. There are several names for this disorder: cru-di-chat or 5p-deletion. Basically, part of her chromosome 5 is missing. It is a rare disorder and usually only happens by chance. When I first heard the news, I reacted calmly because I didn’t even know what was going on. After talking to the genetic doctor for a while, I started crying like a baby because it finally hit me. Words like she has a hard time eating because it is posibly controled by her brain or she will have developmental delays and intelligent disability are like lightning that strikes my head. At that time, all I worried about was intelligent disability because I taught kids with intelligent disability before and sometimes they had a hard time with simple math. With Vietnamese culture, being successful at school is very important so I was shocked knowing that my baby will not be able to learn. Trinity ended up getting a G-tube after 3 weeks in the children hospital. A G-tube is a tube that carries food straight to the stomach. With the G-tube, it would allow Trinity to safely take in milk without milk goes in her lungs. The time right after she got the G-tube, it was very difficult seeing her in pain and witnessing her choking and vomitting. After seeing her struggle with life, all I prayed for was God would protect her lungs from pneumonia. Intelligent disability was no longer a concern. Trinity just had a surgery yesterday and she is currently in recovery mood. There were three possibilities for yesterday surgery and doctor was able to perform the first option, which was one that we prayed for and God answered our prayer. Although there is still possibility of another surgery, we are still thankful and hope for the best. There was a posibility of having a trach tube for yesterday surgery. It was option number 3. With a trach tube, doctor would have to poke a hole on Trinity’s throat and place the tube there. The night before the surgery, I was praying that God would take it away but His will would be done. I was reminded of Jesus praying the same prayer before He went up on the cross. He didn’t want to be separated from God but He prayed for God’s will to be done because Jesus saw the joy that is ahead. The joy of saving us sinners and to reconcile our relationship with God. I tried to be optimistic and thought that if Trinity ended up having a trach, the pain would be temporary and the benefit would be ahead. Praise God for allowing Trinity’s doctor to do the minimum posible to eliminate the bigger surgery. The two devotions before the surgery day really spoke to me. One was about lean not on my own understanding but trust in the Lord in all things (Proberbs 3:5-6). I almost cried when I read this verse because God was telling me to let go and submit to Him, which was what I needed most. I was too tired to hang on to myself. Also, there are things I wouldn’t understand and only God would. In addition, He knows what’s best for Trinity and He loves her more than I do. The second devotion was from II Timothy 1:7 where it says that God does not gives us the spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control. Once again, I teared up while reading this verse because I felt love from God. He reminds me to be strong for my daughter. Coincidentally, my professor used this same verse to encourage me at the beginning of my first pregnancy when I was bleeding and had pain. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit to remind me of how much I am loved by God. I’m thankful that Jesus understands what I’m going through. I’m thankful that God provides me with a supporting church community that consists of members that constantly pray for Trinity 😊