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As our first Christmas as a little family approaches and Harrison is coming up to turning 1, I thought Iโd look back over the past year- the craziness of it and reflect on my first year as a mummy โค๏ธ
How crazy is it that heโs coming up 1?! ๐ข
Iโve spent the last two Christmasโ pregnant, so Iโm going to ensure that I fully enjoy this year- the wine, the cheeses, the pate and wearing nice clothes! But the main thing Iโm looking forward to is seeing Harrisonโs face on Christmas morning, opening his presents and spending time with our family- it is literally the best time of the year!!
This past year has been a HUGE learning curve for me- never did I know that becoming a mummy would be so challenging and the hardest job in the world.
Iโm not ashamed to say that the toughest parts for me have been:
- The realisation that I have to put someone else before myself in absolutely everything that I do
- Mumโs donโt get any time off- itโs a 24/7 job
- The tiredness and relentlessness ๐๐ด
- The strain on your relationship
- The constant feeling that you should be doing more or providing more for your child... (Am I playing with him enough, am I feeding him the right food, is he stimulated/ is he over-stimulated?! Do I sing enough songs, provide the right sort of toys, should he be watching tv, are we practising rolling/crawling/walking enough, do we read enough books- the list goes on...
But for every point above, Iโve got so so many positive memories from this past year.
Starting with nervously taking my tiny bundle out into the Jan/Feb fresh air- meeting my antenatal friends for lunches/coffees and showing off our little newborns ๐ถ๐ผ. Talking through our problems/giving an ear to each other when weโre all surviving off a couple hours sleep ๐ด.
Going to baby massage, sensory classes and seeing Harrison take to the water like a little fish!
Spending the summer out in the garden and meeting up in the park- being able to be part of one of my best friends maternity leave and seeing her flourish as a new mummy and helping each other through the madness of it all โค๏ธ
Watching Kev grow as a daddy- learning along the way and building a strong bond as dad and son- thereโs nothing in the world better than seeing your husband be a good dad.
Seeing my parents grow as grandparents and love Harrison as much as I do and my brother taking on the role as uncle and learning all about babies! Witnessing my grandmas face light up when I take Harrison round there ๐
And finally feeling that bond grow and grow between myself and Harrison. We have our own little ways now and our own little language. I picked him up earlier from the childminders, in the car I looked back to him and smiled and his face lit up! His beautiful cheeky face looking at me as if Iโm the funniest and most amazing person in the world.
And that pretty much sums it up.... there are days when you think to yourself that you canโt do it, that you need more sleep or you want some time off. Thereโs been many times over this year when I wish I could get a full nights sleep or just some time to myself- but when you realise what youโve created and what theyโre growing into, itโs tops everything.
At one point, I never thought Iโd get to be a mummy and I feel so lucky to be able to share this Christmas as a family- thereโs no better feeling โค๏ธ
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Majorca 2018
Yay weโre home from our lovely holiday! Well maybe not so yay when we landed today in 8 degrees rainy weather ๐๐งโ๏ธ
But we had an amazing 10 nights away in sunny Majorca thanks to my parents in law ๐ what a treat!
Our holiday experience was completely different this time round with Harrison on the move and Iโm so glad that we had the extra pairs of hands with us! ๐ค
But what Iโve realised is that second time round you just know... ๐
Youโre more confident in what to pack, how the airport shizzle all works and taking them on the plane. First time hols with a baby are like a minefield, trying to work out how it all works, but second time- no worries!
I didnโt take my prep machine this time, just relied on making up bottles the old fashion kettle way, sterilised bottles easy peasy in the microwave and we bought his food from the supermarket.
Itโs funny how you become much more confident as time goes on, before Portugal I was actually having heart palpitations worrying about everything- whether theyโd let me take his bottles on the plane, would the buggy & car seat make it and what would he sleep in. I worried about what heโd be like on the flight and whether people would get annoyed with us.
Top tips which Iโve learnt from both trips are:
- You can buy everything in foreign supermarkets that you can at home. Nappies, wipes, baby food etc are easily accessible so donโt weigh your suitcase down
- Take your own mattress protector & cot sheet as you wonโt be sure what theyโll give you for them to sleep in (also it smells like home)
- Stock up on mozzie stuff (they literally ate us alive ๐จ at one point I had 38 bites! They even tried Harrison, but he wasnโt so tastey)
- MAM bottles & dummies are brill as you can sterilise them in the microwave
- Speedy security at the airport is so worth the extra ยฃ5
- Meet & greet car parking is also worth it than faffing getting on a shuttle bus
- When you buy bottled water for the babies bottles, check the sodium (na) levels- I researched somewhere that they should be below 20mg per litre
- Load up the iPad with baby friendly programmes (I downloaded Noddy, Peppa Pig and a nursery rhymes app)
- Go with low expectations ๐ this isnโt to sound negative, but I realised after Portugal that holidays arenโt going to be the same again! You canโt lay for hours chilling by the pool with a baby... There will be times that itโll be stressful and you & your partner will probably argue.
But if you go with lower expectations then anything above that will be a breeze โ๏ธ
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End of mat leave ๐ข
At the end of 2016 I went to see a psychic... I was feeling really low, weโd lost two babies already and I was wondering where my life was heading. Iโve always been a believer in that sort of thing and I like to think it gave me some hope.
He mentioned to me that he saw a baby within the next year and that once I have my baby Iโll work for a company- something to do with children. I actually cried. He made me believe that weโd get our baby and that there was some hope for us ๐ถ๐ผ
Fast forward 20 months and look where we are. Harrison is coming up 8 months old and learning new things every day. Sometimes I look at him and still canโt believe heโs ours! Itโs been a whirlwind and I have to admit very challenging- probably the hardest thing weโve ever done, but itโs taken our lives to a whole different level and itโs changed us as people.
However Iโve figured out that what comes with the newborn bubble and the craziness that you go through means that you donโt realise how quickly the time is going past and before you know it your maternity pay is coming to an end and you suddenly have to figure out what youโre going to do.
It might be that from before your little one was born you had a plan or your mind may have changed since having your baby- the return to work subject is such a difficult one for every mum.
Finding suitable childcare, arranging working hours, doing the sums and working out whether your wages will actually cover the costs of nursery on top of that emotional pang inside of you at the thought of having to leave your baby in the care of someone else.
Some mums might be looking forward to a bit of independence, others might be dreading it- either way itโs not an easy decision to make.
I joined Pizza Hut in early 2016- we were already trying for a baby, but we had no idea what the future would hold for us, so I focused on my career. Itโs an amazing place to work and I feel so lucky to have been able to work for an international brand and play my small part in the organisation. They also supported me so much through a not so great pregnancy (mainly due to my anxiety) and let me work at home, take things easy and focus on growing a healthy baby.
However after a lot of figuring things out; I have decided that the commute is too far and that I want to be with Harrison as much as possible as he develops and grows. I donโt want to go back half heartedly or begrudge work at all.
Therefore Iโm so excited that Iโve been offered a paid home based role with the NCT Charity!
I started volunteering with them earlier this year after starting my mat leave and Iโve really enjoyed being part of a national charity which aims to support new parents.
Iโm also really excited to be re-launching my CV writing service as โNH Career Coachingโ- offering CV, application and interview support. Therefore keep an eye out on social media for my new snazzy page!
Harrison will be going into childcare a couple of days a week so that I can focus solely on work, however Iโm really excited to be able to be with him to see him develop, to go swimming and to baby groups.
I think I might have a slightly different outlook than other people about returning to work now that Harrison is here. It took us so long to have a baby, I just want to cherish it. I donโt want to miss anything and these past 8 months have whizzed by so quickly that Iโm scared that before I know it heโll be going to school! ๐ฐ
Iโm also in a very fortune position where Iโm not financially tied down to bringing in a certain amount of income (although if I earn more then it comes in handy!), but that gives me some breathing space and if it means I canโt splash out on new clothes or having my hair done all the time then Iโm okay with that.
A new chapter begins for us in October after our holiday ๐ Iโm a little apprehensive obviously and Iโm hoping Harrison will settle into his childcare well and be happy there, however Iโm also really excited about what the future holds.
The psychic was right back in 2016 that we would get our baby and that Iโd work for a company to do with children. ๐
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To boob or not to boob?
I know this is going to be a controversial topic and one which women will probably never agree on... however what are everyone's opinions on the breastfeeding issues which are being highlighted to us this week during Breastfeeding Awareness Week?
I watched the C4 programme on Monday and I have to say I wasn't amazed... I also felt that a 30mins episode only touched the tip of the iceberg and didn't delve deep enough into the actual issues within our society.
I personally chose to bottle feed- not because I thought that formula was the same as breast milk, but because I'd heard lots of negative stories about mums having their babies attached to them 24/7, not being able to have any independence of their own and struggling to get the baby to ever take a bottle... This actually made me feel claustrophobic- thinking that if I breastfed then I wouldn't have any independence ๐
I knew I wanted Kev to be involved from the start and to share the responsibilities of feeding, changing etc with me.
I never felt pressured by my midwife to breastfeed and we were all prepped to bottle feed from day 1.
Personally- and this is just my opinion, however I think that breastfeeding rates are low nowadays because mums are under much more pressure to get their old lives back. A lot of mums want to get straight back to the gym, have a social life, be independent and believe that the care of their baby should be shared with their spouse...
This is a lot different to years ago when more women were happy to be housewives and took it upon themselves to be the main caregiver to the baby. More women are now having careers and having to return to work and sometimes it's not practical to exclusively breastfeed whilst trying to maintain that lifestyle.
If I asked my grandparents whether my grandads ever fed the baby or changed a nappy, then they'd probably laugh- however now it's just normal that men are expected to step in and help out.
I watched a video earlier on FB where a women that had breastfed her baby was saying that she felt jealous of the other women who were bottle feeding and could go out in the evening, whilst she sat there feeding her baby every 2hrs during the night and I get that! That couldn't have helped her mental health at all....
So what are your thoughts?
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Be Fabulous....
What is it with mums and doubting their own abilities?
We had a grumpy day yesterday and today isn't looking much better... ๐ฃ
But he's finally having a nap and I'm treating myself to a meringue with raspberries and oat cream (lovely dairy equivalent ๐)- yes at 11:20am.
Because actually I deserve it... ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
Kev works so hard to support us as a family, but that means that he's away with work ALOT and spending 24/48/72hrs on your own with a baby is hard work ๐ฐ๐ด
Hats off to any single parents- I don't know how you do it!
Yesterday we had a grizzly morning, the house was looking a state and it was so humid, I was all flustered.
I knew I needed to do the food shopping and tidy up our mess from the weekend but everything seemed to be going wrong!
I finally got out to Tesco at 2pm, walked around- bought some random crap that we probably didn't need, felt dizzy from not eating anything all day- decided I couldn't be bothered to do a full shop and came back home!
Harrison was actually as good as gold in the supermarket, but I was over it...
So I had a pizza and got in bed with him at 6:30pm ๐ฃ Feeling rubbish I thought to myself, did I actually achieve anything today?!
However today I've woken up with a different mindset... That actually everyday there are small wins that we, us mums should celebrate ๐ฏ
We have no food, the dog has stolen the new bath toys that I bought Harrison and taken them into the garden and Harrison is sleeping covered in raspberry juice.... but today I'm celebrating all of the small things:
1) I managed to hoover the conservatory
2) Harrison loved having some raspberries this morning
3) I had a bath earlier (with Harrison in his walker in the bathroom and the dog in the room too)
4) He's had a nap since 11am, so I've had some chill time (and ordered some pink Birkenstocks ๐)
5) There's no washing to do in the basket ๐๐ป
So mum's if you're reading this and having a bleughh day... then remember actually you're smashing it!
Every single day you put a tiny human before yourself in everything that you do...
If you manage the smallest of tasks then you're winning, because actually even feeding, soothing, playing with and cleaning a tiny human everyday is tiring- anything beyond that and you're doing well!
Anyways I better get off!
He's awoken from his nap- so I'm off to entertain, feed and wash the little rascal! ๐
Just remember- you're fabulous mumma!
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The 6 month pinnacle....
Does anyone else feel like the 6 month mark is a massive milestone in the newborn journey?
As soon as we'd had Harrison, people were asking me when he'd be going into his own room....
Some people made me feel like it was a weakness on my part to keep him in our room until 6 months and Kev has literally nagged me every week! ๐ฐ
But I've always been one to follow the rules and I know I'm an anxious person....
I believe that the NHS have recommendations for a reason ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
So now we're coming up to the 6 month mark, I'm a bit anxious for this transition-
1) Because I know I don't like change
2) Most nights I have to put his dummy back in at least 10-12 times and shh him, hold his hand, put my hand on him etc to settle him
3) I kind of like having him next to me, so that I can see that he's okay
4) I think there's going to be some more sleep deprived nights ahead, just when I thought things were settling down
5) I'm still doing a night feed
Any tips to make this transition any easier?
Then the next big thing is this weaning malarky!
We actually started giving Harrison purรฉes early due to his cow milk allergy and dr recommendations...
However now I'm all confuzzled about this baby led or spoon fed stuff?!
Maybe I shouldn't have googled it, but quite a few sites are saying we can't mix it up... ๐
I was planning on giving spoon-fed puree's to ensure he's getting the calories, finger food so that he can work on his coordination etc and topping up with milk as/when needed.
But I didn't realise how 'into' this weaning thing some parents get!
Surely the outcome is always the same ๐ We were all spoon fed back in the day- do you see us struggling to feed ourselves? We obviously all mastered the skill of hand to mouth and cutlery at some point ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ
One blog stated that spoon-fed babies are more likely to be fussy eaters... ๐ I'm not sure where they got this fact from, Harrison has eaten every purรฉe that I've tried with him so far...
Anyways it seems that the 6 month mark is a triumphant time, but also an abundance of change!
Just when we think we've got the hang of it, it's all up in the air again ๐ฃ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
Anyone got it all together and know what their doing?
Send the tips this way ๐๐ผ๐๐ป
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The Fourth Trimester....
There's been lots about recently regarding the fourth trimester and how women need that first 8 weeks or so postpartum to settle into their new role as a mummy. Harrison is 20 weeks now and I'm just starting to feel as though we're settling into family life with a baby. I'm not ashamed to say that it's been a whirlwind for us.... and we did have a big reality shock when he came along that our lives wouldn't be the same ever again. Harrison had made me less selfish, more patient and made me look at the world in a completely different light, but there were moments in the early weeks when I thought what have we done ๐ฐ Everything we do now is for him and his future. I love the bond that's growing between Kev and his son, it makes my heart melt seeing the love he has for him ๐ As soon as he wakes up in the morning we have smiles and cuddles and as soon as Kev walks in the door from work he scoops him up for kisses- but this has been a work in progress and we did find it difficult at the start. The fourth trimester is starting to be recognised as a transitional phase for new parents, but there should still be more professional support for new parents embarking on their journey of parenthood. I'm extremely lucky to have met several lovely ladies during antenatal and we message every day to keep each other sane... Sometimes you just need that advice or someone to have a moan with. No one can prepare you for the sacrifices you're going to have to give once you have a little baby. As one of my close friends recently said- 'how do you even go to the toilet?!' But you soon find ways to get things done and life hacks that make your life a bit easier... Here are my tips for getting through the fourth trimester: - Don't put pressure on yourself to get out & about (sure if you feel up to it, then go out, but don't feel guilty for having a pyjama day!) - Housework can wait - Make sure you reach out to friends that'll understand what you're going through - If you feel like crying then have a cry. It's not a weakness, it's a natural reaction to change - Sleep when you can- sleep deprivation is the worst - Find things that'll occupy your baby, so that you can have a shower/dry your hair/put make up on - Don't feel ashamed of limited TV time for your little one. Harrison sits in his sit me up chair and watches Peppa Pig so that I can do the washing/dishwasher etc - Have at least one day a week at home with no plans - Ask for help... no one knows what they're doing really, but together you can work it out - If you feel like you're really struggling then don't feel scared to ask for professional help - Join some groups to meet other mummy's - Don't feel like you have to be perfect. In your babies eyes you are the most amazing thing ever. - Try to have some 'away' time... whether that's going to the gym, going for a walk, joining a book club- it's healthy to have some 'me' time - Work with your partner to get through it. It's as much as a shock to them as it is for you and you will argue, you will struggle but the main thing is that you stick at it together What advice would you give a new mummy to get through the fourth trimester? Did you struggle adjusting to looking after a little one?
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Baby sleep routines... ๐ด๐ด
This week I attended a sleep workshop at Huddle and Bliss with Harrison in tow... ๐ถ๐ผ
(I love that place!) www.huddleandbliss.com
Baby sleep routines are a funny thing and I've found that there's so much contradicting advice out there (and people who think they know best), that it's so difficult to know what we should be doing!
Take 30 years ago- my mum was told to put me down for all naps & bedtime in my cot, in my own room and let me cry it out, they were also advised that babies should sleep on their front.
Our grandparents put their babies to sleep in their prams at the bottom of the garden! (rain or shine!)
Now I can't say that we've been having the worst time with sleeping, but I wanted to find out any new tips they could offer me.
Our current sleep routine is:
Harrison naps on and off during the day, depending on what I'm doing- he'll sleep in the car/pushchair or at someone's house etc... We're not at home for a full day very often (because I'd go crazy), so he generally has power naps as and when he's sleepy. He fights it quite a lot, but I can tell when he's getting tired, so I try to catch him before he's screaming ๐ฐ
Our evening routine is a bit of a pickle:
Kev gets home any time between 5:30-7:30pm, I cook dinner etc whilst Harrison is either in his highchair or if Kev gets home then they chill on the sofa...
He'll have a feed around 6pm and generally gets sleepy to doze off around 7-7:30pm.
At the moment he goes to sleep in his sleepyhead downstairs and I go up to bed around 8pm.
Kev dreamfeeds & changes him around 10pm and brings him upstairs....
During the night I generally long out the night feed until about 3am (with a lot of putting his dummy back in, holding his hand, settling etc) and then he usually wakes in the morning at 7ish.
I was pretty worried that Elissa was going to say that our bedtime routine is all wrong and that he needed to be in his crib for bedtime and for all his naps at home in his crib- but the advice was very realistic and I really enjoyed the session!
Elissa actually mentioned that if you can get your baby to nap wherever you are, then you've really cracked it, because you don't want them to be tied down to only napping in their crib at home.... I often feel guilty for being out so much, but I can't spend every day at home just mulling around ๐
She also advised that although our evening routine isn't ideal forever, if at the moment it means I'm getting a little bit more sleep then that's fine. If Harrison knows the routine and is happy falling asleep downstairs then that's ok!! Phew ๐ฐ
We also learnt a lot around the science behind baby sleep and why they wake up etc (really interesting!!) and some tips on how to get them to wind down in the evening....
Elissa is a qualified Baby Sleep Therapist, so it felt really nice to get some quality advice and guidance (as to be honest none of us know whether we're doing the right thing!)
We also learnt some really simple things that were useful:
- A baby under 6 months usually only wakes if there's something up (hungry, in pain, nappy needs changing, growth spurt etc)
- Every baby is different
- Going 'through the night' doesn't necessarily mean 7pm- 7am. It could mean 11pm- 6am for example (ahh 7hrs, that would be nice ๐ด)
- Routine is key to a good bedtime (doesn't have to be a bath, could be a song or story before bed each night that the baby can associate with bedtime)
- A babies sleep cycle is much much shorter than ours, that's why white noise helps to lull them back to sleep when they stir- instead of them waking up
- Do whatever works for you and don't listen to the meaningful 'helpful' advice....
I'm a true believer that every baby is different, every mum is different and every family is different, but honest advice and guidance from others who have been there does the world of good!
So what worked for you? Any tips for us newbies ๐๐ผ
I've added a pic below of a babies sleep cycle, which just shows us how much stage 1 sleep they have and why they're so easily woken up!
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What I'd give a new mum...
Following on from my last blog post and as part of the 'what I'd give a new mum campaign', I've jotted down a list of 10 things that I'd personally give a new mum who is about to embark on the parenthood adventure....
1) Strength- it's okay to be scared/worried, but your body has been built to grow your baby and give birth. You will and can give birth to this baby- you will have so much support around you from midwives/doctors that you're in completely safe hands.
2) Focus- all that matters once your little one arrives is that you're both cared for. Look after yourself, make sure you eat/drink, look after that little bundle- happy mummy, happy baby!
3) Support- surround yourself only by people who'll support you. This new little baby is going to be life changing for you and you need the best supporters around you... You'll soon realise who is there to help you and who isn't ๐
4) Trust- listen to your instincts and trust yourself. No one really knows what they're doing to begin with, but trust that you're doing the right thing. If not, then google it!
5) Time- time to adjust, time for yourself and time to nap ๐ด
6) Kindness- be kind to yourself and be kind to others.... ๐
7) Laughter- when in doubt, laugh! When you're covered in poop, when you've had 30mins sleep in over 48hrs, when you and your partner are arguing, when your little one is screaming & screaming- then laugh! Laughter is a cure for everything! ๐
8) Ask for help- it's okay to not have everything together. It's okay to not have a clue what you're doing, to need an extra pair of hands or to need a bit of help! Swallow your pride and ask....
9) Reassurance- the first 8 weeks or so are madness. You feel like you're living in an out of body experience, but it does get easier, it does get better and you can do it...
10) Truth- yes labour hurts, yes your body will hurt afterwards, no you won't spring back after a week, yes you'll cry, yes you'll feel tired, yes you will argue with your partner, no you won't feel yourself straight away, but yes you can do it.... Don't put pressure on yourself, give yourself time and you'll be absolutely fine....
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Maternal Mental Health....
MMH Week....
I heard a scary fact this week that 1 in 10 new mums contemplate suicide.... that they think about taking their own life because they're not coping, they feel low, they have no support around them....
This is really scary!!
I haven't hidden my thoughts on being a new mum- that it's so demanding, full on and tiring, but I can't imagine being at the point where I'd think about taking my own life ๐ฐ
When you have a baby, the first couple of weeks are full on with visits from the midwife & health visitors.... I was asked on many occasions how I was feeling, was I feeling low, did I have much support around me etc etc- I was offered pamphlets, phone numbers and details on what to do if I was feeling down- but would I really reach out if I was struggling? And once those first few visits are over, you're out there on your own...
The midwives & health visitors commented many times on how I was looking great and how well I was getting on- but could they really judge that on how I looked? ๐
๐ผ๐๐ผ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
There's a campaign at the moment running called 'Depression Wears Lippy' and it highlights to us that just because someone is wearing lovely clothes, make up/hair done nicely, it does not mean that they aren't struggling inside.... #depressionwearslippy
During my discharge from hospital they asked about my support network and before I could answer, they'd ticked yes because Kev was at the hospital with me.... ๐ซ
How did they know he was going to support me once I got home? Did they just assume that I'd have enough support because I had a husband?
During MMH week, it's been highlighted that 1 in 5 women have either pre or post natal depression- that's a scary figure! There's been days when I can feel myself slipping a bit- whether that's from the sleep deprivation or hormonal changes, I recognise when I'm not feeling 100% and usually talk it out with my mum or take myself off to chill in the bath- but not all women have that luxury and I can really get how some women would get stuck in a downwards spiral....
Harrison is now coming up 16 weeks and I'm only just starting to feel like I can start doing something for myself- I've been checking out local fitness classes and I've booked a spa day ๐๐ผ I think it's important to make time for yourself and have some alone time doing something that you enjoy....
I recently joined the local NCT Commitee and after the first meeting, I came skipping out, full of beans because I'd had an intelligent conversation with other adults ๐๐ป
Keep an eye on the mummy's around you and if you're a mummy yourself then be mindful of how you're feeling... ๐
If you're feeling low then that's totally fine! After all- this is a brand new thing that you're adjusting to and you're mega mega mega tired! ๐ด
Know when and how to reach out, sometimes a good moan to your friends can really help, but if you think you need more support then get in touch with your health visitor or doctor... It's absolutely fine to feel out of your depth or scared! ๐๐
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Cheers! ๐พ
Last December I think I would have been sniggering at what I'm writing now...
How can raising a baby be more hard work than a full time job?
I was coming up to my maternity leave and eagerly looking forward to my 52 weeks off with my new arrival...๐ It'll just be pub lunches and chilling at home right?!
Little did I know that my new role as a mummy would be a million times more demanding than a day at the office...
I remember having days where I'd be stuck in traffic on the M1, have a mega busy day, grabbing a sandwich at my desk and travel home late... I'd moan that I was shattered and work was so tiring.... but I knew that as soon as I got through the door that I could chill out....
I'd been hoping to fall pregnant successfully for nearly 3 years and when it finally happened, I literally counted down the weeks until I could spend all of my time with my new beautiful baby!
But being a mummy hasn't been all I thought it would be and it's such hard work- I'm not ashamed to say it! It's more mentally, physically and emotionally draining than I could ever imagine...
I love love love having my little family, but each day comes with new surprises and challenges- I've become a superhuman version of myself, finding new ways of doing tasks totally led by a tiny weeny human being ๐ถ๐ผ
Take having a shower for example- yep most people would take it for granted!
But my options most days are:
1) Get out of bed before baby wakes up to have a peaceful shower (loose out on extra sleep)
2) Shower once he's awake, but run the risk of him screaming the whole time
3) Not shower
This has become the norm for most common day tasks- putting make up on, drying my hair, finding something suitable to wear (that doesn't need ironing), doing housework.... All pretty standard things have now become a balancing act of whether I can complete the task in a really quick time when/if the baby is content (usually in 5-10mins chunks).
This sounds laughable right?! And if I didn't have a baby, I'd think I was over exaggerating.... but I've become a pro speed demon at sorting the dishwasher and hanging laundry out... I know how to put minimal make up on so that I can look 'ok' to others ๐
I've learnt how to slide out of bed like a slug, so he doesn't wake up and I can grab a quick coffee/have a shower....
My auntie said that having a baby is like starting a new job- but just when you think you're getting the hang of it, the job description changes! And that's exactly how it is....
Yes I go out for lunches, go to the shops and you see things on social media that we've been doing lots of 'fun' stuff, but little do people know what I've had to do that morning in order to get out of the house with a clean, fed and happy baby- with make up on and clean hair, clothes that look clean & ironed...
Some days I tear my hair out and other times I let it go because I laugh to myself that I never thought I'd find getting out & about such a challenge... and I'm sure this only gets more challenging as they grow! I can't contemplate at the moment how I'm going to juggle it all when I return to work, but lots of mums do it, so I'm sure it can be done ๐
Well done to the mummas who manage to wash their hair, who get to appointments/work on time, look presentable and 'act normal'- I understand what you might have been through to get out of the house that morning and to anyone judging a mum who hasn't put make up on or who is late to meet you or cancels all together- give these women a break! ๐ They don't wanna be walking around looking like a zombie, with unironed clothes ๐ but they've had to pick that over completing another task....
Being a mum is one of the only roles where you don't gain feedback on your performance... We stumble through each day, hoping that what we're doing is right- but there's no way of knowing if you're achieving anything. Your role is 24/7, but you don't have appraisals and you don't get a pat on the back or a bonus for doing well....
We're now at the teething stage with Harrison- they're giving him real agro โน๏ธ last night he was unsettled 1-3am, then I fed him and he cried until 5am.... We tried everything to try and settle him, but he was in so much pain- stupid teeth ๐
We're both really shattered today and I've realised that I haven't had more than 3-4hrs sleep in a row since he was born ๐ด
This is a bit of a long rambling blog post, but the main message I wanted to get across is that looking after a baby 24/7 has been so much more tiring than I ever imagined.... and anyone out there in their deluded mind that thinks that a mums job is easy, especially whilst on mat leave- have not got a clue what a challenge it can be.
Cheers to the mumma's ๐พ๐ช๐ผ๐ป
You're doing a fab job- so surround yourself with people that let you know that ๐
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Holiday Blog Part 2 โ๏ธ
Now that we're back in chilly England, I thought I'd post up Part 2 of our Holiday Blog...
With a mountain of washing to do ๐ wahhh we've crashed back down to reality ๐ญ
Kev's back at work and Harrison has his second lot of jabs today.... ๐
I hope the top tips from my last post will inspire some of you to bite the bullet and take your little ones away on holiday.... it really wasn't as stressful as I thought it would be and now we have lots of lovely memories and photos to look back on... ๐
I'm not saying that it was all plain sailing.... this was our first holiday as a family and we definitely felt the difference....
- No more holiday lie ins ๐ซ๐ด
- It took an extra hour to get out & about every day (after smothering Harrison in factor 50 suncream โ๏ธ๐) No spontaneous sunbathing!
- Talking of sunbathing.... one of us has to sit in the shade with Harrison all the time, so our times of spending all day sunning it up together around the pool were over..... Though he did nap in his buggy for a quick 30mins where we'd both have some chill time!
- I had to be extremely organised everyday and sterilise/boil up all the water needed for the bottles
- Packing away with a baby is hard work ๐ด he just wouldn't settle yesterday, so we had to take it in turns to pack the suitcases...
- Being the mum continued on holiday as much as I am at home ๐๐ด
But don't let any of this put you off.... We had a wonderful time and we're already looking forward to our next holiday to Majorca in September! โ๏ธ
Things I wish I'd packed:
- A small amount of washing powder (Harrison is being a bit sicky at the moment as he's teething and sticking his fingers right into his mouth)
- Some sterilising tablets or liquid (I like things to be squeaky clean and although we were boiling the water and sterilising bottles in the microwave, I would have like to use sterilising stuff too to make sure the germies were gone!
- Less nappies- I took about 10, but actually we probably only needed a handful to get us through the journey as the Portuguese ones were brill! (That would have given me more space in the suitcase)
- More things to occupy Harrison like buggy toys etc... I think he would have sat happily in his buggy round the pool more if there were things to keep him entertained ๐คน๐ปโโ๏ธ
- More formula! It's so difficult to estimate how much formula you'll need. We took a tin and half, but by Friday we were looking low ๐๐ฃ So we had to go on the hunt for some formula- luckily they actually sell goats milk formula in the Portuguese supermarkets! But I was starting to worry..... ๐ซ
Just a few more things that I discovered....:
- Coming home the security was a lot more vigilant, so we had to take the wheels off the buggy- it had to go through the conveyor belt (good to be organised beforehand)
- The airport was boiling hot, so although I'd dressed Harrison in a babygrow for the flight, we had to strip him off to his vest until we were on the plane
- Flying with Ryanair, infants can only sit on the right hand side at the front of the plane (they got us to move) due to emergency exits
- Changing facilities on a plane are at the back of the plane (changing a poopy nappy on a plane is an experience in itself ๐๐ฉ)
- There are rarely changing facilities in restaurants abroad, so we did many nappy changes in the buggy (hope no one minded ๐)
I hope this little holiday blog has been useful to you (even if one person feels empowered to go and book a holiday with a baby, then I'll be happy ๐)
Now I better get back to my mountain of washing- I think it'll take me until at least the weekend to get through it all and we have no food in the house, so food shopping fun today!!
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I thought I'd post up my Holiday Blog Part 1 whilst we're still here (it's a bit cloudy today, so we're having a chill day at the apartment).
I've put together some top tips for travelling and holidaying with a baby.... (whilst he's sleeping)
These are just what I've found useful and things which I've discovered whilst we've been away that might help you if you're thinking of taking your first holiday (abroad or in the U.K) with a little one.... You might find other things work for you ๐
Organisation is key- lists, lists and more lists. When you actually start writing it down, the tasks don't seem too much...
Flights:
When you fly with a baby on a budget airline, they whack on around a ยฃ50 infant fee which basically covers taxes and also means you can take two items with you (we took the car seat and our pushchair)
We had our car seat wrapped at the airport to protect it (you know that they throw these things around) and you can take your pushchair all the way to the plane....
When you travel on a plane with an infant (under 2) they have to sit on your lap, but you get to take an extra bag (probably their changing bag) onto the plane....
Top tip- the seats at the front of the plane are so much more spacious (you might have to pay extra), but it's definitely worth it so that you can spread out a bit!
Getting through security is easy (I paid ยฃ5 extra to do speedy security)- definitely worth it! You can take as much formula, bottles, sterile water needed for your baby... I had 4 bottles with sterile water in and they just checked them on a machine. No hassle ๐ I then asked a coffee shop at the airport to fill my flask with boiling water.
Accommodation:
We usually always book self catering or BB anyway, but having your own living room & kitchen is really useful. If you're bottle feeding then a kitchen especially is useful so that you can sterilise the bottles. Without a steriliser, I've got into a bit of a routine:
We have the MAM Anti-Colic bottles which you can sterilise in a microwave. So we brought 5 of those with us....
I boil the kettle and wash the bottles with boiled water & washing up liquid, I then rinse the bottles out with more boiled water and sterilise them in the microwave using bottled water.....
If you're a bit like me, then I worry about GERMS, so I bought some antibacterial wipes at the shops to keep everything in the kitchen nice & clean.....
You can bring sterilising tablets/liquid with you, but I've never used these before and there weren't any to buy here in the supermarkets....
Top tip: bring a tea towel, brush/cloth & rubber gloves from home ๐ค
The water abroad obviously isn't sterile from the tap, so you need to be careful about what you feed your baby... ๐ผ
You can boil bottled water, but you just need to make sure that the sodium levels are low or N/A (you can check on the side of the bottle)
We brought our Tommee Tipee Prep Machine with us as it's useful for the night feeds, but when we're out & about, I've just been boiling up some bottled water and filling 2-3 sterilised bottles with 6-7oz of boiled water and I also take some extra boiled water in a flask....
We've also got some really handy NUK powder pots which hold quite a lot of formula and I make sure I have them filled up constantly so we always have enough on us for around 3 bottles.
Top tip: Probably don't need a prep machine if you're organised with boiling up the bottled water. When we go abroad again, I'll just manage with boiling water up.
Packing:
I brought about 8-10 nappies with me and then we bought some 'Pommette' nappies and wipes out here.... all fine!
We've washed out quite a lot of Harrison's clothes in the sink, so I probably overpacked clothes wise for him- next time I'll take less and wash/dry things for him!
Other bits I packed are:
Room thermometer
Sleepbag
Baby thermometer
Sudocrem
Baby towel
Swimming stuff
Swim nappies
Sun hats
Factor 50 suncream
Baby calpol & nurofen
Teething gel
Other things we've found useful:
We brought a Koo-di buggy shade with us which has been really useful on the hot days. It fits right over the pushchair, but it's made from breathable material.
We have a Bizzigrowin Travel Pod which has been a god send ๐๐ป It's a little foldable crib with breathable sides ๐ You never know what a hotel is going to give you (or what the mattress is going to be like) see pic below ๐๐ผ
We brought Ollie the Owl with us, so he has white noise through the night just like at home....
I brought our angelcare monitor for peace of mind (I know I wouldn't sleep properly if we didn't have it)
We brought our Rockit (see previous review post) with us which has been handy in the evenings when we've been at a restaurant...
I downloaded peppa pig onto the iPad which he's enjoyed watching ๐
If you're umming & aaing about whether to take your little one on holiday, I would definitely say it hasn't been as half as stressful as I thought it was going to be.... โ๏ธ
The main thing is the planning beforehand and also paying for those extra little luxuries (extra legroom seats, speedy security, priority boarding) to make your life a little bit easier....
Once you arrive and have everything set up, then it's just like being at home....
The only thing I've missed is having some sort of baby seat for Harrison to sit in, we keep having to prop him up on the sofa or he goes in the highchair, but he's a bit small so we surround him with towels ๐
We've been having a fab time so far... We've had a few hot days, but the next couple are looking like they're going to be cloudy so we'll probably spend some time in the indoor pool and exploring around....
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Supporting your mum friends....
I recently posted an #iminyourvillage post on Instagram, a campaign talking about the importance of support from people around you โ๐ป
I'm the first one to admit that before I had a baby, I don't think I really supported my friends with baby's as well as I should have done (I've actually apologised to them now). Because until you have a little one yourself it's really tough to understand what new mums need.
I've been the friend who's turned up with lots of lovely presents during the first week of the baby's life- expecting the mum to want me to pop over and wanting cuddles with the baby.
I've been the one who's not understood why their houses are cluttered with baby crap or wondered why they aren't dressed....
I haven't offered to make my own drink or helped to make snacks and now I'm so sorry for not thinking about it before!
Until I had Harrison I didn't really think about how the mum was feeling with the aftermath of labour... I knew they'd be sore, but I didn't know how much.... I knew they'd feel emotional, but I didn't really get it.
I definitely didn't sit there knowing that their boobs would be swelling and leaking, the same thing happening with their private parts and that they were just about managing to string a sentence together after 2hrs sleep ๐ด
So now I'm a friend who takes a back seat... who waits to be invited, makes my own drinks and turns up with snacks....
I'll do the washing up, clean the bathroom, put washing on or let the mum nap- because actually that's the best thing you can do to support a new mum ๐
I don't outstay my welcome (probably 1hr max) and I don't judge if they haven't managed to wash their hair or get dressed.
I'll hold a baby so the mum can go to the loo or drink their coffee and eat their lunch....
I remember the first month of Harrison's life seemed like a whirlwind (and sometimes still does) and the support network around you are the ones who keep you going...
So don't feel offended if your mum friend isn't keen for you to pop round straight away or if when you see them they aren't overly grateful for your lovely presents- they're probably just thinking about how they're going to get through the rest of the day/night feeding a baby every 2-3hrs and keeping the house/themselves as clean & tidy as they can ๐
Be a helper and offer to take the bin out or take them lunch round- be a supporter in their village ๐โ๐ป
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I'm in your village....
I'm loving this recent campaign- 'I'm in your village'
As a first time mum, these last 10 weeks have been a whirlwind of sleep deprivation, worry, happiness, overwhelming excitement and stress....
Nothing can prepare you for how much a little person will change your life and adapting from a full-time job to looking after a little bubba 24/7 is a huge challenge in itself.
For every successful day, there's a new challenge around the corner and I'd probably say it's been my most difficult 'job' to date...
I love being a mummy and it's great to watch Harrison develop each day.... but I hate the evenings when Kev has to work late or stay away with work... I love that he can support us and we are financially stable, but sometimes an adult conversation is all you need.... ๐
The 'in your village' campaign gets other people in the same boat as you together to support, natter, moan, cry and laugh....
It's so so important to have people around you to give you a boost and not just in motherhood- throughout any transitions in life.
I'm so grateful for my support network around me and I hope I can support others too...
Keep an eye out for people around you who may need some extra support ๐
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Happiness...
As it's International Happiness Day, I thought I'd jot down what makes me happy....
It can be the smallest things that put a smile on my face or give me a much needed lift some days...
Here are my happy moments:
Baby Harrison ๐
Sunshine โ๏ธ
Family ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ
Memories of my grandad
Prosecco ๐พ
Disney music
Antipasti sharing platters (that I eat to myself)
Musicals ๐ผ
Making others happy ๐
Holidays ๐
Coffee โ๏ธ
Organising things
Feeling proud of others ๐๐ผ
Looking back at our wedding day and honeymoon photos ๐ธ
Nice eyebrows ๐
Music from 00's ๐บ๐ผ
Bright colours
Spa days ๐๐ผ
Learning new things
Pizza ๐
Having my hair done ๐๐ผ
Seeing other people happy
Fresh shellac nails ๐
๐ผ
What are your happy moments?
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Do it for Max.... ๐
I went to school with Max's mummy (Tally) and although we didn't speak much back then, when I heard of their heartbreaking news, it really upset me and I think about their family often- about how they're doing, how they're coping and I admire Tally a lot for trying to rebuild their future as a family, especially for their young daughter, Lexie.
These are Tally's words:
If you could spare any change to donate to the charity, please follow this link- https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/doitformax
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