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Part II: Journey to McKinney

So, after we officially met, we talked for about six months while I was still overseas because I had no clue God was positioning and preparing me to return back home. I felt impressed by the Holy Spirit to put in my letter of intent for the following year that stated I would not be returning to Taiwan. This happened a month after I met him. He was ecstatic! I was apprehensive because I did not know what God was doing and neither did I know what my immediate future held but I had faith and trusted GOD although I couldn’t trace his direction at the time. So, throughout the course of the six months I wanted to know that this man was truly from GOD, so I watched his every move, proved his character and opposed him in every way. But what stood out the most was his patience with me. He never once showed his displeasure although he had every reason to. I constantly used every excuse to not move forward with him because of the pain from other men that I had experienced in the path. He knew a month after we met that he wanted to be with me PERIOD. I was not yet convinced. I was apprehensive and faithless. You see when you have been hurt for years by men who did not live up to your expectation or the standard as a man of GOD you become cautious. And as women we constantly build up walls that the RIGHT man of GOD has to tear down because of the pain you endured prior to his encounter with you. BUT the RIGHT man will be willing to take down the wall brick by brick to get what GOD has for the both of you! PRAISE HIM!!!!! I can honestly say I was a MESS, but GOD turned my MESS into HIS MESSAGE! I had no clue how much work GOD was about to do in me through him! And vice versa! You see the road to marriage brings you to HOLINESS! It strengthens your prayer life, makes you selfless, gives you true understanding of the word sacrifice and teaches you much forgiveness and unconditional love. If you are not willing to experience these things, then getting married may not be for you! I say this because what I have learned is becoming one begins way before you say, “I DO”! As both of you chooses GOD each day, he shows you, your reflection in the other person and you are literally looking at an outward appearance of the inward struggles that you may have been dealing with your entire life. I always say to my fiancé we are so much alike but yet we are so different. Also, I’ve learned that there is so much that “they don’t tell you”. “They” are society and what it means to truly be in a GOD-FEARING RELATIONSHIP. There are so many nuances built within the relationship that you begin to discover them in an experiential way that matures you and prepares you for the road ahead. Ok, now that you have that insight let me get back to the story.

So, we talked for six months on and off, over the phone because I was not yet sure I wanted to commit to anyone while I was overseas not knowing where my next destination would be. But, unbeknownst to me he felt that the holy spirit was leading me back to Atlanta within a short amount of time. He did not think God would let him meet me and have this extended relationship be abroad the entire time. So, as I was closing out one chapter of my life, another one was just beginning and I left Taiwan only to have several opportunities waiting for me to accept in Atlanta, a JOB, A PLACE, and A MAN! God is a PROVIDER!!!! What He has for you will ALWAYS BE FOR YOU!!!! Yet, I was still nervous about ONE of those things and that was my man. You see I realized that what made me nervous was the fact that I really was not trusting GOD like I thought I was. I could pick up and move in a heartbeat to go overseas and trust that He would provide everything I needed. But what I had not learned was FAITH to believe that HE could give me the long-awaited desires of my heart that I had hoped for! What stands out to me the most is that we pray, we Pray, and we PRAY for blessings from GOD and yet we don’t really believe that what we PRAYED for will actually happen! And I can attest that I had seen GOD do it for so many of my friends and perfect strangers and although I desired these things, I had lost faith that HE WOULD DO IT FOR ME! Why?! Well, I am glad you asked! I had been so disappointed from the past relationships that did not come to fruition that I doubted GOD’S ability to do it for me at this point in my life! But GOD in HIS INFINITE MERCY and GRACE did exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think according to the power that works in us! Ok, so this is the good part! After about NINE months of pursuing me! He was finally at his wits end! We said our goodbyes, yes goodbyes and I was moving on with my life, so I thought! But I was restless because when GOD wants you to do something, HE is relentless especially when HE knows it’s HIS PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE! I was restless and I called him to meet up with me. He obliged and came that day to meet me. I had asked GOD if I was really hearing him right then let him be willing to meet me that day in just a few hours on this short notice. I prayed this prayer then reached out to him and he immediately responded and said YES! Just after we had already parted ways and said our goodbyes, a few days before! So, we met and I poured out my heart to him saying how sorry I was for opposing him and that I was ready to commit to him and how GOD was showing me that I did not trust HIM and I was not exercising FAITH because I allowed the pain of my past to blur my vision of the future ahead! He listened intently to me and politely declined my offer! Yesssssss, ladies he was done with me! I mean I was looking like a WHOLE SNACK and he STILL declined! The DEVIL is a LIAR! LOL! But, he was tired of the back and forth and indecisiveness that I exuded because I just couldn’t believe that this was the answered prayer that I had hoped for, for many YEARS not because I did not want to believe but because I could not believe past the pain, the hurt I had experienced outweighed the joy that was awaiting me! I mean, could I blame him? He was patient and diligent for NINE months and still nothing and now I am ready to move forward. But, you see GOD was teaching both of us a lesson that would last a lifetime in his timing, in exercising faith and in submitting and surrendering to His will even when it doesn’t make sense at the time. So, I respected his answer and we said our official goodbyes. And before we parted ways, I hugged him so tight as if I would never encounter him again. And with that hug from both sides came an influx of emotions that immediately brought on a wellspring of tears that were uncontrollable. I had never confessed or opened up to a guy like I did that night and became so vulnerable just to be rejected and sent out empty. But I was at peace because I had been obedient to what GOD was telling me and had been telling me for such a long time and in that moment, I trusted him although at this point nothing was making sense. So, a little over a month went by and I was supposed to meet my friend out of town. We had scheduled and planned this trip, but I was not really impressed to go! So the day before, I cancelled the trip which eventually worked out because she texted me later that day and said her daughter had a terrible fever that night and we would not have been able to meet up even if we tried. That day was the Sabbath and I asked GOD where he wanted me to attend church? This is my custom as I want to hear the message, He has for specifically for me. And lo and behold He sends me to my fiancé’s church! I was a bit apprehensive, but I was obedient and went. Side note, I looked extra cute that day! LOL! And before I went in I said GOD if you do not want me to see him then let me slip in unnoticed. If you do want me to see him then let our paths cross organically. And lo and behold I walk in and he is one of the FIRST faces I see! He immediately called me over and I signaled to him that I needed to run to the lady’s room and when I came back he greeted me. Well, you see unbeknownst to me he was not scheduled to be there that day as well. He was not planning to go to his church, he was planning to go somewhere else. But GOD!!!!! He had his Aunt ask him to come and help her and his uncle serve for Senior Day. So, he was at a designated table helping the seniors and my heart just melted. You see I am a MISSIONARY at heart and his desire to serve was what I needed to see to reassure me that he was the one for me! So, he introduced me to his Aunt and Uncle! I immediately fell in love with them and he stated how beautiful I looked, and I said how handsome he looked, and I walked away quickly because I felt tears streaming. The entire service I cried, wondering why GOD had brought me there to see him when clearly, he was no longer interested. But, little did I know that GOD was working on his heart and mine to bring us back together. That entire week he was restless until he called me at the end of the week! I was out of town at an attorney’s retreat. I had missed his called so he was on the other end thinking I was dismissing him and wondering if he should’ve reached out and would I call him back, all of these emotions because he knew as well as I did that we were destined to be! So, when I did see his missed call, I sent him a slew of pics from my beautiful destination and I called him on video and his face immediately lit up! We both smiled talked and he asked me out because for my birthday, which was the following week! And unbeknownst to him I had scheduled a private birthday dinner with a personal chef to come and cater to my friends and I. But, I asked GOD again what I should do for my birthday? The reason I asked is because we have our little menial plans but GOD has the MASTER PLAN and He has the BEST SURPRISES so I wanted to make sure this birthday would be MEMORABLE so I asked HIM and indeed it was! Side Note: Start TRUSTING GOD with ALL OF YOUR PLANS and watch HIM blow your mind! Ok, back to the story! Then the chef ended up canceling the gig and I cancelled the party and was feeling quite sad. So, I said to GOD the only other thing I would want to happen is for my fiancé to ask me out for my birthday since now I officially had no plans anymore, this was the secret prayer I prayed a week before he reached out to me. So, that’s why he was restless all week until he obeyed GOD’s voice to answer my SPECIAL prayer! Then a week later we spent the day together and he was so into me and so happy and so ready to be all mine! LOL! And because I noticed a change in his behavior then later that night, I asked him what did he want from me? And he asked me to be his girlfriend! It was FINALLY happening!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! And of course before he could finish I said YESSSSSSSSSSSS! It had been such a long road but quite a real experience! This ROAD TO GIRLFRIEND was a MILESTONE but the JOURNEY TO MCKINNEY has been REVOLUTIONARY so part III YESSSSSSSS part III is COMING SOON because there are LEVELS to this!!!!!  

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PART I: Journey to McKinney

“The only thing I would change about us is that I wish I had met you sooner so I could love you longer”. I remember when praying and telling GOD that I wanted to LOVE HIS WAY, I wanted to experience what it felt like to love someone unconditional. I wanted to court the WAY he designed us to court. I wanted to do it HIS WAY because I was tired of failing. See, BEFORE I gave my life to GOD I was a COMPLETE MESS! I was broken from being in a broken home, hurt, angry, bitter, and suicidal and the list goes on! And on top of all of that I had NEVER experienced love the way GOD wanted me to! I slept with my boyfriends hoping I would find love and only ended with wasted time and a broken heart. So, 15 years ago YESSSSSSSS 15 years I decided to follow GOD all the way whatever that looked like. I made up in my mind that I wanted to be PURE; I wanted to WAIT on HIM and let HIM FIND the TRUE LOVE HE had for me! But, I had the wrong idea of what PURITY looked like. I thought it was just waiting on God, not having sex and it was a guaranteed win. But this journey had taught me that PURITY meant redirecting my thoughts when they would be wayward. It meant denying myself momentary pleasure for eternal gain. See waiting is more about the process than the finished results. It means to TRUST GOD in those times that you can’t trace Him. It means to continue to walk the journey He has you on even if it feels like it is leading you NO WHERE. See, just like the children of Israel were in the wilderness for 40 years when they could have been in the Promised Land in 40 days. God was trying to purge Egypt from their hearts and their minds and had He given them the PROMISE too soon they would have turned the very blessing into a curse. So, it’s the same with us! God wants to PURGE us from our sins and sometimes “the wait” is the only way He can show us what is really in our hearts. Within these 15 years, God needed me to be in position to do his will above every desire of my heart. He needed to see if I would be true to His word when things did not work out in my favor. Could I have been ready sooner, absolutely! But with my stubbornness, ignorance and brokenness I needed each year to refine me ultimately for his kingdom and the man that He had for me. We live in a world where EVERYONE is waiting on GOD’S BEST for their lives. Everyone wants to get married and everyone wants a spouse. And guess what there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! But what I’ve learned throughout this journey is that the road to Marriage REQUIRES humility, unconditional love, faith, prayer, sacrifice, patience, selflessness. These are just some of the things that will shape you and the person not only for each other but also for eternity. See, GOD inevitably wants to save us and that means joining us with someone to display his character EVERY SINGLE DAY of our lives until He returns. So, in essence if you are reading this and you are SINGLE and want a GODLY relationship then just know that your relationship will begin when your RELATIONSHIP with CHRIST is your FIRST PRIORITY. You may say well I have already prioritized HIM but are you CONTENT? Are you content if He never brings someone in your life? Are you content with being Single for a season or for a lifetime? Are you content with where He has you RIGHT NOW? You see I had to get to that point in my life where whether He blessed me with someone or not my life was full because I had HIM. And the moment I actually believed it and started living it, instead of just saying it then it became a reality.

Now that you have somewhat of a background, let me get to the story of how I met my fiancé. So, at the time I was living overseas in Taiwan. And six months prior to meeting him, I met someone else. It was an immediate attraction and he was everything I thought I wanted. But GOD had given me numerous signs that He wasn’t it. We continued to talk and spend time with each other. But, something was off. I was ready for a committed relationship and He still wasn’t sure that I was it. So, one day when he thought he could get girlfriend privileges while just being a friend. I called him and shared my sentiments about the situation and finally asked him what he wanted. He knew exactly what I was talking about. And stated that he just wanted to be friends. I was crushed! We cordially said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I wondered why God had allowed this amazing man so I thought to cross my path just to tease me and not give me that desire of my heart. I wondered why God would let me experience what it felt like to get butterflies again just to take that feeling away. And I wondered why things turned out the way they did. But, what I realize in hindsight is that God needed to give me everything I thought I wanted to see how would respond if He took it away. Would I still trust Him? Would I remain faithful to Him? Would I stand firm on His promises? It’s hard to trust GOD when you can’t trace Him. It’s hard to understand His plan, when you can’t see where it is leading you! But, despite the brokenness I trusted Him. And six months later I met my fiancé. But let me backtrack.

Remember I was still living overseas as a Missionary. I had planned to come home for the holidays to see my family and meet up with my special friend. But since that plan went south I was still coming home just not to the love that I thought I had. A month prior to my arrival, God put on my heart to do a homeless drive. A friend of mine had posted a picture of some homeless people sleeping under a bridge in Atlanta and my heart broke. So, another friend commented as well on the picture. And we all quickly devised a plan to do a drive. I coordinated as much as I could while overseas and when I arrived home, we went straight into action. Collected money, gathered donated items, purchased items, enough for 100 people. I had prayed profusely for this drive because I wanted God to show Himself strong in it and do what we could not do in such a short amount of time. So, the day came that it was time for the drive. I had attended another church besides my home church where we would meet the volunteers and head out around the city of Atlanta to feed the homeless. My friend called me to tell me that everything was setup and ready to go at the church. So, I went over and called him when I arrived for him to help me bring the items inside. He didn’t answer. It was raining that day and I found myself without an umbrella. And he failed to be on the umbrella ministry at that time LOL. So, I quickly ran inside and saw my friend, who was the mutual friend of my fiancé. Little did I know that my fiancé went to his home church that morning but decided to head over to my home church to meet up with our mutual friend not knowing that God was orchestrating his steps as well as mine to meet this way.  God is such a strategic God. He is so intentional. And He is the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER. So, when I walked in he was there and when he saw me, let’s just say the “heavens opened and the music was playing, hearts, and stars were in his eyes, unbeknownst to me who was so busy bringing in the things from the car that I did not even notice him. Side note: Ladies I was so busy in my PURPOSE that I was NOT LOOKING for a man! I wanted simply to do God’s will and I had no agenda but to serve God whole-heartedly. I have noticed that sometimes we say that God is our number one priority but he knows our heart and until we fully surrender everything to Him and leave it in His hands to work out the way He wants it to then He cannot bless us how he wants to. Ok, let me get back to the regularly schedule programming. But when I finally did see him I was a bit unimpressed because he did not offer to help us bring in the items for the homeless drive but unbeknownst to me I later found out that he was so mesmerized by my beauty he failed to assist, talk about star struck. So, I let it slide after some time. Finally, I went to greet my other friends who were already there, talking with him and I introduced myself to him. They made a joke, wondering how we didn’t know each other and hadn’t met and I responded saying I remembered his face from a previous occasion at another church. He looked at me in awe. You see FIVE years earlier God had allowed our paths to cross. I attended a new church to visit since there is a church on every corner in Atlanta. And I went with my best friend. After church we were in the parking lot getting ready to leave and saying our goodbyes. I looked up and saw my fiancé and noticed he was walking in the same direction as I was to his car. Little did we know that we had parked right next to each other. But, GOD!!!! I looked up and realized that I noticed him from pictures that our mutual friend had posted on Facebook and was about to greet him and say something. But, the Holy Spirit would not let me speak and gave me the spirit of SHUT UP! You see we have to know when to speak and when to be QUIET because that is all apart of God’s plan as well. We have to leave room to let Him work! And I am so glad that I obeyed because at that time we were both in a place where God was still developing us. And had we met prematurely then we would not be where we are now. God still needed to work on our hearts and minds to be the people He was calling us to be. And that meant it would take another FIVE years before we were RIPE for our “official” meeting. God has a SPECIAL way to fulfill his purpose and sometimes we like to RUSH the process in hopes of getting there sooner. But, His will and His way always works best not just for us but also for everyone. Remember, He is a strategic God and he blesses multiple things at one time. We must learn to wait on GOD’S timing and know that, the “in the meantime” PROCESS we may be experiencing is just as important as the PROMISE we are waiting for to be fulfilled. Now, let me share what actually happened after we “officially” met and the JOURNEY we have been on to MCKINNEY.......Part II coming soon!!!!

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So I have this collapsible bin next to my bed and I noticed that nothing else would fit so I decided to pull all the books out and VOILA! Here are the selections over the past few months! I've always enjoyed reading but I'm taking it to the next level! I haven't watched TV since November, I can't seem to put these books down! #bookworm #goodread #knowledgeispower #BUTAPPLIEDKNOWLEDGEISEVENMOREPOWERFUL

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When you feeling despondent or discouraged just TRUST GOD ;-)

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On the downside.....one of my students found out I was leaving and cried her eyes out then got mad!!!! So this is the face I have to deal with.....she even cute when she's mad lol

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#imsoexcited #welcomemeback #illbeinATLANTAforalimitedtimeonly #soschedulemeforLUNCHDINNERORPLAYDATES #imdownforthecount #imsoexcited #andextremelyTHANKFUL

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Happy Sabbath!!! #chengduliving #chinaadventures #Sabbath #7thday #rest

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I had soooooooo much fun going BOWLING! I had not been bowling in 9 months so YAAAAY me for having a piece of HOME in CHINA! ;-)

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#mycurrentsituation #allIneedinthislifeofsin #ismyBIBLEJOURNAL&DEVOTIONAL #howwillyoustartYOURweek

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#goodtimes #hangingwiththefellas

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www.stephaniaguthrie.com Check out my website for tips and helpful information for all travelers, my nomadic adventures, photos and videos of my escapades and much more! I'd love to hear from you so send me a message in the "contact me" section for any other questions, concerns, etc. #moretocome #itsonlythebeginning #lettheadventurescontinue

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It had me at....."LEARN TO RELATE TO OTHERS THROUGH MY LOVE"....#mercy #love #morningdevotional

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Happy Sabbath Peeps!!! #thankGodforgivingusarestday #andfordeliverance #forhissacrifice #icouldgoonandon #butiwont lol #justkidding #letmejustsay #thankGODJESUSpaidtheprice #Hisdeathforoursinswasahighpricetopay #butHislovewasgreater #mercy #wonthedoit #okimdone :-)

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I had the pleasure of preparing some AUTHENTIC Indian dishes with some great friends! #indianfood #friendsfromIndia #mynexttrip #eatingIndianfoodinChina #nomad #chengduliving #chinaadventures #bohemianstyle #besideseatingcookingismynextlove ;-)

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#yupthatwillbeme #christianhumor #whenweallgettoheaven #whatadayofrejoicingthatwillbe #whenweallseeJESUS #wewillsingandshouttheVICTORY #HappySABBATH ;-)

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Yessssssss!!!! #safety #willofGOD #stayconnected