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The moment we will have a civilization on mars companies are going to sell oxygen and make it as expensive as insulin
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A snooze button was the most counterproductive addition to a productive product.
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Your clothes only get caught on door handles when you’re in a bad mood
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Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your ipod.
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“Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”
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If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night
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how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way
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