nastyfunkydancer-blog

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THE BLIND SPOT AND MISSED SEXUAL ADVENTURES

I have a “gift”  Im blessed with the uncanny  ability of discernment. Don’t misunderstand Im not in any way referring to anything supernatural. It is extraordinary. (Ordinary with extra). Sometimes a single moment of eye contact is all I require, but usually by the end of a conversation. I have an uncanny awareness about the person I have been in conversation or made eye contact with.  I have…

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THE NORTHERN SOUL SCENE IN 30 YRS

Rare Soul in 30 years -The Northern Soul Fans Future – approx. thirty years from now . A future scenario.   You have been placed in the local nursing home by your loving family. They had to sell the house (your home) to fund the nursing home fees. Most of what you need is supplied or taken care of by the human like androids. Although there are a few human nurses that oversee all the work.   Your…

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HAVING A NIGHT IN WITH FISH & CHIPS

  One Saturday night the Mrs and I decided to have a night in for a change.  We were both tired from the Clifton Hall all-nighter the night before and there was no Peterborough Saturday Nighter.   We had previously purchased some cans of beer; and were going to watch the television.  It was suggested that we have fish and chip’s for tea and gave me a £20 note and  it was further suggested that  I…

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THE WETTEST MAN IN THE WORLD

The Wettest Man In The World 1978 Spring Bank holiday weekend a number of the lads from the local pub  The Two Palfrey’s decided to spend the weekend in Skegness.  A local seaside resort  Bob, Tony, Grav, Mick, Dennis and I arrived in Skegness early Friday evening.   We booked into a nice hotel; The Grosvenor House Hotel on the sea front opposite the pier.   After getting changed into our best…

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Protecting the weekend from girlfriends

  PROTECTING THE WEEKEND FROM GIRLFRIENDS   Aged 19 I was a very cocky twat, I had a good job at the pit as an apprentice, a regular girlfriend “Debra” ( her name is not really Debra, as I want to protect her identity. It actually took me ages to decide on a name, I almost went with Gertrude)   I would see Debbie  Monday to Thursday, but  the weekends were my time with the lads.  ( Debbie is the…

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MY RUN IN WITH THE LAW.

MY RUN IN WITH THE LAW.   TRUE STORY   I have the highest respect and regard for the police. That said, sometimes the individual in the uniform is not worthy of respect, they use and abuse their authority, and in their manner and attitude they disrespect what the uniform represents. I witnessed this many times during the year long miners strike. I know they have at times a difficult job to do ,…

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Naked Dave Is So Childish

Sometimes Naked Dave is so childish.   We were having a chat (he came to see if I was ok after today;s incident on Rare Soul Talk)   I assured him, that I may have girl feet, but Im actually a big boy.   He then offered to make me a cuppa- he was gone ages   He was actually silently sneaking back into the room where I was.   And then he farted in my face-   that was about tem mins ago – he is…

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IM LIVING IN A FREEKIN COMEDY SHOW

Have I got the off freekin scale story to tell you , what happened on my way home from work has defo confirmed im living in some type of comedy show with the theme. “taking the piss out of steve sayles and winding the twat up” If I had not been the victim in last nights pantomime of happenstance and circumstance, I would not have believed such a thing could happen as a result of so many unrelated…

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BBC COME DANCING NORTHERN SOUL

BBC STRCTLY COME DANCING NORTHERN SOUL for those that may have bonnet containing a bee – this post is about the influence and roots of “the comeback scene on the northern soul scene- it is not about the roots of northern soul This is a direct result of the CBI – ( come-back Influence) about ten years ago the northern soul scene experienced a massive revival due to the “come backs” those that were…

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THE TWO SECRETS ABOUT GIRLS

Aged six years old two events occurred in my life – they were both revelatory and life changing . But at such a young age I did not have the knowledge required to fully understand what I thought I understood . The first event was a little scary, the second event almost caused a case of widespread mass hysteria. Susan Coolak was in the same class as myself. She lived a few doors away . Our parents…

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The splinter in my hand is annoying me. I have had a freekin splinter in my hand all day – but my eyesight is that poor. I cant see where it actually is

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Seeing a cat for the first time and the mass hysteria that followed

via Daily Prompt: Honk   Well what can I say , last night’s parody almost descended into a histrionic caricature version of reality.   But on the upside, a question I have been seeking an answer for all of my life. Ever since I discovered the two secrets about girls. My lifelong question has finally been answered.   And to my relief, I now know for sure that I’m not insane. ( tis wise to doubt…

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Droll and Ludicrous is the thinks of a lady of a certain age

via Daily Prompt: Droll To the lady of a certain age , in response to your public rebuke concerning the private sleeping arrangements of My Mirtle and myself. You rebuked us because we “share” a bed. My goodness the penny has just dropped – I have only just realised your disgusting assertion. Im in a torrent of emotional reactions .they cascade and range from , mortification , horror shock,…

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"Naked Dave you twat - move the pasting board- its not funny"

“Naked Dave you twat – move the pasting board- its not funny”

Cant freekin believe what happened last night –   I had been on afters – got home about 9 – My Mirtle was tired after a day hanging wall paper in the dining room. After the England match she went to bed and I went downstairs into the funky music room . I telephoned Naked Dave to ask if he wanted to come round and have a chat and listen to some fine funky tunes. He said he would call on Thur as he…

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Chocolate-covered raisin scam (and a hint of muckiness)

Chocolate-covered raisin scam (and a hint of muckiness)

So I have uncovered another “scam” and conspiracy , that can catch out the unaware consumer. And there could be something mucky involved too.   Im a tad partial to chocolate covered raisins .Yesterday my Mirtle asked if I wanted anything from the shop – I asked for chocolate. My Mirtle knows Im a tad partial to the afore mentioned treat. But unlike myself her conspiracy awareness is not as finely…

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Big Syringe Wednesday - pt 1

Big Syringe Wednesday – pt 1

Concerning being nice and pain in the ears It is all about my poorly ear   Friday 13 th Oct I went to my GPs. The GP visit was a waste of time. The Nurse said “ I can not tell if there is an infection, for your ear blocked with wax”   I suggested syringing them . I was informed that it is something no longer done ( I had them done regular when I worked down the pit) The Dr said to soften the wax…

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Another Conspiracy Uncovered

They must think I would not notice- But I have and I shall seek some answers. I will get to the bottom of this matter. The technology used and the motive behind it all.   Oh sorry I forgot to tell you what Im on about.This is happening regular of late (forgetting things) I seem to be forgetting things (My brain is being grumpy with me and is deliberately not doing its job) Yesterday I forgot my…