nakedanddismayed

[nakedanddismayed]

march

[nakedanddismayed]

it’s the first bad night in a long time.

i rip nyquil. i get 8 hours of sleep. when i wake up i hear my husband run upstairs.

in the rush of negative emotions, i forgot about how lucky i am to have him.

he’s taken out the dog. he asks me good questions about my night and has good perspective despite its trials. he drives us to breakfast. he makes me laugh. he pours my coffee.

how lucky i am. and the night wasn’t even that bad huh?

[nakedanddismayed]

i really never thought i’d have a girl group

taking my 3 favorite people to see my favorite show <333333

because i live in the same state as them??

this is sensational.

[nakedanddismayed]

my mom is telling me a story:

a woman wants advice- her daughter wants to dance professionally. what is the roadmap?

my mom says she told her what she told me:

don’t do it. the odds of making it in the arts world are as low as playing sports professionally.

“do you remember when you asked me if you could major in theatre?” she asks me.

“no.”

“i told you you weren’t allowed and you took it well. you came up to me three days later and said well you majored in dance! and we laughed and laughed! … anyway.. do you ever want to get back into acting?”

i’m quiet.

“i genuinely don’t remember how to act.”

she laughs and thinks i’m being dramatic.

“it’s a skill. you have to work to stay good. i have not acted on stage or screen in 6 years.”

and i was good. i had the skillset.

most likely to win an oscar was my superlative in both high school and college.

i was on tv with people who are now in national commercials and movies.

i’m so happy with where i am so this is all for the best, of course.

but it’s crazy not to believe in your kids.

where would she be if her parents didn’t allow her to get a degree in dance?

i digress.

[nakedanddismayed]

27 Wrapped:

Bought a house

Celebrated Galentines in my Home (WITH DECOR!)

Got promoted and rejected it after 1 month

Saw 4 shows/ concerts (Room Service, Avril Lavigne, Star Wars Orchastra, The Play That Goes Wrong)

Did 5 group events with my friends

Went to 2 weddings

Got an abortion

Did yoga

Got food poisoning

Traveled to 2 countries (Aruba + Jamaica)

Went to 2 baseball games

Went fishing

Started barre

Saw a football game

Started + finished PT

[nakedanddismayed]

when my dad helped us paint a few months ago he said “i found grandmoms bissell when cleaning out her house and brought it over for you.”

today when the dog got sick i found it in my basement. still in the styrofoam. postage from 3/25/2007. 3 payments of $58.24.

when she bought this, i was 10 years old.

now i am 28. using her spotbot in the home that i own.

i texted my dad and said it works great. he said she always loved when we used a gift from her, and she’d be smiling.

something about the passage of time.

[nakedanddismayed]

a reminder

[nakedanddismayed]

they call me the freaker outer the way I’m always freaking outing

[nakedanddismayed]

fire and ice festival. cheap italian breakfast. antiquing. feels like a first date. in a good way.

[nakedanddismayed]

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

[nakedanddismayed]

talk is cheap.

and we did so much of it.

but here we are.

sipping wine and laughing after our fitness class.

watching my favorite show and

i’m watching you drink it in.

there were days i felt so alone- miles away

even if we talked every day.

but now here you are.

in my home.

and i know for sure

this is what life is all about.

tomorrow you’ll drive us to work

and next week we will do it

all over again.

we were never going to let it just be talk,

were we?

[nakedanddismayed]

does anyone know if we have Being Afraid tomorrow

[nakedanddismayed]

in:

movies

puzzles

fun workouts

2 stanleys of water / day

dressing up

stretching

out:

pushing my body past its limits

saying yes to everything

beer

background sound

[nakedanddismayed]

needing a can to drain grease is a great excuse to pour a pre made marg into a glass. soup is simmering in the kitchen and im in the sitting room. there’s a tv in here right now as the big couch and tv stand don’t come until friday. little by little this house is becoming home. it feels especially warm tonight.

[nakedanddismayed]

hey! take it easy soon, if you can. 

[nakedanddismayed]

today i put christmas decor away. i installed a shower filter. i went to the gym for an hour incline walk. i did good work and got a “that’s a perfect idea” message from my big boss. i took the dog on a long and chilly snowy walk. i got a massage. S had dinner ready when i got home. he poured me wine while we caught up on skeleton crew and finished the first season of ted lasso. it’s 9:45 but im in bed with an olipop about to read. the house is so warm. and perfect. i am so happy.

tomorrow is friday. i will restart my tradition of grabbing panera breakfast. ill take my long shower. i’ll go to work with my best friend. what is not to love.

[nakedanddismayed]

accidentally spending the whole day with my best friend as her roommate works on my car. we get starbucks and she runs my errands with me while we laugh and talk the whole time. she had a long night and has a long night ahead, but she has sacrificed for me. it feels so warm to be loved. i was so sure we’d be all talk- but here we are: 15 min neighbors and seeing each other multiple times a week. it’s my favorite thing in the world.

and at 8:30 mw comes over, and we catch up, getting distracted by the NYE concerts. talking about who we love and want to see. bullying the mUrDer on tHe dAnCe fLoor singer. seeing the venue we ate at during my bach party. s makes us dinner. he sets up a tray of crab dip and cuts up the bread i made. i make drinks. we pop champagne. we make a bingo chart side by side with what we expect to come.

it’s 2025.

i am home.

and it will be the best year yet.