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[narveywarrior]

Next To Me

Pairing : Harvey Kinkle x Reader

Summery : Harvey is having a hard hard time with panic attack and you help him out.

Warning : panic attack, mention of killing, kinda angst? but with a fluffy ending

Word Count : 824

Note : This is my first ever posting fiction on tumblr and I really hope you like it even though my writing is not-so-good. Enjoy :)

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To say you were worried would be an understatement. You were beyond that. Suddenly you decided to check the rooftop before calling his friends.

You and Harvey have been married for two years now and you have never been happier. He was an amazing husband and your best friend.

Today you had to work late because you had to cover your colleague’s shift as well. But when you came home, there was no sign of him. You knew Harvey would’ve come home before you and you were positive about the fact. But the lack of him made you really scared, as mentioned before.

When you reached the rooftop, you found Harvey there and you let out a sigh out of satisfaction that you didn’t know you were holding for so long. But the scene before you broke you even more. There you saw Harvey curled up in a corner, crying. He seemed to be sobbing at some point too. His whole body was shaking and he looked so scared and so broke.

Silently you went to him and sat beside him. You put your hand on his back and he looked at you. His eyes were blood red and puffy. It’s like he had been crying for hours. He looked at you as if his soul had left his body and he was all alone and you were the only solution to his breakdown. His panic attack.

Then it hit you. Today was the day when he had to ‘kill’ his older brother, by shooting him. Since then, he had been blaming himself for the mess. He thought that if he tried a little more rather than waiting for his medical treatment, he could’ve gone inside the mine and saved his brother from the mess unlike his cruel father. After Tommy’s death, his father started to drink more and few years later his father, Mr. Kinkle, died too.

He had been alone since. Then you came into his life and made his life colorful again. He had never felt so loved and appreciated more. Yes, his friends were there for him too but you had introduced him to a whole new world. But the only thing you couldn’t free him from was his anxiety and panic attack. Every year, specially on this very day, the whole scenario would hit him and he would break down but you never left his side because you knew what it’s like to lose a family but your situation never matched his. But still you would find a way to calm him down.

‘Hey, shh. Everything is good. Honey, shh. Please.’

‘Y/N. I-I can’t. I’m-I’m a monster. I killed my ow-‘

‘No no no. Don’t say that. You did what had to be done. After the mine situation, he wasn’t Tommy. Sure there was his body but his soul wasn’t there. Sabrina said that too.’

‘But I shouldn’t have chickened out. I should’ve gone there in the mine to save Tommy instead of waiting for my medical treatment. I-‘

‘Harvey. Harvey if you didn’t get any medical treatment, you wouldn’t have been there with me now, okay? Honey, I know it’s hard letting go of such a bitter past but you have to let that go. Please. It’s for your own good. I’m here, okay? I will always be here for you, always and I promise you that. Please, don’t be too hard on yourself. It was an accident and there was no other way..’

‘Y/N. Every time I break down, I find you there next to me. You know how much of a mess I am but I still find you there next to me. I don’t deserve you. You’re too good to me.’

‘Harvey, shh. I love you, okay? And don’t you dare say that you don’t deserve me. We’re us. We’ve always got each other’s back right? Now let’s get inside because it’s getting cold out there. We don’t wanna spend our weekend being sick, now do we?’

He didn’t say anything, he just chuckled instead.

‘You need a good night sleep, honey. Let’s go.’

You took his hand went to the door to leave the rooftop. But then he suddenly spun you around and gave you a kiss which was rather soft and full of love and sincerity.

When the kiss ended, you chuckled and asked him. What was that for?’

He just smiled and said, ‘Thank you. For everything.’

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