my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone. i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner
Blackwall: I don’t understand why you’re acting like that. Eggs are a part of a healthy diet.
Cole: Shiny and soft. Bold and glabrous. Ears pointed out toward the past as his lips linger in the future. His warm flesh tingles as my hands graze his round head…
me: sign me the FUCK up 🍳👀👌👀🍳👀👌👀🍳👀 good egg go౦ԁ eGg👌 thats ✔ some good🍳👌egg right👌👌th 👌 ere👌🐣👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 🍳🐣 i say so 🐣 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ🍳👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 🍳🐣👌 👀 👀 👀 🐣👌Good egg
I was walking around my neighborhood and saw a bunch of police surrounding a small house for a drug bust. As I got closer, I heard the policemen barking aggressively, so naturally I was like, wtf??? And one of them caught my eye and said, “Oh, we’re trying to scare them out of there,” and minutes later a bunch of furries came out the house whimpering and shit.