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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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It's not rearching for attention, it's a cry for help. Wanting to kill yourself means that you have more pain than happiness in your life, and I'm really sorry to hear that you have so much pain within you. I don't know all of your story, and I could never assume how you feel, but I can tell you that things always get better. That is a given, always. Doing your muse justice isn't about being the textbook definition of something. Being canon is a very difficult thing, and the ONLY people who can truly be the 100% canon variant of someone is the person who originally created the muse in the first place. If you have followers, chances are they LIKE your content! They LIKE what you're doing with your muse and enjoy it. A lot of people make their muses a certain way, but RPing is supposed to be fun anyhow! It's supposed to tell a story that you and your partner or partners enjoy, and that's really what truly matters in RPing. Please consider getting professional help, because from what it sounds like it really doesn't sound like you have gotten on any sort of medication or talked to any professionals... if you're depressed, there's medicine that's supposed to stabilize how you feel and give you more ground to love yourself even if it's a battle to do so. It's not a stupid dream. Sorry to be insertive, but I truly do understand how you feel. I want to be a professional Dawngate player, and it feels the exact same way for me. "What's the point of trying when there's so many other people out there who are already better? Who already have it made?" The point is to continue trying, because escaping from Silver IS possible. All that matters is dedication and practice. Yes, it may seem slow, and there will be times where you still feel like that, but I don't believe you're shitty at League. People who are shitty at League rage at their team and make their team feel bad. If you don't do that sort of thing, at least in my eyes, I already see you as a proficient person because you don't focus on bringing toxic to the team which is so important in any rank. I'm so sorry that your life by comparison looks awful... but I believe you're a great person. You're a great person who's been weighed down with a lot of bad feelings they never deserved, and if they make you feel that way or they don't pay much attention then you, then I'm really sorry they act that way or don't give you the time you deserve as a person. That's wrong, and everyone should make an effort to keep up with their friends as best they can. Please don't kill yourself, and please give this time. There's people who care about you whether they be behind the scenes, or up and forward. It may not be exactly what you wish right now, and I don't want to make things harder for you, but trying is the only way to get out of this. Killing yourself is not worth it. I am currently unmedicated, and have bipolar disorder. There have been so many points over this summer where I wanted to kill myself but I was so, so glad I didn't. I almost ruined a lot of things for me that I now have to fight double time to make happen. You never know what could happen between the next time you feel that way. A few more days, a few more weeks... just having any small reason to keep push forward makes so much difference. And if you can't see it? Take it day by day. Live in the current until you can handle anything in the future.
Your dreams ARE NOT impossible. Dreams are there to be captured, made real! This is why humans dream, because they want to make it a reality! Don't let your dream break you, let it fuel you to do even more. If nobody tends to notice you, make yourself noticed-- make people look like complete fools for not noticing you in the first place, but don't do it by ending it all. Do it by progressing and even outshining them, because every human is different, has different qualities, and no matter HOW many mistakes we've all made, we get back up and keep trying because anything in this world is possible, and so is your recovery. You're important, please don't leave. Stay and recover, and I promise you'll see the good that comes out of it as well.
So i’m deleting this blog in 3 days.
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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This had to be the location. It was where the fates told him she would be at, and he didn’t bother to bring Raina. This was between the two of them. All this time and searching and meticulous planning would lead up to the one moment where he would finally start speaking with Kindra, herself. After muttering the Vesper’s name…  he took a short whiff of the air. His nostrils weren’t mistaken. It was definitely her. The smell… had to have been of lilac and lavender. Though, why this particular smell…?
“I agree, it’s been quite some time since we’ve last seen each other. Outside of the Heart of the World, for exactness.”
The Loremaster’s fear was starting to cripple his resolve as she traced the hands down his thin chest, her strangely smooth fingers seeming to nullify any feeling of fabric being there. Zalgus gulped silently, heart racing. The knowledge that he wasn’t one-hundred percent safe was blaring in his mind, and if he proved to be boring to her… well, no explanation would be required for that. His eyes serious and even somewhat caustic, he started to speak.
"For what does that matter to you, Kindra? If the first thing you ask upon us finally being able to see each other pertains to that, then I suppose I have a rebuttal of my own. Are you, perhaps, insistent on fluttering about the coat-tails of Warlord Fenmore?"
Kindra...
The scent of a cloying-yet-elegant perfume puffed from behind the tall redheaded shaper as Kindra prowled into the room. She had heard her childhood acquaintance had been in touch with her new employer, that warlord with the firm jawline and the face like a brick covered in skin, and predictably enough, here he was.
Kindra stalked leisurely around Zalgus from behind, shaking her hair. "Hello there, dear old darling… how do you do, it feels as if its been ages since last we met…” Her hands traced over his shoulder, down his chest- still as thin and stick-like under the fanciful robes as he had been in his youth. 
"Still fluttering about the skirs of Her Wisdom, are you, or have you found a new rich hag to moon over?"
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Also, good morning everybody~ hope everyone has good days on the rift or in the Dawngate. Just woke up and feeling hype about the day 0 u 0 ))
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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o: But wha about League of Dawngate or Dawngate of Legends? ))
New Tag
'#The Dawngate Opens' will now represent the crossovers of Lol and DG.
So it has been said.
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
http://bad-dragon.com//
Take your pick…
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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"I beg your pardon? It's more than simple importance. I belong to the aristocracy. Nobility is the privledge of being higher than the plebians of society, to guide them, the working class. It's on a bit of a greater scale than you seem to make it out to be. I'm not sure what realms you've been visiting to make our language so "common..."
The apparent look of disinterest on his face while talking seemed to just slightly perk upon hearing that he was a Librarian. It was possible that he was a shaper who just didn't know what the spirits were. Another Librarian... someone who enjoys good literature, likely the same as his own. Listening to his explaination was only a tad confusing, but spells such as that didnt sound all that simple. He must have been practiced at it to say such a thing. ...Lapine halflings? Where in the spirit's name did Galli come from?  Getting a bit annoyed and tapping his foot lightly, he crossed his arms and noticed Galli's tail swishing. What gave him the right to act so nonchalantly?! Appearing in the house of a noble and then acting that way? Not a chance. Zalgus only had two cheeks to turn at that sort of behavior, and he wasn't standing for that.
"I'm moreso a scholar than a mage, if anything. I just happened upon a Grimoire one fateful day and was able to use the spells I'd seen. Oh, and I'd certainly say for you to not get too comfortable here. Your presense is starting to become rather insulting to my countenance, if you comprehend my meaning."
"How unconventional..." came a voice from behind the loremaster. "Perhaps I'm finally home this time? But alak I can only dream." The sound of a great groaning of metal and cracking of glass came from further behind the voice before silence fell over the room. A blank, eerie empty silence in the vast plain around Zalgus before the voice called out softly again. "At least perhaps this time, there are less hostile beings. Perhaps if I am lucky." The blue and white robed owner of the voice, lost.
Zalgus had been thinking about what he was going to be doing for the day… staring into a large mirror that was in his room and going over his outfit a final time, ready to begin another painfully long day. He figured at some point or another he’d find himself engaging in boorish combat on the battlefields within the Heart of the World. Luckily, he’d gotten dressed and his hair properly fixed. As he adjusted his glasses, he suddenly heard the voice. Quickly, he turned around to find who or what possibly was likely to assail him in his own abode.
Of all the possible things that could have happened today, someone was in the room with him? Although, how? Many questions that tried to answer themself buzzed around in his mind as he tried to stay calm. The voice didn’t sound familiar, and on top of that— it meant someone made their way into his room without being known. Doing his best to maintain a calm composure, he tried to analyze what was going on, speaking.
"Dare I ask who this is, and why they have decided it proper to trespass into the Tallund household— going so far as to enter my own room unannounced?"
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Nononono it's okay, but at this rate they may end up rivals or something. Am I going to have to bust out homestuck quadrants here. A Librarian with quite possibly more knowledge than him-- either he's gonna grow to love him or get really petty like he does with Raina. :P
Galli has not only gotten dirt on Zalgus, he’s gotten him flustered and upset. Dangit Galli, this isn’t supposed to happen he’s only met them in AU canon twice /loud flustered zalgus noises
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Galli has not only gotten dirt on Zalgus, he's gotten him flustered and upset. Dangit Galli, this isn't supposed to happen he's only met them in AU canon twice /loud flustered zalgus noises
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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"Excuse me?"
(71. Doing something they’d rather die than let anyone find out)
Zalgus was sitting on a nice looking and cushioned white chair, outside of his home in the patio area. There was a white table where he decided to lounge at, wanting to find silence and a place to hide for his bad habit. His mother did like the fancier things, and the fresh air and smell of flowers tended to put him into a serene mood… although sometimes it was enjoyable to be by one’s self, with a good book in tow. Today, he’d decided upon a particlar graphic novel with transforming females… it seemed to a silly and generic story adhering somewhat to romance and silliness with the occasional battle that could leave one feeling strongly.
Yet… even the fast-paced graphic novel he was reading couldn’t seem to take his mind off of Queen Sereyn. Glancing about to ensure that none were around, he started mumbling to himself upon noticing he was at a certain part, sighing in exasperation as he said something that he wouldn’t dare say to another, possibly not even to Sereyn herself.
"Ah, Sereyn… what I would give to embrace you in such a way as this female embraces her own romantic companion…
The Loremaster placed the book down and put an arm on the table so a hand could support his face, eyes lazily glancing over the area again as he seemed to drone on in his speech.
…We were destined to be together, if only you could understand and treat me as you do my dear sister… perhaps even fall for me as I’ve for you. The bards would sing of our love. Poets would write epics, and we could be so happy together—-“
Just then, in the middle of his reciting, he felt a presense. Turning around, he noticed Galli. After gazing upon his visage only once, he felt faint like he could pass out any moment. He wasn’t hallucinating either.
No. Oh, spirits no. How much did he hear, all of it?
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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The Loremaster looked pretty puzzled at what was going on, although it was quite possible that this person wasn’t going to pose any sort of threat. Scratch that, absolutely no threat. This situation was moving a bit quickly for him, and the next moment he felt his hands touched. Zalgus slightly flinched at the sudden touch, not used to people putting his hands on him unless they were to court him, and was ultimately relieved when the other hands left his own. The entirety of the situation had him staring in near disbelief, but he figured that he should know better by now. After what happened with him, and back at the Abbey with Raina, it seemed as if anything was possible these days.
"I am Zalgus Tallund. Lord Tallund, if you are familiar with noble titles… from what I just heard of being in worlds of horrors and whatnot, I’m not sure you do. I’ll go ahead and assume that what you just mentioned was  a form of teleporation. By no means would normal beings "Aport" into another’s home at random so I’d also assume you’re a shaper…"
"How unconventional..." came a voice from behind the loremaster. "Perhaps I'm finally home this time? But alak I can only dream." The sound of a great groaning of metal and cracking of glass came from further behind the voice before silence fell over the room. A blank, eerie empty silence in the vast plain around Zalgus before the voice called out softly again. "At least perhaps this time, there are less hostile beings. Perhaps if I am lucky." The blue and white robed owner of the voice, lost.
Zalgus had been thinking about what he was going to be doing for the day… staring into a large mirror that was in his room and going over his outfit a final time, ready to begin another painfully long day. He figured at some point or another he’d find himself engaging in boorish combat on the battlefields within the Heart of the World. Luckily, he’d gotten dressed and his hair properly fixed. As he adjusted his glasses, he suddenly heard the voice. Quickly, he turned around to find who or what possibly was likely to assail him in his own abode.
Of all the possible things that could have happened today, someone was in the room with him? Although, how? Many questions that tried to answer themself buzzed around in his mind as he tried to stay calm. The voice didn’t sound familiar, and on top of that— it meant someone made their way into his room without being known. Doing his best to maintain a calm composure, he tried to analyze what was going on, speaking.
"Dare I ask who this is, and why they have decided it proper to trespass into the Tallund household— going so far as to enter my own room unannounced?"
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Send me an “Excuse Me” and I’ll tell you my muse’s reaction to being Interrupted while…
Note:Uses a Number Generator
Numbers between 1-74
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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The refined and haughty shaper continued to stand there as if no words were ever spoken, briefly closing his book. It was about time he finally caught up to Fenmore... and he had many questions to ask. All of them pertaining to Kindra, and why she was... with him. Standing at what seemed to be exact height with the Alpha, Zalgus gazed at him and spoke with a tinge of snark, at least attempting to be cordial.
"Nonsense? Good sir, I only have a few inquiries. If you're as astute as I've heard, then I assume you know what my inquiries are about, hm?"
His last word was sharp and straight to the point, the vague hintation likely clear as day.
narcissistic-zalgus started following you
“I don’t have time for such nonsense. I suggest you depart.”
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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"How unconventional..." came a voice from behind the loremaster. "Perhaps I'm finally home this time? But alak I can only dream." The sound of a great groaning of metal and cracking of glass came from further behind the voice before silence fell over the room. A blank, eerie empty silence in the vast plain around Zalgus before the voice called out softly again. "At least perhaps this time, there are less hostile beings. Perhaps if I am lucky." The blue and white robed owner of the voice, lost.
Zalgus had been thinking about what he was going to be doing for the day… staring into a large mirror that was in his room and going over his outfit a final time, ready to begin another painfully long day. He figured at some point or another he’d find himself engaging in boorish combat on the battlefields within the Heart of the World. Luckily, he’d gotten dressed and his hair properly fixed. As he adjusted his glasses, he suddenly heard the voice. Quickly, he turned around to find who or what possibly was likely to assail him in his own abode.
Of all the possible things that could have happened today, someone was in the room with him? Although, how? Many questions that tried to answer themself buzzed around in his mind as he tried to stay calm. The voice didn’t sound familiar, and on top of that— it meant someone made their way into his room without being known. Doing his best to maintain a calm composure, he tried to analyze what was going on, speaking.
"Dare I ask who this is, and why they have decided it proper to trespass into the Tallund household— going so far as to enter my own room unannounced?"
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Reblog if you have tiny conversations in your tags during RP'S
I wanna see if I’m the only one…
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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"A-hem! May I have your attention? Yes, I'm speaking to you over there."
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Good, now I have your attention. Remember the post I said about making the archive?
Well, it's real and it's here.
Now, I know the community is only as broad as the RPers and the affiliates, so if you're affiliated as well, step on up! Don't be afraid to start talking, only some of us are mean (In character of course, OOC we won't hurt you.) If you're affiliated, reblog and send in a message. I can get to work on announcing any newcoming Dawngate Shaper RP blogs as well, (crack or canon.) so let's get this party started!
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narcissistic-zalgus · 10 years
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Dawngate is coming to Gamescom in Cologne, Germany on 8/13 – 8/17! Join us in Halle 6, where you can meet your favorite Waystone Games Developers and some familiar Community faces!
Dawngate will be taking center stage in the EA booth, so this is the perfect opportunity to build excitement and awareness of your favorite new MOBA. Because of this, we’ve created a way for everyone, not just Gamescom attendees, to take part in the festivities!
For those of you at home, every Dawngate player will have the opportunity to earn a special “evolving” Gamescom ward skin just by playing games. You can also join the show floor experience by tuning into our TwitchTV channel as we stream live, from the show floor, each day from 12:00 CET (3:00 AM PDT) to about 17:00 CET (8:00 AM PDT).
To those of you who are attending Gamescom- stop by and pay us a visit! If you play a game of Dawngate, you’ll get not only the Evolving ward skin, but you’ll also have a chance to score the brand-new Eidelon Nissa skin along with other awesome prizes!
Make sure to save the date for the first ever Dawngate Meet & Greet at “Sion am Ring” on 8/16 from 18:00 CET (9:00 AM PDT) to 21:00 CET (12:00 PM PDT) featuring special guests Strippin and Dodger. Come hang out and enjoy a Kölsch on us!
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