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The Dream (The Bed)

Frida Kahlo

1940

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frida kahlo, the love embrace of the universe, the earth (mexico), myself, diego, and señor xolotl, (1949)

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Photos from the Official Website.

The profile of the band has been updated.

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I haven’t been active for quite a while, but I drew this today in memory of atsushi sakurai who sadly passed a year ago today.

Visual kei has become such a huge part of my life, it’s let me experience so many new things, both in the world and with myself, and helped me meet so many fantastic people. Buck tick was one of the first visual kei bands I ever listened to, I was instantly hooked on the scene when I heard “my funny valentine”, acchans talent was like nothing else I had heard, it was a total breath of fresh air for music with me. Without buck tick and acchan, I wouldn’t be who I am today, as sappy as that sounds. Though we all miss him terribly, there’s beauty in the fact that he was here at all, and that he left such a legacy behind, for the band and fans, past, present and future.

thank you for all you gave us, rest easy. ❤️

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Arigato Sakurai-san for leading me to my own music journey.

It has been a long time since Atsushi Sakurai, my all time favourite artist, left this earthly plane. He has been my muse for 10 years. He still is and will be. I think I will never be able to fully grasp that he’s gone. My inability to listen to BUCK-TICK’s songs to this day is the only painful reminder that something has irreversibly changed. My life turned upside down drastically few weeks after the October 19th. Long story short, I had to move out and soon I met someone with whom we created a new music project. I started singing, writing lyrics and scripts, drawing storyboards, editing and directing music videos. Getting such chance to make use of my almost forgotten talents is definitely a blessing but also a curse at the same time. This wild ride is full of creative expansion and painful but transformational relationship experiences.

I don’t know what will happen. Will we be able to make our songs known to the public or will we be forgotten? But now I understand why Buck-Tick and especially Atsushi's way of expressing music through emotional singing, gestures and poetic lyrics became a part of my own artistic journey.

Hey Acchan, if you can hear me, I just want to say, thank you for preparing me for discovering my purpose and for being my endless source of inspiration. I'm deeply grateful for everything I learnt from you about creative expression.

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...The moon bursting in tears, ahh...

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Day 6 - Song you feel identify with

I could write lots of paragraphs about how meaningful songs are for me… but this time Kodou is the one.

Kodou became a very personal song, it is one of my favourites for sure. For some reason, it gives me peace of mind, beyond that I think Sakurai’s lyricism stands out in this album, it reveals his human sensibility and his ability to shape the invisible.

Since I was a kid, I had the feeling that life is a virtual thing, sort of a dream I had to wake up someday. This has been a recurring thought during my entire life, even in adulthood. Personally, I perceive that the theme of the song is about finding meaning, trying to figure out why we have this physical form and feel this way, even though we will never really know and will live in uncertainty forever.

“I don’t know why I’m living, but even so I want it so badly

I think I want to live, if you’ll love me.”

Despite not understanding life, there is a passionate desire to want to continue here, to be someone and to be loved in order to exist and finally to give meaning to our actions. We seek love, we are moved by love (all kinds of love)… and it is beautiful at the end because it is not a superficial emotion, it exposes how fragile we are.  

I tend to daydream and escape from reality too often, so another message I get from Kodou is to live the present, to stay grounded.

Well, I could add other songs, such as: 

Kingdom Come -moon rise-

Solaris

Tight Rope

唄

見えない物を見ようとする　誤解　全て誤解だ

And a similar theme will be orbiting around, but this one is special. 

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Thinking about how we mourn artists we’ve never met. We don’t cry because we knew them, we cry because they helped us know ourselves.

ElusiveJ  (via cumberbuddy)

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I'd never felt so connected to an artist like this before. I felt moved by his lyrics, as if they were talking directly to my soul. I have said it before, but Sakurai and B-T are home to me, they make me feel understood and safe.

Little by little reading the interviews, I began to know his context, ideas, where he came and it resonated in me much more, "knowing" his thoughts gave more weight and significance to his words.

I have to say that sometimes I related to his darkness and loneliness, he turned the obscure feelings into something haunting. The beauty in darkness, the beauty of being alive despite all the uncertainties and pain. I admire his courage and how he fought his demons. He accepted the odds and tried to enjoy life.

"I don't know why I'm living, but even so I want it so badly"

Even I find it silly and beautiful to share the same birth day with you.

My dear Acchan, you were loved. I wish you could see it, how incredible you were. You were full of love too, your music did a lot for me, it came at the precise moment. Your story helped me to heal some wounds and to accept parts of myself.

I love you and I'll love you forever. I'll never get tired of saying it. Hope you've received tones of colorful and exotic flowers.

"Although nameless, I got to meet you Even nameless, I met butterflies, felt the wind, had dreams..."

Can't thank you enough.

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Buck-Tick moments that kill me

Abracadabra Live on the Net, 2020

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It fills my heart to see how everyone refers to him with warmth, admiration, kindness and respect.

One of the things I really admire of him was his moments of wisdom, he had interesting thoughts and worldviews, you could learn so much from/of him and life through the interviews. Reading him felt very familiar and it was so rare to have similar ways of thinking/feelings, i appreciate that very much. You could see his qualities and humanity, he was genuine and didn't hide his flaws. He was full of love, he gave us all always. He loved life and loved love, even in his "darkest" lyrics and records, he was moved by it.

More than 36 years giving everything. Thanks for the tenderness, erotism, androgynous vibes, cuteness. Keep dreaming.

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BUCK-TICK TOUR THE BEST 35th anniv. FINALO in Budokan 2022.12.29

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Next, I’d like to ask about the word “dream”. Sakurai-san has also sung about all types of dreams in in the past, but it’s rare that you would pen a phrase like, “chasing things like dreams (夢なんて追いかけて/yume nante oikakete)”.

S: Right, we started the band together but for some reason, I myself didn’t really have any goals. I was going along without specific goals like knowing what we wanted to become, or wanting to perform at a particular venue. Just happy to be able to transiently enjoy each day, firing up the audience even with shitty performances. There was a negligent and carefree part of me that didn’t care about the future as long as I could spend another night like that. I guess I genuinely thought having fun playing music in a band like that was enough. Except, I gradually started to wonder, “So, what am I going to do next?”…… I guess you could say that I finally woke up from a dream (lol).

――Hahahaha.

S: I just suddenly started to wonder, “So what do I want to do?” You know? I thought, if my first phase was me voicing my desire to be a vocalist then I have to move on to the second phase. And that’s my personal desire when it comes to our releases. That kept on sprouting and growing. And I guess I just couldn’t convince myself with the surface-level thing anymore. Wondering, “What should I myself sing about going forward?” That’s when I felt like I finally woke up from my dream.

――Right now, does Sakurai-san have a dream of your own?

S: Huh?...... Perhaps a peaceful retirement.

――Hahahahaha!　Will that lifestyle involve band activities?

S: Ah, well, perhaps within the realm of “Oh, the weather looks good today, shall we give it a go?” as an elderly man.

――Depending on the weather!

S: Hahahahah. Saying things like, “My leg hurts.’ (Lol) This isn’t something that would make headlines, but I would like to attain happiness as a person.

――Yes. One more thing I would like to bring up is the imagery of “flowers” that come up in the songs Na mo Naki Watashi (I, Nameless), Ai no Harem (Harem of Love), and Campanella  Hanataba wo Kimi ni (Campanella  A Bouquet For You). It’s something that appears to symbolise life and peace, and also love.

S: Yes. I, as a man who’s over 50 years of age, actually like flowers a lot.

Translation by: jrockarchiv.es Full interview