narutotfln

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Ino: You fucked him, didn’t you?

Sakura: He showed up at my house with tacos, rum, and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret freaking Thatcher!

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8-year-old Inojin: I need more time to make my Christmas list.

Ino: You already gave me your Christmas list?

Inojin: That was just the first page.

Ino: It's a multi-volume work??

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4-year-old Sarada: Look what I'm doing!

Sasuke : What are you doing?

Sarada: Being cute.

Sakura: Oh no! She's becoming self-aware.

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7-year-old Boruto: Happy birthday! How old are you?

Naruto: .....

Boruto: Well?

Naruto: Hold on. I'm doing math.

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Interviewer: What did you bring to the table?

Naruto: Well at my last job I brought a lot of enthusia-

Interviewer: NO what did you just put on my desk

Naruto: Oh you mean my toad.

🐸

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5-year-old Sarada: Want to watch me do a new justu?

Sasuke: Who taught you a new justu?

Sarada: No one. Girls just know.

Sasuke: ?????

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Sasuke: Bro I banged Sakura last night on our basement couch.

Itachi: I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity!" They gave you a standing ovation.

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Ino: Why did I make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

Sakura: You tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didn't make those you tried to summon ANBU.

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Sasuke: Act your age.

Naruto: I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.

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Sasuke: Instead of texting me to come over, Sakura just sends me a batman symbol.

Naruto: I don't care if you think she's just a booty call. Marry her.

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Ino: Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.

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Naruto: (To Sakura) Good news, I've got tacos! Bad news, Sasuke's in the ER. More good news, the tacos were free!

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Sakura: Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.

Ino: Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam

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Sasuke: *texting* Real quick, what's our antique sword budget?

Sakura: Don't.

Sasuke: Is that more or less than $678.99?

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Tsunade: Why don't you trust me?

Shizune: You almost came home with another pig today.

Tsunade: ALMOST.

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Naruto: Where the fuck is Kiba, he hasn't answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

Shikamaru: Dude Kiba died 2 weeks ago wtf?

Naruto: Holy shit r u serious? How?

Shikamaru: Just kidding, but I'm pretty sure he boned Hinata and doesn't want to talk to you.