naomitours

[naomitours]

Tromsø, Norway: The North Above the North

I am not a "cold-weather" person, both in personality and in personal inclination. So you might wonder why someone like me would go to Norway in December. And if you asked me this after I actually got there, it would've been a damn good question! But I had a single reason, and a good one:

That's right, I went to see the northern lights. The green lady. "A-AURORA BOREALIS??", in the words of Superintendent Chalmers. People much smarter than me say this is caused by the sun's upper atmosphere emanating a solar wind that reaches *our* upper atmosphere. While not the most consistent place in the world to see it, Tromsø is one of the easiest and largest to try your luck.

Disclaimers from the Top of the World

The first thing you should know about Tromsø is that the sun doesn't come up for most of winter. You'll have light for a few hours, sure, but it's not the same. The meaning of darkness is different when it's ever-present, and those brief few hours of light mean everything. I found myself wanting to shed my coat and soak the light in through every pore of my body.¹ Depression is a real problem here, so is alcoholism. (I was even told by a local that they track alcohol purchases via card, to make sure nobody is drinking too much in the dark months!)²

The "sunset" over the Tromsø harbor, 1:35 PM.

The second thing you should know is that you need traction on your footwear. Pack your snow boots, or buy some shoe spikes because otherwise you'll be spending a good chunk of your time here on the ground, cursing the ice. My dumb-ass had decided to come to Norway on a whim, without thinking or preparing, so I showed up in my Doc Martens slipping and sliding. I almost couldn't make it to my Airbnb, my host having to come down and help me up the hills!! Thankfully I was able to borrow boots from my, again, incredibly lovely host³, but my god you've never appreciated gravel so much!

The Tromsø Troll Museum

That's right, the main attraction in the city, the reason you flew hundreds, perhaps even thousands of miles! This tiny museum with a bunch of trolls scattered all around!

It's a cozy space, and if you're as fascinated as mythology as I am, it's really a must-see if you're in town. Also, there's a replica of a hulder. According to local lore, these were beautiful women who would often try to lure men away from their human homes, to live in otherworldly pleasure with them⁴, or they would marry human men and join our world, retaining their otherworldly strength⁵!

Aurora Borealis

The biggest disclaimer I'd offer for the northern lights is this, you are never guaranteed to see them, even if you do everything "right". This was such a huge source of anxiety for me until I finally had a good sighting, then I was able to relax. I recommend doing some guided tours, these are not necessary (I saw them once right outside my Airbnb!) but it's going to maximize your chances by getting you away from the city's light pollution. There's many different modes of transportation for this, I myself took a bus and a boat, but I saw advertisements for planes, helicopters and even dog sleds*. The first time I ever witnessed the northern lights was on a sleepy little boat tour, New Year's Eve 2023.⁶

The interior was very cozy, more importantly it was warm, essential on a night with subzero wind chill. I enjoyed cookies and coffee and hot chocolate with marshmallows!

The lights don't look like the pictures, that should be stressed. The vast majority of aurora borealis photos are taken via long-exposure, and our eyes just don't work the same way. But on a good night you can see a faint green distortion in the sky, as if a riff into another dimension. It's like you expect an alien spaceship, or the giant hand of a monster to come ripping out of it, changing our world forever.⁷ But for the natives of Tromsø, it's just a day like any other.

View of the Aurora Borealis, from my Airbnb the next day.

I also recommend booking a few different tours, if you're like me and only really need to see it once, many will let you cancel on 24hrs notice if you pay extra. I recommend this as a good way to save money, but I'm kinda a cheapskate, so what do I know?

Also, please don't be discouraged if you don't see the lights on any given tour, you still do get some really beautiful photographs. It's important to keep a sense of relativity about you, you are standing at the top of the world, in the freezing cold. And in this moment you are having a novel human experience, regardless of whether or not you see some pretty lights on top of it.

What I Ate

Now, you might think the food is very bare-necessities in this sleepy arctic city, but you'd be surprised! One of the first things I had was something I had actually failed to find in Oslo, a delicious Norwegian donut called a skolebolle:

With a custard center and coconut flakes trimming the top, it's a deliciously sweet treat that I found in a Eurospar for the equivalent of a dollar. I recommend enjoying it with black coffee! Not pictured are the other things I got from the store, including paprika-flavored potato chips (highly recommended) and a large bar of Freia milk chocolate, which you'll not be disappointed by.

There's also an abundance of little convenience stores that will get you hot meals for relatively cheap (Northern Europe is expensive!) On the right you'll see a pepperoni calzone that was pretty good, along with a Norwegian soda that was less so. But if you're looking for a finer taste of Tromsø, stay with me:

This is a sampling I did of Aquavit, the signature liquor of Scandinavia. All of it was made right here in Tromsø, and I had a lovely guide for this tasting. To name a few, lingonberries and reindeer meat, not to mention a small slice of grapefruit.⁸ It's a little skimpy, however the point isn't to eat, but to taste!⁹

Conclusion/Takeaways

It can be a very scary thing, to be so far away from home. In all my years of travel, though that uncertainty has diminished, it never truly goes away. Maybe travel is just like any other experience, your tolerance to it builds until you only feel the original high when you get even further out of the world as you've known it. In this way, travel is much like a drug. But what moves me most about travel is its capacity to help us understand not just the planet we live on, but our own place within it. And if you ever feel lost for purpose, I might recommend standing on top of the world, hunting for otherworldly apparitions in the sky //

Footnotes:

¹ Of course, if you actually try to walk around in Tromsø without a coat, you will a)freeze to death and b)look stupid

² LITERALLY 1984

³ Of course, I had to return the boots when I left for the airport, meaning I fell not once, not twice, but THREE times trying to get down the hills to the bus stop. Seriously, you can't wear your Docs, no matter how fashionable and punk rock they are!

⁴ But why would you want to do that, when society is sooooooo good?? Like, who wants to live in a fantasy world where there is no suffering or want when we have Pizza Hut here, right now?

⁵ A hulder also features prominently on the cover of that one metal album by the murderous Nazi that your friend still listens to, despite knowing he's, you know, a MURDEROUS NAZI.

⁶ I would later go on to watch a man in lederhosen play The Weeknd, Cher, and at midnight ABBA's "Happy New Year", all on a keyboard. Dude was a one-man entertainment MACHINE, the vibe was immaculate.

⁷ As seen in Avengers 17: We Saved the World Again, in theaters this summer! Go watch it. Right now. The corporations demand it. DO IT. CONSUME.

⁸ Make sure your meds don't interact with grapefruit. Grapefruit may cause side effects including sour taste. Ask your doctor if grapefruit is right for you.

⁹ You know, like, a tasting menu or something!!

[naomitours]

Joshua Tree, CA: Where The Streets Have No Name

I was never a big traveler. As a kid there was the odd family vacation or the occasional professional event in college, but almost never more than a state away. All of that changed when I took a temp job in California, and I visited one of my favorite places in the whole world, Joshua Tree. For reference, this is a joshua tree:

Some indigenous names include sovarampi, humwichawa, or umpu. It has tremendous cultural and religious significance.

Now a joshua tree is not a tree, it's scientific name is Yucca brevifolia, and it's much better described as a cactus. But who the fuck is Joshua, and who thought he was so important to have a tree named after him? Well, like many problems, it's the Mormon's fault. When missionaries first saw these trees they were reminded, as Mormons often are, of a biblical story. Specifically, Joshua stretching his hands out towards god. (Of course, it must be mentioned that indigenous people were already living here, and had their own names for this plant.)

What I Saw

Joshua Tree National Park

Maybe it's just our way as humans to see cultural figures in nature. Take for example this rock, which immediately reminded me of a crew mate from the hit video game Among Us (an amogus, if you will).

Suspicious formations at Skull Rock Trail

Skull Rock Trail is famously very easy and accessible, so if you're not big on hikes it can be a good starting place along with adjacent Split-Rock Trail. If you're looking for something a little more challenging, my pick would be the Ryan Mountain Trail, which is a really stunning 3-mile, out-and-back route to the summit of this majestic desert mountain.

View from Ryan Mountain at sunset.*

Another interesting fact about the park is that it actually covers 2 deserts.** The joshua trees grow exclusively in the Mojave Desert, but JTNP is also home to the Sonoran desert, which is beautiful in its own right:

The Cottonwood Visitor Center can be found here, but you probably already went to the VC in the city proper before you came here so no need to stop unless you're for some reason really into seeing all the visitor centers.

The Integratron

We also visited The Integratron. Now I have not been a spiritual person for many years, but this sounded like a cool experience. Basically, this guy in the 50's claims he was inspired by aliens to build it as a place of rejuvenation and, yes, time travel. I mean, look at the building:

Mr. Spock, set phasers to Enlighten!***

I mean, this thing looks like a spaceship, inside and out. You go in, this guy gives you a tour and overview of the history and then we all (there were about 20-30 of us) climbed up these big stairs and you get into this large, domed room. There were mats to lay down on and this woman came in and we all laid down and were instructed to remain completely silent while she performed what they called a "sound bath" in these quartz music bowls:

Did I feel something bigger than myself in that moment? Did I connect with the sun, the moon, the stars and the cosmos? No. But was it a cool and unique experience, an interesting story? Yes, but probably not worth the almost $40/person we ended up paying. Nice people though, it was very relaxing!

Where I Stayed

There's a lot of accommodations in JT, its generally warm climate also makes it a good spot for camping. I've been a few times and I generally stay in these horrible little motels, but when I went back here with a friend we wanted to get somewhere nice and had a really phenomenal time at Joshua Tree AutoCamp, which is a glamping experience that is equal parts nature and luxury. After all, when you wake in the morning, it's hard to beat the view of the mountains:

The best part of waking up in the desert is that it's so hot right away. This might not sound like a benefit (please stay hydrated at all times!) but one of the best parts of AutoCamp is that it has a pool, and as early as 7 in the morning you can see people taking a dip and cooling off.

Come on in, the water's very cold and you're in a desert

After the swim you can shower back in the Airstream, there's even little pegs to hang and dry things, like these horrible Pabst Blue Ribbon swim trunks we found at Walmart.

Then, once you're ready for bed, which we were after hiking all day, there's this big, comfy king-sized mattress, or if you need more than 1 bed, there's a long couch that's fine for sleeping as well.

What I Ate

There's a lot of great food in the desert, but what always interests me in my travels are the novel, the regional, the one-of-a-kind foodstuffs you will regret not trying. Joshua Tree was my first encounter with curry pizza:

Two pizza from Sam's, my memory isn't great so I think the first is the Bollywood pizza, the second from my most recent trip, is the Mini Maharaja pizza.

At Sam's Indian Food & Pizza, you could call it a natural evolution in Indian, Italian and arguably British culinary traditions. After all, while the origins of tikka masala are debated, it remains a staple in Indian-American cuisine, of which I am a humble but devoted fan. And much like traditional pizza, it's a tomato-based sauce, the result of the adaptation in medium is a delicious, savory pizza with green onions, paneer, ginger, cilantro and more!

We also ate at JT Country Kitchen which is an honest diner with good food. And I had a pancake that morning, which is just a little dessert in the desert, am I right??****

Summary

Joshua Tree is like nowhere else on Earth, it's inspired so much culturally, U2's album comes to mind, and it's also neighbor to the nearby Coachella and Stagecoach music festivals in Indio. The dry desert air, the sun beating down on your face, it connected me to my body in a new context, and I wanted to start this blog by commemorating somewhere truly special for me.

Joshua Tree was the place where I fell in love with national parks and the desert. It's where I take my friends whenever we're in southern California. And it's where, one fateful night, I decided I was going to transition medically and be my whole, authentic self. It was the start of an adventure, and I hope you'll join me on this blog as I take you along on many more to come!

Footnotes * Ryan Mountain is, of course, named after Hollywood actor Ryan Gosling, who was the first person to summit the mountain in 1994 when the park was opened. **** ** That's two more deserts than I grew up with in Ohio, I didn't know what I was missing! Thanks to climate change though, maybe we'll have our own Midwest desert someday soon! *** With all apologies to Trekkies, I've never watched so I don't know if the phasers were Spock's job, please don't do that Vulcan neck-thing that kills me, I'm ticklish. **** I apologize ***** This is not true, please don't spread misinformation online, it was just a joke!

[naomitours]

Hi, my name is Naomi, I'm 29 years old, and I love to travel

I've been all over the world

But primarily the United States

I'll be sharing stories, reviews and funny thoughts that come into my silly little head, so come along if you'd like to live vicariously through me, I also do musical bogging at @naomilores