nagisapenguindrum - Tumblr blog

[nagisapenguindrum]

Art by Winny

※ Permission to post was granted by the artist. ※ Please don’t edit, remove caption or repost without permission. ※ Commercial use is prohibited.

[nagisapenguindrum]

just popping back here to say i’m alive and glad that kyoani made sousuke a bass player because yes thank you that’s what i’ve been saying since the beginning, he’s made for bass for so many reasons, first off because bass is sexy as fuck

although I’m disappointed by this art bc electric bass guitars have WAY longer necks like... no, that’s not how a bass is made. It needs to be longer kyoani. COME ON KYOANI. You did it right in K-On, what the hell. This just looks like an electric guitar with a short neck and missing a string. Come on

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May 2019 be a better year than 2018.

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x

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something is telling me Nagisa is one of those people who thinks it’s warmer in someone else’s pockets. Bonus warmth if they are Rei’s.

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I feel mostly indifferent towards holidays *thanks retail* But that image with Rei and Nagisa .. I dont even know whats happening in the rest of the poster idontevennnncare

I’d like to imagine that this is where the antlers came from, BUT ALSO WHAT IF THEY PLANNED IT OUT BEFOREHAND…

might… draw more

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apparently porn bots are now hacking into in-use accounts (I’m assuming larger accounts) and posting while the blog owner is still active. 

holy fuck.

why are staff so incompetent

rather than fixing their obviously very flawed code and development, they’re deciding to ban tits? fucking tits?

that being said, although it’s so unlikely this will happen to me, please know that it’s not me posting these links and photos. Please dont click on the links. 

oh my god.

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So, there’s this thing that forces people to reblog ads. If you see me reblog and ad, please let me know and I’ll get rid of them. I can assure you that those posts are not from me.

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Newly added multi-muse featuring Rei Ryugazki from Free!! and many others here. Please like or REBLOG if wanting or interested in rping. Thanks and hope to write with everyone soon.

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( Like for a starter? ) 

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who’s still on tumblr?

reblog if you plan on remaining active.

just wanna see if the number’s still huge! ☆

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So hey guys it seems i’m still here, but there’s a problem MY COMPUTER DIED! SIIIIGH. I don’t know how much writing i’m going to do since i’m just on iPhone and maybe i’ll get my brother’s iPad passed down to me but I don’t know when. This means I can’t use the tumblr chat on this account, so if you need to talk to me I suggest you contact me on nagisapenguindrum-archive which is still on my other account. That is, until i’ll be able to get my computer back, but that won’t happen before January.

[nagisapenguindrum]

oh hey guys, tomorrow the staff's sledgehammer is falling on this website so i'm gonna take part in the website-wide protest and won't be online for the whole day, so i'm going to log off now and won’t be online for the whole day tomorrow so no replies and I won’t even be checking. I also recommend all of you don’t come on tumblr for the whole day because fuck staff, fuck Yahoo and fuck Verizon because their decision is ridiculous bullshit and I won’t stand for this blatant censorship of queer content and women’s voices (did you notice how none of the porn bots were affected and I bet the child porn will still be right there, but fuck artists and sex workers and queer people I guess, amirite staff). 

I’ll be back on the 18th though.

[nagisapenguindrum]

“I mean, they haven’t called me, and usually they call me immediately if I’m being late, so I guess someone here did warn them,” he thinks aloud, and sighs while rubbing her arm softly, almost searching for something to remind him there are real things, there is someone real he can hold onto.  As for things getting better... he says nothing about it. Yes, Arashi and his gang are over with, but even if he’s had nothing to do with gangs in his life before yesterday, he knows trouble can’t be over. He’s seen enough tv shows to know there is still a chance him and Harmony are in danger. And if anything, the trail of blood Harmony left behind her must have created at least some alarm in those filthy holes. If some gang leaders are probably going to be glad about the territory left uncovered and quickly claim it for themselves, the others will maybe want revenge or a guarantee no strong other party can get to them. 

But if he voices these worries right now, maybe Harmony will worry more than she already is, so he just lies back down and stares at the ceiling, still holding onto her hand. 

And then something else comes to mind - Makoto, Rin, Sousuke, Haru-chan... Rei. His heart sinks like a rock, and his face goes pale. They should know by now, but Rei... he always worried so much about Nagisa. And Nagisa never gave it any weigh, never took that protectiveness seriously.  That’s when the cold spreads. His breathing stops, and he slaps his hands over his eyelids when the tears rise up and he can’t hold them back, with sobs shaking his small frame.  He never wanted Rei to worry about him. And he never wanted him to have a reason for it. Thinking about any of them makes his heart sink even further - they all belong to such a happy time, to such a different version of him, to a version of himself that had big dreams, big aspirations, big ideas. And all those broken expectations are scattered around him, and just for a moment he wonders, what will they think?  Still, he blinks and looks around, and Harmony is there. She never listened to him ramble about those dreams, she’s grounded in his reality. She never expected him to be more than what he is, right now.  “Ah, I-I’m... sorry. I just thought about... the guys. It just... seems so far away. I mean, high school... swimming...” He does miss swimming, but even more so the simplicity of things. School, and the club, and nothing else to worry about, and a future with so many options for picking. It was exciting. And he definitely did not have to worry about his safety, back then. He was just a boy living in a reasonably small town, where barely anything ever happened. It does seem like this city swallowed him whole, so maybe he should have stayed back in Iwatobi. The dreams he had there were bigger than that town, but at least he would not have had to see them fall and shatter, not like this.  At the same time, that’s too far away now, too. Extremely far away, like he was projected in space within the space of just one night. The happiness from that past doesn’t seem to be with him anymore. 

His eyes close slowly again, and he bites his lip with the sudden, impossible urge of crawling out of his own skin. But mostly, something else seems to worry him more - he expected to feel worse. He expected to feel in unbearable pain, but this seems so... mild.  He blinks, looking at the ceiling, baffled. With everything that was done to him... he is so relatively calm. Maybe it will be okay, right? Maybe he will get over it fast. He got over things quite simply before, so this must be the case as well. 

Yeah, maybe that’s it! It will be okay. 

See you again

cnagisapenguindrum‌:

ursusxarctos‌:

“Don’t, okay?” He replies, holding onto her hand a bit tighter as he shakes his head. “Again, it’s not your fault. I do not blame you one bit, so stop blaming yourself. None of it is because of you, it’s only because of those… demons.” However he looks away briefly, nibbling on his lip, and goes on quickly. “And… okay, yes, you should’ve told me, but after all, I understand why you didn’t. Of course, had it been me I would’ve done exactly the same, Harmony, and I would not have thought this would have been my fault had it happened to someone else.” 

He keeps quiet a few seconds, listening to his body as his heart picks up. Not just because of the thought of being questioned by the police. Again, talking about the topic seems to make his heart race only faster.  “Hopefully they called work and told them about why I’m not at the mall today. I don’t think I could tell them myself,” he explains in a low voice, however his eyes keep darting to the cuts and bruises on Harmony’s face and body. Poor girl. “Does it still hurt?” He asks, pointing at them. And then he wonders, silently, whether there is going to be some sort of danger still lurking - after all, crime gangs could not survive by working on their own, there muse be others they were tied to.  They might go after Harmony, or after him - maybe they still aren’t really safe. But Harmony seems to be really shaken, probably more than Nagisa himself is… bringing this up now would only make her be more anxious. 

And then, something bothers him. With his parents and sisters worrying for him, asking him questions, being happy he was more or less alright, it seemed like they were talking to someone else, or about something foreign to him. Of course, he knows they worried, and the fact they came all the way from Iwatobi proves it, but– he kept thinking, they don’t know what it’s like. Even his sister’s anger seemed irrelevant, distant, vague. She was really furious, but what he needs is not anger and it’s not someone to demand justice or revenge. It’s as if something materialized between him and them, a veil than makes visions come as distorted. But Harmony is clear and vivid, like nobody else is real. He scoots aside, patting a spot on the bed, inviting her to sit. Maybe her warmth will help him see everyone again. 

 “Sorry.” Her voice is low and she returns the squeeze with her thumb rubbing over the back of it, happy that he’s getting the best care he needs. 

“I don’t see why they won’t tell them. I can visit your work and talk to them. They would have to give you some leniency.” She adds to offer some help. Her plan was to contact Nagisa’s boss, but she felt it’s best to ask him about it.  Harmony shakes her head when he asks about the injuries. “No, not so much anymore. They won’t last forever and I had worse.” It’s nothing compared to the extent of his wounds. It ravaged his body inside and out, even leaving him with haunting consequences.

Eyes follow Nagisa’s hand when he pats the space on his bed. She expected that he would prefer her to take a seat in one of the chairs close to the bed. Maybe he wants her closer and after everything, she wants him around, reminding her Nagisa is alive and in one piece. That he’s safe and far from the nightmares that wreck into their lives. Harmony settles on the bed beside him. “I’m hoping that things will get better. They have to be.”

———

If only it was the very end of the torment. Neither Nagisa or Harmony are aware of the trouble brewing from the aftermath. Arashi wasn’t the most notorious criminals in Tokyo’s underworld, but he had connections. It didn’t talk long for news of his death. It started with a kidnapping and torture driven by toxic jealousy and ended with a “boy” drawing a weapon to paint the warehouse red. 

In their eyes, this is a grave sin and Arashi killer will surely pay.

[nagisapenguindrum]

“Don’t, okay?” He replies, holding onto her hand a bit tighter as he shakes his head. “Again, it’s not your fault. I do not blame you one bit, so stop blaming yourself. None of it is because of you, it’s only because of those... demons.” However he looks away briefly, nibbling on his lip, and goes on quickly. “And... okay, yes, you should’ve told me, but after all, I understand why you didn’t. Of course, had it been me I would’ve done exactly the same, Harmony, and I would not have thought this would have been my fault had it happened to someone else.” 

He keeps quiet a few seconds, listening to his body as his heart picks up. Not just because of the thought of being questioned by the police. Again, talking about the topic seems to make his heart race only faster.  “Hopefully they called work and told them about why I’m not at the mall today. I don’t think I could tell them myself,” he explains in a low voice, however his eyes keep darting to the cuts and bruises on Harmony’s face and body. Poor girl. “Does it still hurt?” He asks, pointing at them. And then he wonders, silently, whether there is going to be some sort of danger still lurking - after all, crime gangs could not survive by working on their own, there muse be others they were tied to.  They might go after Harmony, or after him - maybe they still aren’t really safe. But Harmony seems to be really shaken, probably more than Nagisa himself is... bringing this up now would only make her be more anxious. 

And then, something bothers him. With his parents and sisters worrying for him, asking him questions, being happy he was more or less alright, it seemed like they were talking to someone else, or about something foreign to him. Of course, he knows they worried, and the fact they came all the way from Iwatobi proves it, but-- he kept thinking, they don’t know what it’s like. Even his sister’s anger seemed irrelevant, distant, vague. She was really furious, but what he needs is not anger and it’s not someone to demand justice or revenge. It’s as if something materialized between him and them, a veil than makes visions come as distorted. But Harmony is clear and vivid, like nobody else is real. He scoots aside, patting a spot on the bed, inviting her to sit. Maybe her warmth will help him see everyone again. 

See you again

 nagisapenguindrum‌:     

ursusxarctos‌:

Thanks the heavens. 

“Hey,” he replies as he spent the last few minutes just waiting for her, and gives her a little smile while slowly sitting up and winces at the stitches - although they’re already starting to hurt a lot less. He stares at the stuffed toy with bewilderment, as a grown man, but still he gives out a low chuckle, putting it on his lap. That’s true, it does feel pretty lonely and alien, confined in an hospital with nothing but the memories assaulting him whenever his mind is idle enough. 

“Thanks, it’s cute,” he says, and then tilts his head. “No, why wouldn’t you? Guess most of the exams are over, I’m mostly just… sitting here with nothing to do. I think they’ll keep checking on my blood and keep the… thing under control, but there’s no reason for keeping you out.” 

It does feel a bit better now, though. He yawns, tired from having stayed awake that long with paranoia, but with sunlight coming through and Harmony right here all those worries faded away. At least for the moment. 

He nibbles on his own lip, letting silence fill up the seconds until he sits comfortably enough, rubbing his own eyelids. 

“Last night was horrible. Was on edge the whole time before falling asleep, and I guess I kept expecting someone to just… barge into this room and restrain me.”

His eyes wander towards the floor, as he sighs. 

“Still, seeing you right now makes me feel a lot calmer, you know? But I can tell it’s gonna take a while to… get back to normal. For you as well, I guess?” And finally he clenches his fists, but looks back at her with a certain twisted satisfaction. “But at least now they’re gone, they won’t come back and won’t mess with you anymore, so… there’s that. I was thinking about it earlier and… I didn’t like it, you know, I feel sorry about breaking spider’s webs, but I’m glad I killed them, you know.” 

He looks down at his hands, and puffs air out with tension. 

“If I’m gonna get in trouble for it, then it’s worth it.”

“I thought you might like it.” Harmony sees the exhaustion painted on Nagisa’s face. “I’m very sorry you had a rough night.” She has a feeling that his experience last night was worse than he lets on.  

“Do you want me to get you anything?” Harmony thought about surprising Nagisa with a treat but she has a feeling that his stomach might be a little uneasy. Maybe that will change pretty quick. “I…” His words are the last she expects. Every minute intensified her growing fear of Nagisa lashing out in anger or bursting into tears. She wouldn’t blame him if he did. After everything that happened to him, Nagisa has every right to feel that way. 

But anger and pain aren’t the only things that scare Harmony. She was afraid he would back away from her, shaking in the sheets and begging her to leave. Yet…He didn’t do any of that. In fact, he’s doing the opposite. It makes her breathe a little easier, glad they didn’t destroy the friendship they had. Eyes focus on her hands wringing together. Gray eyes shift back to the blonde. “It’s okay. No one will come in and restrain you. You’re certainly in a safe place. No one can hurt you in here. As for the police, maybe they will let you go on the grounds of self-defense. That’s what really happened. ” It’s harder to ignore the guilt getting heavier by the minute. 

“Nagisa…” Harmony takes a deep breath, dreading to bring it up, but she won’t have any peace until she does.

“I…I wish I told you…About my life before meeting you. I wasn’t in a good place and I thought…” Harmony swallows hard, her head feels lighter with blood draining from her face. “I thought no one like them would even remember and I could just move on.” That’s what Harmony wants, more than anything. “I never wanted you to be in the middle of it. I’m sorry. I really am and I would take it all back if I . Is there anything I can do to…” Maybe what she is about to ask isn’t the right way, but she has to know. “Help you?”

[nagisapenguindrum]

For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

[nagisapenguindrum]

@staff has said explicit writing is still safe on tumblr but my erotic short stories have mysteriously disappeared from my personal blog so maybe heads up and back up your writing just in case