naotai

[naotai]

“So you tell that girl you like her yet kid” “Absolutely not, you want me to get rejected on a national holiday?” “What’s holding you back?” “Fear. Fear of getting rejected. Fear of it becoming awkward. Fear of just doing it.” “If you’re really serious about her, then you have to tell her. If you don’t say it, you’re just gonna sit there in pain suffocating your emotions until you become a feeble old man like me.” “What if she thinks I’m a creep.” “Why would she think you’re a creep for falling in love with her. Being attracted to someone doesn’t just mean you wanna stick it in them. It means you’re attracted to her brain, her heart, her personality, her little quirks, the way she makes you feel. I know it sounds cheesy but that’s why you like her clearly. It means you’ll like her even when she’s an ugly little raisin at the age of 70. When she smells like an old cupboard when you walk by her. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, you’ve got a good shot here kid.” “Yea, you’re right” He bent down to pick up some trash, and put it into the bin. “You have to face your fears and do it. If she doesn’t like you back then at least you can move on. If you do nothing, it’s gonna be like filling a balloon with air until it pops.” “Helium actually...” “Whatever” “Look maybe I have to just wait. Maybe it’s just not the right time to say it. There’s just so much going on, and I don’t know, it feels off to ask right now.” “It feels off to tell her on Valentine’s Day? There couldn’t be a more perfect day to do it. Stop worrying about timing, the right people are timeless. Now get outta here.” “What? My shift ends at 12, it’s only 10.” “And today is Valentine’s and I can’t let you mope around all day after picking up some garbage with an old man. Go tell her.” It was almost like those movie scenes where a spark of hope and passion would burn in him and he’d go for the girl. But he ended up staying and picking garbage for another 2 hours. Disappointing himself, he received a text. Her name popped up on the screen, and a little spark of joy hit him.”

[naotai]

Jeff didn’t have a fantastical imagination like Crystal. But he did love Harry Potter. He had a recurring dream of the city being swarmed by Dementors. But before they got to the muggles he woke up. Crystal was next to him on the bed.

“Did you cast your patronus this time Mr. Potter?” Jeff threw the pillow at her and stood up on the bed. “Expecto-patronum!” She gave out a snort and laughed.

[naotai]

He walked into the kitchen. She stood at the window waiting to pounce. Waiting to pierce him with her words. Her words were like knives. But dull ones. They didn’t really sink into his skin, but when they’d finally cut him, make an incision, it would hurt like hell. He knew he messed up. He cheated. He broke the most important thing in a relationship. Trust. Like a plate made of glass, he shattered the trust into fragments. And when she gave him a chance to fix things, he shattered those small pieces into even smaller pieces of glass. There’s a point where you can’t build back your trust in a relationship. It’s hard to mend those pieces back into a plate again, but it’s possible. But there’s also a point where it’s irreversible. When the glass is so broken it’s just little crumbs, and it’s not possible to fix it anymore. But he didn’t feel anything. He was already thinking about another plate. A brand new plate. It was easy for him, he was heartless. And kept moving on just like that, like it was nothing. He would just use love as a way to cope for his other problems. She began speaking. And before those dull blades could enter his skin, before she could say the hurtful things he needed to hear, he looked down at his phone. And he pressed the button. *MUTE* Suddenly the light that was cast on to her, and her face disappeared. You couldn’t see her features anymore, you couldn’t hear her anymore. She was muted. She Became nothing but a moving shadow. He left the house and began walking. Every once in a while he would see shadows walking the streets. Sitting at coffee shops. Buying groceries. Going to the gym...

[naotai]

“Where’s Frank going?” “I think he’s gonna open the portal” “Yea but what if we missed some spirits behind? They’d just demolish all the people on Granville” Ana knew Jeremy would say something like that. Although she felt the same way inside, there was no other choice but to leave. “You care too much about others, they’ll be fine. Our job is done, we have to move on now. Besides, I’m getting hungry.” “Hi hungry, I’m Jeremy 😃” She didn’t even smile the slightest. “I apologize for my behaviour” He turned around. Glancing at all the shops feeling as if he missed something. Frank kept walking ahead by himself. He looked at the soul gem in his hand. He stopped and took a deep breath, and turned around. Whispering to them even though they couldn’t hear him from that distance. “Sorry.” He dropped the gem and the portal opened on the floor. It happened in an instant. A quick flash and he was gone. They stood there in shock. That’s when they heard it. The ground began to tremble. Thfff, Thfff, Thfff. “I’m gonna turn Frank into a steak for Hiro once we’re done with this spirit” Jeremy looked up into the sky at the behemoth. “Let’s make sure we don’t become steaks first.” THFF THFF THFFFF. It obliterated through the orpheum theatre with its foot… 

[naotai]

She stood there by the window peering out like a cat observing the world. Drinking a freshly brewed chamomile tea with a drop of honey in it. This was her favourite part of the week. When she could come to her little spot and watch the city in absolute silence. No cars, no people. It was quiet, peaceful. Finally time for her thoughts. Time to let her mind wander. Think about the past. The future. Daydream about fake scenarios that brought her joy. Think about how she would spend the next morning. It was nice. Her life was hectic. She’d wake up, check her phone, rush to work, get off work, go do her errands, eat, listen to music, catch up on the news and her texts and go to bed, and repeat. Felt like a bunch of toxic fumes. Like she was heaving through corrupted lungs. But when she was by that window, she could finally breathe and put her mind at ease. Her answering machine went off. “You have 12 new messages. Friday, February 15th, 7:48 p—-“ She disconnected the wire from the phone before it could begin reading the first message and went back to the window. She felt so connected and intertwined with everything happening around her that sometimes it felt so good to just disconnect. To do absolutely nothing but mindlessly look at the view and think. 

[naotai]

“What do you think buddy, you think I’m over reacting” Buster barked and began peeing on the tree. The indiscreet sound of the urine hitting the bark filled the empty noise of the park. It was 6 am. Quinn found himself walking his dog early in the morning. His days were endless filled with meaningless hours of trivial tasks, and he’d use every excuse to leave the house to act somewhat productive, but never really accomplished anything important. He continued walking Buster in the morning fog. Contemplating what he would do with his life. An unemployed man, living alone. He had no clue what to do with himself. It seemed comical to him when he graduated high school that everyone assumed they knew what they’d be when they were grown. But it was no longer comical to him, it was scary now. It was always scary to him, but now it’s all he could think about. “Back to the drawing board buddy” He had a degree in psychology. He enjoyed video games, playing with buster and drank alcohol more than he should. Absolutely stumped he kept trudging along with Buster. Unlike him, Buster was brimming with joy, having an unemployed owner meant more quality him. He started to hear clicks. A shutter sound. Ticking in the distance. He turned around and looked at this suspicious person. A woman, stood their, aiming her camera directly at him. She scrunched up her face against the camera, looking through the viewfinder and clicked the shutter again. She smiled while looking at the photo, and began to walk away. He stood there indifferent about the situation, she was much too far to capture his face anyways. He gave out a sigh and continued walking. “I want what she has buddy, a passion.” 

[naotai]

Everything around him began disappearing. One by one things began to get sucked into the sky. You could see buildings and street poles slowly getting absorbed into the atmosphere like dust. He turned around, and looked for another person. He felt uneasy for a moment, until he saw the little laser pointing at the centre of his hoody. He looked up, into the distance, and before he could move a bullet pierced right through his forehead. A clean shot that knocked him back into the pole like a puppet. The blood splurged into the air, red meeting the orange cast of the city. He lay there dead, and emotionless. “You gotta be fucking kidding me!” He took off the VR set and got up. Steven walked into the room. “You better not be watching that nasty shit on my VR set again—“ “Someone killed me...” They both paused for a moment. Steven’s grin quickly faded away. “You died? What happened?” “I don’t know, I turned around and someone shot me in the head. “Fuck I can still feel it. Should’ve turned off realism mode.” “Great. Now we’re screwed. Start packing, we have to leave. They killed both of us in the simulation, it’s only a matter of time before they find where we’re hiding.” *PFFFF PFFFF PFFFF* 3 crisp knocks on the door followed. Steven grabbed the laser musket and started cranking it up. He aimed it directly at the door and slowly waited for someone to open it. All of the sudden Noah’s phone rang. His ringtone was a man singing. “ 🎶 Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you 🎵 ”. The door came crashing down...

[naotai]

“Are you mad? You look mad” “I’m not mad” “Nah but your face is screwed up like you’re mad” “I’m perturbed, not mad” After a couple moments of silence he spoke again. “You still look mad” “I’m not mad!” “But you will be soon” He made that annoying grin he always does, that smiling mischievous look when he’s accomplished his task of annoying the crap out of you” “I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it” “Dude... that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me” He took another drag of the cigarette and let out a big sigh as the smoke left his body. “Hey, what’s the word for that small infestation of creatures over there?” “Those are children, that’s a school bro” “Right right, children...” “No you cannot eat them” 

[naotai]

They sat there eating dinner silently. You could feel the tension in the room. He was wondering to himself why she was being so cold to him. And she sat there drowning in sorrow, but you couldn’t see any of the struggle. She was like a pond. On the surface very still and calm. But in the depths of the water only she knew what was going on. Nothing but the sounds of their spoons meeting their plates. When he suddenly realized what was wrong. There were black leather women’s boots on the shoe rack, but it didn’t belong to her. His heart sank. He looked her in the eyes, and they both knew it was over. Both of them bubbling up with emotions, but not a single word was spoken. Just the spoons hitting the plates, over and over and over...

[naotai]

Todd lived in a little house alone in the middle of nowhere. The place was filled with green plants. He would sit at night reading in peace, underneath the glow of the fish tank. The tank would reach up to the ceiling, more like an aquarium. It would cast a soft blue glow around the room and illuminate his book just enough for him to make out the figures of each letter. In the morning he would paint. It didn’t matter if it was good, he’d just paint in his little home with his cat. And everyday brought some weird adventure. He had a simple life, nothing exciting, but he was happy with that. He didn’t need to be grinding out a full time job, or travelling the world. Eventually he passed away. As a ghost Todd continued to roam around his house. He’d make sure to feed his cat and water the plants just to keep them thriving. But when his cat died he grew tired of the place and left. Years later after returning Todd would often find strangers in his home. People having sex. People smoking weed. People drinking beer. Little kids playing Big 2 after school. All kinds of people came to the house. And he would just watch them. Sometimes he’d follow them home just to see what their lives were like. A business woman would come by to smoke a cigarette alone. She was miserable. She worked all day long, and ran her own business. She’d travel often but alone, and had little friends due to her ambitious activities. She began to regularly come to Todd’s house to smoke. One day when she came by, the house was rebuilt. She walked in and the house was new again. Plants everywhere, beautiful white walls. The fish tank glowing in the corner of the room. And an endless amount of art supplies. She’d come to the house as often as she could. And Todd would watch her spend her hours carelessly, painting, singing. She was happy here. One day Todd found some of her things in the house. He wished he wasn’t dead anymore.

[naotai]

Sven was doing the crossword, he needed one more word, a 4 letter word that starts with L. He never actually read the news paper. “Have you ever said I love you to someone? Like actually said it. Not over a call, not over a text. Not to someone you like platonically. But to someone you’re just absolutely gushing over?” “Now that I think of it, I haven’t actually, why you asking though?” “I confessed to someone last week.” Sven looked at him in excitement, he nudged him a little. “WHO? Who did you say it to!? Was it Cathy!?” Mike sat there on the bus stop seat, looking absolutely at peace. Staring off into the pink wall across the street. Dozing off in his lovestruck mood. And he began speaking. “Saying I love you is such a deep thing you know. You don’t say it to everyone, only the special people. It’s gotta be real though. You can’t say I love you to someone and sound like you failed a chemistry exam.” “Oh shut up just tell me who you said it to you idiot” “You gotta really mean it when you say it, and boy did I put my heart into that one liner, my god.” Sven had enough of it already, he just wanted to get to the tea, but instead he mustered up his patience and continued to listen to Mike. “I said it for the first time in my life yesterday. I looked at her in the eye, completely vulnerable, and it just came out.” “What did she say?” “She puked... don’t you hate it when your cat does that...” Sven started smacking Mike with his newspaper repeatedly. They were both 15 minutes late to work that morning. They walked into the office and saw Cathy. She kissed Mike and said good morning. She walked away and Sven looked at Mike, he was grinning like a little gremlin. “Hey Sven, you wanna know a 4 letter word that starts with L?” Sven took out his newspaper and rolled it up. He looked at Mike and said. “Love” as he smacked him across the back of the head. 

[naotai]

“You’re kidding right? There’s no fucking way I’m sleeping in this hotel tonight, I don’t care what the Expedia reviews say.” “It’s just one night, all the other places are fully booked.” They parked the car and grabbed their stuff. The chime on the door went off as they entered the lobby. It reeked of moth balls. The man sitting behind the counter didn’t budge. Fixated on his newspaper. “Hi we’d like a room for two” He didn’t bother looking up. “It’s 50$ a night, here’s the key, last room down the hall on the left.” As they started walking down the hallway that uneasy feeling crept in on them. The floorboards creaked as they stood there looking at the door. They entered the room with low expectations. A basic bed. Shitty walls, and a dirty red carpet flooring. They unpacked their bags. “Hey I’m gonna walk around for a bit, see what’s nearby, I’ll be back in like 15.” David left the hotel and started walking around the neighbourhood. Meanwhile Yuki undressed and started taking a shower. The bathtub was all cracked up and the walls were filthy in the corners. She wanted the night to be over with already. David stopped by a convenient store. “Hey can I get a pack of chesterfields?” “One pack of chesterfields coming up,  anything else I can get for you sir?” “Um, yea actually I was wondering if there’s any good places to eat nearby for a quick bite?” “There’s a McDonald’s around the corner. A Wendy’s 2 blocks down, and this Indian Chinese fusion restaurant on 5th avenue. You new in town?” “Yea we’re just visiting, staying over at the hotel over there.” “The motor hotel!? Are you crazy!?” Yuki finished showering. She turned the knob off and looked up as she lifted her hair backwards. Looking up at the shower head she noticed a weird little black dot on the shower head. She stood on her toes to get a closer look and she was struck with fear. A small little camera placed on the shower head, pointing directly at her... 

[naotai]

It was a around 8 pm. He had finished most of the classrooms. Just another day at work. For the most part it was fine, other than the girl that puked near the bathroom, it was a normal day of being a janitor. He began checking all the doors, making sure they were locked. As he made a turn at the corner of the hallway, he looked at the final set of doors he hadn’t checked yet. Walking towards the door suddenly all the lights in the building turned off. He stopped abruptly and looked around. He gripped the keys in his hand. Turning on the flashlight on his phone. He started walking towards the engineers room. He didn’t check the last doors. In the complete darkness he could only see a meter in front of him. And all he heard was the deep echoes of his shoes hitting the floor. But then heard something else. He stopped walking and heard the banging. He turned around and saw the door open...

[naotai]

How many days had it been? 2? 3? Maybe 5. Day after day he was there on the bridge. He slept on the bridge, ate on the bridge, he lived there now. His girlfriend was the only one with him. He sat there looking at her just thinking about the last person he saw. His module battery was running low and once in a while she would glitch. “Ho-ow wa- w was your da- nice wea-weather today. The battery died and she disappeared. A car pulled up and emptied the first load of the day. He began dumping the bodies off the bridge...

[naotai]

She slotted in another coin. It was 1 am. Drunk in the last place she’d imagine herself being at, a bar. The only thing bringing her to this social place was the pinball machine. “Medieval Madness” read the screen, she had played it so many times the words were burned into the monitor. Now that her brother was gone the game was the only thing that made her feel close to him. They never got along that well. But the bad memories were locked away for a bit, only the good ones were visible. She used to watch him play Metroid on the game boy when they were kids, sitting there in awe. And when he went to the arcade, she would tag along and cheer him on as he topped the leader boards. Games were the only way they could connect with each other. She took a sip of her beer and went outside. She was still numb about it. Some cried for days, some forgot sooner or later. And then it hit her like a strike of lighting, all the emotions. She went back inside to play another game. The machine lit her face up. “Medieval madness”. The bartender could hear her sniffling behind the machine. He made her a drink and put it on the table behind her. She couldn’t let out a word, so she just nodded. Her brothers name was at the top of the leader board, and for just a moment, she felt like he was there, playing with her.

[naotai]

“You make my heart beat faster. You make me laugh like a walrus. You know my little quirks and weaknesses. You know my fears. Im comfortable with you. I dance around you and sing. We make weird voices and tease each other. Being wrapped around your arms makes me feel safe. You warm me up like a fire but can’t burn me. I’m myself when I’m with you. Being in the same room as you thrills me. You’re there for me when I need you and even so when I don’t. I enjoy seeing your face in the morning, disheveled and unfiltered. You’re not the source of my happiness, but fuck do you make me happy. Even going on a walk with you sounds fun. But you can also rip me up. You can bring me to tears. You can tear my walls down and make me vulnerable. You can make me feel as though my worlds crumbling. You can heal some wounds but create new ones that cut deeper. You can keep me up at night. You can be cold as ice. You can argue with me about dumb things and anger me. You can frustrate me and disappoint me. At times I might not be able stand being in the same room as you. You haven’t done it yet, but you have the ability to. You press all the buttons in the elevator, bringing me up and down. Playing with my heart like a little rubix cube. But you know what, it’s worth it. Keep twisting and turning. Keep switching colours and changing. Keep clicking those buttons. Eventually the doors will open. Eventually we’ll solve the puzzle and get used to it.” The old man folded up the paper and put it in his pocket. It was an old letter he wrote for someone. He looked at the kid with no expression. “That was deep, but also kind of scary.” Said the boy “One day you’ll understand”. The boy proceeded to vomit on the old mans lap. He punched the high school kid in the face and tossed him off the bench down the grassy hill. The moment of peace quickly became what you would call a “shit show”. 

[naotai]

They sat in the parking lot looking at the lights. It was 2 am. Totally empty. They chatted on about the most random things. Shower thoughts. And then it happened. He made her laugh.

An ugly laugh. She sounded like a walrus and lost her breath. Dying from laughter would be an accurate description. Playfully, she smacked him on the shoulder. One of those cliche smacks. The kind that says. “I hate you” but there’s no hatred in it.

And that’s when it clicked in her head. When she stopped laughing and they sat there quietly looking at the lights. There was a long pause. A silence. But it didn’t feel awkward, it was surprisingly putting her at ease. And her brain told her.

“Oh you dumbass, you just fell for this dude didn’t you. I swear to god if you try occupying any of this brain space to daydream about this guy, I’ll kill you.”

And then the heart went.

“Oh shut up, go figure out the Theoretical density of YMnO3 or something, this guy is cute, nice, smart, has basic hygiene and is funny.”

“Hey how about you find the chemical formula of Uranus because without me you’re literally thinking out of your ass.”

That insult made no sense, but brain was pissed off. Internally she had a little civil war playing out between her 2 most dominant mushy organs.

She looked down at her hand, and realized he had put his hand on top of hers. That’s technically a win for brain and heart. They sat there under cast of the blue lights. And then suddenly, she woke up from her dream...